by Annie West
Finally, tentatively, he shifted his weight, only to feel her hands clutch tighter as if she couldn’t bear the separation.
He understood the feeling. They hovered in a cushioned cloud of ecstasy.
Yet as the thought rose, so did others. Jake remembered the sheer perfection of losing himself in her intimate heat, pulsing hard and unfettered.
Because he hadn’t used a condom.
The realisation cramped his gut and foreboding feathered his spine.
Jake closed his eyes, silently cursing his loss of control. It had never happened before and he’d believed it never would. How had it happened? Because Caro Rivage was a sexy siren who drove men out of their minds?
He breathed deep, inhaling the smell of sex and woman. To his amazement, despite the shock of his dangerous behaviour, Jake found it arousing.
Was this how she’d got pregnant with Ariane? Driving some poor sod crazy with desire so he forgot to take basic precautions?
No. Jake wasn’t such a poor excuse for a man. He’d acted of his own volition. It had been his responsibility as much as Caro’s to think about safe sex. He’d failed. For the first time in his life he’d let his libido conquer common sense. He despised himself for that.
Drawing a deep breath, he withdrew, clenching his teeth and shutting his eyes at the tormenting friction against sensitive skin.
If he wasn’t careful he’d be ready to go another round with her and make exactly the same mistake. Even now he was tempted to forget everything but the need to bury himself in Caro’s lush body and take them both to heaven again.
Which was why his movements were quick as he yanked up his underwear and trousers. He didn’t trust his control when they were skin on skin.
Control? He grimaced. He had none around this woman.
The sooner he put a distance between them, the better. Sex with the enemy was a mistake. One she’d hope to exploit in her favour. Best he set her straight immediately. Jake opened his eyes and his mouth at the same time but what he saw stopped the scathing words he was trying to form.
Instead he cursed under his breath.
For Princess Carolina hadn’t moved. She sat, tiara at a tipsy angle in that dark red hair, cheeks hectic with a blush that spilled all the way down her throat and covered her trembling breasts. Her hands were clamped, white knuckled, to the edge of the carved wood where she perched and her shoulders bowed forward as if in defeat.
Despite the temptation of those perfect breasts, it was her expression that compelled his attention. Lines of pain gathered around her mouth and furrowed her forehead. Worse, glittering tear tracks spilled down both cheeks.
He’d hurt her.
She’d conned him and led him on. But he’d hurt her, and the sight of her pain made him feel wrong inside.
* * *
Caro closed her eyes, just for a second. Then she’d be strong. Then she’d pick herself up and face what had to be faced as she’d always done. Because there was no alternative. She was alone, always had been, with no champion but herself. She didn’t have the luxury of weakness.
But when she’d seen Jake grimace...
There’d been no mistaking his disgust, the shudder of distaste as he pulled away. Disgust at what he’d done. Disgust at her. Because she’d lied and because he’d given in to the raging need for sexual completion that had sprung up between them like a clawing beast.
There’d been nothing civilised about their coupling. It had been raw and intense, fulfilling a primitive need that was beyond her limited experience. Sex with her ex-boyfriend had been pleasant but not compulsive. Caro didn’t understand the desperate woman who’d invited, gloried in being shoved onto an antique chest and taken without finesse or preamble.
It didn’t matter. What mattered was that Caro had loved it. Had exulted in being ravished with such urgent thoroughness, eager for Jake in that visceral way as if she’d waited for him her entire life.
It had been glorious. He’d been glorious and made her feel special, strong, wonderful.
Until he realised what he’d done and hated himself. As he hated her. He’d stuffed himself back into his trousers so fast she guessed he feared she might touch him again. As if her touch tainted.
She recalled the ugly words he’d shot at her like bullets from a gun.
A great shudder built behind Caro’s ribs in the vicinity of her heart. It curled round to her spine then up to her skull and down to her pelvis. Finally, mastering herself, she swallowed, put her shoulders back and forced her eyes open.
