“The details of the dream have become increasingly clear over the last few days. I’m remembering more than just the last few seconds. I’m in some sort of cavern with a large natural pool built right into the ground. It has the clearest water I’ve ever seen. I’m desperate to make someone understand something. It’s as if…” He trails off for a moment, his eyes tracking some unseen memory in his mind. “It’s as if my life depends on it. But I’m also confused. Whatever has happened, my brain can’t seem to figure it out.”
He shakes his head, frustrated that he’s only getting bits and pieces. He’s still staring off into space, lost in his nightmare and a memory of something he can’t fully remember.
“She’s looking right at me, the girl from my dreams. Tears are streaming from her beautiful gray eyes, down her cheeks. The look on her face is utter devastation, and my heart feels like it’s being ripped from my chest. She finally turns and starts to run away from me, back through the cavern entrance. I try to grab her hand to stop her, but she slips out of my hold. I chase after her, but she’s suddenly vanishing in front of my eyes. Like smoke that slowly starts to dissipate. That’s usually when I shout, ‘Don’t go!’...but it was slightly different this last time.”
“This girl? Who is she? Can you describe her?” Macklin asks.
I’m watching Cole intently. A sick feeling starting to roll through my body as a memory, long since locked away, finally breaks free. I already know the words he’s going to say. I can hear them in my head, in his voice, loud and clear.
“You shouted, ‘Fate, don’t go!’” I whisper. “Didn’t you, Cole?”
His eyes are full of despair when they reach mine.
“Yes. It was you. It’s always been you. That first time we saw you, I knew you were the girl that haunted my dreams, but I don’t know what I did. Or what you did. Or what the hell is happening at that moment. That’s why I can’t trust you. Something happened, and whatever that something is, there’s a damn good chance it’s the reason we’re all here. No memories of who we are or where we came from. No idea who we are to each other.” He stops then and stands, his fists clenched at his sides. “Now we’re all back together again. And here you are, tempting each of my brothers. Batting those eyes of yours at all of them. Maybe this is your revenge. Your way of getting back at me for all of that pain I caused you. Or maybe this is your way of apologizing for whatever bullshit you pulled that day. Hell, for all we know, this has something to do with one of them. I don’t know, and I don’t really fucking care. All I know is that until we figure this shit out, I. Don’t. Trust. You.”
By this point, he’s in my face, towering over me. My power starts to rise along with my anger. It starts in that empty space inside me and slithers out in all directions, lighting up nerve endings along the way until it reaches my fingertips. The lights start to flicker. The fireplace roars to life.
It’s not a surprise there’s no love lost between us. I’ve let his constant hostility flow through me like water through a sieve since the day he got here. But now this ghost girl’s switch has been flipped, and I refuse to stand here any longer and take the brunt of his anger that I’ve done nothing to provoke. Time to remind this asshole just who he’s dealing with.
The sound system once again starts blaring a rather appropriate tune if I do say so myself. Yeah, fuck you very much, Ass-Cole.
We’re toe to toe, Cole and me. Both breathing heavily, our eyes locked on each other. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say this sounds like the start of a very sexy, drool-worthy scene that culminates with his and her pleasure. Unfortunately, as an active participant in the current situation, I can assure you that it is not in the least bit mouthwatering, and there will be no happy endings.
That alone is enough to have me lashing out at him.
“Just who in the hell do you think you are? You came to find me. Not the other way around. If there is anyone here who should be suspicious right now, it’s me!” I shout over the song.
Realizing how ludicrous it is to yell over the music, I use my power to turn the volume down to a reasonable level while keeping the song on repeat because I know it will piss him off.
“What in the hell do you have to be suspicious of? You’re dead. A ghost. No one can do shit to hurt you. My brothers and I, on the other hand, have everything to lose, and I’m not trusting our lives to a hot-headed nymphomaniac!”
“Nymphomaniac?” I sputter.
