by Jeff Elkins
She took his hand and squeezed it. “I can’t believe I’m just running into you like this. What’s it been? Like a year?”
“Fifty-one days,” Mark said, still confused. “I can’t believe you’re here.”
“I know. I never come to this part of town, but I heard about this new restaurant up the street and thought I would give it a shot.”
“You look incredible.”
Mary laughed, slightly embarrassed. “I’ve missed you. How are you? You look thin. Have you been eating?”
“Oh yeah,” Mark said, coming into reality. “Um. I’ve been working out,” he lied. “You know, just trying to get fit and all.” He didn’t want to tell her he hadn’t eaten a decent meal since their break up.
“That’s great,” Mary replied. “I was worried about you.”
“Thanks. Um… I’ve missed you a lot.”
“How’s work been going? Have you had any articles published lately?”
“Yeah. A few. Work’s been fine,” Mark lied.
“That’s so great to hear,” Mary said, smiling. Mark lost himself in her blue eyes for a moment.
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah. Yeah. I’m fine,” Mark said. “How’s your job going?”
Mary grinned. Mark never asked about her job when they were together. “You know, the shop is the shop. Nothing much changes.” She cocked her head to the right and said, “You seem different. Has something changed?”
“Hey Mary, who’s this?” the muscular man said, arriving at her side. He took her hand and laced his fingers with hers. Mark’s heart pounded with rage. His blood turned hot. He could feel the new Mark slipping away and the angry Mark returning.
“I’m Mark,” he said forcefully extending his hand for a shake.
“Oh,” the man said as his grip crushed Mark’s. “You’re Mark. I’ve heard a lot about you.” Mark was shocked at how powerful the man was. He was lean, athletic, and a good foot taller than Mark.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Mark, this is Mike. He’s Susan’s little brother,” Mary explained as she hugged Mike’s arm.
“I always knew Susan was a back-stabbing bitch,” Mark mumbled.
“Excuse me?” Mike said.
“Aren’t you a little tall to be a little brother?” Mark snapped.
Mike smiled in reply.
“I mean, come on Mary! How old is this kid?”
“I’m twenty-seven,” Mike said. Mark wanted to beat that smile off of his face.
“Mary! He’s…what…like six years younger than you. Come on! When you were a senior in high school he was just coming into junior high.”
“Same old Mark,” she said squeezing his arm again. “It was great to see you. I’m glad you are doing so well.”
Mark was overcome with regret. He had blown it. He was given one more chance and he had wasted it. “Great to see you too. You do look fantastic,” Mark said.
“Nice to meet you Mark,” Mike said.
“Yeah, yeah,” Mark grumbled. He jammed his hands into his pockets and crossed the street. He could hear them whispering behind him.
He reached the opposite curb and froze. “You’re a pathetic douche,” he whispered. Then he turned and yelled, “Hey! Mary! Wait a second!”
She looked back. Mark ran across the street to meet her. Mike stepped forward to intercept him.
“Give us a minute Gigantor!” Mark snapped.
“It’s okay, Mike,” Mary said. “Why don’t you go and get us a table. I’ll catch up with you in a minute.”
“All right,” Mike said, eyeing Mark. “If you’re sure?”
“It’ll be fine,” Mary replied.
“Yeah, go get a table Gorilla Boy,” Old Mark shot as Mike walked away.
“What is it, Mark?” Mary asked.
“Listen, Mary. I just wanted to say… I mean, what do you see in that guy? It isn’t serious is it?”
“It’s early, but things are going in the right direction,” Mary replied. “Not that it’s any of your business.”
“You’re right. You’re right. You look fantastic by the way. Did I say that already? You look amazing.”
“You did. Thanks.”
“I fixed that cabinet. You remember? The one with the lose hinge that used to drive you nuts? I finally fixed it.”
“That’s great, Mark. Is that what you wanted to say?”
“No. I mean, I just thought you’d want to know. Oh! And I stopped drinking.”
“Wow. That’s great.”
