by Kim Nash
‘When I look back at our relationship, Ruth, I was unhappy for so long and since we split up I feel like I’ve really found myself again. I’ve realised that I have a right to be happy and I’ve actually been happier on my own than when we were together. I hate the times when I’m not with Archie but I’ve learned to accept them and fill that time with things for me. I’ve worked out that I’d rather be alone and happy than in a relationship and miserable. Life is just too damn short.
‘I hope he is more settled with Lorraine,’ Grace continued, trying to forget the fact that Mark had said he would dump Lorraine if Grace would only take him back. ‘I don’t want him to be unhappy and I clearly wasn’t making him happy but it’s taken me till now to realise that some people don’t even know what happiness means to them, so how can they possibly achieve it if they don’t know what they’re looking for?’
‘You’re so right, Grace, I know a lot of people who seem to have the perfect life but they’re constantly searching for something or someone better. Has there been anyone else since Mark, if you don’t mind me asking?’
‘I don’t mind you asking at all. There hasn’t. I’ve not felt like I’ve needed anyone in my life up to now, and until I met Vinnie, there was no one that I’ve felt really drawn to. Does that sound a bit soppy?’
‘I’m a big believer in fate, Grace, and that people come into your life at the exact time and for the exact reason that they are meant to. I really hope that’s what’s happening with you and Vinnie. You may have gathered by now that I love him to bits even if he is a pain in the neck from time to time,’ she laughed. ‘Working here, I do a lot of people-watching and I’m very observant, I’ll have you know. I notice that when you speak about Mark, you seem to shrink inside yourself yet when we talk about Vinnie your whole face lights up and you smile from ear to ear, and that fills my heart with joy and warmth. Now the other thing that warms my heart, but sadly ends up on my backside, is cake, and I have cake galore, which needs eating up, before I throw it out. Let me bring some over.’
‘Oh dear, that’s not going to help when I go to fat club later! But it’s cake and I’d rarely say no to cake, although I did decline earlier.’ Grace groaned. ‘I hate fat club but I need to go.’
‘Why do you go if you hate it?’ Ruth asked.
‘I need to lose some weight and this seems to be the only way I can do it, although the woman who runs the group is a nightmare. I’d love to set up my own group but it’s knowing where to have it and how to do it. Just a little dream of mine. I’d love to do a meals-on-wheels-type service, too, for people who are working but would love home-cooked food which follows the fat club principles but haven’t got the time or ingredients to do their own. Perhaps it should be called something to do with laziness! I’d love to run a book club as well. But that’ll have to wait till I get my dream bookshop. Perhaps I can do my fat club there. I have too many ideas running around in my head all the time. It’s why I don’t sleep well.’ She laughed.
Ruth looked thoughtful. ‘You could always do it here. With me.’
‘Well, to be honest, when I came in the other week, I came because I was looking to find a venue,’ Grace replied, delighted that her little daydream might actually come true.
‘Well here is perfect, isn’t it? My café is closed at five p.m. at night. You could do a fat club here. There’s plenty of room and maybe those who came would come back as customers at other times, so it would be good for my business too. And I’m a trained nutritionist and chef. I’m bloody wasted here.’ She laughed. ‘Let’s do it together, Grace! Life is too short not to grab opportunities as they come up. I’ve been looking at different ways to get new customers and didn’t think of your idea. It’s genius. There’s times in the day that I have nothing to do and I’m just twiddling my thumbs waiting for customers to come in. I could be in the kitchen cooking up some of these meals if you give me the recipes. Then people can order and either pick them up or we could eventually even do a delivery service. Between us, we could really make this work!’ said Ruth, clapping her hands with excitement.
‘I think people would bloody love it. They can have a cuppa for free when they get here, then pay for any additional food or drinks. Oh, Grace, I love this idea. Please say we can do it.’
Grace laughed. ‘I’d really love it, Ruth. Are you sure, though? We’ve only just met really.’
‘We have but I have a really good feeling about you, Grace. I like you a lot and even if things don’t work out with you and Vinnie, I’d like to think that we could be good friends. And this is a great idea. I’d love to be a part of it.’
Ruth glanced over to the counter, where a big queue was forming, and jumped to her feet. ‘I could sit here and talk to you all day, Grace, but the daggers that Beth is throwing at me tells me it’s time my coffee break is over! Can we talk about it soon and get some dates in the diary? This is going to be great, Grace, I just know it. Let me bring you another coffee over and you can get your notepad and pen out. I know you don’t go anywhere without them, Vinnie told me! You can put your thoughts down and we can discuss them later.’
Grace sat and smiled and got out her latest hand-stitched notebook and her fountain pen. Apart from her stationery fetish she was a big journal writer and had recently started to write a gratitude journal again. This was something she had always done as a child, but when she was with Mark, he ridiculed her and dismissed it, saying that all the ‘hippy shit’ was addling her brain and she needed to get in the real world.