I’m slightly outraged. Slightly in agreement. I mean, it has been god knows how long since I got laid, and I tend to have a one track mind where these guys are concerned. Though that’s totally beside the point right now. He thinks that I don’t have feelings just because I’m no longer alive? That I can’t be hurt? Well, he’s wrong. Because right now, that empty space in my soul that’s been begging for even the tiniest scrap of their attention, any teensy hint of connection, is shrinking in on itself. Closing itself off when it had only just begun to open itself up again. Fuck him!
“Maybe we should all calm down,” Macklin says, trying to stem the rising tide of anger and revulsion in the room. Of course, we ignore him.
“You’re wrong. I may be powerful, but I’m not invincible. There is one particular weakness you guys can exploit. Mack said the twins can send me to the afterlife. One little touch and boom! Bye bye, Fate.”
The room is suddenly in an uproar, the guys all talking over each other.
“What the fuck, Mack?” Knox shouts.
“You told her we’d send her to the afterlife?” Thad demands.
“You told her about our abilities?” Levi asks.
“That was not your decision to make!” Cole growls.
“I only offered to help. I didn’t want her to be alone anymore,” Mack snaps, squaring his shoulders, which would be totally sexy if I had time to really appreciate it. Sadly, I don’t. I have to make an asshole remember his place.
I tune them out and focus on Cole.
“Maybe that’s what’s really going on here. You came to eliminate the threat. I mean, you said it yourself. I’ve been haunting your dreams for years. Were you tracking me down so you could finally put an end to the nightmares? Or maybe you wanted to rid yourself of whatever guilt you feel every time you look at me? It’s starting to look like I’m the one that shouldn’t trust any of you.”
I punctuate that last statement by stabbing his chest with my pointer finger. Unfortunately, it’s highly ineffective as it just sails right through his body rather than meeting the resistance it so desperately desired.
“Fate, we’re not here to harm you. We want answers, just like you do,” Knox tries to interject on his brother’s behalf, and I don’t pay any attention, but I do note the sense of strain in his voice. Poor guy is probably inundated with all these hostile feelings being slung around the room. I make a mental note to make it up to him later.
There’s a silent stand off as Cole and I glare at one another. The routine has become familiar in the days since the guys showed up, but this time there’s more than just seething anger in those beautiful blues. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think I’d hurt him somehow.
“You know what? I can’t deal with this right now. Why don’t you go give away orgasms like Oprah gives away cars and leave me the hell alone,” Cole snarls as he stomps out of the study, silence following in his wake. A few moments later, the back door opens then slams shut.
I’m staring at the doorway he just walked through, wondering why he gets under my skin so damn bad...and how in the hell he knows so much about Oprah. The man is an enigma I may never get the chance to figure out.
In that hint of a memory I have, the anguish in his voice is undeniable. I never would have expected him to aim that particular emotion at me or tell me not to go, for that matter. Our current, unspoken stay the fuck away from me pact must not have existed then.
He’s right about some of what he said, at least. We don’t remember who we are to each other, and we don’t know w
hat that means for the rest of us.
“Give him time to cool off. One of us will go get him and bring him back in. We’ll need to discuss everything we just learned,” Macklin soothes as he walks up behind me.
I can’t bring myself to turn around and face him, but I have to ask what I know we’re all thinking.
“What does this all mean, Mack?”
“I’m not sure, Fate, but we’ll figure it out. Together.”
“Together…” Drawing out the word, I take a second to gather my spiraling thoughts before I continue. “Funny how only moments ago that word would’ve had me swooning at your feet.”
I look over my shoulder and find him focused on me.
“Is that all it takes to get you on your knees, woman?” Thad asks, earning a smack to the back of the head from his brother.
“Ouch! What the fuck, man?”
Not even the twins’ naughty sense of humor can ease the pain that is slowly encompassing my heart like a slow-moving poison through my blood.
“But now,” I say slowly, turning to fully face Macklin, “now, I’m not sure together is such a good thing to be.”
