by Dante King
“You’re not really going to do it, are you?” the succubus asked, giving me a worried look. “Work against the Infernal Academy? Against Lucifer?”
“Uh, how could he even do that?” Christina dismissed Mareth’s concerns with a wave of her hand. “Babe, Luke is going to be the next Lucifer. Collecting all the information he can about the other side isn’t just a good idea—it might be the difference between whether he comes out on top or not. Personally, I’m impressed as fuck that you put this together so quickly, Luke.” She grinned. “It’s also making me so wet I’m going to squeak when I get up from this couch.”
“I can see that,” I told her with a smile. “I didn’t like making the arrangement, Mareth, but you said it yourself. There’s a million rules in the Celestial Academy—and if I get caught breaking them, I could be thrown out. Judyth’s protection will let me and Maddie learn all we can about the angels, for now at least. But like I said, we don’t tell anybody.” I rubbed my chin. “Maybe not even Oni. I like the guy, but he’s not exactly all there even at the best of times. Wouldn’t want him telling the wrong person…”
Both girls nodded.
“In that case, you better get back,” Christina said. She looked a little put out to be denied another round in the living room, but she and Mareth could clearly understand it was more important to continue my mission. Besides, all three of us were already looking forward to the possibilities our new phone network opened up for dirty pictures and chats.
“Yeah,” Mareth agreed. “Don’t worry about a thing. We’ll make sure everyone down here thinks you’re an even bigger stud because of your Dual Enrollment. Go teach those angels how to loosen up a bit!”
“Give Maddie our love,” Christina said, her eyes shining.
After assuring them both I’d do just that, I resummoned my robes and concentrated. My eyes closed, the subspace collapsing around me even as Mareth made a suggestion that caused my cheeks to burn. My apartment winked out, the air around me cooling a good ten degrees as I returned to the lobby of the Celestial Academy and its Admissions Office.
“I’m back,” I said, opening my eyes. “Sorry if I kept you too long—”
The lobby was empty. Maddie and Judyth were nowhere to be found. In fact, there was no one around. And half the lights had been turned off. What the hell…?
A noise from behind me made me turn. I looked up, and up.
To find myself staring up at a ten-foot-tall angel with a face of stone, carrying a massive flaming sword.
Chapter 5
“You,” the giant angel snarled.
I took an involuntary step backward, shocked to the core of my senses by the intruder. Well, technically I was the intruder here, but that hardly mattered. Things had changed so rapidly I barely had time to react to them. Where had everyone gone? Why was this massive angel standing in the lobby, waiting for me?
It’s a set up, I thought, ice filling my stomach. They snatched Maddie and now they’re trying to take me down!
As if confirming the thought, the angel drew his flaming sword. Tongues of fire lapped up and down the silver blade, bathing the lobby in deep shadows. With the added illumination, I could see that the angel wore nothing but a loincloth around his waist, studded with a golden belt that looked it belonged to the wrestling champion of the world. His abs were chiseled from stone, not a six-pack or an eight-pack but what looked like a freaking twelve-pack.
“Me,” I agreed, holding up my hands. “Where’s Maddie? What have you done with my girl?”
A strange look flickered over the angel’s face. Belatedly, I realized he was amused by the question. Was this holy asshole laughing at me?
Another cutting remark rose to my lips. Before I could give it voice, the angel struck.
The massive blade slashed through the air, seeking my midsection. I backed up just in time, and the blade sailed past me. I reached for my own magic as I tried to size the angel up. Holy shit he was fast! He’d aimed what seemed like a casual horizontal slash at me, yet he’d struck with hurricane force.
“Interesting,” the stone-faced angel said. His voice was something I could only describe as a monotone rumble, like a rockslide given the ability to speak. “Ready yourself!”
Ready myself? I had no weapon, save for my magic. I’d already begun reaching for it—after these words, I reached twice as hard.
