by Carrie Elks
“What happened to your night?”
“Oh no,” Ally said, pulling two white mugs from under the counter and filling them from the pot that was always warming on the side. “You’re not side tracking me that easily. First tell me about your night, and I mean all the gory details.”
It took her ten minutes to bring Ally up to speed with everything that had happened the previous night. From bumping into Adam Michaelson, to that kiss on the beach that still made Ember’s chest ache when she thought about it. In spite of Ally’s request, she tried to keep the details as gory-free as possible.
“What do you mean there are no rules?” Ally asked when Ember had told her about her discussion with Lucas that morning. “Are you guys just friends-with-benefits or something?”
“No!” Ember said, shaking her head. “We’re just trying not to make things complicated.”
“But you slept with him, right?” Ally asked, tipping her head to the side.
“Yeah.”
“So it’s already complicated.”
“How?” Ember asked her. “Just because you sleep with somebody doesn’t mean things have to get serious. We’re women of the new millennium, aren’t we? Surely we can have rule-free sex if we want.”
“But you’ve always loved rules,” Ally pointed out. “You’re the poster girl for them. You’re always early for any appointment you have. I’ve never seen you drive even a mile an hour above the speed limit. When we were at school you never missed a day or a homework assignment.” She shook her head.
“Lucas is hardly a homework assignment.”
“No, but there’s a reason you always obey the rules. Because you like them. They make you feel safe. In fact, I’d go as far as to say you thrive on them. You’re not a casual relationship kind of girl.”
Ember’s face fell. “I’m the one who asked for no rules,” she told her friend. “I don’t want anything for people to gossip about, and you’re the one who’s always telling me to live for the moment and stop worrying about the future. I thought this was a good thing.”
Ally bit her lip. “I’m sorry,” she said, giving a deep sigh. “And you’re right. You deserve to have some fun and it’s none of my business what kind of relationship you have with Lucas. If you’re happy then I’m happy. Because if anybody deserves happiness, it’s you, Ember Kennedy.” She busied herself refilling their mugs and pouring some cream in. “Just ignore me. I’m tired and cranky.”
“So what happened last night?” Ember asked her. “What kept you awake for so long?”
“The same thing that’s been keeping me awake for weeks,” Ally said, taking a slow sip of her coffee. “This place.”
Ember sighed and looked around the café. In spite of the beautiful view onto the ocean, it was looking more than a little tattered inside. Ally had been trying to keep the place going for the past few months with no help from her father, and Ember knew her friend was injecting her own money into the place – money she barely had – to keep it going. She hated seeing her friend being taken advantage of.
“Have you heard from your dad?” Ember asked.
Ally shook her head. “He hasn’t answered a single call or email, maybe his phone has broken or something.” From the way she said it, Ally clearly knew she was making excuses.
“He can’t even be bothered to call you?” Ember asked, feeling fury wash over her again. “Ugh, I could strangle that man sometimes. It’s not fair that he’s gallivanting about God knows where, leaving you to this place.”
“It’s okay,” Ally said, though her facial expression said otherwise. “I managed to move some money around so I can pay off a few of the bills. At least that will get the suppliers off my back for a while.”
“And what about next time?” Ember asked. “And the time after that? He’s expecting too much from you. How much longer can you keep this place afloat? And how much more of your own money do you have to spend doing it? You’d be better off getting a job, at least that way you wouldn’t be working every hour God sends you.”
“But if I get another job, this place will close down,” Ally told her. “And I can’t bear to see that happen. I grew up in here – every memory I have is in here. Of my mom, my dad, you guys.” Her voice dropped. “If I lost this place, I’d lose myself. I don’t know who I’d be without it.” Her face crumpled. “I’ll do whatever it takes to keep it open.”
Ember reached out and squeezed her friend’s hand, immediately regretting bringing the subject up. How the heck did they get to this place – Ember having to start her life all over again, Ally scrabbling around to keep the café open. And Brooke still living at home – or at least in her parent’s bungalow – trying her best to be a single parent.
It wasn’t exactly how they’d planned their lives out.
A sigh passed her lips as she remembered their childhood dreams. The three of them were going to share a house on the beach, and wake up each morning to a view of the ocean. Brooke was going to be a vet, Ally was going to have her own restaurant, and Ember was going to write novels. And then, one day, when they met the right guys, they’d build two more houses and live next door to each other.
Yeah, funny how dreams didn’t come true.
“How can I help?” Ember asked her, wanting to do whatever she could to keep at least one of their dreams alive.
“Just be here for me. Tell me it’s going to be okay, even if it isn’t.”
“It’s going to be okay,” Ember deadpanned.
For the first time, Ally smiled. “You see, that’s why I love you. Always the optimist. Which brings me back to Lucas Russell. When are you going to tell him how you really feel about him?”
Ember rolled her eyes but said nothing. She didn’t need to, after all. She and Lucas knew what they were doing, and that was all that mattered. They were friends. They liked spending time together. More than anything, they liked going to bed with each other. Whatever happened later, she’d deal with.
