Levi throws on a T-shirt and paces the room. I wish we could hold each other, support each other, but I remind myself about Theodora. He is with her, not me. Snap out of it, Emmaline. Focus.
“Maude and I discovered something when we found the holograms,” I tell him. “The keys have had GPS tracking for ages; the old keys were recording our vital signs too. Like our resting heart rates. Data that, if looked at carefully, would reveal your special attributes. I think Ransom knows. I think he’s taking advantage of the Similars with the Huxleys’ help. I think he’s conducting research on them, probably on some sick quest for enhancement or immortality… Levi? Are you listening to me?”
Levi nods. “I knew the others were going somewhere. I noticed Jago slip out a couple of nights, and then I started putting two and two together. But why wouldn’t Ransom want to study me?”
“I know why,” I say carefully. “Only five Similars are being studied because their originals are still alive.”
“And mine is dead,” Levi says.
“Yes. I may be wrong—although I don’t think I am. Ransom wanted the Similars, all of you, here at Darkwood to study you. To compare you to your originals. He’s taking samples or blood or plasma or something with all those tubes and needles, and he’s examining it. Madison and Tessa and Jake, they’ve been giving blood. Probably so Fleischer has a control to compare their blood to. I bet Archer was asked to give blood too. And Pru—well, I don’t know. She’d never agree to that, but maybe Ransom got her blood some other way, without her consent, before the accident.”
“I’m not as useful, then, am I?” Levi says.
“Obviously Ransom still wanted you here at Darkwood. He couldn’t invite your friends and not you…”
There’s a long moment as we both process the gravity of that.
“We have to tell someone,” I say quickly. “This isn’t right. What he’s doing to them is criminal.”
“Not if they’ve agreed to it,” Levi reminds me. “We won’t be able to ask them till tomorrow, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they’d signed away their rights.”
“Why would they do that?” It makes no sense, none at all.
“They have to play Ransom’s game if they want to stay here,” Levi says simply. “And they need to stay here to accomplish their tasks, remember?”
“Tasks that could hurt the originals’ families,” I remind him.
“That depends on how you look at it,” Levi says. “Is it wrong for my friends to want to claim their rightful places in their DNA families? Was it wrong for Maude to defy the Huxleys? Or Theodora to expose a criminal?”
I tense at her name.
“Of course you’d defend her,” I find myself saying, sounding far too antagonistic. “She’s your—whatever she is.”
“I’m not with Theodora.”
“What? Yes, you are. I saw you two…”
“You saw an illusion.”
I study him, those gray eyes. I’ve missed those eyes. First Oliver’s, then his.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I’m sure you won’t explain it, so…”
“I asked her to pretend,” Levi says. I can’t tell if there’s pain in his voice, or sadness. But I cling to his every word. “I asked her to make you think we were dating because I knew that you and I… It wasn’t good for you. Or me. To do what we did.”
“You mean our kiss?”
“I mean all of it.” Levi sighs. “Theodora and I have never been more to each other than close friends. We are like family; we are not what you think. What I made you think.”
My mind is reeling. My throat feels dry. “Then why…?”
“I wanted you to believe we meant something to each other, Thea and I, because at the time I thought it was best for everyone. Do you remember when you first saw me?” Levi asks, the urgency thick in his voice.
“The day I practically attacked you? Yes, it comes to mind.”
“That was the day I fell for you.”
I feel my breathing speed up. The day he what?
“I knew it would never work between us. You are, after all, the only living girl in the universe who will never be able to separate me from the memory of her dead best friend, who she also loved. Can you?”
“I don’t—” I sputter, not even finishing my thought before he interrupts.
“Why did you kiss me that day? Why do you watch me across the dining hall? Why do you want to learn everything there is to know about me and my friends? Is it because I am uniquely interesting to you? Or because I look like him? And if we ever were, well, an us…” There’s an intensity in his eyes that I’ve never seen before. “How could I ever be sure that you loved me for the right reasons?”
I don’t even hesitate. Answering that question is as easy as stating my own name. “Because when I look at you, I don’t see him. Not anymore. I see the person who carried Pru to get help. I see a person who is well read, and athletic, and has no idea how compelling he is. How brilliant, and captivating, and sometimes infuriating. But also kind. I don’t see Oliver. I see that. I see you.”
“Nice speech,” Levi whispers.
“It’s the truth.” I breathe out. “But…”
“What?” he asks, gently taking my hand in his.
“You still lied to me. About Theodora.”
“I’m sorry,” he says, his face dropping. “That was a regrettable mistake, and I hope you can forgive me. There’s no good explanation for it, except that I thought it would be better for me, and for you, if we stayed out of each other’s way. I honored what you asked of me the first time we met. I steered clear of you. Let you live your life.”
“But that’s not what I want anymore,” I say quietly.
“Me either.” He pulls me into his arms and presses his lips to mine. This time when we kiss, it is unbounded, turning every inch of me inside out.
When the kiss is over, I stare into his eyes. I have to say this now. If I don’t, I’ll lose my will.
“Did Maude tell you?” I blurt.
“Tell me what?”
“About Underwood. About your father.”
“I don’t have a father.”
