by Deany Ray
Celeste had surprised me too that day, teasing giggles from a child and from a frightened Marge, laughing with her family. She was all business when she had to be, but it was nice to see her let it go sometimes.
And me? Maybe I had it in me to pull off a few surprises. I hoped so anyway.
The goodbyes meant another round of hugs along with promises to get back together soon.
“You girls are family now,” one of the cousins said.
An auntie kissed my cheek. “You’re good people,” she said to me and Marge. “You mean a lot to Celeste.”
Marge nodded politely, but was quiet – unusual for Marge. She was still shaken, I could tell, and ready to be gone. But the goodbyes seemed to take forever. People flitted from group to group, full of gossip and of chatter, as if they hadn’t just spent hours catching up on news.
Celeste came to our rescue. “I’ll bring them back. I promise,” she said to the knot of people surrounding me and Marge. “But for now, we need to run.”
Along with Eddy (who seemed to have recovered), we regrouped at Marge’s car. Celeste spoke in a low voice. “I say we follow up on what we heard from Uncle Moe. Let’s take a ride and see what we can find out on Moraine Avenue. I’m not sure what to look for, but maybe something will jump out at us as seeming out of place.”
Eddy stood up straighter. “I agree. Let’s do it.”
“Marge, you’re up for it?” I asked.
Marge pumped her fist up in the air. Guess she was.
Eddy turned to me. “If this gets too dangerous, you can stay close to me.”
Sheesh. He was back.
Celeste rolled her eyes. “This is not a lonely hearts club, cuz.”
“If we want to stick close and things get really scary,” I said, “how will we figure out which bench you’re hiding under?”
Eddy stared.
“Did I miss something?” Marge asked.
I waved it away. “Nothing important. But we now know who’s the bravest of us four.”
“Yeah, Eddy, what was that all about?” Celeste asked. “I saw you hiding like a little girl when you should have been helping out.”
“He did what?” Marge eyes grew wide.
Eddy turned red and mumbled something about being one tough dude and women who run their mouths about things they didn’t understand.
It took Marge and me everything we had to suppress our giggles. What a loser this guy was.
I followed the others in my car and when we got to Moraine Avenue, I took the first free parking spot and jumped into Marge’s back seat. The only available spot, of course, was next to Eddy. Joy. I hoped by now he had the good sense to shut up.
He glanced at me like he was about to speak. I silenced him with a glare. Then he simply crossed his arms and turned toward the window.
The street was fairly busy with late-afternoon traffic and people making their way down the sidewalks. It was a well-established area with restaurants and shops. There were also office buildings, some of them several stories high.
“What’s the plan?” Marge asked.
Celeste glanced at her long nails. Eddy touched a muscle on his arm, as if checking to make sure it hadn’t fallen off when he wasn’t looking. No one had an idea.
I studied the back of Marge’s seat. Hmm. This was going well.
“Surveillance?” I asked. “If we set up surveillance, maybe we’ll get lucky.”
“Yeah, guess it’s the only thing we can do right now,” Marge said.
I knew it was the only thing, but I still hated it. Surveillance was the worst. Surveillance was a lot of doing nothing, and your legs, they went all numb, and then you went for sodas and coffee because, well, because you were so bored. The sodas and coffee made you have to pee, so you had to rush and find a bathroom. To use a restaurant’s bathroom, you had to order something, so you got a soda or coffee, and that made you have to pee and…well, you understand the cycle. Surveillance was the pits.
Maybe this time I could try to be more creative in keeping myself awake and making the time go by more quickly. I could skip the food and drinks that were the usual way of keeping myself entertained. Thanks to the Ortizes, I’d had enough food and drink to last me for a while.
Absently, I pushed back my glasses and touched my eyebrows – or what was left of them. I wondered how I would explain their absence to my mom and dad. My dad would turn my missing eyebrows into a knock-knock joke; Brad would have a field day making fun of me. And my mom would most probably want to conduct a cleansing ritual so that they’ll grow faster. It was gonna be so bad.
