by Quinn, Taryn
“Is that what we’ve been doing?” He set down his bags and the bear on the coffee table and crouched down beside me to poke at the fire with a poker. “What are these papers in here?” He pried out the corner of one that hadn’t burned fully yet and frowned over his shoulder at me. “You tossed out your tracking charts? What happened?”
“I got my period, that’s what happened. And I don’t want to get my hopes up every month. Even worse, I don’t want to get your hopes up. You’re bringing home bears for the nursery, for heaven’s sake.”
“No, I brought that bear home for you. I knew you’d gotten your period because of the day and because you asked for Chinese. You always do that on the first day.”
“You know when I get my period?”
He nodded as if I was slightly slow. Which I was, because I’d dragged him into every part of my reproductive cycle. He’d just been paying more attention than I gave him credit for.
I never gave him enough credit.
“So, you knew I had my period, so you brought me Chinese and a bear.” I shifted my sitting position so Latte could climb onto my lap. I cuddled him close, burying my face in his soft fur.
With him, I’d never open my mouth and shove in both feet and both hands.
Probably.
“Don’t forget the ice cream that’s melting on the coffee table.” Murphy smiled and set down the scrap of paper he’d retrieved. “The bear’s name is Sir Mix A Lot, by the way. I was hoping he could watch us have sex tonight.”
A laugh spilled out of me, the sound so loud that Latte’s huge brown eyes grew wide before he dove off my lap. “You’ve developed a thing for grumpy women on the rag?”
“I’ve had a thing for this woman for forever, and that’s what the shower is for.” He scooped a hand over my wet hair. “Though you’ve been enjoying it without me.”
“Not like that.” I sighed and turned my face into his hand. “Why are you so good to me?”
“Because I love you, Veronica.” His throat moved, the firelight flickering over his tense features. Tension I’d put there. “I should’ve said it before now. Maybe then you wouldn’t be torturing yourself.”
“Oh, God.” His words caused me to bury my face in my hands. “I love you too.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
Gently, he pried my hands away from my face. “Can you say that while you’re not hiding?”
I smiled and reached up to cradle his jaw. “I love you, Fortress. So much. And I think it’s made me nuts, or more nuts, because I’m so determined for us to have this little picture-perfect family, and that was never your dream anyway, it was mine. But you’ve given me literally every other thing I’ve ever wanted. I guess I’m getting greedy by thinking I can have this too.”
“You’re all I ever wanted. Just you. You and Latte,” he added, who barked, probably hoping his name would lead to the proffering of a treat despite the fact he’d just had dinner. “I would love for us to have a baby. Or three babies. Because I love you, and I want you to be happy. Not because I need them for us to be complete. We’re that already, aren’t we?”
“Yes.” I nodded, my eyes filling. “I just want you to have everything too.”
“There’s no baby that could be more everything for me than you are.” He took my hand, kissing my fingertips. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”
Latte barked again, and Murphy laughed as he glanced at the dog. “You too, buddy.”
We both were quiet for a moment, staring into the fire.
“We never know what will happen. We don’t,” Murphy repeated, squeezing my hand. “But if in a few years, we decide we want to expand if it hasn’t happened yet, we can always adopt.”
“Yeah. There are so many kids that need families. That would be a blessing to them, and us. Even if we had our own, maybe we could.”
He nodded, smiling at me. “We can do anything we want to. We can always make a way.”
“You’re right. I don’t know what I was getting so worked up about.”
“Me either. Since I got worked up when you said we’d been fooling ourselves, and I thought you were going to say you didn’t need me if there was no kid.”
“What?” Genuinely shocked, I stared at the side of his face. “How could you think that?”
“Maybe because you’re not the only one who feels like they’ve failed. And that’s just insane. We’ve been trying for a couple of months. We aren’t even married yet.”
“M-married?” Even with as traditional as Murphy was, that word made my vocal cords seize up. “Us?”
Mainly because I’d never hoped that big in my life.
“Stranger things have happened.” He rubbed his thumb over my knuckles.
“That we’re sitting here at all is strange in the very best way, considering how we got here.” I gave him a soft push and he fell out of his crouch back onto his ass. I straddled his lap and wrapped my arms around his neck. “I could never want anything more than I want this right here. You and me and…the dog,” I whispered, darting a glance to where Latte had finally fallen asleep, head on his bone.
Even with his eyes closed, Latte cocked an ear.
“I could never ask for more, but I do.”
“So do I. I’d love to have a baby with you. But I’d also love to keep right on practicing, just for the hell of it.”
I smiled and tipped my forehead to his. “Me too.”
“We don’t know what the future holds. I just know I want to keep holding onto you.” He wrapped his arms tightly around my waist, fitting us together as if we were meant to slide together just that way. Puzzle pieces that locked just right.
“And I’ll keep holding onto you.” I glanced over his shoulder at the bear watching us innocuously from the coffee table. “But we might have to work up to the bear thing.”
Twenty
Goodtothelastdrop: It’s okay if you’re late. I’m working late shift at the café. See you later tonight. I love you. Wow, it still feels weird to say. Weird and wonderful. Love, Vee.