“Your DNA father, then. He is…” I have to tell him. “He’s Gravelle.”
The words hang in the air between us. As soon as I’ve said them, I’m filled with regret. Will anything ever be the same again? Can it be?
“Underwood faked his death. The car crash, it didn’t kill him. Oliver left me a message, in his hologram… He discovered all of this. He wanted me to know. I had to tell you,” I say with conviction. “Maude didn’t want me to. She’s going to be angry at me, furious even. But I can’t keep this from you. Not anymore.”
Levi is quiet for a moment.
“Levi? Please. Say something.”
“I’ve suspected for a while now.” I can tell he’s trying to hide his hurt from me. But he can’t hide it, not entirely.
“You have?”
He nods. “I denied it, for years, because of what it meant. Sharing genes with Gravelle… It would mean that I was the worst of us. The one related to our guardian by blood. The one with an inescapable tie to the man who had kept us isolated all those years. I didn’t want to believe it. But I think I’ve always known.”
He knows. He’s always known. I haven’t ruined his life with this news. “When Oliver left me that note,” I explain, “I was so desperate to understand his message, it never occurred to me that it would affect you too. I’m sorry, Levi. I didn’t want to make your life more complicated. Not that it would be the first time,” I add. “I have a bad habit of ruining people’s lives.”
Levi studies me, and I’m certain he can see past my hardened exterior to the girl inside, the one who was lonely and sad long before Oliver died. He steps back from me, pained. “Why would you say something
like that?”
“Because it’s true, isn’t it?” I shrug. “It’s my fault my mother died. I was sick. I had leukemia. My parents thought I would die; the doctors were sure of it. For a year, my parents went through hell. Chemotherapy, drugs that made me so weak I couldn’t keep my eyes open.
“When I was on the brink of death, my mother couldn’t stand it anymore. She couldn’t cope with the thought of losing me. She had wanted a child so badly. It had taken her years of fertility treatments to conceive. She loved me so much that, in the end, she couldn’t bear to watch me die.” I pause. I’ve never told anyone that except Oliver. “My mother overdosed on pharmas. And then, within weeks of her death, the miracle happened,” I say bitterly. “My father found an experimental treatment in Sweden. Nanobots. He whisked me there against everyone’s advice. And even though the doctors thought the treatment would never work, it did. I survived. Except my mother was already gone. My whole life, I’ve been aware of the irony of my existence. I shouldn’t have lived; she should have. My father’s never been able to stand looking at me because of that. I took her away from him. So that’s it. My whole sad life story. Everyone around me, and I mean everyone, leaves, or dies, or gets attacked in a boathouse. If I were you, I’d watch your back.”
Levi doesn’t answer me. He gently reaches a hand to the small of my back and pulls me toward him. As our bodies merge, I press my lips to his with a hunger that is matched only by his twin desire. And even though there is so much that scares me—Prudence’s safety, whatever Levi’s friends are enduring at the hands of Ransom, the truth behind Oliver’s death—I sink into Levi’s arms, and for a few stolen moments, I allow myself to forget.
* * *
Reeling from the events of the day, I climb into bed. We sat on the floor, Levi and I, and I traced my fingers over his bare arms. Over the spot where that wound healed at warp speed after his dive into Dark Lake. Touching his skin like that, electricity coursed through my veins. I felt supercharged, amped, like every nerve ending in my body had been prodded and awoken. I also felt terrified.
What were we doing? What were we thinking? I’d never kissed a boy like that before. I’d never wanted to. And this boy I used to hate with every fiber of my being, was now the only one I would ever want to kiss. We could stay up all night, every night talking, and it would never be enough. We could never be close enough.
We’d considered it—me staying over in his room. In the end, I left. It went against every impulse I had, and yet I knew it was the right thing to do. What if Jago came back and discovered me there? What if—?
I hadn’t allowed myself think about it.
“Dash,” I whisper, as I slide deep under the covers, still dressed in my jeans and hoodie.
“Yes, Emmaline? Is there something I can assist you with?”
“Oh, you know,” I say, my voice trembling. “Everything.”
I know Dash can’t smile, but I feel the comfort of his presence anyway. “Good night, Emmaline,” are the last words I hear before I drift off to sleep.
The next morning, Levi and I find each other at breakfast. I scan the dining hall for the Similars. They aren’t here.
“Have you seen the others? Did Jago come back last night?”
“Yes, but he was still asleep this morning when I got up. I’ll talk to them,” Levi promises. “About Ransom and the research. I’ll find out why they didn’t tell me…”
“To protect you,” I guess.
“Or to make sure I didn’t try to stop them,” he offers. I nod in understanding. We stand next to each other, but we don’t touch. Whatever closeness we shared last night is outside of this moment, though I’m sure he’s thinking of it as much as I am.
Or maybe he isn’t. Maybe he didn’t dream about me all night, the way I dreamed about him. The thought is sobering. It dawns on me that Levi didn’t grow up like I did, hasn’t attended high school until this year. His declaration of…whatever that was, might not mean the same thing to him that it meant to me.
“Levi,” I say, “I didn’t exactly sleep well last night, after…” My cheeks flush.