“Surveillance. That works. Let’s do it.” Celeste tucked her bright hair into a scarf that made her look less like Celeste and more like just another harried shopper with errands and appointments on the somewhat busy street. She kept a selection of scarves in Marge’s glove compartment. You never knew when you might need to go incognito for a while.
Eddy shifted in his seat and craned his neck forward. He opened the door and jumped out from the car. He studied the row of buildings on his left. He glanced to his right. He stared straight ahead. So much for keeping a low profile.
Celeste rolled down her window. “What are you doing?” she asked in a loud whisper.
Without bothering to answer his cousin, he got back in the car. “We need to move the car and park one block down from here. See that gray building to the left?” He pointed.
We craned our necks to see.
“We need to park where we can watch that building,” he said.
“Why?” Marge asked. “It looks like any other building.”
Eddy leaned back in his seat, pleased with his discovery. “That’s where they’re likely operating, the people that we’re after.”
“And how do you know that?” I asked.
“I’m curious about that myself,” Celeste said.
“Think about it,” Eddy said. “If you’re up to no good, that’s the perfect place. That building doesn’t stand out and draw attention to itself. It’s gray and boring. Unlike most of the other buildings on this street. There’s a big tree in front of it that keeps you from seeing inside most of the windows; criminals like that. There’s coffee close by and sandwiches. It’s kind of perfect, really.”
We stared at him, amazed. He grinned, then winked at me. The old Eddy, it seemed, was back again.
I decided then and there that I needed to master the art of thinking like a bad guy. I could do some Googling to see if there were any classes in a thing like that. Eddy, I suspected, had some firsthand knowledge; he didn’t need a class. Actually, I’d really rather not know how Eddy knew the things he did.
Luckily, Marge found a place to park with a great view of the gray three-story building, where nothing much at all seemed to be going on, at least that we could see. No one came in or went out. A few windows were visible, but I only saw half-opened blinds in one, the edge of a tall furniture piece in another, and a lampshade. Guess we were gonna be there for a while.
I checked my email on my phone and looked at my Facebook page on the tiny screen, but my mind kept wandering; I felt restless, kind of anxious. Every few seconds I would look up to check out the scene, but nothing much was happening out the window.
As always when we got bored, Marge began to hum, and that was never good. The only way to stop the exuberant, off-key music, was to offer Marge a snack, and Celeste was on the case. I saw her reach to grab her purse.
“I’ve got the munchies,” she said. “I’ll be back in a few.”
“I’ll go with you,” I said, unbuckling my seat belt and longing for some hum-break.
Celeste shook her head. “Just one person at a time, I think, to limit the exposure.”
The humming got louder, and Marge began to nod her head to the beat.
I leaned back against my seat. “Okay, but hurry please.”
The time seemed to absolutely drag by. I watched the building, I watched the people walking on the street, then I watched the
building some more. A teenage couple passed by who seemed to be in some kind of argument. I watched as the girl pulled her arm from her companion’s and walked a little bit ahead.
I tried to distract myself by wondering what kind of snacks Celeste would bring. Cookies. I hoped she’d bring cookies. I was still full from the barbecue, but I could never pass up cookies.
The good news was that Marge soon fell fast asleep, with soft snores replacing the humming noise. The bad news was that I was left alone with Eddy. He knew better now than to put his hands where they weren’t wanted, but that didn’t stop him from watching me in a way that left no doubt about where his mind was.
To pretend that I was busy, I grabbed my phone and checked my email once again, although I never got good email. I pretended to be absorbed in the first message I could pull up. There’s Still Time to Save! Our Best Bra Sale of the Season! Great. All I needed was for Eddy to look over my shoulder at that.
Just as I was wishing hard for Celeste to show back up, there she was at the door, as if summoned by the awfulness of my situation. She handed out hot dogs, candy bars, and sodas to the group, including Marge, who’d magically awakened in time to join in on the feast.
