by Tessa Anders
Deep down, I knew that Arkin wanted to find a sacred bondmate. His eyes would linger on Tyran and Amelia when he thought no one was watching.
I sighed heavily. “Let’s go.” Our apartment was housed three floors underground. We headed up the stairs to the Consideration Room for an endless day of females streaming in and out, hoping for a chance to be chosen as a wife. This would be my first visit. Up until now, I had attended daily meetings and had managed to avoid this tedious process.
Back when all this started, I knew that Tyran was happy. It was written on his face, noted in the way his eyes were always seeking Amelia. But after watching my mother grieve after father passed away, after carrying the responsibility of my family on my shoulders, I didn’t need nor desire a female. I enjoyed my freedom, to take to the sky when I checked the boundary or needed the wind on my face as power coursed through my veins.
I took each slow step toward the consideration room, wanting nothing more than to return home and run my business. But this was part of the agreement.
Neither female, Ms. Steinburg nor Ms. McKinney, ever explained how the ratio between the two sexes became unbalanced. Perhaps their scientist was still working on figuring out what could have happened.
As we entered, I noticed the beautiful women that filled out unnecessary forms. It was more for consent than anything else. Whispering, I asked, “How can you tell them apart?”
Arkin’s eyes hardened with a quick glare. “I do not understand you brother.” I wanted to grin. Arkin loved to look at beautiful females, and loved the idea of finding a bondmate for himself. However, glancing around, no one here caught my attention.
“I am going to scope out the prospects,” Arkin said before trotting off for a closer look.
How could all those females want to be paired with someone they didn’t know? Maybe the situation in the Human Realm was more dire than we were led to believe. I should have negotiated a better deal for my company, but didn’t want to seem greedy.
Standing against the wall next to an artificial tree that smelled of chemicals, I watched as female after female filled out an application.
Strange how people from two different realms all sought the same connection. I understood the concept but I had also witnessed the aftermath when a bondmate died.
As a Kirzun, we had trouble trusting anyone besides our family. With father gone, killed years ago in a conflict with the Deracons, there was only me, my mother, and my two brothers. Since his death, an uneasy truce was signed into law. But lately, the Deracons had been pushing the boundaries and I didn’t know how much longer peace would last.
Lost in thought, I almost missed the strange female with auburn hair and blue tips. Her wild colored clothes screamed for attention, making anyone take notice. So different from the pale colored outfits most of the women from this realm seemed to prefer.
She stood behind a blonde female looking out of place and uncomfortable, sometimes looking at the questionnaire and speaking softly to her friend. The subtle annoyance that would cross her face, the way she gazed at the other females, spoke of her uneasiness. No, she didn’t want to be here at all. My lips tugged upward; I felt the same way.
She didn’t fill out any forms, didn’t glance around trying to spot one of the eligible men. She just waited behind her friend, only looking at the other females. After a few minutes, she whispered something and bolted across the floor, weaving around the wooden tables.
Desire sparked, and without thinking, I stepped in front of her, blocking the path. “May I help you?”
Beautiful brown eyes lifted to mine. Pale skin, a splatter of small brown dots across her nose and cheeks. Plump red lips that made me want to reach out and caresses them. To see if they were as soft as they looked. She smelled like a waterfall crashing into moss covered rocks. She smelled like home.
My drata stirred, telling me that she could possibly be my mate. Not meaning to, I reached out and touched her shoulder.
An electric current shot from the female, waking everything inside my body. Feelings sparked to life. My cock hardened to a painful state, only made worse by those tight pants that humans called clothes. Desire flared and I wanted to shove her against the wall and thrust inside her, make her submit and scream my name. My drata almost demanded it. All this arousal brought on by this oddly dressed human who barely reached my shoulders.
No! I closed my eyes, trying to remember how to breath. I squashed down my desire by curbing this blazing desire shooting through my body. I didn’t want a mate! And yet, her she stood. Right in front of me.