“Bring it,” I growled, black wings ripping from my shoulder blades. I had my own fire; it jumped into my palm like a magical missile, ready to be tossed in this stupid smug jerk’s stupid face. I might not have had a sword, but I didn’t need it: my fingers elongated into claws as sharp and long as knives.
He brought it. The angel shimmered in the air, then teleported behind me. No, not teleported—I could feel the wind of his passing. He was just that fucking fast!
The sword came down in a vertical slash, like a chop from a karate master trying to break a dozen boards at once. With nothing to parry the blow, I threw myself to the side and lifted both hands in the angel’s face. Tongues of flame erupted from my fingers, sending the angelic asshole staggering backward in surprise and anger.
Ha! Got you!
I moved forward, pressing the advantage. This guy wasn’t so tough, after all. I reasoned the guardians of the Celestial School had to be more than a little complacent, after thousands of years of just sitting around strumming harps and hanging out on clouds. At least demons liked to spar. They embraced talents like Christina’s, while this guy probably stood in an alcove all day collecting dust!
I chucked another fireball at the angel’s feet. He jumped over it smoothly, aided by a quick flap of his majestic wings.
So you can fly, I thought, using my own to buffet the angel with a gust of wind. If I could get some of the sparks from my fingers to catch, I could envelope this dope in a firestorm so big even he couldn’t get away—
The angel tossed his sword at my feet.
For a moment, everything stilled. The flames between my fingers winked out as I stared downward, a little confused by the gesture. Was the angel yielding? Had I won?
“Pick it up,” the angel said. His voice was like gargling gravel. “Now.”
Was this a trap? If it was, it wasn’t very clever of the angel. I’d been winning even without the sword. Kicking it away would give me an even greater advantage. However, I couldn’t detect any strange magic clinging to the blade. And it would feel good to have a weapon.
I scooped up the sword. It felt amazing in my hands—as if it had been made for me. The weight was perfectly balanced, and the edge had been honed to razor sharpness.
“Are you giving up?” I asked.
Slowly, the angel shook its mighty head. “Not at all. I simply wish you to have a chance to defeat me.”
Was this guy for real? I snapped my fingers, and flames of my own lapped up the sides of the angelic blade. Strange runes had been etched into the guard in a language I didn’t understand—perhaps a language no human could understand, a thing beyond mortal comprehension. Power indeed lay within this blade.
“That’s cute,” I said, brandishing the blade in his direction. “Now tell me where the fuck Maddie is—”
He socked me in the gut.
This time, there wasn’t even a blink. Almost within the same instant, the angel went from standing before me to planting his fist in my stomach. His punch hit me like a Mack truck, knocking me off my feet to slam into a nearby wall. I sank to the ground, clutching my midsection.
The angel gave me no time to think. “Get up,” he hissed, still in that strange voice.
“Go to hell,” I growled, fluttering to my feet.
For the first time, a touch of mirth entered the sentinel’s expression. “That’s your department,” the angel said, shaking his head slowly. “Give me everything you’ve got, candidate. Show me what the fury of Lucifer is worth.”
Candidate? Was this some kind of test? I was too pissed off to care.
“You asshole,” I gr
owled, dropping into a battle stance. “You’ve been rope-a-doping me!”
The angel frowned. “I do not know this term.”
“Never mind. It’s—”
This time, it was my turn to attack without warning. I put all my energy into a dive, streaking forward like a phantom as I swung the enchanted blade straight at the angel’s neck. One good hit would sever even that stone head from its owners shoulders, leaving him slain at my feet.
The blade never made it. The angel caught in in mid-air—grabbed it right between his fucking fingers. Like a damned twig a twelve-year-old boy had been trying to strike him with.
“Pathetic,” the angel said, diving to the side.
I chased, swinging again and again, yet my strikes met only air. The creature was three moves ahead of me—leaving me open to a counterattack that never came.
Belatedly, I realized just how screwed I’d been from the beginning. The angel really had been leading me on—and I got the impression this wasn’t even the height of his power. What the fuck was this guy?