“Me either,” he says, his eyes focused on mine.
I could get lost in those gray eyes for good…
I force myself to focus. “I couldn’t stop thinking about Prudence. And her father. Pru’s mom is sick. Really sick. She’s probably going to die soon, and, and…” I pause, willing myself not to cry. “I have to go to Pru. Find her. Bring her home.”
“Emma, I know how much you care about her, but what do you think you’re going to do? You know nothing about Castor Island. How would you even get there?”
“That’s where you come in,” I say quietly. “You have to tell me everything you know about it. Where it is, how to find it, how to get her out.”
“No,” says Levi. “Absolutely not.”
“Excuse me?” I say, wheeling on him.
“It’s too dangerous. You don’t know what that place is like,” Levi says. “What he’s like.”
“What’s the worst thing that could happen?” My eyes are bright with tears now. “Would joining my best friend in death be so terrible if it helped me save another friend?” I meet Levi’s gaze and see the recognition in his face. He gets how serious I am. That I will not, cannot, be persuaded to stand by and do nothing. “This is Pru we’re talking about. Levi—I don’t have a choice.”
“Then I’m coming with you,” he says. “The island is off the grid and Gravelle is dangerous. If you’re going to have any chance of success… You need me. I can get us in. But we’ll need to prepare.”
“Fine,” I relent. “You have two weeks.”
The Journey
Levi is right. I do need him. I’d have no chance of getting to Castor Island without him. It was ridiculous of me to think I could. Still, I worry I’m putting him in danger by asking him to return to his home. I feel the unfairness of it with every atom of my being. I have the privilege, the freedom to leave Darkwood, the state, the country without fear that I’ll arouse suspicion. Levi, as a Similar, enjoys none of that safety. And yet, he’s determined to join me.
Gravelle is twisted, a self-made lunatic, Levi reminds me. And though I feel sick at the thought of putting Levi in more danger with his guardian, part of me thrills that we’ll take this journey together. If I’m heading on a kamikaze mission, I want it to be with him.
We make our plans carefully. We will leave in two weeks, after our next science exam. With prep and study sessions before, our teachers would know something was wrong if we weren’t there. Missing a few classes afterward will be less noticeable, and we need a head start. We don’t want to tip off our teachers too soon.
Levi warns me that anyone who enters the island without Gravelle’s express permission faces consequences. I am nervous but undaunted. Oliver went to Castor Island, and Prudence is there now. She needs us. I buzz Jaeger, leaving a message to tell me if he hears from Prudence. I don’t let on that I’m planning on going after her. I have a feeling he already knows.
Dash finds me the times of the early morning buses out of town. Levi and I plan to walk the three miles to the bus station, then take the most inconspicuous bus to Bar Harbor, where we’ll catch our ferry. We will tell no one besides Maude what we’re planning. We’ll give her our keys to hold, hoping we’ll be long gone before the school, or anyone, realizes we’ve left the Darkwood campus.
Levi and I plot routes and strategies, anticipating what Gravelle might say or do to us when we arrive on the island. We haven’t mentioned our kiss again. It’s like neither of us wants to acknowledge what we said, what we did, for fear the memory of it will burst.
While we plan, Levi confronts his friends. They confirm what I had suspected—that Ransom is behind the research. They agreed to play his game because they felt they had no other choice.
“We have to do something. We can’t l
et Ransom treat them like lab rats. Like specimens,” I tell Levi. It’s late afternoon, and the April landscape is starting to bud as we stand by Dark Lake, staring out at its glassy surface.
“Ransom isn’t well. Maude said he suffers from a host of autoimmune diseases. He’s counting on his research to provide him longevity. A guarantee that he will not die before his time.”
“I still can’t understand why they agreed to it. Why Maude lied to me—”
“She didn’t lie. She kept the truth from you to protect you, Emmaline. What good does it do you to know about this?”
“I can help,” I insist hotly. “I can stop him…”
“And Gravelle too? It’s bad enough you want to travel to Castor Island. You can’t fight Ransom. Leave that to my friends. When the time is right, they’ll expose him. Maude swore to me that ever since they signed Ransom’s waiver, they’ve been planning to take him down. In their own time.”
Though I don’t like staying silent, I do, but only because I don’t know what good it would do to confront Ransom now. Levi and I are focused on the big picture: Gravelle.
It’s a dismal Thursday morning when I grab my small backpack and place the straps securely over my shoulders. I meet Levi outside Cypress. I’ve left Pippa a vague note telling her not to worry about us. I don’t want her to know too much and have to lie to Ransom. Levi and I say little during the walk down the path to the edge of campus, and then to the bus station on the outskirts of town.
Boarding and finding seats next to each other on the self-driving bus, we look like any other teens setting out on a road trip. Only we aren’t enjoying the view of the Vermont countryside as it rolls past our window—we have work to do. Levi pulls out a tablet and begins sketching a map of the island, as much as he can piece together from memory. Using an app that allows him to configure hallways, doors, and windows, he puts together a sophisticated blueprint and talks me through it. I don’t have to lean far to see it, sandwiched together as we are in our cramped seats.
The Similars Page 24