“Yeah. I’ve got twenty-nine days sober. I’m going to meetings and everything. It’s been great. I feel like a new man.”
“That’s awesome. I’m happy for you. Listen, it was good bumping into you, but I really need to…”
“No. Wait. I just wanted to say… I mean… I’ve been thinking a lot about you. About us. I’ve been playing it over and over in my head. We had some good times right? We were happy…in the beginning at least. Right? You liked being with me…until I ruined it.”
“I loved you, Mark. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“You know Mark, it was a different life. I’m trying to move on.”
“I know. But that’s what I needed to say. That’s it. That’s why I’ve been thinking about you so much. I just need to tell you, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for how I treated you. I was an asshole, a self-absorbed asshole. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry I never saw how beautiful you are. I’m sorry I spoke to you like I did. I’m sorry I didn’t appreciate you. I’m sorry I never asked about your job. I’m sorry I didn’t care. I’m sorry for all of it. If I could go back and fix it, I would. But I know I can’t. So, I’m sorry. I’m sorry is all I’ve got to give.”
Mary reached up and held Mark’s cheek in her palm. She gazed into his eyes and said, “I forgive you.”
A wave of release washed over him. He could feel his sorrow and obsession disperse like smoke in the cigar bar. Anxiety blew from his body. He breathed deep. “Thank you,” he said. He took her hands in his. “It was good to see you. You’re amazing. Mike seems like a nice guy. I hope he knows what he’s found.”
“Thanks,” Mary said.
“Goodbye, Mary.”
“Goodbye, Mark.”
Mark turned to cross the street.
MARK AND THE MAGIC CANDY HEARTS
Mark examined the white package he’d found on his doorstep that morning. He shook it and listened to its contents rustle around inside. He sighed, laid it in his lap, and looked at the sign above his head. Three minutes to the next light rail train. He knew she would call any minute to see if he’d opened it yet. She always called at this time because she knew he was on his way to work and she assumed he had nothing better to do but talk to her.
He looked at the box again and then at the sign. Still three more minutes until the next train. He hoped maybe the train would beat her call. If he were on the train when his phone buzzed, he could tell her it was rude to talk on the phone in an enclosed space like a train car.
His phone buzzed in his pocket. There was no train in sight.
Mark thought about just ignoring it. He could lie and still use the train car excuse. He looked at his phone and considered it, but the fear returned, that feeling in his stomach that she saw everything all the time. She’d worked hard to instill it in him early on. “Don’t you misbehave when I’m gone because I’ll know. I see everything,” she used to say to him.
He took his phone out of his pocket and pressed the button to answer the call. “Hello Mom,” he said into the phone.
“Hello, Mark. This is your mother,” the caller said back.
“I know, mom,” Mark said shaking his head in disbelief. “That’s why I just said ‘Hello, mom.’ I can see who is calling me on the phone. I know it’s you.”
“I don’t really have time for all that, dear. I’ve only got a second. I was just calling to make sure you got the mail I sent you.”
Mark sighed and looked at the package in his lap. “Yes, Mom. I got your package.”
“Well, don’t exhaust yourself thanking me for it. I send you something nice. The least you could do is show some gratitude.”
“Really, mom? Really?”
“Your brother Charlie loves it when I send him things, is all I’m saying. He doesn’t even wait for me to call him. He calls me. That’s all I’m saying.”
“God, mom,” Mark said as he rubbed his forehead with his free hand.
“All I’m saying, dear, is that, I hate to say it, but I’ll be dead and there won’t be any more mail from me. Not that you would notice.”
“Thank you for the package, mom.”
“You’re welcome, dear. It doesn’t mean as much because I had to ask for it, but you’re welcome. I just thought you’d need a little cheering up. It being Valentine’s Day and all. And you, of course, being single. Again.”
“Of course? Mom, of course?” Mark said with disbelief. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“What, dear? You’re so touchy today. I know it’s a hard day to be alone, but you don’t need to take it out on me.”
“Mom, I’m not taking it out on y—.”