He backed up again and again, until he was against the wall. My shoulders rose and fell rapidly with exertion, the sword trembling in my fingers, while he stood like a fucking statue in the corner.
“Got you,” I said with a triumphant grin. “Nowhere to hide!”
This time I put the blade into a two-handed stance and stabbed, aiming for the angel’s heart. I put every ounce of energy I had into the attack, my eyes glowing as red as coals in the furnace as a demonic growl tore itself from my throat.
The angel clapped his hands, catching the blade neatly.
Then, while I watched with growing horror, he twisted it like a pretzel.
The blade bent at the sharpened points, bucking inward beneath his stone palms. It left not a mark on the sentinel—it was like trying to damage Michelangelo's David with a toothpick.
I’d never had a chance.
The angel snapped the blade in two neatly, tossing the severed pieces to the floor. Then, before I could move, he wrapped those stony fingers around my throat and lifted me off the ground. My legs kicked out, seeking the leverage of the floor, but it was nowhere to be found. He shoved me against the wall, slamming me against it so hard the marble cracked. My vision dimmed.
“I don’t believe it,” the angel whispered. “This is what Lucifer sends us? After so long? No, you must be some kind of trap, boy. Tell me what hidden power you possess.”
I tried to speak, but the fingers around my throat stifled all noise. The world swam around me, the blackness encroaching along the edges of my vision.
“Show me what you’re holding back!” The angel’s eyes burned with a white light as he choked me out. “Reveal yourself, candidate for Archlord! You come with the blessing of the Morningstar—yet you fight like a suckling babe! Do you think you can deceive me, hiding your true power?”
“I…” I gasped. The world was very dark now, and suddenly I was glad I’d spent my last hours having fun with Christina and Mareth. “I…”
The angel’s face was suddenly an inch from my own. “Lucifer must be growing complacent in his old age,” the sentinel muttered, something in his face changing. “Or you are the cleverest actor I’ve ever met…”
He dropped me.
Color returned to the world as my ass hit the marble. I coughed and gasped, rubbing my throat as I tried to back away from the angelic monster. I’d never fought anything like this before—I’d never thought anything that powerful could exist. If he chose to finish me off right now, I was through. Done. I’d be heading back to Hell for real—
“Holofernes!”
The strange word caused the angel to turn. The double doors of the admissions office swung open, and Judyth entered, flanked by a half dozen angelic guards. From her harried look, she’d been trying to gain access to the building for the entire duration of her fight, and this strange sentinel had been keeping her at bay.
The thought chilled me. This guy sealed a building off right in front of the Headmistress of the Celestial Academy? What kind of power was needed to hold all those angels back?
“I was testing the abomination,” the stone-faced angel explained. He spoke about it as if he’d just gone to take out the trash. “I thought a potential candidate for Archlord of Hell would put up more of a fight.”
In a flash, Judyth was at my side. “Virtues,” the woman panted, “you almost killed him!”
“Almost,” the angel said with a shrug.
Judyth’s fingers felt blessedly cool against my throat. After a moment, I realized the strange tingling sensation spreading through me was her magic, soothing my wounds away. Her ageless forehead lined with wrinkles as she looked me up and down, examining me like you would a car the mechanic assures you is fixed but you aren’t quite certain about.
“You’ve gone too far this time, Holofernes,” Judyth said, shaking her head. “Luke has valid credentials to attend the Celestial Academy. Lucifer would have every right to file a complaint about this. Virtues, he’d even be just to do so…”
“It’s fine,” I said, staggering to my feet. The last thing I wanted was for the rest of the student body to rush in, only to find me sitting on my ass in front of their most badass fighter. Better to make it look like I’d held my own. “I don’t mind a sparring session. The Wrath School is full of them—my girlfriend majors in it, in fact. I just wish you’d given me some notice!”
The stone-faced angel—Holofernes—was unmoved. “I gave you my sword,” he rumbled. “That should have been more than enough.”
