Solomon did not know why he shared all this with Miss Richards now. He hadn’t told anyone about this—his last memory of his brother, frail and barely conscious on his deathbed, and the regret he lived with for waiting so long to say his goodbyes. He didn’t want to talk about it because of the pain it always brought.
“I’m sorry, Miss Richards. I did not mean to make you uncomfortable.” He shook his head at his surprising speech. Even if he did suddenly feel the need to speak about this topic, he should not have subjected Miss Richards to it. “Besides, speaking about Ambrose will not bring him back,” he mumbled, more to himself than to her.
His mind suddenly became flooded with all the time they wouldn’t have together. The memories were awful, but the images of what their future should have been—more visits to each other’s homes, more jokes and laughter, more of Ambrose’s and Florence’s children learning to call him uncle—tore him apart.
Solomon sucked in a sharp, shuddering breath. This was exactly what he’d feared would happen if he gave voice to his pain. Now it overwhelmed him, nearly suffocating him under the weight of his grief. He would have to live the rest of his life without his brother.
He’d never even told Ambrose about Miss Richards when they’d courted in London. He hadn’t wanted to get anyone’s hopes up again. Solomon had only confessed his heartbreak after he’d returned to the country when the Season ended. Ambrose had been the one to suggest he reach out to Miss Richards in some way or ask Henry and Cecilia to arrange a meeting. Ambrose had believed that Solomon could salvage their future.
Solomon had ignored him, scolding him for being too much of a romantic. After all, he and Florence had had a fairytale courtship and marriage, it seemed. Ambrose never brought it up again. And now, no matter how desperately Solomon wished he could speak with Ambrose about all this, seek his wisdom and advice, find relief in his brother’s humor...Solomon would never have that opportunity.
Juliet put a hand on his arm, so light and cautious that he almost did not feel it. Almost—but everything in his body had become so attuned to her over the course of their all too brief courtship. Even if he had no other senses, he would always know when she was near. He need not see or hear her to be able to feel her presence.
Solomon looked over at her, her face tilted up to him, a deep sadness turning her normally light blue eyes a shade darker.
“Speaking about him will not bring your brother back, but it will keep his memory alive.” Though little more than a whisper, her voice carried a gentle, soothing strength. “It is normal to have regrets, but I firmly believe that your brother holds nothing against you, nor should you hold it against yourself. You did your best in the moment and acted according to his wishes. I would be happy to listen anytime you want to talk about him, or about anything else that is on your mind. That is what friends do for each other.”
Solomon blinked rapidly, surprised to hear that word wrapped up so sweetly in her voice. Friends. It sounded so wonderful, so warm. Perhaps it wasn’t as terrible as he’d thought to talk about Ambrose. Her caring expression, her lovely voice, her soft hand on his arm all gave Solomon courage.
“Yes, we are friends.” He gave a small smile, enjoying the way that declaration sounded. “Go on to your lesson now, Miss Richards.”
“Are you sure?” she asked, brows turned up in concern. “I do not want to leave you to dwell in sadness on your own.”
“I am quite alright now. You’ve given me the outlet I didn’t know I needed.” Solomon’s smile grew wider. “Besides, I wouldn’t want you to get in trouble on my behalf.”
“Oh, her ladyship will not mind if I’m a little late. I can just tell her you wanted to discuss something with me. She’ll understand since she does dote on you so.” Juliet giggled quietly, her eyes shimmering as she tested the light jest.
Solomon coughed and straightened his spine to a nearly painful rigidity, adopting a serious expression. “I’m afraid I meant that you would get in trouble with Pearl. That little girl has become very strong-willed—like a certain governess I know,” he said gravely.
The governess laughed, her shoulders trembling as the sound overcame her entire body. She looked quite relieved that Solomon appeared to be in better spirits.
Indeed, he felt something warm in his chest as she excused herself and walked away, something he hadn’t felt in a very long time—happy.
“Oh,” she called, pausing at the door. “And do call me Juliet from now on.” She smiled almost shyly before slipping out of the room.
