by Zoe Chant
He couldn’t deny his mate.
“Yeah,” he said shortly, sealing his fate.
The relief on her face was the barest salve to the fire of his guilt.
He stood up abruptly and wasn’t sure what to say. To his gratitude, Alice stood too. “Thanks,” she said shyly. “I mean... for that, and... I’m glad we’re being honest, you know. It’s nice to have someone... I trust.”
Shy gave Alice a whole level of appeal. She usually blustered through things with a cow-catcher of confidence that Graham was beginning to understand was just a facade.
And while her strength and competence was incredibly sexy and hot, it was her vulnerability, her weakness, that did something unexpected to Graham’s insides.
“I... want to be,” Graham said, then got himself tangled around the grammar. “Be someone you trust, I mean....”
But don’t, he wanted to add. Don’t trust me. Don’t have faith in me. Don’t believe the best of me, because it’s all a lie. You were right to run...
He should tell her the rest of his story, he thought, but he couldn’t get the words from his mouth. He knew what she would do, and he wouldn’t be able to bear her reaction. She’d be horrified. She’d be disgusted.
She’d be afraid.
Right now, she wasn’t afraid, she was looking at him with unexpected softness and thoughtfulness.
Before Graham could figure out how to tell her the rest of what he wanted to, Alice cleared her throat uncomfortably, balled up a fist and punched him in the arm. “Anyway, thanks,” she said cheerfully, not quite looking at him. “Good workout.”
And just like that, she was gone.
Graham rubbed his face and threaded his fingers through his unruly hair.
For someone who wanted to keep things uncomplicated, she certainly set him on a roller coaster of emotions.
He wasn’t sure how long he sat there before the phone in his pocket buzzed. Scarlet had given it to him so that she had a legitimate way to contact him, and he took it out expecting a text from her.
The number was unknown, but Graham knew who it was immediately by the content of the text:
PEOPLE ARE SNIFFING. $1000 TO KEEP QUIET.
Chapter 19
Alice hated how socially inept she could be, hanging behind Mary and Neal, Amber and Tony.
When they had invited her to join them on a trip across the island, she had been so eager to get out of the sleepy resort and do something other than think about all the things she couldn’t control that she undoubtedly missed all the cues that they wouldn’t really want her along. It didn’t even occur to her to put together all the pieces and realize what a personal journey this was going to be.
The ride itself had started well; Neal drove the resort Jeep down the ridiculously winding, bumpy road to the airstrip they’d flow into, and they laughed and talked about the state of the track and the incredible heat, and the island, and the wedding, and their plans to go snorkeling. From the airstrip, it was still a merry trip, over a road that was nearly but not quite as bad as the resort road, to the compound on the other side of the island.
But as they drew closer, the mood dampened, even if the sunny day did not.
When they pulled into the overgrown drive, the party was sober and quiet.
And now she was the most awkward fifth wheel since the wheel itself was invented, watching the two couples wander hand-in-hand through the abandoned compound and the charred remains of the zoo where Neal and Tony had been tortured.
The jungle was starting to spill in over the lawn around the compound. Alice could tell that it had once been neatly groomed and sharp-edged, but now it was almost blurry as brush crept in from the forest, sending tendrils of vines and shoots of roots across the unkempt grass.
The arboretum they walked solemnly through was still mostly standing, but Amber exclaimed over how damaged it was and even Alice could see that neglect had not been kind to the more delicate plants within.
“There were so many birds when I was here,” Amber said thoughtfully. “Hummingbirds, and orioles, I remember.”
They all stopped and listened.
“I don’t hear any birds at all,” Alice observed. There were insects, and frogs, but no birdsong.
The compound was even more eerie after that realization.
The house itself was largely undamaged, but had clearly been stripped and stood empty, with gaping dark windows. Here, too, jungle had started to take over. Green vines trailed up over the walls, and skinny saplings spotted the lawns and choked the gardens.
Rain had washed the worst of the soot and ash away, but the bones of the zoo behind the house were still black, twisted and warped. The wall around it looked like it had been burned to the foundations by impossible heat. No cage was whole, but some were half-standing, at least one wall ripped open and burned down on each of them.
It was a stunning display of power and Alice was awed by the sheer scope of the damage.
This was the act of someone who clearly had no intention of being caged again.
She wished she had a hand of her own to hold, watching the others cling to each other. Even though she hadn’t been imprisoned or abused in this place, she could imagine what it had been like, how horrifying it would be to be caged and forced to stay in her animal form.
No offense, she told her bear.
Her bear was as bothered as she was. No one is meant to be in a cage, she said gruffly.
They found, picking through the rubble, the cell where Tony had been held.
“It wasn’t that long for me,” he said, with a sympathetic sidelong look at Neal, who had spent ten years in his own enclosure.
Amber clung to his arm. “I remember how it hurt you,” she said fiercely. “I remember.”
Mary said nothing, her fingers twined tight with her mate’s.
They found Neal’s cage next; it was little more than a few black bars striking up through concrete, and some crumbling steps.