I looked down, amazed, at my lap full of food – more of a meal, really, than a snack. How crazy to be scarfing down all this food right after a barbecue, which had included second helpings – even thirds – and big plates of dessert. Apparently, that didn’t stop me from shoving a big bite of hot dog into my mouth. All covered with mustard and relish, it looked, and was, delicious.
Eddy grabbed two hot dogs and some chocolate bars. “Thith iths tho gud.”
Marge munched thoughtfully on her candy. “This, I think, is my favorite thing about surveillance. I always love the snacks.”
“We excel at snacks,” Celeste said, her mouth full of food.
“Not a bad way to earn a living,” I unwrapped my candy bar. “You had a good nap too, Marge. A good nap and a good snack.”
“Way to go, Marge,” Celeste said, turning toward her friend. “Way to keep an eye out for criminal activity.”
“I think it was the barbecue that made me fall asleep,” Marge said with a sigh. “Food always makes me sleepy, and there was so much food.” She took a big bite of her hot dog. “Not that I didn’t love it. Oh my, that apple pie. And the cupcakes. Lemon cupcakes!”
I was trying to eat my candy carefully and not get crumbs on the car seat when I heard a tapping at the window. I almost dropped my food, imagining an angry criminal who’d somehow figured out what we were doing there. Slowly, I turned to look, expecting a scowl or, worse, the barrel of a gun.
Instead, I heard a familiar voice that seemed way out of place, muffled through the closed window. “Well, isn’t this just lovely? Surprise, surprise, surprise.”
All I could do was stare, open mouthed – probably crumbs and chocolate all over the sides of my mouth – at my mother.
I rolled the window down and saw my mother frown.
“That’s not…” she began in a mournful voice. “Charlie, dear, it that a hot dog?”
Uh oh. Busted.
There was just one answer to the question. I wished there was something – anything – that looked just like a hot dog but was, in fact, some other object altogether, some type of chickpea, tofu weenie thing.
“Yes, mom, this is a hot dog.” I cringed. “Celeste got us snacks.”
I’d thought about blaming Eddy. I could have told my mother I was just holding the offending hot dog for my friend who made unhealthy choices, but the mustard on my right cheek might have told another story.
“Oh, Charlie.” My mother put her hand to her chest. “How disappointing, sweetheart. What about our plans to be healthy eaters? To feel happier and fitter and treat our bodies with respect?” She looked like she might cry.
I felt like the world’s most crappy daughter.
“And what about the…” my mom suddenly stopped speaking.
“What?” I asked in a panic. What did she see now?
“What happened to your eyebrows?” She pointed at my face with an incredulous look on her face.
Darn it. Maybe I should get some fake fur and craft some fake eyebrows.
“It was, uhm, an accident,” I said.
“How can anyone lose their eyebrows in an accident?” my mom asked.
“It just…happened.” I squirmed in my seat.
Thankfully, she let it go.
Mom peered into my lap and saw the empty candy wrapper. “Is that chocolate?”
Busted again. I lowered my head.
“I was going to make a prune and pheasant stew tonight,” she said. “You’ll ruin your appetite.”
I felt like a crappy daughter who was about to hurl.
“Oh, you won’t believe our appetites,” Marge said. “Our appetites are endless. Would you believe we’ve just left a barbecue and now we’re eating this?”
For Christ’s sake, Marge, what are you doing to me? Couldn’t she see I was in trouble?
Marge yammered on and on. “We ate mac and cheese and deviled eggs.”
Eddy chimed in too. “Buttered corn and pound cake.” He closed his eyes, savoring the memory.
My mom shuddered at the thought. “Oh, the sugar! So much starch! Corn? Did you say corn with butter? That will wreck your body, honey.” She shook her head in horror, as if her only daughter had fessed up to slathering her corn with cyanide.
Marge finally got it. With a smile still plastered on her face, she slowly began sneaking her candy into her purse.
“I do try to watch my sugar,” she said.