Judyth examined the broken pieces of silver blade strewn across the lobby, shaking her head. “We’ll have to get you another one of those,” she muttered, clucking her tongue. “Luke, are you sure you’re alright? Is there anything I can get you?”
Yeah, whatever they gave this guy to make him so tough, I thought but didn’t say. “Really, I’m alright,” I said, extending a hand to the stone-faced angel. “Good bout?”
Holofernes stared at my hand as if he’d never seen one before. “Know this,” he said, not offering to shake. “Should you seek to bring Lucifer’s brand of trouble into the Celestial Realm and create a second Fall, I shall see to it that you experience an eternity of suffering.”
“Eternity of suffering?” I asked, chuckling. “Isn’t that more my thing? Well, Lucifer’s thing, anyway.”
Holofernes took a step closer to me. Judyth shrank back, as if even she feared what the angel might do. “Your days are numbered,” the angel whispered. “Their number is known to the Almighty, even though in his infinite wisdom he has chosen not to share such information with me. I know not his reasons for allowing you to enter our hallowed halls, but I’m certain you won’t be here for long. I look forward to expelling you from the Celestial Realm myself, Luke.”
“Yeah, I’m sure,” I said. “Look, I’m not here to cause the Day of Judgment or whatever. I’m just looking to get an education. Me and Maddie.”
Holofernes laughed—a strange expression on that face, for sure. “Ah yes. The fledgling. Should you despoil her virtue, scum, you’ll face my wrath…”
Judyth and I shared a look. “Should I tell him?” I asked the Headmistress.
“Please don’t,” Judyth whispered.
I shouldn’t have. But I couldn’t stop myself. “Maddie’s virtue has been well and truly spoiled already,” I told the angel, savoring the look of disgust on his features. “She’s my other girlfriend, and the stuff we did to earn her those wings is the kind of stuff they probably don’t teach you about up here—”
Holofernes grabbed my throat and lifted me off the ground.
“It is a mistake to allow you to attend this institution,” the angel said flatly. “As big a mistake as letting the serpent into the Garden. I will not allow such mistakes to happen a second time!”
Wait, what? Was this guy implying he was around during the whole Garden of Eden thing? Dimly, I remembered that after Adam and Eve were expelled, an ang
el with a flaming sword had been assigned to guard the Garden from humans ever finding it again. A defender like that would be sure to be one hell of a fighter…
Was that who I’d just sparred with?
“Holofernes! Put him down—I command you!”
Holofernes didn’t seem to put much stock in Judyth’s commands. But what did sway him was a soft female voice a few moments later, screaming in horror.
“Luke! Ohmigosh, are you okay!?”
It was Maddie. She flew into the room on her brand-new wings, her silken robes caressing her curves. Her dark glasses nearly slipped off her face as she landed next to me and Holofernes, grabbing at the stone-faced angel’s thick arm. “Let him go! He didn’t do anything wrong!”
The angel’s head turned as if on a swivel to face Maddie. An unnamable emotion gleamed in his eyes.
“It’s not what he’s done,” Holofernes rumbled. “It’s what he will do.”
Maddie shook her head, tears in her eyes. “You can’t punish someone for something they haven’t done yet! That’s crazy!”
“I think you’ll find,” Holofernes said calmly as he throttled me, “that I can.”
Maddie beat the angel’s arm with her fists, tears springing to her eyes. “Please! Please don’t!”
For a moment, I was sure I was finished. Then something passed Holofernes’s throat. You couldn’t call it a sigh—it was more like the sound of tectonic plates smashing together.
“Very well, my lady,” the stone-faced angel said with a deep frown. The fingers around my neck unclenched, and I was free.
“That’s two infractions in a single day,” Judyth said, quickly putting her healing fingers to my throat a second time. “What am I going to do with you, Holofernes!?”
The angel stared down at the Headmistress. “I am not under your jurisdiction,” he rumbled.
Judyth stared up at him blankly for a long moment. “I know,” she said, giving the man an acid look. Instantly, I knew these two had one hell of a long history, and that I was going to need to ask about it later.