“I tore the lock off the door when I was finally free,” Neal said thoughtfully, crouching at what must have been a doorway once. “I gave it to Gizelle. I wonder if she still has it.”
He spoke mechanically, like it was something distant and half-forgotten, but when Mary knelt and put her arms around him, he hunched over as if he still felt pain.
Alice retreated swiftly, knowing she was unwelcome in the moment of comfort. Amber and Tony had already returned to the arboretum, and Amber was sitting on an unbroken portion of bench while Tony made her drink water and fussed about her health.
Alice wandered to the back of the zoo, over the scar of the wall, to the shaggy lawn that overlooked the sea. They were so high here that the waves were barely wrinkles below them, and the noise of surf was a distant hum. A road, half-washed out, led steeply down to a long dock and a half-moon of beach.
There were burned bars and chunks of rubble even here, as if they had been thrown from the zoo in a fiery explosion. Alice tested one of the dark concrete slabs with her hand, expecting the black to rub off on her like fresh soot, and was surprised when it came away clean. She sat on it, pulled her knees up against her chest, and wished she weren’t thinking of Graham.
He might not say much, she thought, but his solid presence beside her would have been comforting.
She glanced back at the zoo, where Mary and Neal were sitting together in the bones of his cage. He had his arms wrapped around her, and she was murmuring in his ear as she held him.
She could have that, it suddenly occurred to Alice.
She could have that unwavering support, that true bond, that unflinching comfort.
Graham loved her.
It was more than his blurted first words, it was more than the way he had rushed to protect her from Gizelle’s mate. It was the way he gazed at her when he couldn’t help it. It was the trust he cautiously extended her, like he was afraid of being pushed away... with good reason considering her insistence that there was nothing between them but animal nee
d.
She could have the same security and partnership that Mary and Amber had found, that same happiness.
All she had to do was accept that she loved him in return.
Chapter 20
“We’ve got him,” Jenny said triumphantly, pulling her phone from her ear. “We’ve got Grant Lyons!”
Graham, who had been planning to sneak straight past the kitchen and go to bed hungry rather than face the smirks and pity and questions that the rest of the staff would have, froze in the doorway.
He wished, not for the first time, that he’d fought harder to get the servants quarters that Breck had claimed when they first moved into The Den. At the time, Breck had needed the private entrance much more than Graham did.
Now, every eye from the living room and kitchen was on Jenny—and because Graham was right behind her, his entrance was at the edge of the spotlight.
“I’ve got a contact who has Lyons’ current name and location, and he’s agreed to sell it to us. I’m wiring him the money right now.” Jenny had her phone in her hands and was clearly starting the transaction.
The rest of the staff murmured in excitement and interest.
“I wonder if this is what Tony feels like doing spy work,” Jenny said gleefully. “I can hear the James Bond theme in my head.”
“Stop.”
Graham’s voice surprised even him, and if he had been at the edge of a metaphorical spotlight before, he was now in the blinding center of it. Breck and Darla were standing at the sink still holding the dishes they had been washing and drying together. Saina and Bastian were sitting at the kitchen bar, Travis leaning at the end of it. Wrench and Lydia were in the living room sitting together on the couch near Laura, and Tex had been closing the windows. Someone had muted the television at Jenny’s exclamation.
“He’s not, you know, a shining example of morality,” Jenny said apologetically, looking at Graham. “But I understand he’s good for his word. I got his information from a guy Tony knows, so it should be pretty safe.”
Graham laughed humorlessly. “Johnny Ace is good for his word... unless someone else is willing to pay more.”
Jenny blinked at him. “How did you know his name?” she asked slowly. “I only got this information this afternoon.”
Graham looked around the room.
These were his friends.
These were Graham’s friends.
They trusted Graham. They thought he was a good guy.
If he was honest with them, if he told them the truth, they’d know better. He’d destroy every fragile thing he’d found here, salting the earth of their friendship.
Secrets rose up in his throat, threatening to suffocate him, and he hated the taste of them.
He fingered the phone in his pocket and pulled it out. “Because the rat bastard asked me for money not to tell you.”
They all stared at him, not daring to put the pieces together.
“I... don’t understand,” Jenny finally said.
She didn’t want to understand, Graham knew.
Darla gave a little inhale of revelation, loud in the quiet room, and Graham closed his eyes.
“I’m Grant Lyons,” he growled. “I’m Grant Lyons,” he said louder.
It was one of the worst moments of his life.
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Travis asked quietly.
“Does Scarlet know?” Bastian demanded.
“Oh, Graham.” That was Lydia, sounding shocked and sorrowed.
Wrench gave a low growl.
“Do we have to call you m’lord?” Breck asked.
Graham opened his eyes in time to see Darla elbow the waiter in the side.
“It’s a valid question,” Breck protested. “Weren’t the Lyons landed lords?”
“Why didn’t you say something when you realized you could buy the resort?” Jenny demanded, sounding understandably put out.