Solomon chuckled at her gentle command. Their roles had reversed for a moment but he found he did not mind. It reminded him of the Juliet he’d known—spirited and a bit obstinate yet always so bright and inviting.
Perhaps they really could be friends now. The atmosphere between them had felt comfortable and natural even though the subject wasn’t a pleasant one.
Solomon knew he had Juliet to thank for that.
Chapter 7
Pearl whined again as Juliet gazed out the window of the drawing room. The grounds had been transformed into a winter wonderland with their first heavy snow of the season arriving yesterday. Thankfully, Juliet had received Cecilia’s letter this morning, dated two days prior, informing her that they had arrived home safely.
The sound of Pearl’s doll clattering to the ground snatched Juliet’s attention back to the drawing room. The girl groaned once more. Juliet blushed as she noticed Solomon and Lady Overton look over at her. She didn’t want to be caught without control of the situation.
“Come now, Pearl. I know you are frustrated, but that is no way to treat your doll. She has been nothing but kind to you and we must return the same kindness to our friends.” Juliet slid out of her chair and gathered her skirts beneath her, settling onto her knees before her charge.
“Whatever is the matter, my love?” the dowager countess asked, leaning forward in her chair by the fireplace.
“I want to play outside!” Pearl cried, her voice forlorn, face contorted in despair.
“Pearl, you know we cannot go outside today. There’s too much snow. But we can do many fun things with your lovely doll here,” Juliet tried to reason with the girl, picking up the doll and walking her about the floor in an attempt to reignite her interest.
“That is not entirely true.” Solomon’s voice came from behind Juliet, much closer than she expected.
Juliet looked over her shoulder and peered up to see Solomon standing just behind her, even closer than he’d sounded. A tingle coursed through her as she took in his tall frame, broad shoulders, auburn hair, his overwhelming handsomeness stunning her into silence. He certainly looked like he had something mischievous planned. Juliet had so missed that lively spark in his eyes.
Pearl jumped up and threw herself at Solomon. “Please, please take me outside, Uncle! Let me play!”
Solomon bent forward and took her chin in his large hand. “Run along and get bundled up, and don’t forget to bring Miss Richards back with you.”
Pearl ran out of the room, her footsteps muffled by the sound of Solomon’s chuckle.
“What are you doing?” Juliet stepped closer, keeping her voice low. She did not bother to hide her frown from her friend. She was so glad to see him look more energetic today. She didn’t even mind Pearl’s outburst. She knew the girl had been in a melancholy mood since they’d woken to find snow everywhere yesterday. Pearl had confessed to Juliet that she would miss snuggling up under warm blankets with her mama and papa this year. Clearly Pearl’s sadness expressed itself as frustration so Juliet could not blame her too much, but she still had her misgivings about playing in the snow.
“You’ll see,” Solomon whispered back confidently. He gave Juliet such an arrestingly charming smile that she instantly trusted whatever he’d planned. “You should hurry along now and catch up with Pearl. Once that girl is going, it’s nearly impossible to stop her.” He shook his head in amusement as he looked over at the door his niece had disappear
ed through.
Juliet gasped, remembering that Pearl had dashed off down the hallway unsupervised. She gripped her skirts and rushed through the room, but she couldn’t help pausing just outside the door. She glanced over her shoulder to see Solomon watching her with something like an enamored expression. Juliet’s heart leapt in her chest as their eyes locked. Solomon tilted his head in the direction Pearl had gone, and Juliet remembered her mission.
She spied Pearl trotting down the hall. “Pearl, please wait!” she called, trying to keep the exasperation out of her voice.
Pearl whipped around, a silly grin on her face. The girl waved for Juliet to follow. “Hurry, Miss Richards! We musn’t be late!”
Juliet chuckled and relaxed once she saw how truly eager Pearl was to get outside, lengthening her strides to catch up. They hurried to Pearl’s room where Juliet quickly dressed her in several warm layers. Their next stop was Juliet’s room, located conveniently down the hall from Pearl’s.