It was a completely balanced relationship – and if there were benefits, they enjoyed them equally. As far as she was concerned, there was nothing wrong with that.
20
Lucas fitted the final door to the cabinet and stood back to admire his handiwork. All the technical work in the cottage was now done. Only the cosmetic work was left to finish. He had a working bathroom, a kitchen he could cook in, and electrics that didn’t spark every time he pressed a button. Once it was painted, the cottage would look modern and bright – ready for somebody to move in and love it.
He wasn’t sure he was ready to let it go, he’d put so much work into the place it was starting to feel like home. Somewhere he looked forward to coming back to. Somewhere he wanted to build memories in.
And yet he knew once he was back at work he wouldn’t be able to take care of it the way the cottage deserved. The best he could do would be to spend a night or two here a week – and he knew from experience that he’d sleep for the whole time. He was pretty sure his grandparents would have hated that as much as they would have hated the way he’d neglected it for so long.
The right thing to do would be to sell it or rent it out, and yet it hurt to think about doing either.
His phone ringing in his pocket brought him out of his thoughts. He lifted it out and read the display. Chief Simons. Blinking, he swiped to answer, lifting it to his ear.
“Afternoon, Chief.”
“Lucas, how are you doing? I just thought I’d check in with you.”
“I’m good. Still renovating my cottage. Should be finished in a week or two.” It was strange to hear her voice. For the first week he’d been here he would’ve given anything for her to call him and ask him to come back to work. Now it left him with a strange feeling in the pit of his belly.
“You’ve been busy. I heard from Mitch Lakin that you’ve been working hard at the station, too. He’s very grateful for your help.”
“I’ve enjoyed it. He’s a good man.”
“Yes he is.” Chi
ef Simons cleared her throat. “You sound relaxed. That’s good.” There was a smile in her voice. “Mitch told me you even got involved in the local fair. I have to admit I was surprised.”
Yeah, well he’d surprised himself with how much he’d enjoyed it. Strange how good things happened when you let go of the outcome.
“Anyway,” Chief Simons continued, “There’s a reason for my call. Marcus has requested some leave for personal reasons. I was wondering if you’d be ready to come back next week.”
“You want me back that soon?”
“Only if you’re ready. If you think you need longer, I can look for another replacement.”
He did want longer, but not because he wasn’t up for the job. It was because he’d only just begun to get to know Ember Kennedy. The thought of ending what felt like some kind of honeymoon was a kick to the gut.
But he was Lieutenant Russell first and foremost. Dedicated to his job. “I’m ready,” he said, trying to push down that feeling of unease. “Email me over the shift rota, and I’ll be there.”
“That’s wonderful, Lucas. Thank you for your help.” Chief Simons sounded effusive. “We’ve missed you here. We’ll be glad to have you back.”
“Likewise,” Lucas said, though he wasn’t so sure.
“Well, enjoy your last week of freedom and we’ll see you soon.” With that, Chief Simons ended the call and Lucas found himself sliding his phone back into his pocket.
He waited for a sense of relief to come over him at the thought of going back to his job, but it didn’t come. Instead he thought of Ember again. Of those nights where they’d make love until they were both sated, falling asleep in each other’s arms.
He’d felt a level of peace he’d not experienced in a long time, and now he’d have to give that up. He swallowed hard, as he realized it wasn’t the only thing he’d have to give up.
Yeah, they’d agreed not to define things, but even the easiest of relationships weren’t compatible with working twenty-four hour shifts at White City. Half the time he wouldn’t be around to see her at all, the other half he’d be too exhausted and too tightly wound up to be able to spend any time with her.
His hand curled into a fist at the thought of this thing between him and Ember ending as quickly as it had begun. For the first time in forever he’d felt easy and happy, and a whole load of other emotions he didn’t want to quantify right now.
But what choice did he have? He’d seen too many of his colleagues’ relationships break down because of the demands of the job. The higher you climbed, the more likely it was for your marriage to fail – the statistics bore that out. Hell, his own experience bore it out, too. Look at the way Mandy had left, saying she didn’t want to stay with him if he continued to be married to the fire department.
He knew in his heart that relationships – even casual ones – weren’t compatible with the kind of dedication he showed to his job. It was a choice between happiness at home and happiness at work.
Or maybe unhappiness at both.
But it was what he wanted, wasn’t it? Firefighting was his life. Everything else was less important. Even beautiful girls who made his heart speed up every time he saw them.
If he were a kid he’d tell himself playtime was over. It was time to get back to the serious stuff.
“Hey.” Ember’s lips broke into a smile as soon as she saw him, and Lucas returned that smile right back. He brushed the hair from her face, curling his palm around the back of her neck as he leaned in to get a taste of that smile.
It was delicious.
The door to her apartment was still open as he slid his hands down her back, cupping her behind as their kisses became frantic. She looped her arms around his neck, pushing her body against his, and for a second they were nothing more than a hot ball of sensation.
And then the oven timer went off.