I wasn’t exactly lying to her.
Nor would I ever lie.
But she didn’t need to know exactly what I was doing. The fact that she even had to question if I loved her enough to be happy without a baby made this little trip into Rochester even more important. Juggling my schedule and hers to find a time for me to sneak away was like herding feral cats.
My passenger side door opened, and Gideon’s bearded face ducked in enough to show me just how annoyed he was. “Why am I here?”
“Just get in.”
He sighed. “My one day off in a month and you want to go shopping? Dude, you have a girlfriend for these things.”
“Soon to be fiancée.”
“Oh, shit. Another one bites the dust.” Gideon climbed in and gave a little grunt when I took off before he even got his seatbelt on. “What’s the freaking rush?”
“We’re heading to Rochester.”
“God, why?”
“Jeweler friend.”
“Let me out.”
I laughed. “I’m already nervous enough, give me a break.”
Gideon slouched down in his seat—as much as a six-foot-three guy could anyway. “You suck. This is the kind of thing you drag your sister to do, not your best friend.”
“I cannot deal with Maddie today. She’ll hit me with a barrage of questions and squeals. Have you ever heard how high-pitched a seventeen-year-old girl can be?”
Gideon gave me a bland stare.
“Right. Sorry.”
Not many people knew Gideon had a seven-year-old daughter. He kept that part of his life private. An ugly divorce had left him gun-shy about introducing people to Dani and that included people he dated. Not that he dated much. It was one of the reasons we got on so well. We understood the need for a solitary lifestyle.
Gideon could turn on the charm for customers, but when they were gone, he was work first, talk later.
And that quiet steadiness was exactly what I needed right now. I was usually the steady one, but I was freaking the fuck out.
Gideon tapped his fingers on the door handle. “Marrying her? You sure about that? Was that part of the contract?”
“I never should have told you about it.”
“Hey, I get it. Having a kid is awesome. Hard work, but awesome. But marrying her? Sure about that?”
“Yes.”
“Decisive answer. I like it.”
“Was that a test or something?”
“Maybe. I asked Jessica on a whim.”
I turned down the radio. Gideon didn’t talk about his ex much. “I assumed it was because of Dani.”
“Nah. We were wild for each other. But not the right kind of wild. It was sex and adrenaline. We had shit-all in common. Once I started getting paraded around to her famous friends, I should have gotten out. That wasn’t the life for me.”
“Everything about Veronica fits me.”
“Then I guess we’re getting a ring today.”
I nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I am. I could have gotten her a ring the first week. I just knew.”
“Then you’re one of the lucky ones, pal. For me, everything is about Dani and that’s the way it needs to stay.” Gideon looked out the window.
Talk about a decisive statement. The rest of the trip was quiet. Classic rock filled in for the lack of conversation. I didn’t know what was up with Gideon lately, but I knew something was bothering him. He’d spill it after he figured it out.
The one thing women didn’t understand about guys was that we didn’t want to talk it out. We wanted to figure it out, then fix the problem.
And right now, I was going to fix mine by making sure Veronica knew I wanted marriage and babies if they happened. But the most important part was marriage. That I wanted her forever, no matter what.
I rolled up to the family-run jeweler that my father used for my mother. Every Christmas, we went in and got her a little something. It was tradition. A good one that I intended on keeping.
We strode up the walkway to the store. Gideon was walking slower than usual with his hands fisted in his pockets. I held the door for him. “Still pouting?”
“I hate shopping.”
“Look at it this way, you can get Dani’s birthday present while you’re here. Shopping all done.”
“She’s seven,” he grumbled.
“And little girls love to have something special.” A statuesque blond came out from behind the glass case.
Gideon glowered and took a spot near the wall just inside.
“Murphy,” she said warmly and kissed my cheek. “I was surprised you called. It’s not like you to come in after November.”
“I know.” I rubbed my palms down my thighs. “Bit of a special request.”
“I pulled out all my favorites based on what you told me about your special woman.”
“You’re a lifesaver, Cara.”
“We love all the Mastersons. Especially since you each choose such special pieces.” She held her arm out. “Come this way and we’ll find something perfect for her.”
Two hours later, I was sitting in the chair deciding between the final two rings. Cara had wandered over to see Gideon and had finally gotten him to actually look at the dainty necklaces made for little girls. He had one wrapped up in a sparkly unicorn bag before I could even get mine done.
Bastard.
In the end, we both walked out with little bags.
The car ride back was just as quiet, except this time it was me who was pensive. The ring was important of course. But this was Veronica. She didn’t care about jewelry or the sparkly things most women did. She had one necklace she wore, but it was more because it was a gift from Macy when she’d graduated from pastry school.
“Where’s that restaurant place we use?”
Gideon gave me a look. “Just outside of Laurel.”
“We’ve got one more stop.”
“Dare I ask? Are you going to put the ring on a cookie sheet or something? Bake it in a pie?”
“Fuck off.”
Gideon smirked. “You two are weird.” He pulled his phone out. “Good thing I specialize in weird.”
