“Well.” Nathaniel took a long breath, trying to think of what to say. “I suppose it’s been nice for you to see each other again after all these years?”
“I guess so.”
Nathaniel waited for a few seconds of silence to pass before he glanced over at her. She was looking down at her hands, a few strands of hair hanging over her eyes and the serious face he remembered seeing the first time he’d met her was clear. He could tell she’d been uncomfortable discussing her past, and he wished he’d never brought it up. He could see the clear pain in her face, and he hadn’t intended to hurt her.
He’d only wanted to be nice and give her a ride like he would’ve done if anyone had been walking in the rain.
The rest of the way to Mr. Mason’s house, the silence remained, and Nathaniel was glad when he could finally see the little white house, with the dormer window on the roof. He’d always admired this house ever since he first saw it as a child, back when the original owner lived there.
He slowed the wagon until it rolled to a stop, and he looked over to where Miss Mason was already standing up.
“Thank you for the ride, Mr. Anderson.”
Nathaniel stood, wondering if she would need help down. He didn’t like the idea of letting her just climb down, but it was clear she wasn’t planning on waiting for him to walk around and offer his hand. “Have a good evening. Give my regards to your brother.”
She nodded, already on the ground as she quickly made her way to the door. Nathaniel watched after her, noticing the mud on the bottom of her long, green skirt before she disappeared inside.
With a sigh, he sat back down and focused on the thought of the warm fire he would start when he got home and the dry clothes he could change in to. He also wondered how much mud and water the children had brought into the house when they’d come home from school, and whether they’d thought to clean it up.
Chapter 11
Adelia stood by the stove, where Mrs. Winston glared down at her. “You’re going back.”
“Back where?”
“Back to the orphanage, that’s where,” Mrs. Winston snapped.
Adelia felt the tears instantly rise in her throat, as she dropped the brush she was holding, and it fell to the floor. “But…but no. Please no.”
“You are the most ill-mannered girl I’ve ever seen. Mr. Winston and I adopted you out of the kindness of our hearts so you could have a home, but you have done nothing but mope around and push away everything that we, and this community have tried to give you.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. I won’t do it again.”
“This isn’t something you can just fix, Adelia. This is how you are. How you will always be. Ungrateful, and ill-mannered.”
“But—”
Mrs. Winston shook her head, her forehead wrinkled up. “No. You don’t say thank you when people have given you gifts, you never say Amen when we say grace, and you refuse to get along with my own children. They could’ve been your siblings, but I have to choose my own children over you.”
Adelia felt her knees shaking as she fell to the floor. She had tried to play with Mildred, Mark, and John but they had always teased her, and she couldn’t keep up with them. She didn’t want to go back. She had only been out of the orphanage for two months. She could imagine all the horrible things the other children would say about her.
She felt like everything she’d dreamed of, and then finally had gotten was being torn away from her. And it was her own fault. She had tried to be good and do everything the Winstons and their large group of wealthy friends had asked of her. But she hadn’t been enough. She had never been enough.
You will never be good enough, Adelia. No family will ever want you. You will never have anyone. You will never be good enough.
Adelia sat bolt upright, feeling the sweat running down her back as she tried to get her eyes to focus in the darkness around her. Letting out a sigh, she pulled her fingers through her hair. No matter how hard she tried, she simply couldn’t get away from her past. She wanted to forget it more than anything, but nothing seemed to erase her childhood from her memory.
She had thought moving miles away would help, but the memories still had found a way to follow her.
She knew she needed to find a way to move on. All she wanted was to live the remainder of her life in a simple home, with a place to work, and maybe a few friends eventually. She was worthy of at least that, wasn’t she?
Sighing, she shut her eyes and shook her head lightly. She had made mistakes in her past that had caused people not to like her, but she knew she could change. She could be a better person. She had to be.
Lying back down, Adelia folded her hands over her stomach and forced herself to take three deep breaths before she began counting in her head, hoping it would be enough to lull herself back to sleep.
One, two, three, four, not good enough, five six, unwanted, seven, eight, nine, deal with it, ten.
Adelia stood at the counter looking out at the now barren café which had been completely full twenty minutes ago. With the lunch rush now gone, and everything cleaned up, she made her way back to the kitchen. Mrs. Tiller was sitting at the small table in the back corner with Mr. Tiller in his wheelchair across from her.
“Do you need help with anything back here?”
Mrs. Tiller smiled and stood up. “I was just going to start cutting up some vegetables for the stew tonight, if you want to help with that?”
“Of course.” Adelia nodded, approaching the counter in the middle of the small kitchen where a bag of potatoes was waiting. Locating a knife, she began to slice the skin off. The task became repetitive, and she found her mind wandering to faraway places.
She thought about Timothy, and how upset he’d been when she’d told him about Annie’s death. And she tried to remember the time in her childhood when both her parents were still alive, and she had been with Timothy.
She had only been young when Annie had been born, and her mother had died during childbirth. Still, she had lived with her father, and two siblings up until she was six. She wished she could remember something from that time. Anything to remember her brother as a child. She wondered whether she had gotten along well with him when they were younger. Or perhaps they had bickered and caused trouble all the time.
