by Carrie Elks
“You hear that, honey?” she said softly, hunkering down so she could whisper in Nick’s ear. “I’m staying right here with you tonight, and you’re coming home tomorrow. Everything’s going to be fine.”
She slid her hand into his and he squeezed it tightly as she sat down in the chair beside Nick’s bed. The hem of her silver evening dress rode up, revealing her ankles and feet covered in sand. What a mess she was. Right now she didn’t feel fit to be a human, let alone a mother.
It was going to be a long, long night.
28
A distant noise startled her. Brooke’s eyes flew open, her body stiffening as she woke from her fitful slumber, her evening dress crumpled around her body. It took her a moment to realize where she was. She blinked, her blurred vision slowly focusing on the bed beside her, and the monitor beside the bed, and her palm still wrapped around her son’s smaller hand.
The clock on the wall told her it was going on three in the morning. They’d moved Nick up to a private room in the children’s ward a few minutes after midnight. Brooke had gone with him, holding his hand as the orderly pushed his gurney to the elevator, talking softly with him as he stared up at her with his oxygen mask still on. When the night staff came into their shift at ten, Doctor Westbrook had come up to the ward to say goodbye, and had authorized the mask to be taken off and for the drip to be stopped. Now the only thing he had connected to his body were the pads on his chest hooking him up to the monitor. They didn’t seem to be bothering him much. The combination of the shock and the treatment had sent him into a deep sleep, and she knew from experience he wouldn’t be waking up any time soon.
Her body ached from sitting in the chair for too long. Gently letting go of Nick’s hand, she stood and stretched, lifting her arms up above her head and rolling her shoulders, moving her neck from one side to the other.
There was a huge glass window on the other side of Nick’s room, opening to the hallway and nurses’ station. A movement caught her eye and she turned to look. On the other side of the glass she saw Aiden, still wearing his dinner suit.
She twisted to look at him, but he hadn’t seen her yet. She took the chance to take in his messed up dark hair and the wrinkles in his clothes from where he’d been sitting in one position for too long. His white shirt was crumpled and untucked, and there were creases on his cheek from where he’d been leaning against the wall. He looked as unkempt as she felt.
His gaze snapped to hers, and his eyes widened in recognition. For a moment they stared at each other. She could feel the heat radiating through her, as though somebody had lit a match and thrown it onto the paper of her stomach. He took a step toward the glass between them, and without thinking it through, she did the same.
“Hi.” He mouthed the word. She couldn’t tell if he’d voiced it too – the glass was too thick. “You okay?”
She nodded, swallowing hard. “He’s good. Asleep.”
Aiden frowned. “What?”
She mouthed it harder. “He’s asleep.”
On the other side of the glass, Aiden shook his head and frowned. Taking another glance at Nick – who hadn’t stirred at all – she walked over to the door, slowly pushing the handle and stepping out of the room.
“He’s asleep,” she whispered. This time Aiden nodded.
“How’s he doing? Is there any improvement?” He sounded panicked.
“He’s so much better. They’ve taken him off the oxygen and fluids. The doctor said he should be able to come home tomorrow.”
Aiden closed his eyes and let out a mouthful of air. An orderly walked past with a cart and they stepped aside to let him through. As he disappeared around the corner of the corridor, Aiden lifted a hand to his hair, raking his fingers through it.
“Thank you for being here,” Brooke said, her voice low. “You really didn’t have to stay.”
“The nurses have told me to leave about a hundred times.” Aiden shrugged. “But where would I go? There’s no way I could sleep without knowing you’re both okay.”
“Did everybody else leave?”
“Yeah. Your mom and dad were still arguing on their way out. I’m pretty sure it’s going to be a long night for them. And Ember and Ally told me to give you their love and call at any time.” A ghost of a smile pulled at the corner of his lips. “They’ll all be back first thing in the morning. You should get some rest.”
She opened her mouth to tell him he could go home, but closed it again. There was something reassuring about having him here, only the two of them and Nick in the dark, silent hospital. It made her feel less alone. “You want to get a coffee?” she asked him. “The café’s open twenty-four hours a day.”
“Is it okay to leave Nick?”
“Yeah, for a few minutes. I’ll ask the nurse to keep an eye on him. He won’t wake until morning. Not after everything that’s happened tonight.” And coffee sounded heavenly. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d had liquids. Her thoughts turned to the gala before she turned them resolutely away again. She wasn’t sure she had the energy to dwell on that.
After a brief discussion with the nurse, they rode the elevator in silence, both of them too stuck in their own thoughts to say much.
The café was deserted, apart from a couple of nurses taking their break in the far corner. The barista took their order, and methodically filled up the espresso machine with coffee beans, pulling handles and moving cups until he slid their two mugs of latte across the counter. Aiden grabbed them both, leading her over to a table next to a window, looking out across the night time bay, the darkness occasionally broken by flashing beacons flooding light across the surface of the ocean.
Brooke took the chair opposite Aiden’s. Lifting the cup to her lips, she took a sip, then baulked at the heat searing at her tongue. “Ouch.” She grimaced, putting the cup back down.
“Too hot?”
