by T. K. Leigh
Olivia’s breath caught when she saw a second SUV pull up in back of the one that Carter sat in, Martin sitting behind the wheel. She raised her hand to the glass, desperate to close the gap between her and Alexander, knowing he would be in the car with Martin.
Olivia closed her eyes, picturing him and his smile. His eyes. His arms around her. She thought about how much she loved waking up next to him. How much being in his presence calmed her and made her heart swell. How perfect it felt when she fell asleep in his embrace each night. She slowly opened her eyes.
~~~~~~~~~~
Alexander stared through the rear windows of the SUV at his Olivia, a sad look on her face as she sat in the bay window of her house.
“Sir, do you think she’s going to say yes?” Martin asked, turning to look at his boss.
Alexander saw tears falling down Olivia’s cheeks as she mouthed three words to him, the darkened glass of the car windows acting as a barrier, shielding her from getting hurt after muttering those words.
“Martin, I’d bet my fortune on it. Let’s get back home,” he said after debating whether to go to her, deciding to give her the space she requested. At least for the time being.
A block from Olivia’s house, Alexander noticed the same sedan that had been parked out front of Mo’s house. “Martin, stop here for a minute, please.”
“Is everything okay, sir?”
Alexander wasn’t sure what to think of it, but he could no longer take any chances when it came to Olivia’s safety. There was a very real threat against her life.
“I’m sure it’s nothing. Just give me a minute,” Alexander said, getting out of the SUV and removing the safety on his gun as he crossed the street, looking at the man behind the wheel. He knocked on the window, signaling the occupant to get out of the car.
The man slowly exhaled and opened the door, standing up.
Alexander remained silent for a moment, wishing his eyes were betraying him. He knew that wasn’t the case. “So it’s true then,” he said to the man. “My dad not only faked her death, but yours, as well. Isn’t that right, Jack?”
Nathan Roberts didn’t know what to say. He should have driven away when he saw Alexander approaching, but what good would that do?
He took a deep breath. “What does she know, son?”
“Nothing, Mr. DeLuca,” he replied, placing the safety back on his gun and sliding it into his holster. “She has no idea. I didn’t believe it myself at first.”
“How long have you known it was her?”
Alexander didn’t know whether he should say anything. He had known almost immediately. There were too many coincidences. That was probably why his father hid Olivia away for so many years. Anyone would have eventually been able to put all the pieces together if they were familiar enough with the story.
“Since August.”
“Fuck,” Nathan replied under his breath. “And she has no idea?”
“She’s starting to remember.” Alexander looked at the man standing next to him, remembering all those years ago. He looked the same, albeit with more gray hair. He was tall, almost the same height as Alexander. He had an athletic build and Alexander could see from where Olivia got her smile and skin tone. Olivia’s face, though, she got from her mother.
“Nathan. Call me Nathan. Please.” He looked over his shoulder, fearful someone on the street could have overheard their conversation.
“Sorry.” Alexander looked at Olivia’s father. “Nathan.”
There was a long pause before Alexander spoke again. “She’s been having these dreams, you know. Nightmares, really. She wakes up covered in sweat, screaming. She had a dream the other night about a conversation you and Dad might have had. About faking your deaths?”
Nathan bowed his head. He felt guilty for involving Olivia in the mess that he had created. It wasn’t supposed to be like that, but he felt as if there were no alternatives. Thomas had to fake his death and, in turn, hers. “It had to be done.”
“Why?” Alexander asked, pacing the street. He was losing his grasp on the entire situation. Almost overnight, Olivia’s father had miraculously appeared. Things were spinning out of control, and he couldn’t deal with that. He couldn’t risk losing her. Again.
“I was stupid, Alex. I tried to do the right thing, or what I thought was the right thing. I had a ton of evidence about corruption and ties to terrorist organizations. Some serious shit. I saw all these patterns when I was working at the CIA. I don’t want to get into it now. The less you know, the better. I tried to convince these people to come forward and turn themselves in. These were some very important people, higher-ups in various organizations. I couldn’t tell anyone what I had found. I didn’t know how deep it ran.”