“Miss Mason? Would you see who just came in?” Mrs. Tiller’s voice pulled Adelia from her thoughts as she quickly looked up from the potato in her hand.
“Oh, sorry. I hadn’t heard the bell.”
Setting the knife and potato down, she wiped her hands on her apron as she hurried out to the dining space where she found Mr. Nathaniel Anderson standing by the cash register.
“Good afternoon, Mr. Anderson. Sorry if I kept you waiting.”
“Oh, I haven’t been here long. I was just hoping to get something for lunch. I know it’s a little later than most people eat, but I was just going through town and—”
Adelia raised her eyebrows, leaning both hands on the counter.
“And, you didn’t really need to know all of that, but yet I bored you with the details of my lunch schedule.” Mr. Anderson shook his head, smiling a little.
“What can I get for you?”
“I’ll just get a ham and cheese sandwich. And a glass of water, please.”
Adelia nodded, reaching to take the money he’d already set on the counter. “I’ll bring it to you in a second.”
She quickly put the money in the register, and when she looked up again, Mr. Anderson was still standing there, his hands in his pockets as he rocked on his feet slightly. He looked like he wanted to say something, and Adelia raised her eyebrows, as his dark brown eyes met hers.
He quickly looked down, though, and shrugged slightly before heading to a table by the window.
Adelia watched after him for a couple of seconds, trying to figure out what he’d been standing there for. Without success, she turned back to the kitchen and willed herself to focus on her work.
&nbs
p; Chapter 12
Nathaniel set his now empty glass down on the table and gazed out at Burchcreek’s early afternoon action. A few people walked along the side of the road, and a man on a horse trotted past.
“I’ll clear the dishes out of your way, Mr. Anderson.”
Nathaniel looked up to where Miss Mason was standing and nodded as he pulled his arms off the table. “Thank you, Miss.”
“Did you need anything else today?” Miss Mason now held the plate in one arm, with the glass balanced on top.
He shook his head, pulling his watch fob from his pocket and checking the time. “No, thank you. I’m just waiting for the children to be finished school since I’m in town anyway.”
She nodded. “All right, have a good rest of your day.”
“Thank you, you, too.” Nathaniel watched after Miss Mason as she made her way back to the counter, and then disappeared behind the swinging kitchen door.
He let out a long breath, shaking his head. He didn’t know why he had come to the café for lunch. He hardly ever came here, but when he’d been driving past, he’d remembered that Miss Mason worked there and that had been enough to make him stop his horses and come inside.
Why the thought of seeing Miss Mason had made him want to come inside, he didn’t know, but he hated the fact that it had. With a sigh, he stood, scraping the chair on the floor as he did.
He had been hungry. That was why he had stopped. Not because of Miss Mason’s presence here. He would’ve come here for lunch even if she didn’t work here. Nathaniel reassured himself of these things as he made his way outside, even though he didn’t completely believe them.
He stood next to the wagon and looked in the direction of the schoolhouse, hoping to see the door open soon. He knew they must be nearly done, so he leaned against the wagon and folded his arms over his chest.
“Good afternoon, Mr. Anderson.”
Nathaniel glanced up and nodded at Mr. Rogers. “Good day, Mr. Rogers. How is the family?”
“Well, thank you, and I trust your family is well also?”
“Yes, very well, thank you.”
Mr. Rogers nodded, and continued walking along the road. Nathaniel watched until he’d gone into the newspaper building across the street.
When the school door opened and children began to file outside, Nathaniel raised his arm to wave as Isabella, George, and Kate came down the steps.
Kate was the first to notice him, and Nathaniel smiled as she pointed toward him, then both Isabella and George turned their heads in his direction.
The children crossed the road, and as they approached, Isabella grinned, her long, blonde hair falling in front of her eyes. “What are you doing in town, Pa?”
“I was going past just before school was dismissed, and I thought I would give you a ride home since I was here.”
“Thank you, Pa.” Kate wrapped her thin arms around his waist, and Nathaniel looked down at her, resting his hand on the middle of her back.
“You’re welcome, dear. Everyone get in the wagon, and we’ll head home.” Nathaniel untied the horses from the hitching post, and quickly climbed up onto the seat, checking all three children were seated safely.
When he was sure they were ready, he faced forward and lifted the reins as the wagon began to slowly roll forward.
Slightly self-consciously, he glanced back in the direction of the café. He hated the fact that he found Miss Mason interesting, and he didn’t understand why. She wasn’t exactly friendly all the time, and she never came to any town gatherings such as church on Sunday.
She stayed to herself, and from what he knew, she’d made friends with no one in her few weeks here. Maybe that’s what made her so interesting. The fact that she seemed quite content with having no one.
Isabella. Nathaniel blinked quickly a few times, feeling his face heat up at the thought of his wife. What is wrong with me?
“Pa? How was your day?” Kate’s soft voice brought him back to the present, and he forced himself to push everything he was feeling away.