“Way too hot.”
When she lifted her gaze she saw him staring right at her with those warm, whiskey eyes that saw right inside her.
“I’m sorry,” he said, leaning back in his chair. “None of this should have happened.”
He clearly wasn’t talking about the burning coffee, even though her tongue was still stinging from the onslaught. Her fingers were trembling, like leaves fluttering in a breeze. The shock of tonight’s events made everything seem hazy – like an old movie she could barely recall.
“I don’t think I can talk about this now,” she told him. Her voice cracked at the end of her sentence. “I’m so tired and scared, and part of me is still pissed about everything that happened tonight. I can’t go there right now.”
“I understand.” Aiden pulled his gaze from hers, swallowing hard as he looked out of the huge window. She watched as his chest lifted and dipped with his breaths. How easy it would be to walk over to him, to let him hold her, console her, tell her it was all going to be okay.
But she couldn’t. That was something the old Brooke would have done; sought out comfort where it was offered, given up her own need for control to somebody else. For so long she’d doubted herself and her decisions – and yes, some of them had been absolutely terrible – but some of them had been amazing, too. To sweep tonight under the carpet would be to disrespect herself and the woman she was becoming.
She couldn’t let people make her decisions anymore. They were hers, and hers alone to make.
“Can I tell you one thing?” Aiden asked her. His voice was deep. Caressing.
She nodded.
“Jamie’s gone. He’s left town.”
She slowly licked her lips. Her tongue was still hurting, but the nagging of her thirst overrode the pain. Taking another sip of the coffee – this time thankfully cooler – she let the liquid coat her mouth.
“Okay.”
“He left of his own free will. I didn’t ask him to leave and I didn’t ask him to stay. I realized a little too late it’s not my place to make those calls.”
The sadness in his tone made h
er heart clench. She had no idea what to say to him. She was torn between trying to make everything better and somehow standing up for herself.
“What happens next is between you and him. And Nick, I guess.” He ran the tip of his finger around the rim of his coffee cup. “There’s a lot more I want to say, but this isn’t the time or the place.”
“I guess not…”
“I’d still like to see Nick if that’s okay.”
She looked up, surprised at his words. He wasn’t going to fight for her. Brooke wasn’t sure how to feel about that. Part of her was disappointed, wanting to see him beg and plead and show her how much she meant to him. The other was relieved – she hadn’t lied about being too tired to talk about this stuff tonight.
“Of course you can still see him. He loves you. I’d never take him away from you, no matter what.”
“Thank you.”
In the gloom beneath the night-time cafeteria lights, the resemblance between him and her son was so strong. Those warm whiskey eyes and dark, dark hair. Even the way he was staring at her was so familiar it hurt.
“Have you finished?” he asked, nodding at her coffee cup.
“My tongue tells me I have.”
The corner of his lip quirked up. “I’ll walk you back to Nick’s room and head home. It’s been a long night for all of us. We should both try and get some sleep.”
“Oh. Okay.”
He pushed himself up from the table and she followed suit, letting him take the lead as they walked across the cafeteria and back toward the bank of elevators at the end of the hall. And as he pushed the button to call the car, she leaned against the wall, a wave of exhaustion washing over her, along with the strangest feeling that, in spite of everything, she wasn’t in control at all.
When she opened her eyes again, daylight was streaming in through the window next to Nick’s bed. He was still asleep, but his lips were moving as he murmured words she couldn’t quite hear. It didn’t disturb her though – she’d gotten used to his sleeptalking over the years. In twenty minutes or so he’d most likely be wide awake.
The sound of a throat clearing made her turn in her seat, her muscles complaining at the sudden movement. They were coiled and tight from where she’d been curled up on the chair, unwilling to stretch unless she forced them.
“Mom?” she said, frowning, shock evident in her voice.
Lillian was standing in the doorway, her face twisted as though she wasn’t quite sure whether to walk in or leave. Her watery blue eyes met Brooke’s.
“Is Nick okay? I couldn’t sleep and you weren’t answering your phone. I wasn’t sure whether to come or not.” Lillian stumbled over her words. There was no sign of her usual assurance. “I know I’m probably the last person you want to see.”
Brooke’s chest felt tight. It took her a moment to realize she’d been holding her breath. She let the air out. “It’s okay. I’m sure he’ll be pleased to see you when he wakes up.” She circled her head to loosen the tendons in her neck.
Her mom took a tentative step inside. “Did you get any sleep?” Her bottom lip stretched, as though she was trying to force it into a smile.
“A little. Not much.”
“I brought you a change of clothes. Just in case you needed them.” Her mom held out a white bag. “And some toiletries, too. I hope you don’t think it’s too forward of me.”
Brooke couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen her mom so hesitant. It felt strange. And yet there was something conciliatory in the way Lillian waited for Brooke to decide whether or not she wanted the bag. In past times she would have shoved it in Brooke’s hands and told her to get changed right away before somebody saw her.
But now it seemed like a kind gesture.
“Thanks. I’d love to get out of this dress.” Brooke met her mom’s eyes, and gave her a grateful nod. A moment later she took the bag from her hands. “Will you sit with Nick while I change in the bathroom?”
