He was right, of course. But I couldn’t stop thinking about it. “She dropped out of college to give her brother a kidney.” That part was shocking enough but when I told them the rest, their expressions were equally horrified. “What does it mean?” Nothing made sense and I dug into the spicy tomato and onion mixture covering the juicy chicken quarters. I couldn’t figure it out, but eating always helped me think.
All around the table, the guys and Mom still sat in a shocked silence while I ate. Eventually they all dug into the food, my question seemingly forgotten. But I should have known better.
“I saw these parents on Dr. Phil once—a couple had a second baby just so that child could provide donor material for their first child.” She shivered and shook her head. “It was heartbreaking but maybe that’s what she meant.”
It was like all the air had been sucked out of the room with her words. Of all the scenarios that had played in my mind, that one hadn’t even been a thought. “People really do shit like that?”
“Watch your mouth, son. And yes, they do.”
“Man, you were a murder detective,” Nate said and shook his head. “You know better than most all the fucked up shit people do to each other.”
“Mouth, young man.”
Mom was a stickler for profanity and Nate’s pink cheeks were proof of that. “Sorry, Mrs. Vargas.”
She grinned. “You’re a grown man. Call me Liz. But Nate is right. This isn’t news to you.”
No, it wasn’t. “Still, it’s just so unbelievable.” Could Elka’s parents have had her for the sole purpose of keeping her brother alive? It was too fucked up to be true.
“Maybe you should just leave Elka alone. You’ve made her time here very unpleasant and it sounds like she’s just looking for peace. Something about her rubs you the wrong way—maybe that’s a sign.”
Maybe my mom was right. But now that I knew her—now that I could have her if I wanted her—I did want her. I wanted to know more about what made her smile, what made her laugh. “Or maybe I’ve just been an asshole.”
“Not every woman is a liar, Antonio.” Preston sighed and finished chewing his food. “It took me a long time to realize that and to stop treating every woman I met like she was my mother in disguise.”
“Sounds like Preston will be walking down the aisle soon,” Tyson joked, but Preston didn’t deny it.
Was that what I did? Punish Elka for Sadie’s mistakes? Maybe I had because on those rare occasions when I thought about Sadie these days, there wasn’t sadness in her depths the way there was with Elka. There had been fear, but I knew it was fear that I’d find out who, no what, she was. But behind Elka’s sunny disposition was a deep sadness that was always there.
If you gave a damn enough to look.
“I think you gave him something to think about, Liz.” Ty’s laughter barely penetrated my thoughts, which stayed on Elka for the rest of the night.
Elka
“I’m not really in the mood.” Janey showed up on my doorstep fifteen minutes ago and ordered me to get ready for trivia night at Black Thumb.
“No one is ever in the mood for trivia night. Until they get there.” She beamed a pretty smile at me that I just knew got her everything she wanted in this town. “Come on. What have you got to lose?”
Nothing, really. Because I had nothing and no one. “Good point. Give me ten minutes.” I could use a night of beer and useless facts.
“Take twenty minutes. And maybe, you know, do something with your hair. Looks like it hasn’t been combed in days.”
It hadn’t been, but I didn’t need her to tell me that, because it was nobody’s business but mine. “Thanks, Janey.”
“Anytime. What’s going on with you anyway?”
“Nothing, just not feeling very social today.” Or any day for the last few weeks. I escaped to my bedroom before Janey could ask any more questions. Fifteen minutes later, I was showered with clean hair, fresh clothes, and nothing but lip gloss on my face. “Okay, let’s do this.”
“It’s trivia and booze, Elka, not the firing squad.” She wrapped an arm around me and pulled me towards the door, even as I cast one last longing look at my TV and sofa.
The Black Thumb was fairly packed for the middle of the week. As soon as we arrived, Nina and Max waved us over. “I can’t believe she got you out of the house. I thought you were going the rich eccentric route,” Nina said instead of saying hello. “I’m hosting tonight, so make me proud, ladies.”