The hurt I see flash across his face causes a twinge in my heart, and I quickly scan the faces of the others, finding the same. I don’t want to be the cause of those looks. Ever.
Hope. It’s a dangerous emotion I had always managed to avoid. Until now. Until them. Now look where that’s gotten me. Alone in a room full of people. Been there, done that, have the t-shirt.
“I’m going to go. I’ll find you later.” With that, I poof myself into one of the upstairs bathrooms and throw myself into my second favorite place in the house, the large empty tub where someone, at some point in time, left an empty wine bottle sitting in the corner. That person is someone I would probably get along with. I mean, I’d totally bring a whole bottle of wine to a tub soak...yes, please! Getting comfortable, I give in to a much-deserved pity party of one, imagining a full bottle of wine and a tub filled with luxurious bubbles. A ghost girl can dream, right?
Lying on this somewhat comfortable twin bed, I think back to the clusterfuck that was this evening. The look on Fate’s gorgeous face as Cole broke her spirit down is stuck in my damn head. She was finally starting to trust all of us, to ingratiate herself into our group, filling a spot that seemed to be custom-made just for her. The more time she spends around us, the more I notice the ever-present sadness in those haunted eyes slowly being replaced with a confidence and power that stirs something inside my soul.
Which is a first - for my soul, that is. Normally, it’s there in the background of my consciousness, with about as much feeling as a doormat. After meeting Fate, it’s as if it’s waking up from a long slumber. This intense possessiveness and a growing sense that we need to protect her at all costs, along with a healthy dose of fond affection, are screwing with my mind, and the sexy as fuck ghost is responsible.
Fond affection? She’s turning me into another Macklin. Fuck my life.
Except, after tonight, we’re back to square one. A loud sigh escapes my lips before I can stop it.
“What the fuck are you pouting about over there?” Thad asks from the twin bed beside me. It’s like we’re kids again. Except we don’t remember ever being kids, which is fucking strange. Even so, given our unique bond, we’d still prefer two small ass beds that barely fit half our bodies over being in separate rooms. When we’re apart for too long, we get antsy and irritable, the sense that something is missing making us agitated and more aggressive. We’ve been lucky we’ve never had to see what would happen if we were separated indefinitely. Something tells me it wouldn’t be good.
“You think she’s okay?”
His eyes shutter, and whatever joke he was going to crack is gone like the wind.
We sit there for a moment, our eyes locked onto each other. Sometimes serious talks like this are just easier when you don’t have to speak the thoughts out loud. Thank fuck for our twin connection making this one big silent conversation in our heads.
You know she’s not okay, bro.
How can we make this right?
His eyes leave mine for a moment to stare at the ceiling, his large hands moving up and under his head. When his head finally tilts toward mine again, the serious look on his face tells me just how much this is bothering him too.
We can’t. If we tried, we could end up doing more harm than good.
What do you mean?
Think about it, bro. One small mistake and we could accidentally send her off to the afterlife. We get too close to her, get a little too excited, let one spark fly from our fingers, and she’s no more. You want to risk that?
It’s my turn to look away. He’s right, which is not something I often say. Of the two of us, he’s the loose cannon. The one more likely to fuck things up and then smile at you in apology. Then I sweep in to smooth things over. But right now, he’s one hundred percent right.
The fact that he’s the rational one in this scenario is surprising and actually kind of fucking annoying. That’s my usual gig, and I’m not sure how I feel about this role reversal. Is my whole world turning on its axis?
Despite the fact that everything in my being is begging me to go to her, to assure her that we would never hurt her, I can’t because that’s not a promise I can make. And that thought tears a new hole in my already tattered soul.
“Dammit!”
“We’ll figure things out tomorrow. Let everyone cool off tonight,” Thad says quietly, like it’s the last thing he wants to do.
