by Carrie Elks
“Let me help you look. I know a good realtor. I used her to find my place.”
“There’s no need, it doesn’t take two of us. And anyway, haven’t you got to work? From what I hear, the whole site would shut down without you,” she teased.
He grinned back at her. “Nobody’s irreplaceable, Brooke.”
“That’s pretty much what my dad hinted at.”
“What do you mean?”
“He said something about Nick living with them if I’m homeless.” She paused, thinking about his words. “Do you think he could make that happen?” she asked, alarmed. “Could he take Nick away from me?”
“I wouldn’t let him.” His words were like oil on troubled water. “Don’t worry about what hasn’t happened. He was probably spouting off.”
“But he did it before, didn’t he?” she asked softly. “He made sure he got his way by forcing you and your family out of town. Who’s to say he wouldn’t do it to me, too, if I was standing in the way of what he wanted?”
“Your father loves you, Brooke. I might not be his biggest fan, but not even he would steal a child from his mother. That would be crazy.”
She leaned back on the counter, her arm an inch away from his. She could feel the warmth radiating from him. “This is such a mess. And I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be offloading it all on you. You didn’t ask for this.”
“I want to help. That’s why I’m here.”
Her father would have said it was a typical Brooke move, expecting other people to help her with the mess she’d created. And maybe he’d be right. For too long she’d relied upon other people, expected them to clear up her mess. She could argue all she liked about her circumstances being bad, and not having the choices she wanted. But at the end of the day, she was luckier than most. She’d lived a life of privilege, and she knew it.
“You shouldn’t have to,” she told him. “It’s not fair you have to pay the price of my decisions again.”
“I never paid the price of your decisions,” he told her. “I loved your decisions.” He cleared his throat. “Back when we made them together, they were the best decisions ever.”
She tried to ignore the way her heart flipped at his words. It was only muscle memory, wasn’t it? “You always know how to say the right thing.”
He smiled. “Not really. But I always know how to say the truthful thing, so maybe that helps.”
“Will you let me know if he causes you any problems?”
“I can handle him, Brooke. I’m not afraid of your father. The only hold he ever had over me was my mom, and… yeah. He doesn’t have that any more.”
Another heart lurch. She was almost getting used to them. “Even so, let me know, okay?” She was feeling stronger. Amazing how he always knew the right words to say. It had been way too long since she’d heard them, though.
“Okay,” he agreed. “And I’ll meet you at the school in the morning.”
“Are you sure you don’t mind?” She liked the idea of him coming with her. Maybe too much.
“Yes, I’m sure. As long as you’re okay with it.” His voice was warm, soft. Like a blanket she wanted to wrap herself in.
She took a deep breath. He wasn’t asking her to marry him, he wasn’t asking her to give up her firstborn. He wasn’t asking for anything at all. They were two adults looking for a space she could call home. “Yes,” she said, smiling at him. “I’d like your help with apartment hunting.”
“In that case, I’ll see you in the morning.”
14
He could tell by the slump in her shoulders this apartment was the same as the last. He didn’t even need to step inside to take a look – it was a bust. He watched as the realtor pointed things out to Brooke, and she nodded, her face taking on a look of polite interest. But he knew her, and he knew what she looked like when she was getting dejected. No wonder. With the little money she had available, she could never afford anything better than this.
“And you’re certain your father couldn’t help with the lease?” the realtor asked for the second time. “With his backing, you’d be able to secure something better. I have a few new listings which might interest you.”
“No, I want to pay for this on my own.” Brooke looked around the tiny living space, her expression neutral as she took in the gouges on the walls, the threadbare stained carpet, the kitchen cupboard doors hanging off. “I’m sure with a bit of work I can make this look like home.”
Aiden couldn’t stand it anymore. For the past two hours he’d tried to be silent as they looked at apartment after apartment, watching as she slowly began to accept exactly what her wages could get them. A home far worse than the one he’d grown up in. No place for a child to live.
“Brooke, can I talk to you for a moment?” He glanced at the realtor. “In private?”
The realtor nodded. “I’ll be outside. Come and find me when you’re ready.”
A moment later she closed the door behind her, leaving them alone in the fleapit masquerading as an apartment. Brooke looked around again, this time letting the dismay pull at her expression, her bottom lip trembling as she took everything in. “Can you believe this is at the top range of my budget?” she asked him, her voice quiet. “I feel so stupid. Like a poor little rich girl finally mingling with the masses.”
His laugh was small but genuine. “You’re hardly that. Why would you know how much rent cost if you hadn’t needed to before?”
“Because I’m an adult. And I’m a mother, too. I should know these things. Especially if I’ve made my son homeless.” She bit her lip. He hated the way she looked so sad. He wanted to pull her into his arms, make everything okay.
There went his knight in shining armor complex again. He should trade his Mercedes in for a prize steed.
“You know the price of a loaf of bread, right?” he asked her.
She looked up at him, confused. “Yes.”
“And a gallon of milk?”
“Yeah. But what does that have to do with anything?”