Celeste had carefully hidden the remainder of her hot dog in the small compartment on her door.
Eddy leaned forward and smiled. “Good afternoon, Mrs. Cooper. On the subject of keeping one’s body in the best shape, I can see where Charlie gets her charm.”
That sent my mother into a fit of giggles. “Oh, my goodness. Aren’t you sweet? I’m afraid I look like a mess. I ran out in such a hurry, but aren’t you a kind young man?”
No, Mother. No, he’s not.
She peered into the car and gave Eddy a big smile. “I don’t believe I’ve met you. I’m afraid my daughter hasn’t said a word about this very handsome and polite new man.”
I could feel Eddy preen beside me and I could feel my face turn red.
“There’s nothing to tell!” I quickly said. “He’s just helping with some jobs. This is Celeste’s cousin, Eddy.”
“Well, that’s delightful,” my mother said.
I could think of other words.
She held her hand out to Eddy. “Barbara Cooper. Pleased to meet you.”
He smiled. “The pleasure is all mine.”
She tried to nonchalantly fluff her cloud of hair before turning serious again. “Now, Charlie, I know it isn’t easy to change your habits all at once. You’re entitled to a slip-up. But, oh dear, I see so many slip-ups in this car. Did you know those sodas are full of sugar?
I lowered my head. “Yes, mom, I do.”
“Well,” she said, “tomorrow is a new day. I’m sure you’ll do better.”
Honestly, I wished she yelled at me. Her faith in me was way worse than that.
Eddy nodded with approval. “Charlie, you didn’t tell me your mother was so wise.” He turned to my mom. “I hope to see you again, ma’am, since I’m hoping to spend more time with your daughter.”
Like that’s ever going to happen.
My mom looked positively gleeful. “Well, isn’t that just lovely? You should come to dinner at our house!”
Ha. A great big bowl of prune stew was just what he deserved. Not that I was going to let the invitation stand. Here were two of my mother’s favorite things at once: a possible suitor for me and a dinner guest.
I changed the subject quickly. “Mom, what are you doing here?”
She clasped her hands together. “I found a great little shop with fresh vegetables.” She glanced with pride at a ca
nvas bag of groceries that hung loosely from her shoulder. “All organic, all from local farmers. I was leaving there just now when I saw Marge’s car.” She peered inside. “What are you girls doing here with this nice young man?”
I sensed more trouble coming. The last time my mother saw me with a nice young man, she really had insisted that he come to dinner. Parts of that night were magical. I still think a lot about the way it ended, with the most amazing kiss. Right after my mom gave poor Alex food poisoning (talk about embarrassing). It wasn’t her fault, I guess. Who knew he was allergic to the shellfish that she served?
I glanced at Eddy, who was still beaming at my mother. On the one hand, I kind of liked the idea of her nearly killing this one, but no way did I want Eddy around my family’s dinner table.
“We’re busy, mom,” I jumped in to say. “And Eddy has been working with us on some projects. He’s good with the computers. We were just looking for an address and really need to run, or we’ll miss our appointment. We’ve been running late all day.”
My mother frowned. “Yes, I imagine that it messes with your schedule, all that stopping for hot dogs and candy and barbecues and buttered corn.” She screwed up her face. “Marge, do you have a napkin? Charlie has mustard on her cheek. It hardly looks professional if you’re meeting with a client.”
This was getting really embarrassing.
“Sure,” Marge said. “Let me look for it.”
She rummaged through her black hole of a purse. “Just a sec. Almost got it.”
“That’s fine.” I held a hand up. “Here, it’s gone.” I used my hand to wipe away the mustard and end the humiliation.
Finally finding her voice, Celeste lifted her hand up in a wave. “Barbara, it was so nice to see you again. We need to get moving now, we don’t want to be late at our client’s house.” I saw her lean in and whisper something to Marge.
“Oh, but of course not. I don’t want to hold you up,” my mom said.
“Drive safely back home,” I said.