As my brain circles back to Fate, the one thing that’s become increasingly obvious is that somehow, in a short amount of time, she’s managed to carve out a place in my heart - a place that’s hers and hers alone. With every frantic beat in my chest, I know that neither my heart nor my soul is happy that we’re so fucking helpless. That there’s nothing we can do to change the fact that our girl is hurting. I can only pray that the next time we see her, we’ll be able to tell her just how important she’s becoming to us. How much we’re here for her and despite what my dipshit brothers do or say, she can always count on us to be in her corner.
“Right. Tomorrow,” I say quietly, already knowing that sleep is going to be elusive, and I’m in for a long ass night.
The dreams have been coming more frequently over the years. With the chaos of the last few days, I fully expected them to get even worse. God, I hate it when I’m right. After seeing Knox and his sudden, almost obsessive connection with this spirit, I have begun to dread the night. I’m not one to believe in coincidences and have finally conceded they have everything to do with the girl. Ghost. Whatever the fuck she is. There’s no denying it now anyway - not after seeing her.
Until today, my brothers hadn’t known all the details. Guys don’t ask a lot of questions. They don’t want to discuss feelings - well, except maybe Knox. In true male fashion, most men wait until you’re ready to talk about it. I had never reached that point. Until Mack pointed out that our histories are somehow tied together, and I was forced to.
Fuck! I should’ve told my brothers. Our bond has survived the years because we’re open and honest with each other. It’s the very foundation we’ve built the last fifty years of our brotherhood on. The fact that I’m the one to put the first crack in it adds another bruise to my battered soul.
Sitting in bed, drenched in a cold sweat, I take deep breaths to calm my racing heart. This one was more realistic than any I’ve had before. The look of despair on her face shattered my heart, and the tears coursing down her cheeks were so real that I swear if I wiped them away, I’d wake up with the dampness still lingering on my fingers.
The sense of impending doom that always follows the nightmare - because, hell, I always call it like it is - leaves me irritable and moody. This time is no different. I take that back; with everything that went down tonight, it’s worse than usual.
I throw the covers off and get out of bed. Padding to the en-suite bathroom, I head for the si
nk, turn on the chrome tap, and splash water on my face. Gripping the edges of the granite countertop so fiercely it's a wonder it doesn't crack beneath my hands, I lift my head and stare at myself in the mirror. I take a good, long look at the features I’ve seen every day for the last fifty years. The ice blue eyes are the same. Nose is still straight despite numerous attempts to change that. There are no new wrinkles, scars, or marks lining my skin. My hair is styled differently now but is still as black as night. I’m the same man that woke up in Phoenix all those years ago, but how long will that last? Something tells me that my past is catching up to me. With no idea what that means, I’m scared shitless for the first time in this life.
Avoiding the pain and anger and confusion that were building inside me was easy when I could pick fights or drink myself into a stupor every night. I could ignore the itch just under my skin caused by the unease that threatened to devour me whole at the first sign of weakness. Then my brothers saved me. Pulled me out from that pit I had fallen into before I could let the fear consume me, because underneath it all, that’s what it was. Fear. Channeling my power into keeping them safe helped me stave off this sense of impending doom that follows me around like my own personal rain cloud.
My power, the ability to command those closest to me without question and outsiders by a simple touch, comes with a hefty price tag. I’m always cognizant of each choice that needs to be made, not wanting my brothers to ever feel like I’m making them do something they truly don’t want to do, but when push comes to shove, I’m the one that has to make the tough calls. Our survival has always been my burden to bear. I may be an asshole and naturally take charge, but the weight of responsibility is a load too heavy even for me sometimes.
When we got word of a house that had been haunted by a spirit intent on scaring buyers away, that this spirit was powerful and not to be messed with, my gut tried to warn me. I chose to ignore it. I mean, what were the chances this was in any way related?
Now, after seeing my nightmare manifest right before my very eyes, that fear is slowly clawing its way to the surface again, and neither my power nor my brothers will be enough to stop it. The only thing that can, the only one that can, is someone I refuse to get close to.
A Fate Unknown: A PNR, Why Choose Novel (The Ghost Girl Series Book 1) Page 9