“Damn!” she said, pulling away. “The cookies are ready. I don’t want them to burn.” She left him standing at her apartment door and ran across the room to the kitchen, grabbing an oven mitt to shield her hand from the heat.
Lucas reached up and touched his bottom lip, running a finger along the soft skin there. He already missed the sensation of her mouth against his. Then she opened the oven and the aroma of vanilla cookies wafted across the room, his stomach rumbling at the smell.
For a moment it felt as though he’d stepped back in time. Walking into the family home, greeted by a wife in her apron, and the sweet smell of baking. And if he was honest, it felt strange, because it was so far from anything he’d ever known. His mom hadn’t really been the baking type – the family consensus was that Deenie Russell could burn water if she tried – and he’d never hankered for the kind of life that divided men and women into hunter and home keeper. He couldn’t think of anything worse.
And yet they really did smell good.
“You didn’t have to bake for me,” he said, pulling the door closed behind him as he walked inside. He kept his voice light, yet it still felt strange.
“That’s good,” Ember replied, pulling the tray out of the oven and putting it on the stovetop. “Because I didn’t. These are for my class tomorrow.”
“You bake for the class?” Lucas frowned. “What kind of teacher are you? All the kids must be in love with you.”
She laughed. “They’re not to eat. They’re for the class to decorate. They’re dinosaur cookies.” She tentatively lifted one up with the edge of her fingertips. “This one’s a T-Rex, see?”
He walked over and looked at it. The shape had the barest resemblance to the king of dinosaurs. It still looked good enough to eat, though. “You want me to check if they’re edible?” he asked her. “You wouldn’t want to give the class a bad batch.”
He reached out for a cookie and she batted his hand away. “Not that one,” she said. Instead she picked one up from the other side of the tray. He frowned, trying to work out what kind of dinosaur it was.
“Is it a velociraptor?” he asked her, trying to think of all the different names. “Or a diplodocus?”
“It’s supposed to be a triceratops,” she said, sighing. “But it looks more like an egg, so you can have that one.”
He took a bite, savoring the sugar and vanilla as it coated his tongue. “Well it tastes a lot better than it looks.”
“Am I supposed to be flattered?” she asked him, raising an eyebrow.
“Nope. Just telling you how it is. You’re a better cook than you are dinosaur maker. Isn’t that a good thing?” He winked. “Maybe I should try another one, just to be sure.”
“They’re all the same,” she said, shaking her head. “One batch of dough, fifty cookies.”
“But what if being shaped as a T-Rex makes it taste different?” he asked her, trying to keep his voice serious. “Shouldn’t I try it out for the kids’ sake?”
“If you touch it, you die. I’ve spent all evening making these damn things.” She folded her arms in front of her chest. “I have twenty children in my class and they need two cookies each, plus enough extra to throw away every time they drop one.”
“If they drop them, you should bring them home to me. Throwing them away would be a waste.”
“Since when did you become a cookie monster?”
“Since I walked in the door.”
“Well I’m glad I’ve impressed you.”
He stepped toward her, sliding his hands around her waist. “You don’t need to cook to impress me.”
“I don’t?” There was that smile on her face again, innocent yet with an edge of wicked.
“Nope. I just have to look at you to be impressed.” He lowered his mouth to her ear, pressing his lips against the soft shell. “Want to feel how impressed I am?”
“I can feel it,” she whispered back. “But that doesn’t impress me much.”
Lucas marveled again at how easy it was being with her. How easy it was to have a crazy conversation about cookies and make each other laugh. Not to mention how easily she
turned him on, with only one look from those melted-chocolate eyes.
He wanted more. Even though he knew it could be bad for them both.
“Let’s go to your room,” he said, leaning down to press his forehead against hers. God, she was beautiful. “The smell of those cookies is making me hungry.”
A slow grin broke out across her lips. “Sure, Lieutenant. Show me how impressive you can be.”
“You okay?” Lucas asked her, his voice thick and low. He pressed his mouth to her bare shoulder, kissing her over-heated skin.
“Mmm,” Ember replied. It was all she could vocalize right now. She felt too good, too warm, too everything to actually form words with her tongue. It was hard to decide what she liked more – their intense love-making or the sensual glow afterward, when he wrapped his arms around her and pressed his chest into her spine, the two of them curving against each other like perfectly-cut puzzle pieces.
She was enjoying this way too much for somebody who wanted to take things slowly. Her thoughts turned back to her conversation with Ally the morning after they’d first been together, and her friend’s assertion that Ember was falling for Lucas. Was it true? Maybe, but she really didn’t want to go there.
They’d agreed not to define what was going on between them. He’d been honest that his work was going to make things difficult. She had to accept it for now.
Lucas’ stomach rumbled against her ear.
She chuckled and looked up at him. “When was the last time you ate something?”
“I had a cookie about an hour ago. But I think I worked it off since then.”
And some. “There’s bread in the cupboard. You could make a sandwich if you’re hungry.”
“I can’t be bothered to move,” he said, burying his face in her hair. “Too comfortable here. You’ll just have to put up with my stomach, pretend it’s a dinosaur roar or something.”