She once bought a yearly book where she could write down all her goals and dreams, and Mark just laughed at her and threw it away, saying that she hadn’t the time to follow her goals and dreams as she had him and Archie to look after. So once again, to keep the peace, she’d stopped keeping her journals. One of the best things about being single and following her own whims was being able to start up her gratitude journal again and work out her goals and desires, without someone trying to pour scorn on it.
She was so grateful to Ruth for providing the venue for this new club that she’d been thinking about . The ideas just wouldn’t go away, constantly niggling at the back of her mind. She’d wanted to do it, but hadn’t known where to start. But now she had a venue, someone fabulous to do it with and was really looking forward to getting this idea off the ground. She loved her job, but felt that something was missing from her life, especially the times when Archie wasn’t around. She knew she was going to enjoy organising this club and was really glad that she’d mentioned it to Ruth. Who knew that just saying the words out loud would make some of her dreams come true?
Ruth came over with her diary and Grace left the café after agreeing dates for the rest of the year. They had to start somewhere. They had no idea who or how many people would come along or whether they should charge, and if they did how much. But they agreed that Grace would set up a Facebook page for the group and they would share it, asking their friends to share too, and she knew that Monica, her biggest cheerleader, would spread the word with some of her clients. It was all getting quite exciting. Ruth also suggested getting up some posters in the café to promote the meetings. They would just see what sat right at the time and how the group and the idea evolved. It was really all in the hands of heaven above.
* * *
I do love that Ruth. She’s helping my girl’s dreams come true. Grace, I was willing you to share your hopes and dreams with Ruth. You just need a push from time to time. You’ve got some fabulous ideas but just need the self-confidence to follow them through and make them happen. I know that you can do anything that you set your mind to and now you’ve got these amazing people in your life, I know you’re going to go from strength to strength. I wish you just had that faith in yourself that others have in you.
But I can see your light starting to shine again from within. You have that sparkle back in your eyes and a fire in your belly and an enthusiasm for life that I’ve not seen for a long time. I never want you to have that sparkle
dulled again and know that Vinnie is someone that will encourage and inspire you to do great things in your life. That’s what being in a relationship should be: two people, wanting to make the other happy and inspiring each other to achieve their goals and dreams and making an amazing future together full of memories.
Because let’s face it, memories are all that’s left after you’ve gone. Possessions break, pictures fade, but hopefully memories will remain in your heart long after a person has left your life. I hope I left my girls some wonderful memories of me. I think I did! I certainly tried to be the best mother that I possibly could. I was strict but fair… although you two might not agree! But I loved you both with all my heart and you knew it. And I made sure that I told you every single day. I even remember lying in my hospital bed, just before I was taken and telling you both how much I loved you. I needed those words to be the last you ever heard from my mouth. And I know that you haven’t forgotten.
I love you. You’ll always be my little girl even if you’re nearer forty than four or fourteen and I’m always watching you, just giving you a gentle shove, or a bloody great big one, when you need it.
Love you, Mum xxx
* * *
Saturday night had come round quicker than Grace thought possible. While she knew that she’d made a lot of progress in the last few months, with a number of changes in her life, including getting a job, buying a house and renovating it on her own, thinking more positively, changing her hair and her clothes, she still had the same insecurities. She supposed years of allowing someone to make her feel not good enough for them, despite trying to do everything she could, had rubbed off and it was those feelings that she was trying so hard to shake now.
Belinda turned up at six-thirty armed with DVDs and popcorn ready to sit with Archie for the evening while Grace went to the awards ceremony. Belinda wolf-whistled at Grace and told her she’d never seen her look so beautiful.
Mark had said he wanted a drink so would get a taxi to Stafford town centre and meet her at the entrance at ten to seven. Grace had agreed readily, feeling that the less time she had to spend with him the better.
She felt a million dollars in the turquoise cocktail dress that Monica had talked her into on their swishing trip, the colours of the dress blending beautifully with her aqua aura crystal necklace. As the taxi pulled up, she noticed that Mark was waiting on the steps of the town hall. She watched him through the window; he looked handsome in his tuxedo and her mind flashed back to when they were younger and very much in love. He didn’t look that much older now to be honest, just greying around his temples, and a little stouter, but it suited him. A lump formed in her throat and she swallowed down a twinge of regret for everything that had once been. It took her breath away how two people who had so much promise for the future could now be living such separate lives.
She paid the driver and turned to Mark, who whistled and winked at her, and took her arm as they made their way into the building. The next person she bumped into was Edward, her boss, who was looking out for her. She introduced Mark to him, and Edward shook his hand.
‘You look stunning Grace, really stunning,’ he said as he kissed her on her cheek and introduced Mark to his wife and business partner, Melanie. Grace loved Melanie. She was fun and bright; a real pleasure to work with. Once again, Grace thought about how lucky she was to have found a job with such a friendly and supportive team. They immediately started chatting as they headed over to their table where the rest of the team were already seated. They all greeted her and Mark warmly, and Grace smiled at them all, trying to quell her inner nerves. Not only was she was worried about the prospect of having to get up on stage – not that she really thought she was in with a chance – but she’d found the whole dressing up thing so stressful. She might have had a major make-over, and felt a long way from the old frumpy Grace, who wanted to hide from the eyes of the world, but she still found it all quite nerve-wracking.