“So why did you have to fake both your deaths?”
“They wanted me dead! And they weren’t going to stop until it happened. I knew something was wrong about a month before that accident. Marilyn got worried and asked for your father’s help. He suggested I turn over the evidence, but I didn’t know who to trust.”
He gazed off into the distance, the memory of that summer difficult to talk about. “A few months before, I placed a bunch of documents in a small locked chest to keep them safe, at least until things died down and I could turn it over to someone that I could trust. Someone I knew would do the right thing. And then the accident happened and I saw an opportunity to save both of our lives so we paid off a doctor and there you go.”
“But why did you have to do that to Olivia?”
“Those documents were still out there, Alex. Those were the days before the internet. You had one copy and that was it. I had the only proof of what was going on, and they weren’t going to stop until my entire family was dead. If I destroyed it myself, these people would never be brought to justice. Then, just before the accident, we picked up chatter to the effect that they would kidnap Livvy and make her lead them to the documents. They knew so much, right down to the fact that everything was locked in a box somewhere.” He let out a quiet sob.
“How could she lead them to something that she didn’t know the location of?” Alexander looked at him suspiciously.
Nathan stayed silent, his eyes meeting Alexander’s, a guilty look spreading across his face.
“She knows?!” Alexander exclaimed. “Were you fucking crazy?!” His eyes grew wide with fury. He was most certainly losing control of the situation. This was so much worse than his father’s letter let on.
“Olivia was so smart for her age, and we were playing our treasure map game. She wanted to create the map for once. She grabbed the box from me and said that once she buried it, she would draw me a map. I agreed before I realized that the chest contained all those documents. By the time it occurred to me, it was too late. She’s the only one who has any idea where it’s buried. And, believe me, I’ve looked everywhere. Our beach house. Our house in Mystic. Her grandparent’s house. The few weeks before the accident, I searched high and low for it. It could be anywhere. I’m a complete fool. You’d think with all my intelligence training that I wouldn’t make such a stupid mistake. But you know how it is when Livvy looks at you with her big brown eyes, so full of hope…you just melt. I’ve regretted that lapse of judgment every day since then. It’s tearing me apart.”
Alexander leaned in to Nathan. “You know they’re after her again! You know that, right?! They found out that Dad was protecting her all those years. They must have tortured him to death. You should have seen his fucking body. But he refused to give out her location so they killed him.”
His voice softened as he thought about Olivia and the difficult life she’d led. “She’s lived most of her life jumping from one city to another and that’s probably the only thing that’s kept her alive since Dad died. But now, Jack,” he hissed. “Now that she’s back, someone figured it out. It didn’t take me long. They want her and I don’t think they’ll stop until they have her.” Alexander felt guilty speaking to Olivia’s father that way, but he couldn’t
help himself. He was having trouble understanding why his father and the man standing next to him did what they did. And he didn’t know if he could ever forgive either of them for ruining a young girl’s life under the guise of protection. But wasn’t he doing the same thing? Wasn’t keeping the truth from her for all those months just as bad?
“I know, Alex,” Jack said, bringing Alexander back from his thoughts. “I understand all of that.”
“I don’t think you do! This is your fucking daughter we’re talking about here. You need to come clean. Find that box and turn it over. Save her life!”
Nathan exhaled loudly. “It’s not that simple. Jacob Kiddish never left any loose ends, and I’m sure he’s taught his son that same lesson. Olivia and me, well…we’re both loose ends.”
“We can protect you both,” he said quietly, his mind racing from what Olivia’s father was saying. “My firm…”
“Alex, it won’t ever end. Not until the people responsible are behind bars. Until then, my life, her life, will always be in danger.” Nathan looked up the street. “I know you love her. You always have. Please. Protect her. Save her from all this. She can’t know about her past or that I’m alive. She can’t know anything about what these people are after. If she knows, she may remember something, and if she remembers and gives these people what they want, she’s as good as dead.” Nathan opened the door to his car. “She may be as good as dead anyway, but at least this way there’s still a chance.” He closed the door and sped off, leaving Alexander standing in the street.