Not wanting to waste any more time, Juliet snatched up the nearest coat and threw it on, not worried if it matched her dark gray dress. As she buttoned up, Juliet noticed Pearl gazing about the room before settling her attention on Juliet, her eyes wide with wonder and admiration.
“What are you thinking about?” Juliet asked with a slight tilt of her head, smiling curiously. Pearl had never been inside her room before and, though it was well-appointed for a governess’s quarters, it certainly paled in comparison to the lavish surroundings Pearl spent her time in.
“I want to be just like you when I grow up, Miss Richards,” Pearl whispered, her high-pitched voice laced with awe. “You are so beautiful and graceful and kind and fun. I will be a governess, too!”
Juliet stared in silence, frozen in place with a glove half pulled on. She hadn’t ever expected to hear anything like that from anyone.
She smiled at the girl and held her small hands, warmth spreading through her chest. “That is so very kind of you to say, Pearl, but it is important to always be yourself above all. You can use me as an example, but you must choose your own path and share knowledge with others, if that’s what you wish to do, in your own unique way.”
Suddenly Pearl’s face lit up in her excited grin once more. “Hurry, Miss Richards or else Uncle Solomon will leave us behind!”
Juliet laughed at Pearl’s rapid return to this most pressing matter. “I am sure he wouldn’t dare,” she insisted, but she yanked her gloves up the rest of the way and pulled Pearl along behind her. They flew down the stairs, making it to the back doors in record time.
Solomon turned when he heard them approach, a bright grin stretched wide over his face. “Goodness, I thought you’d never come,” he teased. He looked so very dashing in his winter coat, thick gloves, and shining boots.
Pearl ran to him again, hands grasping at the air. This time Solomon scooped her up into his strong arms. “Of course we wouldn’t miss this adventure!”
Solomon’s head tilted back as he laughed, his tall hat nearly toppling to the ground. He caught it just in time. Then he settled Pearl onto his hip and glanced back at Juliet before pushing the door open. Juliet followed, her hesitation giving way to excitement.
The cold air immediately slapped against Juliet’s exposed face, but she wrapped her arms around herself to conserve warmth. As soon as they were out from under the shadow of the house the sun smiled down upon them, offering a little extra heat.
“We cannot stay outside long, but you’ll warm up soon with some exercise,” Solomon comforted Pearl as she burrowed her face in his neck. He looked over the top of Pearl’s head back to Juliet, that humorous glint reappearing in his eyes.
Juliet responded with a quizzical look, silently asking what in the world he had planned. Solomon simply raised his eyebrow, which Juliet took to mean that she would not find out until the precise moment he chose to reveal it.
They continued walking in silence for a few more minutes. Thankfully, the snow hadn’t piled up very high, making it easier to trudge over the grounds. Juliet had let her guard down, however, as her eyes remained locked on the back of Solomon’s head. Somehow, she could perfectly imagine his sly smile as he led them further away from the house for whatever farce he had planned. Because her focus remained on that patch of bare neck above his coat collar and his handsomely wide shoulders, Juliet had failed to keep watch for icy patches hidden amongst the snow.
Her stomach dropped as the heel of her walking boot slid against one such patch. She felt herself lurch backwards. “Ah!” A very unladylike yelp escaped Juliet as her arms flung up above her head, trying to regain balance.
She braced herself for the cold, hard, damp impact of the snowy ground against her bottom, dreading the moment her dress would become soaked through with half melted snow. But the impact never came. Instead, Juliet felt something warm, strong, and steadying—Solomon’s gloved hand gripping her elbow. She wobbled slightly as she finally found her footing. When Juliet looked up, she saw Solomon gazing at her with concern, Pearl still safely propped up by his other arm, peering around her uncle to see the commotion.
“Are you hurt?” he asked, his voice firm but worried.