Max wrapped me in a welcome hug and shoved me into the chair beside her. “I haven’t seen you since girls’ night. Thought you might have left town.”
I shrugged because I didn’t want to lie, but I couldn’t tell these nice people that I was planning to leave their adorable little town in the dust. “Just been busy. Working.” That much was true anyway. I spent plenty of time in my workspace creating new scents and finding new ways to market my wares.
“You’re leaving.” Her words were low enough so that no one else heard, but I did. “Why? I thought you liked it here.”
“I do. I love it, but I just can’t do this anymore, Max. I just want to … be.” I didn’t want to spend my entire life apologizing for my existence, for being who I was. I couldn’t do that.
On the other side of the trivia-host podium was another table with Preston, Ry, Nate, Antonio, Dr. Cahill, and a few others I’d seen around town but hadn’t met yet. Antonio, true to form, had kept his distance over the past week and I was grateful. Only grateful. Not disappointed at all.
Only now that I was here in the bar, he kept casting looks my way when he thought I wasn’t looking. But I didn’t need to see him to know he was there. I could feel him. I could feel the weight of his gaze as it slid down my back and grazed over the curve of my butt. The looks made me shiver but I refused to look at him, to acknowledge his existence.
“And that sound means it’s time for our first break of the evening. Be back in five or get a one-point penalty.” Nina looked at both teams, more like glared, before she disappeared into Buddy’s office where Preston followed a few moments later.
I took advantage of the break, darting outside for some peace and fresh Texas air. The sun had just set, leaving streaks of gold and purple in the sky, and I closed my eyes to take in big lungfuls of crisp evening air. A low buzzing tried to penetrate my attempt at peace. A quick glance at the phone in my pocket showed it was my parents. Again. I tapped the ignore button and leaned against the brick face of the building, eyes closed as peace settled over me.
“You shouldn’t be out here alone.”
I knew my peace wouldn’t last for long. “I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself, Antonio.”
“Maybe, but precaution doesn’t cost a thing.”
I guessed I’d have to save the peace for later. Pushing off the wall, I barely spared him a glance. “Duly noted, deputy.” The door was less than ten feet away and I was halfway there when I felt his hand wrap around my bicep. “Why are your hands on me, Deputy Vargas?”
“Back to that, are we?” He shook his head and let me go. “I thought we were past all that.”
“Did you? Why?” As far as I knew, nothing had changed, except an entire week had passed without him calling or insinuating that I was a liar.
“Hell, I don’t know. It’s just … shit. Ah, hell.” One second later, Antonio’s big body was in my personal space, blocking out anything and everything that wasn’t his broad shoulders and wide chest. One hand cupped my face and tilted my head back a second before his lips crashed down on mine. His body pressed mine against the cool hard brick. The kiss was hot as hell—better than the others. Hell, it was super hot because it felt like my panties had gone up in flames instantly.
The moment his tongue touched mine, my body exploded just a little. Thousands of tiny explosions went off behind my eyes, deep in my veins. Something took over me, longing or need, and I sucked his tongue, making him groan. That sound sent tingles running all over my skin
just as he grabbed my ass and pulled me close. Really close. So close I could feel just how hard he was behind his zipper.
I was so wrong about his gaze. His hands felt even better on my ass than his gaze had. Fire pulsed through my veins and his hands were everywhere, on my breasts and down my waist to cup my ass. Again. Then his fingers speared through my hair and held me while his tongue plunged the depths of my mouth, making me moan and making my body vibrate with desire.
My hand slowly joined the party, running over his big hard pecs and down his six-pack abs before I boldly brushed my knuckles over his denim-covered erection. Antonio jumped back, his hazel eyes wide like he’d touched a live wire. “We can’t. Not here.” His words came out like sharp pants, and I had to bite back a smile.
“You mean, you want to?” I was so confused by his behavior. By the kisses, the hot and cold behavior. I didn’t even know which way was up anymore.