CHAPTER FORTY-NINE
AGAIN
IT WAS THE SAME dream. The crash. The boy with the green eyes pulling Olivia out of the car. The boy getting hit over the head. Olivia’s father shooting the man, then darkness. She heard the voices again. Her uncle and her father arguing. Then nothing. Then brightness. People shining lights in her eyes.
“Hi, princess. It’s me.” She looked to the source of the voice, desperately trying to recognize it, but she couldn’t place it. She didn’t know where she was. She didn’t know who he was. What was going on?
“Where am I?” Olivia squeaked out.
“Oh, dear. You were in a car accident.” The man rushed to her side.
“Where’s Mommy and Daddy?”
“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” She looked at the man. He started crying, tears streaming down his face. “I didn’t get there soon enough.”
“Are they okay? Or did they go to heaven?”
“They’re in heaven, angel.”
Olivia’s lip trembled. She knew that if they were in heaven, she wouldn’t be able to see them for a long time.
“Do you remember anything, princess?”
“I don’t.”
“What’s your name?”
“I can’t remember. I think it started with…I can’t remember,” she said, crying.
“Where do you live?”
Olivia started to get nervous. She couldn’t remember. “I don’t know,” she sobbed.
“It’s okay, dear. Your name is Sarah Olivia Adler. You’re six years old. You live in Charleston, South Carolina, and nothing bad will ever happen to you again.”
“How do you know? Who are you?”
“I’m your Uncle Charles. And I’m going to protect you, always.”
Olivia shot up, breathing heavy, clutching her chest. She scanned her room, looking for some sort of comfort. And then she remembered. Her one source of comfort was gone. She ran out on him after he declared his love for her.
Falling back on her bed, she brought a pillow to her chest. “It’s for the best, right, Nepenthe?” she said to the cat. “I know I love him, but I shouldn’t. And he shouldn’t love me, either.” Nepenthe jumped off the bed, giving Olivia an irritated look. “Oh, don’t you start with me, too. Traitor.” She turned over, her mind racing.
~~~~~~~~~~
“Okay, Livvy, are you ready?” Mo asked toward the end of their second set that Friday night.
Olivia scanned the audience, her gaze meeting those green eyes she saw in her dreams. “Yeah. Let’s do it.” She knew Alexander wouldn’t stay away from MacFadden’s.
“Are you sure, Olivia? I mean, really sure?”
She turned to look at Mo. She hesitated for a second, and he looked at her with a hopeful expression on his face. She recalled the doctor recommending that she express her feelings to Alexander. Olivia was taking her advice and using the best form of expression she knew…music.
“Yes,” she hissed, glaring at him.
Mo’s face dropped before walking back to the microphone to introduce their next number. “Alright, guys. We’ve got another new song for you. Miss Olivia Adler, ladies and gentlemen!”
The crowd cheered as Olivia looked out over the audience. Kiera stood down front and off to the side next to Alexander. Co-conspirators, she thought to herself. Fuck ‘em all. She smiled a little when she saw Melanie and Tyler standing together, his arm draped around her. But then she realized that she wasn’t supposed to be happy. She was supposed to be angry. At what, she couldn’t remember anymore. Angry that Alexander said he loved her? But that didn’t make any sense. None of it did.
“Thanks everyone. This is by a new band that I discovered a few months back called Delta Rae. You should all really check out their new album. It’s fantastic. Anyway, this is If I Loved You.” Olivia looked down at Alexander, his eyes hopeful.
Mo started strumming his guitar. Olivia grabbed the microphone out of the stand and stood center stage, staring into Alexander’s eyes.
He returned her gaze, searching those brown eyes that he had loved his entire life. Her voice was soft and smooth. He listened to the lyrics as she sang about how perfect her life would be if she loved him.