To find a grey gaze surveying her with what looked like concern. Something skimmed her cheek. She jumped then realised it was Jake’s hand.
Caro leaned back. She should pull up her bodice, she realised as she registered her unfettered breasts and the discomfort of the boned bodice pushing them high. But her hands were too unsteady. Besides, he wasn’t looking at her bare breasts but her face.
‘You’re crying.’
‘Rubbish.’ She turned her head away and began to wrestle with her dress when gentle fingers brushed her cheek again and she felt the smear of wetness there.
Caro stilled. Blinked.
Horror slammed into her. Bad enough to see his distaste, but to have him witness her distress was mortifying. This was the second time she’d cried in front of him. She, who’d spent years burying her emotions!
‘I was rough. I hurt you.’ Jake’s voice sounded different, not the familiar mellow rumble that tickled her insides but taut and scratchy.
‘You didn’t hurt me.’ Caro looked down, focusing on the bodice she couldn’t tug up. Probably because she was sitting on the dress, holding it down. Desperately she shifted her weight, trying to drag the skirt higher so the bodice would move.
‘Then why are you crying?’
‘I’m not!’ The tears must have escaped earlier.
Instead of moving away, Jake confounded her by capturing her chin in his broad palm and lifting it so she had to look him in the face.
‘You looked like you were in pain.’
Of course she did. No woman wanted to be abhorred. But Caro couldn’t bring herself to say that. The pain was still there but she masked it as she’d learned to mask so much.
‘You’re wrong. I’m fine.’
Except for the anguish deep inside. And the other, disturbing sensation that urged her to lean into his touch and ask for more, as if she had no pride.
Those pale eyes were intent. ‘If you weren’t in pain, why did you cry?’
Caro shrugged. ‘It was an intense experience. It surprised me.’
She waited for him to say something offhand or derogatory. Instead she thought she saw a glimmer of understanding in his face. Until his next words.
‘Not because we had unsafe sex?’
It was like being smacked in the face. Her head reared back in disbelief. She gave up struggling with her dress and wrapped her arms protectively around her chest, as if to ward off his words. But, pressing her thighs together, feeling the wetness, she realised it was true.
How could she not have given it a thought? With Mike she’d been the one to insist on safe sex, despite his protests. It had been like fate laughing at her to discover she was pregnant, given the precautions they’d taken.
Her eyes locked with Jake’s and she read her surprise reflected back. And more. Something that again, fleetingly, looked like understanding.
‘I’m safe,’ he said. ‘You won’t get any health problems from me.’
Except a possible pregnancy.
Caro bit her lips rather than blurt the words. Her first accidental pregnancy showed she was, or had been, very fertile. Her mind boggled at the idea of another baby. Jake’s.
His forehead creased as watched her. ‘This is where you’re supposed to say you’re clean too.’
‘I’m clean too.’
‘You don’t sound very convincing.’
Probably because she was still stuck on the possibility of pregnancy. If it could happen once...
‘How many lovers have you had lately?’
Caro frowned, his terse tone penetrating the fog of shock. ‘None.’ Then, when he lifted his eyebrows in disbelief, ‘Well, one, but years ago. When I got pregnant.’
For long moments nothing moved except her blood pumping and the unsteady rise of her chest with a new breath. Jake looked as if he’d been turned into a statue. A frowning, disbelieving statue.
‘You’re telling me you’ve only had one lover?’ At least his voice wasn’t starkly accusing, but his disbelief tore at her self-respect.
She hiked her chin higher, profoundly glad that her crossed arms covered her bare breasts.
‘Is that a crime? I don’t ask how many you’ve had. I take your word that you’re...clean.’ She was lucky she was too, given what she’d discovered about Mike’s lifestyle.
‘What about the wild parties that made the headlines? The drugs and sex that made your father bring you home?’
Cold shivered through Caro. ‘You know about that? You really are super-efficient, aren’t you?’