Nathaniel smiled. “My day was good, thank you for asking.”
“Do you want to know what I did at recess with Gracie?”
He turned back to where she was sitting right behind his seat, her knees brought up to her chest, and arms wrapped tightly around them. “Of course, I do.”
As Kate went into a long explanation of the game they’d invented, Nathaniel glanced at each of his children, and couldn’t be prouder of the people they’d become.
He didn’t know where he would be without them. They had given him a reason to keep going after Isabella’s passing. His world had felt like it had been torn in two when she’d died, and he never wanted to experience loss like he’d had with her. He didn’t think he could handle losing someone close to him again.
When Kate finished her story, Nathaniel smiled back at her as she looked up at him with her big blue eyes. “That sounds like a fun game, dear. You’ll have to show me it sometime.”
“We could all play it tonight!” She grinned, a strand of her brown hair falling in front of her face.
“We’ll have to see. We have lots of chores to do. But I promise, we’ll play it soon.”
“I love you, Pa.”
He let out a long breath, nodding. “I love you too, dear. All three of you.”
Chapter 13
“I really think you should come.”
Adelia glanced up at her brother from where she was tearing strips of old fabric. “I’ve told you numerous times that I have no interest in going to church.”
“It’s a good way to get to know the community.”
“I have no interest in going to church,” Adelia said sharply, glaring up at him.
He stood by the door, dressed in his Sunday best with his usually shaggy dark hair combed back neatly. He heaved a sigh, furrowing his eyebrows. “I know you’ve not had an easy life, Adelia. And that you’re angry and hurting. I get it. But you’re not the only one who has faced hard times. I’m not saying that my struggles compare to yours, but everyone has faced adversity. You cannot be angry at the entire world for something they had no control over.”
Adelia felt her mouth fall open as the door slammed shut, making her flinch and drop the strip of fabric she’d been holding. She couldn’t believe he’d yelled at her like that. She’d never seen Timothy angry before, and she never wanted to see it again. She remained frozen for a few minutes, the room around her almost seeming to dare her to break the eerie silence.
He’s right. He was right. Everything he said. The words played over and over in her mind as the dampness of tears clung to her face.
“He’s not right. He has no idea. I have every right to feel this way,” she whispered to herself through clenched teeth, glancing at the door again.
I have every right to feel this way. I have every right to feel this way. Adelia stood quickly, the chair tipping backward and falling to the floor with a bang as she rushed to the door. She knew that her pain was valid, but should she really keep punishing the world for what had happened to her? She had been dealt a bad hand, but maybe it wasn’t the fault of the people around her. Nor Timothy’s.
And she didn’t really want to be alone. She wanted friends. But perhaps she was pushing everyone away because she was afraid to get hurt again. All these thoughts raced through her mind as she pulled the door open and ran outside.
“Timothy!” she yelled, continuing to race after the wagon already going down the road. “Timothy! Wait!”
Adelia forced herself to stop running, as she watched the wagon continue without her. She breathed heavily, feeling the tears streaming down her face. She didn’t want to be angry at the world, but she didn’t know how to stop it. Whenever she saw someone with a happy family, and no scars running down their faces, she couldn’t help but be jealous.
She’d instantly wonder why they had been given a better life than her, and she wondered what she had done to deserve it. But she also considered Timot
hy’s words.
I know you’re angry and hurting. But you’re not the only one who has faced hard times.
Adelia knew he was right, and deep down she’d already known this.
But it’s so much easier to be angry and miserable, than to heal what hurt you, and move on. She thought to herself, shaking her head as she sat down on the hard, dirt road and pulled her knees to her chest.
Adelia wanted to get better. She didn’t really know what better was, but she was determined to find it.
First, though, she knew she needed to apologize to many people. The first being her brother.
Adelia stood by the door, looking down at her feet as the sound of footsteps nearing made her heart race.
When the door opened, and Timothy stepped inside, Adelia looked up at him, tears already in her eyes.
“Adel—” he started.
“I’m sorry. I am so sorry. I’ve been a horrible person to you, and to everyone and you don’t deserve it. You were right. Everything you said.” Adelia’s hands were shaking as she reached to wipe away a tear running down the bridge of her nose.
“It’s okay. I was wrong in yelling at you like that. I know you’ve experienced things beyond what I could possibly understand, and I was wrong for making you feel bad about the pain you were feeling.”
“Timothy, no. You were right.” Adelia looked down at her hands. “You were right. I’ve been living in anger and pain because it was easier than moving on and feeling happy. I’m sorry for doing nothing but hurting you while I’ve been here.”
He shook his head, pushing the door shut with his foot. “You haven’t hurt me, Adelia. Please believe me when I say that. When you and Annie were sent away, there wasn’t a day that passed when I didn’t think of you two. When I first got that letter from you, it felt like I was finally getting my family back. My little sister. And when you got here, I instantly wanted to go fight everyone that had hurt you while I wasn’t there to protect you.”
A Chance to Love (Life's a Chance Book 3) Page 4