Then the drums kicked in and Olivia began to belt the first chorus, walking over and standing directly in front of Alexander, their eyes never breaking. The words pained Olivia to say, but she had to tell him that she didn’t love him. She couldn’t. Love was too painful. She needed to protect herself so she had to push him away. Again.
Alexander’s heart sank. This song? Why this song? It couldn’t be true. He saw the love in her eyes. She was just scared. It was entirely reasonable to be frightened. She’d loved and lost so early in life.
Olivia sang the second verse, her voice back to being soft and sweet, thinking about all the nights Alexander held her and soothed her tears when she woke up screaming. She felt the love in those moments. Even in that first week together, it was as clear as day. He had loved her since the very beginning.
As she continued singing, trying to convince herself that she didn’t love him, the pain she was in from pulling away from Alexander was etched on her face.
Alexander was certain that she was singing that song to protect herself. It was all she knew. She was scared, but she just didn’t realize how perfect her love, whatever form it came in, was for him.
Olivia’s gaze intensified as she sang the bridge. Her chin quivered, thinking about whether Alexander really was the one for her. Was she making a mistake pushing him away again? She remembered the heartache she felt all those months when he was gone. It was an unbearable pain, and it had retuned over the past few days.
She sang the last verse softly, tears starting to flow down her cheeks. Gazing into Alexander’s green eyes, she saw the hurt spreading across his face. As her voice carried through the bar, she realized the words she sang weren’t true, no matter how much she wanted them to be. She did love him. She knew she did. He made her happy, and she was an idiot for wanting to push him away. Again. Why did she overreact when he told her he loved her? He had sworn time and time again that he would never leave her, and that’s what scared her. She wasn’t scared to love him. She was scared to love and lose him. Olivia didn’t want to lose Alexander again. She loved him more than she had loved anything or anyone.
Her lip trembled and she began sobbing. The room grew silent as she finished the last verse, the band patiently waiting f
or her vocal cue to start the final chorus.
It never came.
Olivia stormed off the stage, crying uncontrollably as she tore down the stairs. She could hear the audience cheering, not knowing that they hadn’t finished the full song. Pushing people out of the way, she made a bee-line outside for some fresh air.
Alexander stood in shock as he watched Olivia storm out of the bar. He turned to Kiera. “What just happened?”
“Looks like she couldn’t finish the song, Alex. Go get her.” She winked.
He quickly turned and ran through the crowded bar, taking the steps two at a time. He saw Olivia run through the front doors and out onto the Boston streets.
“OLIVIA! WAIT!!” Alexander shouted after her as she stomped down the street. The air was cold, chilling her to the bone.
She stopped on the sidewalk at the sound of his voice, refusing to turn around. “Please, love. Please,” he begged.
“What, Alex? What do you want?” Olivia asked, choking the words out through her tears. She crossed her arms over her stomach, trying to keep herself warm. She felt Alexander approach behind her, the familiar electricity present.
“What do I want?!” He grabbed her shoulders, turning her around to face him. “Haven’t I made myself perfectly clear over the past several months?!” He ran his fingers through his hair.
Olivia stared at him, tears streaming down her face as she leaned against the brick building.
He slowly walked up to her and placed his hands on either side of her head, leaning over her. “You, Olivia! I want you!” he exclaimed passionately. “I want you every second of every day. I want the good. I want the bad. I want the sweet. I want the ill-tempered. I want the hot. I want the cold. I want the crazy, irrational, exasperating pain-in-the-ass girl that I love with my entire fucking heart.” He took a deep breath before lowering his voice, the look on his face sincere. “I want the sexy, beautiful woman that makes me whole, Olivia. And I am not going to stop until you admit that you love me. I know you do so stop running from it. You’ve been running from love all your life. It’s standing right here in front of you, embracing you. What are you so scared of?” He stared into her eyes as they searched his, looking for an answer. “What are you scared of, love?” he whispered in her ear.