Jake’s shoulders lifted. ‘I employ Neil for his efficiency.’
Nausea curdled her insides. She thought she might actually be ill. Bad enough that Jake, who despised her, thought the worst. Somehow the idea of Neil, the quiet, funny man who had treated her with such kindness, believing the press reports made her feel like vomiting.
‘It wasn’t true,’ she said finally, her strangled voice not her own.
‘Sorry?’
Anger rose and she was glad. Anything was better than feeling defeated and miserable. Caro stiffened her spine and met his gaze proudly. ‘The stories weren’t true. My boyfriend, Mike, was the one who partied to excess and took drugs, though I didn’t know about the drugs till later.’
‘How very convenient.’ His mouth curled and suddenly Caro had had enough.
Ignoring the need to cover herself she put both hands to his chest and pushed. He was physically stronger but eventually he stepped back, leaving her free to slide off the high chest onto her feet. Caro gritted her teeth, her clammy hands slippery on the silk as she tried to right her dress. But the bodice refused to rise.
‘Let me.’ A big hand covered her shoulder, turning her. Before she knew it he’d lowered the zip of her dress.
‘Stop that! I don’t want—’
‘Try again now that the dress is loose.’
He was right. She hadn’t been thinking clearly. Of course it was easier without the bodice tight around her middle. This time the material rose easily and she sighed in relief.
A second later the zip rose and with it the touch of Jake’s fingers on her back. Fire sizzled from there, loosening her spine and her resolve. Did she imagine his touch lingered then slid into a caress?
Setting her jaw, Caro stepped away, almost crying out at the loss of his touch. It made no sense. His distaste should have cured her of any attraction yet to her shame she still longed for Jake Maynard.
‘It’s time we talked.’ To her surprise his tone had lost that harsh, hurtful edge.
She glanced at the time, realising in horror that they’d been away from the ball longer than she’d imagined.
‘I should go back.’
Then she caught their reflection in the mirror on the far wall. Jake looked stern but attractive, the only sign of their carnal interlude his sexily rumpled hair and missing bow tie. Already he’d done up his shirt.
She, on the other hand, looked utterly...wanton. Her lips were swollen, her hair a mess and her designer dress suggestively crushed.
‘If you show up looking like that you’ll create a scandal.’ He might have read her mind.
‘If I go back wearing something else it will be just as bad.’ She lifted a hand to the tiara listing to one side. She wanted to take it off but it was secured with scores of pins and her fingers shook.
Caro was damned no matter what she did.
‘Father will be livid.’
To her surprise the thought, instead of making her feel worse, lifted her spirits. She hadn’t set out to cause a scandal at her brother’s party. From Paul’s expression since she’d returned to St Ancilla he had too much on his mind to worry about gossip. His would be an arranged marriage but Caro suspected it wasn’t a happy arrangement. However, the idea of annoying her father, childish as it was, pleased her. She still hadn’t had the opportunity to confront him alone about stealing her baby.
Caro swung around to Jake Maynard. The man who’d once been so warm and kind. The man who’d been so cruel that remembering his words slashed at her soul. The man who was her enemy. And her lover.
The man she wished would sweep her up in his arms and take her back to that rapturous place she’d known for such a short time. At least now he wasn’t sniping at her. He was ready to listen.
‘You’re right.’ She felt the weight slide from her shoulders. ‘It’s time I told you everything.’
CHAPTER ELEVEN
SHE SWITCHED ON a lamp and its mellow light turned her into a mediaeval illumination with her rich auburn hair, violet-blue eyes and deep purple gown.
Jake sat on an armchair opposite and reminded himself not to trust her. Just because she made his pulse hammer with longing, because her mix of defiance and melancholy twisted him inside out, didn’t mean he could relax his guard.
Yet it was hard to reconcile the woman who’d clung to him as if he were her whole world with the scheming liar he knew her to be.