“Of course I do.” He flashed that grin that did naughty things to my body and all I could think about was what came next. Did we get naked? Sex? Would I get an orgasm?
“Vargas, get your ass back in here! We’re starting,” Ry called out and the moment was over.
Antonio looked at me with a wide grin, winked, and ducked back inside, leaving me to wonder what in the hell “of course” meant. Did he mean, “of course I want to have sex with a willing woman” or with me? I was out of my depth and breathless by the time I rejoined the girls at the table where a fresh round of ice-cold beer had been set in front of each seat.
But as the final round got under way, another thought occurred to me. Antonio didn’t like me but he wanted me and I pretty much felt the same, which meant that I could—theoretically—have sex with him without getting my emotions involved. Couldn’t I?
“Are you paying attention?” Janey whispered.
“Sorry. Bill Clinton is the answer.” I was too distracted to be here, but I’d promised. “Have you ever slept with a guy just for the sex?”
Max stared at me, shocked at first, but then understanding dawned. “Yes, and I highly recommend it, but just remember that no form of birth control works every time.”
“That’s true,” Penny chimed in. “If you don’t want him for more than a night, imagine having to spend the next thirty Thanksgivings and Christmases and birthdays with him.” Penny’s ex had recently started making an effort to see their son, so I understood her point. “They’ll always be there. Always.”
Bo leaned in and whispered, “If Nina were here, she would tell you to only sleep with the wrong guy until you’re ready for the right one.”
“Why?” I asked, intrigued by this counterintuitive advice.
“Because falling for the wrong guy sucks.”
“I haven’t fallen for any guy. Ever.” Maybe I needed some good old-fashioned heartbreak. It was an experience—not one I was looking forward to—but maybe that part couldn’t be helped. I was pretty sure I wanted to have sex, for real this time, with Antonio.
“Don’t sleep with him,” Janey warned. “Sorry, but I don’t think you’re the casual-sex type.”
“I’m not. But maybe I could be.” Maybe casual sex was what I needed. For me. Just for me.
Antonio
I stood on Elka’s doorstep and took a few deep breaths, hoping she wouldn’t kick me in the nuts for not following up with her after trivia night ended. I wanted to. God, I wanted it more than I wanted my next breath. But she needed a night to think on it, to make sure it was what she wanted. Fuck it. I pressed the doorbell and held my breath. Besides, I had a secret weapon.
The door opened and there she was, long blond hair falling around her shoulders, still slightly damp from a recent shower. And I knew the whole universe was conspiring against me because she wore another of those flirty little dresses, this one a pale-peach color with small white flowers everywhere. It was the kind of dress that made a man spend all evening wondering what was underneath. “Antonio, what are you doing here?”
“Feeding you.” I flashed a smile that had gotten me out of trouble dozens of times over the years, especially with women, as I lifted the bags filled with food.
She blinked once and stepped back. It wasn’t joy on her face but it wasn’t fear either. “All right.”
Her easy yes felt like a trap, but I was trying not to be cynical. “You’re not gonna fight me on it?”
“I don’t think I have to anymore, do I?” She wrapped her arms around her waist in a protective gesture and took another small step back.
I frowned, searching her face for signs of deception. “Because we kissed?”
She rolled her eyes. “No, Antonio. Because you got the answers you were looking for and you’re done with me. This dinner is to make you feel better. I love food so I’m willing to give it a shot.” It almost felt like she was challenging me to prove her wrong.
“You’ve got me all figured out, don’t you?”
“Not even close,” she said and pushed the door closed, twisting the lock before darting around me and walking to the kitchen. It took me a second to stop staring at her shapely legs and her rainbow-colored toenails, before I followed her inside. “But I’ve got this all figured out.”
“You’re wrong, Elka. I’m here for you.” I stared at her until she looked up at me, until she was unable to look away. Her blue eyes darkened the moment she saw the dark intent in my eyes.
“For sex, you mean?”
My lips twitched at her attempt at boldness. “That too. I want you, Elka, make no mistake about that, but I also want to make up for what happened last time.”