The meal was probably lovely, but Grace was so discombobulated about the whole evening that she could hardly eat a thing. The first few awards categories and the winners were announced and then it was time for the Business Superstar award. She didn’t think for one minute that she’d win, and believed it was a complete mistake that her name was even included. Part of her had been expecting someone to get in touch and tell her that they’d make a mistake, so she didn’t really know why she was feeling nervous. There were so many other local businesses that she’d heard of in the local press so she was flabbergasted when the nominations were called out, and the winner’s name announced – it was hers! She really couldn’t believe it. She was actually delighted and felt a little gobsmacked. Edward and Melanie beamed at her.
The Lord Mayor asked Edward to join them on stage, and suggested that he’d perhaps he’d like to say a few words about why he felt that Grace deserved the award.
Edward got up and offered Grace his arm, and they made their way to the stage, Grace slowly and precisely, praying silently that she wouldn’t trip and make a tit of herself. She arrived unscathed and was helped up the steps by Edward.
‘Melanie and I couldn’t be prouder of Grace than we are of our own children at a school awards evening.’ The audience laughed and Grace relaxed a little. ‘She has come such a long way since she joined our family estate agency a year ago, and she’s brought her light and her sparkle to the team and we adore having her around. She’s amazing at her job, the customers love her and she’s a pleasure to work with.
‘When Grace started, she joined us as a part-time member of staff but made a role for herself that we could never do without now. She came up with an idea of videoing houses, which our house buyers love and which makes both vendors and buyers come to us. She’s hit way above her sales target and been a mentor for many of the younger staff coming through the ranks.
‘Thank you, Grace, for being you. I couldn’t think of a better person to work alongside, apart from my good lady wife, of course.’ He winked at Melanie and blew her a kiss. ‘Huge congratulations on your award, Grace.’
What an amazing speech. How on earth could she follow that?
In a timid little voice, she started to speak. ‘After being a stay-at-home mum for such a long time, it was really hard to get back into the workplace.’ She looked up and saw lots of faces smiling and it gave her the boost that she needed and her voice became more confident and louder. ‘But Edward. You and Melanie gave me a chance. A chance to prove myself and for that I shall be eternally grateful. I absolutely love my job, love that you allow me to fit it in around my son and I would like to thank everyone for voting for me to win this amazing award. Thank you all so much.’
Loud applause broke out in the room and whoops of delight could be heard from their table as she and Edward left the stage. Melanie got up and kissed her on both cheeks, then Mark stood up and hugged her. He kissed the top of her head.
‘I’m so proud of you,’ he said.
It felt like such an intimate moment, one that hadn’t happened for such a long time. Grace felt stunned by his response.
‘You must be very proud of your ex-wife, Mark,’ Edward said as he returned to his seat.
‘Yeah, of course I am.’ Mark grinned. He raised his glass of champagne to Grace and toasted her. The table joined in and he smiled at her, his eyes lighting up.
As the event drew to a close, Mark walked Grace to the taxi rank and suggested that they go back to hers for a coffee. He winked at her and said that Lorraine was out this evening at a club in Birmingham so he wasn’t expected to be home for a good couple of hours yet and he suggested that they have a nightcap with their coffee. He nuzzled into her neck, in that special place that always used to make her spine tingle. And he knew it.
She hated the fact that she knew she should say no, but felt she would be rude if she refused. Despite herself, she found herself leaning into his embrace, but she swiftly thought of Belinda and made an excuse that she needed to get back to the babysitter.
&n
bsp; As the taxi pulled up at her house, she quickly said goodnight, gratefully thanked the driver, flung a tenner at Mark for her share of the cost and got out as quickly as she could. When she got in the house and shut the door behind her, she was grateful for a lucky escape.
* * *
On Sunday morning, Grace’s heart gave a little flip when she noticed Vinnie’s name flash up on the caller display of her iPhone, and she smiled as she answered. They’d been texting each other every day and she knew he’d had a really busy week at work. She hadn’t mentioned that Mark was going to the awards with her. Not because she wanted to lie to him, but because it wasn’t important to her.
‘Hey, you!’ his voice was warm and comforting and made her feel like someone had wrapped a big fleecy blanket around her shoulders.
‘Hey, you!’ she said back. ‘What a nice surprise, I thought you were ringing tonight.’
‘Well, I was but I thought, what the hell, I’m too old to play games, Grace. I wanted to hear your voice so I called. I hope that’s OK. And obviously I wanted to find out how your awards event went.’
‘It’s more than OK, Vinnie, and I won. Can you believe it? Little old me, who has never won anything in my life, won!’
‘Ah congratulations, Grace, that’s such wonderful news. I’m so proud of you.’
Her heart gave another little flip. This was someone that she hardly knew telling her she’d done well. She was over the moon.
‘I saw your lovely sister recently. I think I’ve become addicted to the coffee that she serves.’