“Dear,” Mark’s mom interrupted. “Let’s not fight. Okay? I’ve got plans with your father tonight. We’re going to that new sushi place on the corner of Riggles and Park. You know the one. Even though his back is acting up, he’s still taking me out for a nice night. Isn’t that sweet?”
“That sounds nice, mom,” Mark said looking up at the train sign. There were still two minutes until the next train. Mark gave the sign an angry glare.
“Sarah recommended it. I’ve heard it’s very fancy. Did I say it’s sushi? That’s raw fish, you know.”
“I know what sushi is, mom.”
“And Sarah told me that she and Phil go there all the time. Very romantic she said.”
“Sarah?” Mark said. “Sarah who?”
“Sarah. Sarah and Phil. You know Sarah and Phil. They’re Mary’s parents.”
“God, mom,” Mark said with frustration. “Why are you talking to Mary’s parents?”
“Well, just because you couldn’t make it work with her, doesn’t mean I have to give up the friendships I’ve built.”
“Yes, mom,” Mark said rubbing his head again. “Yes, it does. You are not allowed to be friends with my ex-girlfriend’s parents.” He looked at the sign again. Still two minutes. He gave the sign the middle finger.
“Sarah said you would be like this. She and Mary talk all the time. Imagine, having a child that calls you of their own volition just to talk. I told Sarah that I have no idea what that feels like. And then Sarah said you weren’t handling the break up well. I told her that I was worried but, of course, you never talk to me, so I didn’t know for sure.”
“I’m handling it fine, mom. God. What does Sarah know about it anyway?”
“Well, she said that Mary said that she saw you in the grocery store last week and that you looked very sad. She said you got in a fight with the deli manager over some kind of cheese or something.”
“It was meat, okay mom,” Mark said angrily into the phone. “And I know what a half-pound of meat looks like, alright? And that was not a half-pound. Not by a long shot.”
“I know how you get when you are lonely, dear. You have such a temper. But there’s no reason to yell at me about things. All I did was send you a package in the mail.”
“Listen. New rule, mom. No more telling me about Sarah and Phil. Okay?” Mark said as he stared down the tracks hoping to catch some glimpse of the train.
“See, there is it. Just because you couldn’t make it work with Mary - such a wonderful girl - and now you’re all alone on Valentine’s Day, doesn’t mean you have to treat me poorly, especially after I went to all the trouble to mail you a care package on Valentine’s Day so you wouldn’t feel so bad about being all alone.”
“Could you say that one more time, mom?” Mark said with frustrated sarcasm. “I’d forgotten there for a second that Mary moved out.”
“I’m just trying to help, dear. Maybe if you could control this temper, you would have plans tonight.”
Mark smiled at the sight of the train pulling into the station. “Alright, mom. I’ve got to go. The train is here.”
“Okay, well, enjoy your Valentine’s Day package. I’ll think about you when your dad and I are out having sushi tonight.”
“Thank you for the package, mom. Talk to you tomorrow.” Mark hung up the phone and stuffed it back into the pocket of his jeans before his mother could get another word in. Slinging his computer bag over his shoulder and taking his package in his other hand, he stood and filed onto the train with the other handful of passengers.
Mark sat in his usual spot. The seats of the train car were cheap, plastic, and uncomfortable. The other regular commuters took their places too. Because everyone sat in the same place each morning, the ride always felt the same.
Mark tucked his computer bag behind his legs and then shook the package again, listening to it rattle. He ripped the thin end of the package open and turned it on its side. A small box of candy hearts slid into his hand along with a shiny red card. Opening the box of hearts, Mark shook one into his hand. Written in yellow on the small blue heart was the saying, “Seize the Day!” Mark popped the candy in his mouth and chewed. As the sugar melted in his mouth, he closed his eyes and enjoyed the taste.
“What’s that?” Bernie said, poking with his cane at the package in Mark’s lap.
“Nothing,” Mark said, not wanting to share.