She licked her lips. “How do you plan to make it up to me? It’s not like we can change the past.”
I set the bag on the counter and walked to where she stood, bracketing her between my arms and I leaned in close to whisper in her ear. “You want me to tell you?”
“I do,” she whispered, or maybe it was a pant.
“First, I’d start by licking your sweet little pussy until you beg me to stop.” She let out a strangled moan and my tongue darted out to trace the shell of her ear. “You liked hearing that.”
Elka cleared her throat and looked up at me with desire in her eyes. “I don’t know what I like, but yeah, that sounds nice.”
“Nice?” I planned to show her anything but nice. “I’ll show you nice, but first I need to get this food into the oven.” And I needed a moment to get my body, namely my cock, under control. I didn’t know why my body had chosen her. All I knew was that I was powerless to resist it any longer. “There are Caipirinha ingredients in that second bag.”
She blinked, twice, before her legs began to move. “Right. What’s in a Caipirinha?”
“Get some ice and I’ll make it.” Thankfully Mom put everything in glass containers that went in the oven easily, so all I had to do was set the timer and turn back to Elka. “Thirsty?”
She nodded slowly, unable to tear her eyes away from my face. “Parched.”
“Good. All you need for a good Caipirinha is cachaça, sugar, and lime. Mix the lime and the sugar, add ice, and then booze.” I swirled it around and did it again, handing Elka one of the glasses. “To starting over.”
She lifted her glass with a small smile and took a sip. “Cold and delicious. Thank you.”
I could barely taste the drink on my tongue because my body hummed with desire for her, and hers for me, if the stiff peaks of her nipples were any indication. “If you want to stop, just say so.”
She nodded and finished her drink quickly. “You don’t owe me anything, Antonio.”
“Maybe not, but you gave me something precious and I didn’t cherish it the way I should have. Tonight, I’m going to make this as good as it should have been the first time.” That was the least of what I planned to do. In addition to satisfying my own hunger for her, I planned to show her just how good sex could be.
“Not too good though, right?” She pointed an accusatory finger at me. “I’ve heard that really good sex can mak
e a woman think she wants more from a guy. Even the wrong guy.”
“You think I’m the wrong guy?” That shouldn’t have hurt, but it did, dammit. “How about you just tell me when you’ve had enough?”
That shut her up and I pressed my advantage, slamming down my glass and cupping her face just in time to swallow her moan of pleasure. Her mouth was even sweeter than the sugar. I couldn’t get enough. I plunged my tongue deep in her mouth while her hands clung to my shoulders, slid down my arms, then back up again. Soft, delicate fingers explored the expanse of my chest and worked their way down my abs until I pressed my body against hers. Her knuckles brushed against my cock and that was it, my control snapped. Elka was in my arms and I was headed towards the living room and her big, oversized chair where I tossed her down.
“Antonio,” she panted, eyes wide as I dropped to my knees in front of her.
“Yes?” I palmed her knees and spread them wide. “Did you need something?”
She nodded and kept her mouth open in a perfect little “o,” eyes unable to look away from my hands as they disappeared under her dress.
“I’ve been wondering what’s under here since you opened that door, Elka.” Lace. White lace. I slid them over her hips and down her legs until she was bare and open. Just for me. I licked her once and she cried out at the same time as her hips bucked against me.
“Oh!” I did it again, licking her slow at first and then faster as her sounds grew louder, more guttural. Her fingers threaded in my hair and wrapped around the locks, practically pulling it from my scalp but I didn’t give a damn. “Oh my! Antonio!”
She ground against me, a move that made my cock so hard, I thought it my break through my boxers and jeans. I loved eating pussy as much as the next guy, but the sounds Elka made had my cock leaking already. I growled and slipped my tongue inside of her slick heat, smiling when she began to grind against me, chasing down her pleasure. I was hard and aching to bury myself deep inside her.
Mr. Cop: An Enemies to Lovers Romance Page 12