He took a step toward her, wanting to cut through the space between them. “It means you’re not out of touch with reality. There’s no possible reason for you to study the real estate market unless you were planning to dive into it. And until this week, you didn’t have those plans.”
“I never intended to live with my parents forever,” she told him. “I was always planning to move out as soon as I got a job after graduating.”
“There you go.” Aiden shrugged. “And by that point you would be able to afford something better.”
She let out a big sigh. “I guess. And until then we’ll have to settle for a place like this.”
“No.” He shook his head. “Not this place.”
“Why not? It’s as good as the others we looked at. I’m sure I can do something with it.” She didn’t sound very certain, though.
“You can’t make the area any better than it is, though. It’s not safe.”
“You used to live around here.”
He raised an eyebrow. “That’s how I know it’s not safe.”
She tugged at her ponytail, letting out a sigh. “So what do I do? Apart from go back to my parents with my tail between my legs. And seriously, if I do that, I might as well give up. I’d be admitting I’m never going to grow up.”
“You are a grown up,” he told her. “But even grown ups need help sometimes.” He moved closer, until there were only a couple of feet between them. Her breath was shallow, making her chest rise up and down rapidly. He started to reach for her, but pulled back.
No, he couldn’t touch her. Not if he wanted to stay sane.
“Let me help you,” he said. She looked up at him, her eyes wide, but she said nothing. “I can put a deposit down for you. I have the money.”
She took another shallow breath, the air rushing between her lips. “I can’t ask you to do that.”
“You’re not asking, I’m offering. That’s different.”
She blinked a couple of times,
still staring at him. Two deep lines formed in her brow. “It’s not different, it’s the same. It’s me relying on other people when I should be able to support myself. Don’t you see, Aiden? I’ve spent too long letting people control me. I can’t do that any more.”
“You think I’d control you?” he asked her. Even the suggestion of it made him angry. “You think that’s what it’s about?”
Her eyes widened. “No, not at all. I know you wouldn’t. But I can’t keep doing this.”
His heart was pounding and he had no idea why. Being this close to her was like flying too close to the sun, beautifully blinding, and yet you knew it was going to kill you. “Nicholas is my nephew,” he said, trying to keep his voice even. “And you’re my friend. Let me help you until you can stand on your own two feet. How long is it until you graduate?”
“Three months, that is if I get my practicals finished on time.”
“And then?” he asked her. “What are your plans for afterward?”
“I’ve been offered a job at the local veterinary clinic. The pay’s not great, but it has good medical insurance and I need to have that for Nick.” Her face paled. “Oh shit, what if my parents stop his insurance too?” She lifted a hand to her mouth. “Jesus, what if he isn’t insured any more?”
He reached out and curled his fingers around her wrist, gently pulling her hand away from her face. But he didn’t let go. Instead, he slid his palm down until her hand was folded in his, their fingers threading together without either of them saying a word. He stared down at them – at her slim, elegant fingers – remembering the time he’d kissed every one of them as they promised each other forever. The times she used to touch him, hesitant at first, then bolder, making his skin break out in a rash of goosebumps.
“It’s going to be okay,” he told her softly. “He’ll be covered. If not by your parents, then by me. I’ll cover him. Stop panicking.”
“I can’t help it.” She squeezed his hand tightly. “I had a plan. I only needed to get through graduation. And now it’s all messed up, and it’s my fault. I’ve put Nick in danger. He’s got no home and he might have no insurance.” She looked up at him, her eyes glassy. “I’m a terrible mother. I should let him stay with my parents, shouldn’t I?”
He grabbed her free hand with his, interlinking them together. Now he was holding both of her hands. “You’re an amazing mother, Brooke. I’ve seen you with Nick, he’s your world and he knows it. Everything you do is for him. If you hadn’t gotten pregnant you wouldn’t still be here now. So stop saying those things, I don’t want to hear them. Not from you.”
A single tear escaped from the corner of her eye and ran down the sharp line of her cheekbone, to the corner of her mouth. It stayed there for a moment, before the slightest movement of her head allowed it to continue its route to her chin.
“Don’t cry,” he whispered. “I can’t stand to see you cry.”
He never could. Not with any woman, but especially not with Brooke.
He tugged at her hands, pulling her closer until their bodies were touching, her chest pressed into his abdomen. Releasing her hands, he slid his arms around her shoulders, holding her closer still.
He’d forgotten how good she felt in his arms. Forgotten how slim her waist was, how warm her skin was, how she smelled of sunny days. She was the final piece of the jigsaw, slotting into place after all these years, and it made his head spin.
“Let me help you,” he whispered again. “Until you get a job. I want to take care of you and Nick. I need to.”
He could feel her trembling in his arms, and when she looked up, her face was wet with tears. He reached out to wipe them away. But when he touched her, it was like being shocked by a thousand volts. It took every ounce of strength he had not to jump away.
“I’ll pay you back.” Her voice was muffled by his chest. His shirt was thin enough for him to feel her breath through the cotton. It sent a shot of pleasure through him, one he had no right to feel. And yet it was good. So good.
“You don’t have to. Consider it backpayment for child support.”