“I’d like that.” This time her mom’s smile was big. She walked over to where Nick was fitfully sleeping and sat down on the chair Brooke had just vacated. With a glance back at them, Brooke headed for the bathroom with the white leather bag her mother had given her.
She wasn’t sure what she expected to be inside the bag – but a simple pair of worn jeans and a t-shirt wasn’t it. Brooke blinked, trying to recall when she’d last seen her old grey tee with the pink Angel Sands logo on it. Years ago? When she pulled it on it was tighter than she remembered, but it was still a million light years preferable to the dress she’d been wearing since last night.
“Mom, where did you find these clothes?” Brooke asked as she walked back into the hospital room. On catching sight of her son, she smiled. “You’re awake.”
He nodded. “Grandma told me you were getting changed.”
“How are you feeling?” she asked him, walking to the far side of his bed and taking his hand. Her eyes met her mom’s, and she could see her own relief reflected in the light blues.
“I’m good. Can we go home now?”
Warmth flooded her veins. The fear and panic from last night had left her body feeling on high alert, but she was slowly beginning to calm down. “Once the doctor’s taken a look at you and gives the all clear.”
“Can Grandma come too?” he asked. “And Grandpa?” The hope in his voice reminded her how much he’d missed them. It hit a tender spot in her heart. “Can you, Grandma?” Nick asked again.
“I’m… I’m not sure. Your mom will be very busy.”
“You’re welcome to come over,” Brooke said, her voice strong. She might not have liked what they’d done to her – both last night and all those years ago – but they were still her parents. They thought the world of Nick, and he idolized them both. It would take a long time for her to begin to trust them again, and longer until she could let go of the pain they’d caused her, but they still had more in common than they had differences.
They loved her. Even if they sometimes had a strange way of showing it.
They were welcome to come over. It didn’t mean she’d forgiven them, but she knew in her heart she’d get there. And until she did, she’d get through it for her son’s sake.
What mother wouldn’t do that?
29
It had been a long week. Aiden lifted his head from the computer screen in front of him, finally admitting to himself the numbers on the screen meant nothing. They were floating there, little dots of ink among the white, and he was sick of looking at the damn things.
For the hundredth time he picked up his phone and checked his messages. One from his boss, a couple from some contractors, but nothing from the person he wanted to hear from the most.
And it stung like a bitch.
The door to the office opened, and Brecken Miller walked in, taking his hard hat off and smoothing his hair with the palm of his hand. “The crew have finished for the night. No overtime needed this weekend – we’re back on track.” There was a grin on his face, and no wonder. He and his team had worked like Trojans to catch up after all the delays they had. Normally, Aiden would have been the first to celebrate their achievement – keeping to the schedule had a big effect on the bottom line, after all. This was a prestigious project – the success or failure of which would be laid firmly at his door.
And in his business life he’d been nothing but successful.
His personal life was the complete opposite. He’d made such a goddamn hash of it all. The thought of it made him sick. He’d lost her and it was all his fault.
Breck said something. Aiden frowned and looked up at him. “Sorry, Breck, I missed that.”
“You okay?” Breck asked, sitting down in the chair on the other side of Aiden’s desk.
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
“You still not heard from her?” Breck inclined his head at the phone laying in Aiden’s upturned palm. It came as no surprise to him that Breck knew exactly what was going on. Not because Angel Sands was a small town, e
ither. But he was also best friends with Lucas Russell, who happened to be engaged to one of Brooke’s best friends.
This place was way too connected.
“No, I haven’t heard from her.” For a moment he considered asking Breck if he knew anything, but shrugged the thought off. Partly because he didn’t want to make himself vulnerable, but mostly because he didn’t want to know. Not if it was bad, and let’s face it, it would be. Why else would his phone be silent?
“You heard from your brother?”
News really did travel fast. “No. But the PI I hired says he’s back in Sacramento. I don’t think he’ll be coming back down here for a while.”
Breck didn’t blink at the mention of a private investigator. “That’s good to hear. I remember Jamie from when we were kids. He was bad news even then.”
“Yeah, well he’s worse now.” Aiden’s mouth dried at the thought of his brother, and the claim he tried to stake on Nick and Brooke. The claim he could still pursue if he had the energy or motivation, and thank God he didn’t right now.
“You’ve had a crazy few weeks. I bet you’re glad it’s all calmed down now. If things keep going like this we might even finish ahead of plan.” Breck grinned at him. “Wouldn’t that be good?”
“It would for you.” Aiden raised an eyebrow. As project manager and head of the construction team, Breck’s contract had a nice little bonus written into it on completion. Finishing ahead of the agreed date would lead to it being doubled.
“It’s a win-win, right?”
“Yeah. It sure is.”
“Man, she’s really messed you up, hasn’t she?” Breck said. “You want to talk about it?”
“Not really.”
“I didn’t think so.”
“What’s there to say? I made decisions without her, I hid things from her, and now she doesn’t want to know me. Who can blame her?”
“Nobody.”
Aiden rubbed his jaw with his fingertips. “Maybe I should call her. Do you think I should?”