Bernie was what Mark had named the elderly man who always sat across from him on the train. Mark had no idea what the man’s real name was. He just looked like a “Bernie” to Mark. Today, Bernie was wearing a brown baggy V-neck sweater over a blue button down, brown pants, and, of course, his brown, tattered Homburg hat. Rain or shine, Bernie was never without his brown Homburg.
“What is it?” Bernie said, poking the package again.
“It’s a Valentine’s Day gift,” Mark said.
“Who’s it from?” Bernie asked. The train jerked forward and began to roll down the track toward downtown.
“My mom,” Mark said.
“Aren’t you a little old to be getting a care package from your mommy?” Bernie said.
The woman sitting two seats to the right of Mark, who Mark had named Sally, giggled.
Mark glared at her.
“He has a point,” Sally said. She had a kind smile that Mark enjoyed. Mark wasn’t sure of her age, but she seemed a little younger than he was. Today she was wearing a green blouse, a gray skirt, and her black reading glasses. Open in her lap was a paperback version of The Firm by John Grisham. Sally always had a paperback with her.
“First off,” Mark said. “I’m not that old. I’m only thirty-five. And second, I didn’t ask her to send it. She just sent it, okay?”
“Well,” Bernie said. “What’s in it?”
“Yeah,” Sally said, looking up from her book. “What’d you get?”
“It’s nothing really,” Mark said, letting the box of candy hearts fall into his hand again. He removed another piece of candy and looked at it. The green candy read, “Share the Love!” Mark popped it in his mouth. “It’s just a box of those cheap candy hearts and a card.”
“Can I have some?” Bernie said, holding out his hand.
Mark laughed. “No,” he said. He slid another heart into his palm. The pink candy read, “You should Share!” Mark laughed again to himself and ate it.
“Come on,” Bernie said, still holding out his wrinkled hand. “Give me one.”
“No,” Mark said again, this time with a more dismissive tone. He took a fourth heart from the box. The green words on the red candy made him look twice. They read, “Don’t be an Ass!” Nervous that candy with such a strange message might be sour, Mark tentatively put the piece of candy in his mouth and crunched it between his teeth. It
tasted the same as the others.
“I want some,” Bernie said, still holding out his hand.
Mark shrugged. “Well, I don’t want to be an ass,” he said. Holding out the box, he jiggled it until three candies fell into the old man’s hand. Bernie ate them all at once.
“You didn’t even read the message on them,” Mark said.
“When you’re as old as I am,” Bernie said, leaning back in his seat and crossing his arms, “you don’t have time to read stuff. I could drop dead any second.”
“What’s the card say?” Sally asked.
Mark sighed and examined the shiny red card. On the front, in silver script, were the words “Be My Valentine!” He read them aloud and then showed the card to Sally and Bernie. Then, opening the card up, he read to them the message on the inside that was in his mother’s handwriting. “Figured you would need this since you are single, of course. Don’t be sad. Valentines is only twenty-four hours. Tomorrow no one will care that you are alone. Love, Mom.”
“Well, that’s sweet,” Bernie said holding out his hand. “Give me some more candy.” Mark jiggled three more hearts into the old man’s hand. Again, he ate them all at once.
“I guess that was sweet,” Sally said.
“That’s my mom,” Mark said, putting the card back in the package. He took another candy from the box and read it to himself. “Ask Her!” it said. Puzzling the message, Mark popped it in his mouth.
The light rail train rolled to a slow stop. The doors opened. No one got on or off. The doors closed and the train began moving forward again.
“More,” Bernie said, holding out his hand. Mark obliged. Again, the old man didn’t stop to read them before he devoured them.
“What did she mean by, ‘of course’?” Sally said, looking up from her book.
“Right?” Mark said. “That’s what I asked her on the phone.” He took another heart from the box and read it. “Ask her Out!” it said in pink lettering. Laughing to himself, Mark popped the candy in his mouth.
The train rolled on in silence. They crossed over a small lake. The newly risen sun reflected off the water. Mark sighed, wishing he were still back home in bed. He took another candy from the box and read it. “Ask Sally Out!” it read.