She looked up at him, her eyes fierce. “No. If I accept your help, I need to know it’s a loan. You’re not Nick’s father. You don’t owe him anything.”
Her words hit him like a fist in the gut. He wanted to double over. Protect himself. Nick wasn’t his son, he was Jamie’s. Damn if the reminder didn’t hurt more than a punch.
“Okay, it’s a loan. I’ll even get my lawyer to draw up an agreement if you want.”
Her expression softened. He wasn’t sure which Brooke he liked more – the angry kick ass one, or the kind, soft spoken one.
Both. He liked both, and way more than he should.
“He’s asleep.”
Brooke walked out of the room Ally had made up for Nick and headed into the living room where Aiden was waiting for her. Ally and Nate were out with his daughter for a school meeting followed by dinner, and the house had been empty when they had arrived back from apartment hunting.
Aiden was by the open glass doors, staring out at the ocean as it gently lapped against the evening shore. While she’d helped Nick get ready for bed, Aiden had gone outside to return some phone calls he’d missed during the day. He must have come back in while she was reading Nick a story. It was strange to see him like this – so casual and at ease. He looked more like the Aiden she remembered from all those years ago – the intense student with a muscled body. Her friend. Her lover.
“Is he okay? If you want me to drive to the store, to pick anything up for him, I can.”
“He’s good. Kids don’t need a lot. A roof over their head, some food to eat. Somebody who loves them.” She flashed him a smile. “He was asleep before I even left the bedroom.”
“He’s lucky to have you as his mom.” Aiden’s eyes were dark as they settled on her. She wondered what he saw. The perfect girl he’d once known or the flawed woman she’d become.
After they’d finished apartment hunting, they’d picked Nick up from Ember’s place and the three of them had played on the sand for a while. She could already see where the sun had caught Aiden’s skin and turned it into a deeper tan. Her own skin felt tight from the sea salt carried in the gentle breeze.
“I guess I’ll head home. Now that I know you’re both okay.”
Brooke blinked. “There’s no rush. Ally and Nate will be out for at least another hour with Riley.” She pulled at her bottom lip with her teeth. “Unless you’d rather go.”
“I can stay.”
“Let’s go and sit on the deck,” she suggested, gesturing at the rattan sofa and table Nate had set up out there. “Would you like a drink?”
“No, I’m good.”
The beach was practically empty – this far up the bay it was mostly used by locals. There were too many rocks to make it useful to surfers. The ocean moved back and forth, like one of those penny pushers at the arcade, its constant rhythm soothing to her ears. Above it, the sun was slowly slipping down the sky, casting an orange glow above the horizon. If the sunset had looked beautiful from her bungalow on the cliffs, down here it was achingly perfect.
Sitting beside him, she leaned her head back against the cushions, breathing in the salty ozone. She’d always loved Ally and Nate’s house. It felt so peaceful.
“I called the realtor a while ago,” Aiden said, stretching his legs out in front of him. “They have all the details for the lease. If everything goes to plan you should be able to move in next week.”
“Next week?” She blinked, even though the sun wasn’t dazzling. “I thought it might be sooner. I hope Ally won’t mind too much.”
“You can always move in with me.”
She turned her head to the side, looking at him. “You’ve already done enough for us. I can’t ask for anything more.”
“You’re not asking, I’m offering.”
“Same difference.”
He laughed. “I’d forgotten how stubborn you were.”
&n
bsp; “I’d forgotten how persistent you were.” She stretched her own legs out, resting her feet on the edge of the coffee table.
“I guess there’s a lot we’ve forgotten,” he said, glancing down at her legs. She was wearing shorts – she nearly always did in the summer, especially in the evenings. Her skin glowed in the light of the setting sun.
He looked up at her, and she liked what she saw. His stare sent shivers down her spine. As though he was seeing inside her, to the truths she hid in there.
“There’s a lot I remember, too.”
He shifted on the sofa, until there were only inches between them. Beneath the denim, she could see his muscles flex. He’d always been the strong one. Working manual jobs as a kid to make sure his family had enough money. Playing sports until he collapsed to get the scholarship he so desperately needed. And that summer, when it had felt like they were the only two people in the world, she’d shown him how much she appreciated his body. The same way she’d fallen for his heart.
“Do you ever wonder what it would have been like if I hadn’t left?” He scanned her face, as though her expression had all the answers.
“Only in the abstract,” she whispered. His closeness was making her feel breathless. She could smell him mixed in with the fragrance of the ocean. It was intoxicating. Her blood pulsed to the rhythm of the waves, as though the two were connected. “If I thought about it too much, I’d have to think Nick away. And he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
He didn’t look upset at her answer. Instead he looked interested. “And you’ve never regretted your decision?”
“Not for a minute. Being a mom is the greatest privilege I’ve had. He’s my life. I’m so thankful to have him.”
Aiden stared at her for a moment, his eyes dropping to look at her lips. For a second she wondered if he wanted to kiss her, but then she wanted to laugh at herself. Of course he didn’t. Look at the two of them – he was the success, she was the one trying to get through the day. They had nothing in common, not any more.