My hands balled into fists and I wanted to pound the wall. Why me? There were so many of my people looking for the perfect mate.
As one of the few dragon shifters, my family ruled our sector of the shifter realm. Females begged for my attention.
My heart pounded as I held in my growl and tamped down my drata, the dragon inside that was now awake and alert, trying to take over and demand I take her as ours.
No!
Staring into her scared brown eyes, they widened before she dashed away in a hurry, leaving me unable to move.
A moment later, Arkin saddled up beside me looking worried. “Are you well?”
My mouth clamped shut as my chest heaved. Fighting the need to chase the tiny female and claim her as mine, I turned away. “I am fine.” I lied through gritted teeth. But how could I tell Arkin about the churning, chaotic emotions that I could barely control? The anger, the desire as my cock throbbed, demanding that I find the female, sink deep inside her and never let her out of my bed.
Taking a deep breath, I blew it out in a hiss, keeping the fire from escaping my nostrils. The human officials knew about our other side, at least in theory, though some seemed skeptical. Hopefully this feeling would disappear with the female out of sight.
It did not.
I took my position near the chemical smelling tree, trying to forget the female and her odd clothing, her enticing smell that demanded that I go after her. Logic told me to stay here and oversee the selection process.
I watched females come and go, some giving seductive smiles, but my mind wouldn’t focus as I relived meeting her over and over. My agitation increased as the day droned on.
That night, while in my one-bedroom apartment, I paced. My heart pounded double-time while my cock still throbbed. Shucking off the uncomfortable pants, I took it in hand, stroking up and down while applying the right amount of pressure, thinking of the strange female with blue-tipped hair.
I roared my release as it spurted across the room. And yet, my cock did not soften.
Grrr… I wanted to take to the sky and release the excess adrenaline, exhaust myself until I could no longer think. Why was this happening to me?
Shedding my clothes, I stalked up the steps and into the crisp night air. Stretching my arms, the magic swirled until my drata took my place. Soaring into the sky, I searched for her until weariness drained my energy. I headed back, landing softly on the pavement and heading back down to my apartment.
Crawling into bed, I tossed and turned all night. Her brown eyes begged me to find her, my drata demanded that I go after her even though we had already searched. And then reality hit full force. I was not a savior. How could I possibly take care of someone I did not want?
Hour after hour passed, and by morning, I had to fight the desire to hunt down the female and give into the bondmate connection. But how could I? After everything that happened, everything I had already overcome. I did not want to go back there again.
Standing with my hands clasped together at father’s gravesite, watching my mother on her knees while she wailed in grief, something broke inside of me. All my life, my mother had been a rock for her family but the loss of bondmate brought her to her knees. Maybe even lower.
Leaning down, I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and helped her to stand. She turned her face into my chest, her tears soaked through my shirt.
Glancing over at Tyran and Arkin, I
instantly knew that being the elder son now made me responsible for our family. It was a weight I wasn’t equipped to handle but still had to bear. One I swore I would never carry again if I could help it.
Alex
“Have you changed your mind?”
I glanced at Jessie, who divided her attention between me and the road. “What?” I asked.
“You’ve been quiet since we left the applications building. Have you changed your mind? I can easily whip this car around, take you to fill out your own application.”
She looked expectant, almost hopeful. “No,” I shook my head. “Just thinking.”
“About what?”
“If I have anything in the fridge for dinner tonight or if I need to stop by the grocery store.”
A grin tipped Jessie’s mouth. “Liar. Admit it, you were a little interested in those oh so yummy aliens.”
One eyebrow shot upward. “Oh so yummy? What are they, food?”
“I’m sure you could eat…”
“Stop!”
Jessie chuckled, then focused on driving.
You would think at twenty-two, I would be able to talk about sex. And it’s not that I was a prude without needs. Every red-blooded person had needs, unless you were a nun. And sex definitely happened because I was no Virgin Mary. Momma made sure to tell me how terrible I was often enough for me to know.