In fact, Juliet was hurt, but not because of her near fall. Her heart hammered in her chest, bouncing around her ribcage in a very inconvenient and almost painful manner. A hot awareness radiated from her elbow, where Solomon still held her, all the way up to her face.
“Not hurt at all, my lord. I just slipped a little. Thank you for your help,” she mumbled, terrified that her heart would burst through her chest. This was the closest they had been in a while. Yes, she had put her hand on his arm in the drawing room the day Cecilia and the others left, but it had been a very light touch so she could pull away quickly if he reacted negatively to it. Solomon’s grip was firm, unwilling to let her go just yet.
“Are you sure?” He stared at her intently, eyes narrowed slightly. Juliet knew he wanted her to tell the truth. He’d said that before—that she must always tell him the truth.
Juliet nodded a touch too enthusiastically. “Very sure.” The half-truth slipped out with a minor tremble, but Solomon finally removed his hand, returning it to Pearl’s back to continue rubbing warmth into her. Juliet immediately missed the contact, but she busied herself with straightening her bonnet, which had come loose during her slip and looser still with her lively nod.
“Please take my arm,” Solomon offered, angling his elbow out to Juliet. She smiled and slipped her arm through his, reveling in his strength and warmth once more.
The three of them walked a little further, Juliet on one of Solomon’s arms and Pearl on the other, when an odd thought struck Juliet. Any stranger watching this scene would surely assume that they were a family enjoying a chilly day out exploring their lands. Her heart raced again, her cheeks reddening. She ardently hoped that Solomon would not notice.
Family? She scolded herself for entertaining such a foolish thought for even a moment. They had only just recently become friends again. She’d gotten too far ahead of herself. Besides, she had decided for herself long ago that a family would not suit her. In Juliet’s eyes, a family might be one type of fulfillment, but having a family came with its own set of rules that would not allow her to pursue any other types of fulfillment.
“Miss Richards? Are you sure you are well? Your face is quite red.” Solomon’s voice shattered Juliet’s thoughts and she felt herself go redder still.
Her uncomfortable chuckle turned into an awkward cough. “Yes, yes, I am quite well. I’m sure it must be the cold causing me to look rosier than usual, but I assure you I am warming up by the second.” Juliet infused her voice with as much casual cheer as possible. She still could not bear to look Solomon in the face. Instead, she trained her gaze to the ground before her, carefully watching for any more ice patches that could spell doom, her bonnet blocking her view of the earl beside her.
Just before she looked away, Juliet noticed an intensely thoughtful expression on hi
s face, as if he didn’t quite believe her, as if he hoped he’d guessed the real cause behind her blush.
They continued in silence for the rest of their walk, Juliet’s body burning up in her embarrassment. In truth, she barely felt the cold at all anymore. She prayed that they would stop soon so she could put some distance between herself and Solomon—though she knew that would not necessarily help. Even just having him in her line of sight seemed to set her aflame these days.
To Juliet’s great relief, they did stop soon. Both Pearl and Juliet glanced around at the empty expanse of slowly melting snow all around them while Solomon tilted his chin up, clearly proud of something though Juliet could not fathom what.
“Well, we have arrived,” he announced with grandeur.
Juliet continued to look about but all she saw besides the long stretch of snow was the castle looming behind them and the orchard further out in the distance. “And where exactly have we arrived, my lord?” she asked, a hint of incredulity creeping into her question.
Solomon merely lifted an eyebrow at her, prompting Juliet to chide herself once more. She had no right to speak with such familiarity to her employer, even if they had become friends and used each other’s Christian names in private. Solomon would always be her employer first.
Solomon smiled instead of scolding and set Pearl down on the ground. He stepped forward, his spine perfectly straight and shoulders pulled back with confidence. When he turned to face the ladies, a conspiratorial smile pulled up at one corner of his mouth. “Pearl, Miss Richards, prepare yourselves. We will soon meet a very special new friend here.”
Embracing The Earl's Dream: A Clean Regency Romance (Resolved In Love Book 4) Page 9