He ignored the treacherous urge to sit with her on the sofa. This time he’d think with his head, not another part of his body.
‘How did you change your hair, your eyes?’ It wasn’t the most important question but he still wasn’t accustomed to her flagrantly exquisite colouring.
She looked like a painting by an old master brought to life. Except the memory of her toned, surprisingly strong body was vivid. This woman was no delicate work of art. She was bold and so alive his skin tingled being close to her.
Because you still want her. Despite everything.
Their eyes locked. Jake’s pulse thudded.
‘Coloured contacts and a rinse. I visited a hairdresser in St Ancilla to get me back to my natural hair colour for this week. The rinse wouldn’t have lasted anyway and that would have given me away. But I was impatient to see Ariane.’ Her mouth crinkled in a moue of self-derision. ‘When I finally discovered where she was I couldn’t wait. I acted rashly, but I had to see her as soon as possible.’
She shrugged and Jake was surprised at how the simple movement of bare shoulders could so entice. He jerked his gaze back to her face but Caro wasn’t looking at him. Her eyes were fixed in the distance.
‘What was the plan? To snatch her?’
Now Caro looked at him, her face full of astonishment. An act?
‘I’d never do anything like that. Apart from anything else, Ariane just lost the only parents she knew.’ Did he imagine her voice wobbled on the word ‘parents’? ‘She’s struggling to cope with the changes in her life. Kidnapping her...’ Caro shook her head, staring as if he were the one at fault. ‘She needs stability, not more trauma.’
Caro drew a deep breath. He watched as she sat straighter, chin up, hands loose in her lap. With the movement she became more regal, more untouchable. He fought the urge to go over there and reduce her to the desperate lover she’d been minutes ago. Sexual awareness still thickened the atmosphere and his body was taut and eager.
‘I acted on impulse applying for the job. My lawyer advised me to wait before confronting you. And I thought if I told you the truth you wouldn’t let me see her.’
Jake’s hackles rose. There, she finally admitted it.
‘You plan to claim
Ariane.’ Bitterness filled his mouth.
‘She’s my daughter.’
Caro spoke quietly but with a pride Jake couldn’t mistake. Nor did he miss the sparkle in her eyes.
Just as well he’d taken the precaution of increasing his niece’s security. He hadn’t brought her to St Ancilla. He didn’t trust this woman’s royal relations not to twist the law in their own country and rip Ariane from him.
He shook his head. ‘You gave up your rights to her when you abandoned her.’
Despite her wounded look he didn’t hide his disdain. He abhorred mothers who deserted their children.
‘Let’s get one thing straight.’ Jake leaned forward, his hands fisted on his knees. ‘You’re not Ariane’s mother. My sister was. She and her husband were the ones who sat up with her through the night as a baby. Who suffered the sleepless nights. Who played with her and loved her and taught her everything she knows. Not you. It never will be you. Not while I’ve got breath in my body.’
* * *
Jake’s words were arrows, piercing her heart. Reminders of all she’d missed. All she hadn’t been able to give her daughter.
Would Ariane ever forgive her for that?
Caro swallowed convulsively, ignoring the blistering pain as the acid of his hatred penetrated. How could she have given herself to a man who despised her?
Yet even on opposing sides, Caro felt that trembling awareness that was always present around Jake. Shame engulfed her. Even now she couldn’t conquer her yearning.
‘It wasn’t like that. I didn’t abandon her.’ Caro drew a shuddering breath. ‘She was taken from me.’
Jake lifted his eyebrows in disbelief.
Finally he spoke. ‘They still believe in fairy tales here? You’ll have to do better than that, Princess Carolina.’ She hated the sneering way he said her name. ‘No one could take your child unless you wanted it gone. You were an adult, a mother. You had responsibilities. So did your lover. Yet you both gave her up.’
His words echoed the guilt that dogged her in the darkest hours. The shame, the belief that somehow she should have intuited the truth and stopped them taking her baby.