At least I still had my romance books so I knew the concept of sex and foreplay. I also hand a good hand and a vibrator that I wasn’t afraid to use. Okay, I worried the vibrator was too loud and would wake my daughter so I mostly used my hand.
Since that one night, there’s been no one, nada, and I knew it was because of my jaded impression of the male species. That, and the unbalanced ratio between men and women. Was it right to label all men as a worthless piece of shit? Nope. I knew that. Trouble was, how did I weed out the bad ones? And there were plenty of those. I certainly didn’t want to be on trashy day-time television just so I could hear what I already suspected. ‘Damien, you are the father.’ But I didn’t know if Damien was the father, and I didn’t have the means to prove anything. And to be honest, I didn’t want to. I wanted to forget about the entire incident and move on.
“What are you grinning about?” Jessie asked.
“Do you think nuns think about sex?”
“Hold up!” She said as she threw her hand up in the air. “I can’t talk about going down on a hunky guy but we can talk about nuns and their sex life?”
“That’s different.”
“Tell me how, Alex?”
My eyes slid sideways only to see Jessie with a huge grin taking up half of her face.
“For starters, I don’t know these said nuns so I can’t really picture them having sex or…”
“Say it!” Jessie laughed, “sucking someone’s dick!”
“Shut up!” I chuckled even though my cheeks burned bright red.
“You are so easy,” her laugh died to amusement. “About nuns. Of course they think about sex, everyone does. But nuns probably feel guilty for thinking such vile thoughts,” she giggled.
Whipping into a spot at the ice cream shop, Jessie threw the car into park and shut off the ignition. I unclicked the seat belt.
Jessie turned in her seat. Uh oh, the look on her face screamed watch out! Serious talk ahead!
“Look, Alex,” she sagged her shoulders. “I know you don’t trust men, but you really need to get back out there, join the dating force…”
“Dating force?” My eyebrows shot up. “You make it sound like a club or something.”
“Or something. There’s a ton of us out there looking for Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome who will serve us dinner in bed and then mop the floor, after giving the best orgasm ever!” She giggled when my eyebrows shot even higher. “Seriously, Alex, don’t you want someone to share your life with? Warm your bed at night?”
“It’s not that I don’t want someone…”
I just didn’t want to look for that special one of a kind nonexistent person and take the chance on getting hurt, only to repeat the process all over again—like laundry.
“Agh!” Jessie slapped the steering wheel. “I wish I could have two minutes alone with Damien. Just two minutes! I swear Alex, I don’t know why you didn’t call the cops on him.”
Looking away, I smiled, but more of a sad, don’t remind me kind of way. “You know why I didn’t. But I should have.” Facing Jessie again, I sighed. “I’ll think about it. Ok? That’s all I can promise.”
She held my gaze, assessing, then nodded. “Give Maddie a kiss for me.”
“Will do.” I hopped out of the car, slamming the door shut before heading to my rusted-out Honda Accord. It used to be red in the prime of its life, but now it barely got me where I needed to go. Best $500 I ever spent and all I could afford at the time.
Opening the door, I slid into the torn vinyl seat, yanked the seatbelt over my shoulder, clicking into place then started my baby up. After about three times, it chugged and sputtered to life. I shifted into drive and putt-putted down the street.
It had been a strange day and some part of me—a part I mostly ignored—wanted me to march back to that applications building and find the gorgeous man with the hard body, sexy voice and frosty eyes. Grimacing at the memory, he probably wondered why I was there among the beautiful. It didn’t matter anyway. Good things never happened on my time and Maddie was waiting for me to pick her up from the babysitter. If you could call Frankie that.
Driving past a few fast-food joints, a laundry mat, the park that I often took Maddie to visit, I turned right a half a mile later into a parking space and stared at the rundown brick apartment complex. It would be nice to have someone move Maddie and me away from this dump, but then what? Scoffing, I knew I’d be exchanging one impossible situation for another. Stay with what you know, Alex, stay with what you know.
Heading to the stairwell, I stepped around a broken beer bottle and tried to avoid some brown thick blob, probably tobacco spit.
