by Tessa Anders
“We were outside around a fire. Someone must have drugged my drink. I woke up hours later, all alone and naked from the waist down. Bruises on my inner thighs…”
I fought my inner rage and forced my breathing to remain calm. “What happened after—” I let it hang.
She shrugged. “No much. I dressed, but I only found one shoe. I walked home and cleaned the kitchen like I was supposed to.”
“And—”
The way she told the story—she didn’t feel mad over it. It made me really wonder how often Alex had to endure humiliation because she seemed accustomed to it. From the clothes she wore, the non-existent food supply, and yet she took it all in stride. My respect for her skyrocketed.
Changing the subject, she continued with our game. Although it felt like so much more now.
“I think you’ve had more than one question so it’s my turn. What happened to you that made you not want a mate?”
I thought I had control, but it was difficult to switch directions when my emotions felt volatile. Swallowing, I blinked and refocused on her question.
“My father died before I had entered into adulthood. I had to step up, take control of the company. To do so, I had to assert my authority, but I also needed to prove myself to everyone. Respect is earned—not freely given. So, I worked nonstop, expanded the company.” I grinned, “invented a portal so I could expand trade to other realms. I never wanted a mate because I didn’t want to have to answer to someone. I worked all the time, had sex when I wanted—”
“Bullshit,” she said, leaning back in her chair. “You forget, I can tell that you’re lying. Not only can I feel it, I’ve become pretty good at reading people.”
I chuckled while holding her intense assessing eyes. It made me nervous. Nobody had been able to penetrate my hard exterior, but she was breaking down all the barriers.
The smile died as the past came to the forefront.
‘Blaktu’n, you need to take control of the company before one of the board members steals it out from under you.’ Jaison, my father’s oldest friend and mentor said.
‘I don’t know how to run a company Jaison.’
‘I will teach you but unfortunately, we do not have time on our side. You will have to become ruthless, make people afraid of crossing you.’ When I hunched under his harsh demeanor, he grabbed my shoulders giving them a hard shake. ‘Listen to my son, I understand that you are only eighteen years old but your mother is counting on you. Your brothers are counting on you and so are the members of this company.’
Mother, it had only been two weeks since my father died, and every day I had to make her eat, make her live because I could not lose someone else.
My brothers were no help at all. They acted out, almost becoming criminals themselves as they tried to deal with their own grief.
Standing in front of Jaison, I realized that I had to hold the family together while providing for them. It was a large burden to carry. It was also the reason I never wanted that responsibly again.
“I like my freedom.”
“And now, are you really ready to be tied to a ball and chain?”
My lips twitched. I loved the fire in her eyes, the way her brown hair caressed her face and flowed over her shoulder. “I’m tied up in knots. Still unsure about anything, and yet I can’t get you off my mind.”
She snorted unladylike. “Same.”
Jessie came barreling through the door, stopping next to the table. “Are you almost finished? I’ve been waiting outside so long, people are staring.”
Still holding Alex’s gaze, I said absently to her friend. “You may leave. I will see Alex home.”
Alex was shaking her head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“I think we need to give this fresh start a chance.”
“Fresh start huh?” Alex arched an eyebrow.
“Yes. Everything started all wrong. I wasn’t looking for a mate. You weren’t looking for a mate and yet, here we are.” Two scarred people unable to fully commit to anything. “What do you say?”
Alex chewed on her lower lip and after a few beats, Jessie intervened, making a decision for her. “Sounds super to me. See ya Alex. Call me tomorrow. Or tonight.” And then she waltzed right out the door.
When the door closed, I nodded that direction. “Is she always like that?”
“Jessie? Yeah. She does what she wants. Lately, I’ve been her mission for some reason.”
I could understand why. The more I knew the more I wanted to help Alex too.
13
____________________
Alex
Can you say speed dating? That’s exactly what this felt like. Speed dating 101. All we needed now was a small candlelit table with dim overhead lighting.
But it had cleared the air somewhat. I could see why Black wouldn’t want a mate. Taking care of a family was a huge responsibility and I could almost see not wanting to fall back into that kind of pressure.
“Back to you.” He said. “You walked home and cleaned?”
If I could erase that entire night and the following months from my memory, I would. But talking about it only brough it back into focus. I remembered it as though it happened yesterday.
A month after defying mother and going to the bonfire, I missed my period. Still, I waited as I lied to myself. Maybe it’s the stress, I thought. Yeah, that must be it. That had to be it. And then another month and no period. Standing in front of a mirror, I lifted my shirt and stared at my belly. Turning one way, and then the other. Still flat. Not that it made me feel better. But if I were pregnant, surely my belly would be a little bigger. Right?
I’ll never forget the look on mother’s face when I sat at the table, picking at my food.
It was seven-thirty in the morning. I’d just came through the house, my backpack slung over my shoulder when she announced that she had made breakfast. Why? She never made breakfast. She was rarely home and when she was, she was sleeping. I’d fended for myself for years. Plopping down at the small round four-person table, opposite mother, I pushed the food around with a fork while trying not to throw up. But the smell! I didn’t want to tell her that her cooking sucked. That maybe the food had spoiled. Can eggs go bad? Apparently.