No, I wasn’t going to freaking bake a pie. That was her wheelhouse. But I could make sure she had everything she ever needed to start a life with me. Including a kitchen befitting a master baker.
Unfortunately, shopping for large appliances was a bit trickier. They didn’t exactly have them in the back to take home, no matter what size truck I had.
Thankfully, Gideon knew everyone, and it got me an in with the supplier. We cut a few corners and bypassed the showroom slick lights and salesmen. Instead, we went right to the source. The owner of the supply store managed to pull some strings and get what I needed rerouted to the store.
We backed my truck up to the loading dock and met Matt on the platform.
Gideon jumped out and extended an arm. “Thanks, man. This crazy idiot had a wild hair and I knew you were just the man to help us pull it off.”
Matt lifted up his hat and scratched his mostly bald head. “Gotta say this is a first for me. It’s usually a wedding present, not an engagement gift.”
I climbed up on the platform and peeked into the cardboard protection. “My girl is a pastry chef.”
“Well, that makes a little more sense. All I know is if I brought a double-wide refrigerator home, I’d be spending a lifetime riding the couch.”
“If I know my girl, that won’t be the case for me.”
“You say so.”
I shook Matt’s hand. “Thanks so much.”
With the help of a pallet jack, the three of us managed to get it into my truck.
Once we got back on the road—and after I bribed Gideon with a burger as big as his hand—he finally relaxed enough to lighten up. He popped a fry into his mouth. “You know this means we have to use Lucky to get it into your garage.”
“Crap.”
Gideon laughed. “Your scheme has holes. Not my fault.”
“Yeah. Well, hell.” I stabbed my display and found his number. The phone rang through the speakers of my truck.
“Yo.”
“Want to make a quick hundred?” I asked.
“Depends. Does it require clothes? And do I get baked goods?”
I don’t know what it was about Lucky, but he made me want to smash my fist into his teeth. Maybe because he reminded me of my brothers too much.
It’s for the greater good.
It’s for Veronica.
To make Veronica happy.
The chant evened me out. “I need to move a fridge.”
“Oh. Yeah, no problem. I still require baked goods.”
“Handy for you, Veronica made a fresh batch of chocolate croissants last night.”
“Man, you might not even have to pay me if I get all of them.”
“Deal.”
“Wait, I said might.”
“Nope. Meet you at my cabin.” I hung up.
Gideon laughed. “I don’t know what it is about this girl, but she’s good for you. I guess marrying her isn’t the worst idea in the world.”
“Damn straight.”
She made me a better man in every way. And I was going to spend the rest of my life proving it to her.
Half an hour later, I pulled up my drive to find Lucky and my dog cozying up like they were long lost pals. I stepped out, my boots crunching on the gravel. I squinted at Latte. “Traitor.”
“I can’t help it if everyone likes me except you, Moose.”
“I don’t dislike you,” I growled.
“It’s okay. I thought it was because I’m naturally loved, and you were jealous.”
“God, no.”
Lucky lifted the dog up into the air and made little kissy faces at his scruffy little face. “Nope. It’s just because I was snuggling up to your girl. I told you it was because I wanted to turn the screws, but really, it was because she’s the perf
ect girl.”
I curled my fingers into fists at my sides.
“For you.” Lucky set Latte down to scamper off to chase the squirrels. “That girl is too sweet for me.”
My fists relaxed.
“I’m happy for you, man. Not to mention she makes us bomb-ass lunches since you guys got together.” He slapped my shoulder. “So, let’s get this beast off the truck and get you a wife.”
Gideon laughed and released the tie-down. “You’re something, Lucky. Good thing Murph is so easygoing.”
Murph.
More and more people were calling me that because of Veronica. Not the big, silent Moose who was clumsy and awkward.
Not the lonely guy in a cabin anymore.
Between the three of us, we muscled the fridge into the back of my garage. I pulled out the slats of ash I’d been working on for the last few weeks. I’d wanted to do a remodel of the cabin the more time I spent with Veronica.
This was just the final step I needed to stop thinking about it and actually do it.
For her.
To change my life so it was ours, not just mine.
“Dude, you are so whipped.” Lucky wiped his brow with his forearm. It might’ve been the tail-end of January, but we’d all worked up a sweat moving the industrial appliance off the truck.
I opened the refrigerator door and put the little black box on the top shelf, then closed the door and set the rainbow-stained wood against the stainless-steel monster. “Yep.”
“Now what about those chocolate bits of heaven?”
I laughed. “How about a beer with them?”
Lucky nodded. “That sounds like a plan to me.”
The three of us polished off a six-pack of beer and Lucky cleared out the leftovers in my regular fridge. He took Gideon home for me and I put my nervy ass in the shower.
Maybe I wasn’t doing enough.
Maybe the fridge and a new addition to my—our—cabin wouldn’t excite her much.
I scrubbed a layer of skin off before I calmed down enough to get out of the shower. Then I stared into my closet. Should I dress up, so she knew something was up? It seemed like an asshole move to wear the track pants I normally did when we were hanging out at night.