“Hey, Kyle.” Occupying the bottom step, the forty-something-year-old junkie barely nodded as his stringy brown hair concealed his bent face. Clearly, he was tripping at the moment.
Climbing the next set of steps, the second story landing sported a used condom in the corner. Nice, I grimaced before heading to the third-floor landing.
Knocking on door 303, Frankie, my red-headed babysitter answered with a cigarette dangling from the corner of her mouth.
“Alex, you’re late again.” Her cigarette bounced up and down with each word.
“Sorry, Frankie.”
She blew a stream of smoke from her nose, then sighed. “It’s a good thing I like that damn kid of yours.” Then she turned in the doorway, yelling. “Maddie, your mama’s here!”
“Mommy!” Maddie squealed as she bounded out the door and jumped into my arms, throwing her arms around my neck and kissing my cheek.
“Hey pumpkin,” I kissed her back. “Have a good time?”
“Yeah!” She grinned ear to ear. “Frankie told her dumbass boyfriend to get the hell out and not come back or she’d kick his ass. He got mad and stomped away. Then came back. Wanted his fruckin stuff. Frankie throwed it at him.”
I grimaced at Maddie’s language. At least she had mispronounced one word. “Frankie, I really appreciate you taking care of Maddie, but can you try not to cuss around her?”
She didn’t look sheepish at all when she replied, “Yeah, yeah, sure. I can do that. Unless that dumbass Ricky comes by again. He’s a real bastard that somehow brings out the worst in me.”
I sighed, then lowered Maddie from my hip until her feet hit concrete. When the babysitter was free, and after numerous attempts trying to correct language, which never worked for long, I finally accepted that this was my reality. A free babysitter and a filthy-mouthed but witty daughter.
“Thanks Frankie. Same time tomorrow?”
“Sure kid. I’ll be here.”
With Maddie’s h
and in mine, we turned and faced apartment 305 as I fumbled with the keys. Pushing open the door, the smell of Pine-Sol greeted me as we stepped inside. Our apartment may not be in the best area, but there was no reason not to keep it as clean as possible, especially when you're raising a four-year-old daughter.
Maddie headed over and flopped down on the couch as I hung my keys up by the front door.
“What would you like for dinner?”
Maddie’s eyes lifted as a smile bloomed on her face. “Mac and cheese!” she squealed.
“You are going to turn into macaroni,” I teased, as I tickled her, making her giggle. Heading to the pantry, I opened the door and eyed our meager supplies. Three boxes of mac and cheese, two cans of chicken, a few cans of various vegetables, and a box of crackers. I needed to visit the store soon.
While Maddie pulled out her coloring books and crayons, I prepared dinner.
Carrying two plates to the coffee table, Maddie moved her coloring book to the side.
“Mmm,” she sniffed. “Mac and cheese!”
“You have to eat your chicken and crackers too.”
“I will.”
“What did you and Frankie do today? Besides throw her boyfriend out?”
“Watch TV.” Maddie licked the cheese that dripped from her fork onto her hand.
“You watched TV all day?”
“Uh huh, and made brownies.”
“Did you eat anything besides brownies today?”
“Yup, tater chips. The salty kind.”
I sighed. “Okay, finish eating and I’ll run you a bath.”
“Bubble?” Her eyebrows lifted in wishful thinking.
“Yes, bubble.” Maddie started cramming food into her mouth. “Slow down! You’re going to choke.”
I might not be able to afford cable or internet, but bubble baths and coloring books were something I made sure to splurge on.
“Finished!” She jumped up, almost knocking her plate in the floor.
I laughed at her excitement as she pattered behind me to the tiny bathroom. With the smell of cigarette smoke lingering on Maddie’s clothes and in her hair, nighttime baths were a required routine. Adjusting the temperature of the water and pouring in a capful of bubble soap, Maddie tore off her clothes in a hurry and sloshed inside the tub. Her squeals of delight brought a smile to my face.