With a fork poised at her lips, she froze, eyes narrowed as she said, “you’re not eating.” Was that a question? I don’t think so.
“Not very hungry,” I said, not meeting her eyes. She tilted her head, a question on the tip of her tongue when I abruptly scrapped the chair back and ran for the bathroom.
I was on my knees, heaving when I felt mother standing in the doorway. I didn’t have to look at her to know she had her arms crossed, disapproval covering her face.
Wiping my mouth, I finally glanced up. She looked angry. Angrier than I’d ever seen her. I’m surprised fire didn’t shoot from her eyes.
“Alexann, what did you do?”
“Nothing mom.” But was that true?
I remembered wanting to go a party with my friend Pauline. She was a cheerleader and I…I just wanted to be part of the group, to be a cheerleader, to know what it felt like to be popular.
Jessie warned me about them but—stupid stupid stupid! I still felt like the biggest naïve fool for falling for their games.
Two weeks leading up to the big bonfire, Pauline and the ‘squad’ had befriended me. Invited me to sit with them at the popular table. There weren’t many boys in school, but the few that were there sat with them.
“You’re coming Friday night? Right Alex?” Pauline asked, a smile tugging her lips.
“You have to come,” Dani whined a little, her eyes glinting with mischief.
Damien, the tall dark drink of water leaned in and whispered, “you can be my date. Would you like that?”
I swallowed hard and stammered, “y…yes.” Mother never let me do anything and I really wanted to go.
I hadn’t asked permission, I simply got dressed and started for the door. I thought she had alr
eady left for work when she caught me sneaking out. “Where do you think you’re going?”
I stopped mid-step and turned. “To a party.”
She sighed, “Alexann, you know I don’t allow that. Now go change. Those dishes won’t wash themselves.”
Neither does the laundry, the dusting, sweeping and mopping, I do that. Not her. Me! Because mother, AKA Josie Robins, either goes to one of her part time jobs, goes out drinking with her ‘friends,’ or invites some asshole over for a night of sex. Loud sex! I wish our apartment didn’t have paper thin walls.
“It’s just for one night. I promise I’ll clean the dishes when I get home.”
“No.”
“But mom, Damien…”
“I said NO!” Her steely eyes pierced me with contempt. “I’ve told you, boys are nothing but trouble. Do you think I wanted a fucking baby at sixteen? No. So you can stay here with your legs closed. I’ve got one more year and then you’re on your own. Now go change and get started on the dishes.”
It pissed me off that she thought I was the promiscuous one but unless I wanted to be backhanded again, I kept my lips zipped.
Twenty minutes later, she left for work.
Everything from that moment on felt like a blur with missing pieces. I remember Damien picking me up in his red Toyota Tacoma. When I shut the door, he leaned in and kissed me with a promise of good things yet to come. He smelled of sandalwood and spearmint gum. Butterflies filled my stomach as tingles made my knees a little weak. Sitting around the bonfire, everyone laughing, Damien had his arm around my shoulder as he passed me the bottle. I took a swig, coughed, then took another.
Dancing…
And then…waking up in the dead of night. The bonfire now smoldering embers, completely alone, and my head pounding. At first, I wondered why they left me even if I did have too much to drink. A cool breeze blew, and I froze…my pants were hanging around one ankle, my panties ripped. Bruises marred my thighs and down there burned. NO! NO! NO!
I rolled to the side, fumbling as I tried to grab my jeans, and ended up throwing up. Wiping my mouth, I finally managed to pull my jeans on. It hurt. With the moon high in the sky and no streetlights nearby, I could only see one shoe, so I picked it up and started the long walk of shame barefooted, finally making it home two hours later. Mother was still at work, thank God! As sick as I felt, I still had to take a shower and clean the kitchen because if she ever found out what had happened, she would beat me.
The next day at school, I endured all the snickers and snide comments. Jessie drifted up beside me. “What happened?” she hissed under her breath.
“Not here.”
She grabbed my sleeve and pulled me into the bathroom. Checking the stalls to make sure we were alone, she propped a hand on the door so nobody could shove it open. “What happed Alex?”
I spilled everything. Every last humiliating detail as fat tears rolled down my face.
(Fast Forward)
Three months later mother bought a pregnancy test. When the two pink lines appeared, she sneered, called me a whore and tried to drag me to the clinic for an abortion.
When I refused, she threw me out at seventeen. Said she wasn’t paying for another damn mouth to feed.
I scoffed thinking how absurd it sounded to simply walk home and do the dishes. “Yes. And it was all I could do to finish before mother came home.”
“Did you tell her? Go to the police?”
“No. Mother told me not to go to the party and I defied her and went anyway. I couldn’t imagine what she would do to me, so I kept my mouth shut.”
“Did you ever find out who—” he stopped mid-sentence, but I knew what he wanted to know.
I felt his rage on my behalf, which made it easier to talk. Jessie had been my only emotional support for as long as I could remember.