“With what money?” Graham countered, angry. “I don’t have a penny. And yes, Scarlet knows. She’s known all along. She’s in no position to come up with three hundred and fifty million. She’s facing pretty certain bankruptcy already. Jubilee Grant’s lawsuit came through, and she... didn’t want to spoil Neal and Mary’s wedding by letting them know.”
Apparently, coming clean meant coming completely clean. Graham made himself snap his mouth shut before he said even more.
“Little late for that, Grant,” Travis muttered sympathetically.
Graham turned, to find that the wedding party had come quietly through the open door behind him, and they were staring at him with the looks of shock and betrayal that he had expected.
He had eyes only for Alice, who was standing behind the others, the disillusionment in her face like a blade.
“So much for honesty,” she said coldly, and she turned on her heel and stomped out.
Then it really was the worst moment of Graham’s life.
Chapter 21
Alice turned blindly on the path and ran, grinding her teeth and wishing herself anywhere else.
She’d told him everything, and he’d told her half-truths.
I want to be honest, he’d said. It’s nice to have someone to trust, she’d told him.
And he wasn’t even Graham Long.
Alice came to another fork in the path and jogged uphill, because it was harder, because she wanted the clean sweat of hard work to wash away the ugly anger and resentment and betrayal that she was feeling.
What could she trust of what he’d told her? What part of it was real and what part was the mask that he’d shown everyone?
It didn’t make her feel any better that he’d been lying to everyone.
Everyone except Scarlet. Scarlet knew. And if Scarlet knew about Graham...
The path ended in a high wall and a closed gate marked “KEEP OUT” in red letters. Alice snarled, and turned to find somewhere else to run, then caught a whiff of Graham and knew he’d followed her.
She waited.
He wasn’t running, he was walking slowly, and by the time he got to the gate, Alice had worked herself into a fury.
“You know what Scarlet is,” she accused him, when he finally rounded the last corner and wearily approached.
“You knew what she was the whole time, and you knew what it would mean for me, that I could save my family. You lied to me. I trusted you.”
Did he understand how rare her trust was?
Graham didn’t answer, only went to the gate, opening it and going in without saying a word.
Alice hesitated a moment, then followed him.
For a moment, her anger was washed away in surprise. They walked into a garden, a beautiful, riotous, protected little area of green glory. An open greenhouse lay in one direction, uncovered beds, groaning in flowers and fruit, in the other. Jungle towered above it on the island side, open fields to the ocean side. Even in the darkness, it was gorgeous.
And it smelled... like home.
This was Graham’s haven, she realized. The forbidden garden, his secret place.
But she wasn’t ready to forgive him, or accept this gift as any kind of compensation for his lies and deception.
“Why didn’t you tell me about Scarlet?” she demanded, only a few steps into the garden. She turned and glared at Graham, not letting herself drink in the peacefulness of the plants around them. She didn’t want peacefulness, she wanted Graham to suffer some fraction of the agony she was feeling.
“Her secrets aren’t mine to tell,” Graham growled, in that low voice that masked accents.
“I might have accepted that,” Alice snarled. “But you let me believe you didn’t know.”
Graham was silent. Insufferably silent.
“You lied about who you are,” she went on, hating the silence worse than the lies. “You lied to me and talked about trust and honesty, and I don’t know how I’m supposed to ever believe you about anything again.”
“I’m sorry...” Graham started to say.
But Alice didn’t
want an apology any more than she wanted peace.
She was angry, and hurting, and she wanted to fight him, because she didn’t know what else to do.
“You’re only sorry you got caught,” Alice hurled back at him. “You would have cheerfully continued to deceive me... for how long? Until I left after Mary and Neal’s wedding? What if I’d decided to quit my job and stay here with you? Would you have let me sacrifice my whole world for a complete fiction?”
“I wouldn’t have...”
“How can I believe anything you say!” Alice snapped, hating his gentleness, resenting his calm. “I don’t know what you would have, what you might have, I only know what you did. What you said. How you lied. I told you everything. You let me believe you were being honest with me.”
She was being impossible, she knew, and that was the very worst part. She was the one who had pushed him away, held him at arm’s length. She was the one who had tried to deny that their bond was anything more than sexual need. No kissing, she’d told him, as if that had protected her heart in the slightest.
“I actually fell in love with you!” she railed at him, the pain in her chest like a band being tightened. “Until ten minutes ago, I thought maybe we could make something work, that there really was something here! Something real!”
“Don’t,” Graham said, sounding angry at last. “Don’t love me!”
Alice was out of words, out of breath, out of the fury that had carried her this far; it was leaking out of her with the tears on her face.
Graham seemed to have absorbed all of it. “You want my secrets? You want to know the whole truth, who I really am?” he threatened.
Alice stared at him, not sure what to do with the emptiness in her chest or the silence in her throat.
“I’m a fighter, I’m a killer. I told you the truth about school, and I got recruited soon after to fight in an underground cage fighting ring. It was all shifters, and it was a fight in human form until one of the fighters shifted in sheer survival instinct. You know how you get shifters to take animal form? You hurt them. You hurt them so bad, they have to shift, they can’t help themselves. Ask Tony, or Neal. Beehag had it down to an art.”