“No. The next day, none of the people I thought were my friends would talk to me. Not even Damien. And then one day I had morning sickness. Mom knew right away and forced me to take a pregnancy test. It was positive so she threw me out. Jessie’s family took me in and helped me until I turned eighteen. And here we are.” I smiled, hoping he wouldn’t feel any of my loneliness leak through the bond.
“And you’re not sure if your daughter—”
“Maddie. Short for Madeleine.”
“And you’re not sure who her father is?”
“No. There was another guy there, and based on Maddie’s coloring, she could also be his.”
“Have you had sex with anyone else since the one incident you can’t remember?”
I smirked, looking at the table. “Yes, with you.” He blew out a slow breath.
“Were you able to finish your schooling?”
Pink tinged my cheeks. I could feel the heat in my face “Jessie’s parents help me study and take my GED so that’s something. As far as college, I always wanted to go at least to community college. I could’ve taken out loans or something, but…all that changed.”
“What did you want to do?”
I smiled. “I actually wanted to get a business degree. I work for Dara, but one day I want to own a small shop. Not sell dresses, but something. I’ve always loved looking a jewelry and dreaming.”
Black
My heart clenched. I had this overwhelming need to protect both Alex, and her daughter. To hunt down everyone who ever hurt them. Including that mother of hers. Who abandons their child in a time of vulnerability?
Staring into her dancing eyes, I surprised myself when I asked, “Can I meet Maddie?”
She cocked her head to the side, studying me. If she tried, she could feel my sincerity through the bond.
“You know, I planned to go to the gathering tonight, give you a piece of my mind. I wanted to make you feel as bad as you made me feel. And even though we’ve somewhat cleared the air, I don’t think I can let you into Maddie’s life.”
“I will not disappear again.”
She snorted. “That is yet to be seen.” After a few beats of silence, she added, “you wanted to put me up like a mistress.”
“That was when we didn’t know each other. When I didn’t want a mate and you didn’t want a husband.”
“And now?”
There comes a point in everyone’s life when you must humble yourself. Deep inside, I knew that my answer would be the turning point, the deciding factor for the way we would proceed afterwards. Meeting her eyes and holding her gaze, “I will not live without you and your daughter.”
She snorted. “You don’t even know her.”
“Then introduce me.”
Studying me, she finally sighed. “If I do let you meet her, you are just an acquaintance, nothing more. I will not get her hopes up or elude to anything other than you’re just a friend stopping by the house.”
That was better than no. “Very well.”
Standing, I held out my hand. She hesitated and then placed hers in mine and let me pull her to standing. Electricity pulsed where we touched.
Walking outside, everyone stopped and stared at the two of us. Alex ignored them which also spoke of her ability to not let things bother her. “Where’s your car?” she asked. And then, “wait. Do you drive?”
“No. I don’t. Come on. Tonight, you’re riding my way.”
“Really, because you’re leading me around the building, and it feels like an intro to a really bad horror movie.”
I fought back a smile as I tugged her along. Standing behind the building, I cupped her face and ducked my head so we were eye to eye. “Do not scream.”
She hit my chest. “Don’t ever take a woman behind a dark building and start with ‘don’t scream.’ What the hell is wrong with you?”
I laughed at her spitfire attitude. “I promise not to hurt you.”
“Again, that’s a terrible thing to say.”
Giving up on explanations, I took several steps back so I could pull off my clothes. “We are going to fly home.”
She snorted again. I loved her natural
responses. Alex didn’t care about correctness.
Moving about thirty feet back, Alex chewed on her lower lip again as I held out my arms. “Remember, do not panic. When I change, just climb on my back. I promise, I will not let anything happen to you.”
And then I shifted.
Alex screamed! Stumbled back and couple of steps and fell flat on her ass. I lowered to my belly and waited.
14
___________________
Alex
I wasn’t sure if I had forgiven Black, but at least we were talking, being honest with one another. I even felt comfortable enough to tell him about Maddie’s conception.
He had a point about Maddie. I sort of sprung her on him. But still, did I want him to meet her? Hmmm. She did have a way about her and could usually wrap anyone around her little finger.
Heading around back, Black stripped out of his clothes. I instantly grew wet with want. My emotions were all muddled into a big pile of shit. I wanted to be pissed at him, but this bond made me feel crazy things like shoving him down and having my way with him.
And then he asked me not to panic.
I screamed while trying to get away. Instead, I fell on my ass. He laid down on his belly and I swallowed my fear. A dragon replaced Black. I never would have believed it in a million years. But there he laid.
I stood on wobbly legs and carefully walked over. Blue and silver scales covered his entire body, shimmering under the moonlit sky. A magical majestic creature that had to reach twenty feet tall while standing. His silver wings were folded at his sides.
“Black?” I asked, tiptoeing carefully.
He snorted.
Amazing! Now I felt bad for doubting him. Carefully, I stepped up in front of him and stroked his snout. Staring into those bright blue eyes, I did a snort laugh. Those were the eyes that broke through the frost. So bright and vibrant. It was his dragon.
