by K. A Knight
Diver’s Heart.
Copyright © 2021 K.A. Knight, all rights reserved.
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
Written by K.A. Knight
Edited By Jess from Elemental Editing and Proofreading.
Formatted by Mallory Kent, The Nutty Formatter
Cover design by Moonstruck Cover Design & Photography.
Contents
Introduction
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Chapter 47
Chapter 48
Chapter 49
Chapter 50
Chapter 51
Chapter 52
Chapter 53
Chapter 54
Chapter 55
Chapter 56
Chapter 57
Chapter 58
Chapter 59
Chapter 60
Chapter 61
Chapter 62
Chapter 63
Epilogue
About K.A Knight
Also By K.A Knight
Some places should never be explored...
Introduction
The first time I met Tyler Lucas, my heart skipped a beat. I was seventeen years old. He was twenty-three, six foot five, and two hundred and thirty pounds of sex personified. His sun-bronzed skin glistened with water as he heaved himself over the side of my dad’s boat. When he flashed those pearly white teeth at me in an arrogant smirk, I fell. I fell hard.
It took only one summer for me to fall in love with him, completely head over heels in love. The kind even my dad said you never find anymore. We spent the summer exploring the world with my father, learning everything. Tyler was an experienced diver, but he wanted advice on starting his own company with his brother and friends, and my dad was happy to oblige. We spent our days in the water, and our nights curled up in the tiny beds below deck. Time passed so quickly, and soon, summer was over and he was ready to leave…to start his future. But he took me with him, much to my dad’s delight and sadness.
He looked me in the eyes and told me it was time to have my own adventures.
I was so excited…but when I met Tyler’s brother, my stomach sunk and my heart pounded at his proximity.
And when I met their two friends? I hated myself. I had to hide it. I loved Tyler…only Tyler, right? So why did my heart skip a beat around them? The more time we spent together, only growing closer, I realised I had a problem.
Our lives were a constant adventure with twists and turns just like the caves we explored, but when push came to shove…
I did the very thing I thought I would never do. I walked away. I left my family behind to protect them, to save them. I left my heart on our boat and lost myself in the deep blue ocean of this world.
Searching for myself once again.
This is our story.
This is my diver’s heart.
Chapter One
Peyton
Four years later…
Tyler is up to something. I know it.
As I resurface and pull off my mask, I look around at the almost empty boat. Where is everyone? I heave myself up onto the freeboard, push my hair back, and clear my nose and eyes of water as I pull my tired feet up and strip off my fins. Standing on aching legs, I drag myself and my equipment up onto the deck, sit on the edge, and undo the tanks and empty cylinders. I store it all, ready to check it over later, and pull down the zipper on my wetsuit, folding it until it’s at my waist. I ring out my wet hair as the Mediterranean sun starts to set, but it’s still no colder. Water trails down my skin as I step farther onto the borrowed boat’s deck.
Just another rich man looking for a purpose. That’s who’s funding us now.
It works for us though, and this time, it’s treasure hunting. We have been looking for almost three years, and today? Today we fucking found it, so we should be celebrating…happy.
So where is everyone?
“Ty?” I call, looking around. Maybe they are inside or down below?
“Kalen?” I shout, my tongue tripping over the name of the one man I probably shouldn’t call for. “Riggs? Fin?”
It’s silent. Even the waves crashing into the boat are quiet from where we’re anchored off the coast of some undiscovered island. The treasure lies below the surface of it, only accessible by the cave system we found, mapped, and yesterday, broke through into the treasure room.
Biting my lip, I furrow my brows as I poke my head through the sliding glass door into the galley of the yacht we’re on. Seriously, where are they? Usually, Riggs is sitting at his computers in here, working on his software for mapping, but even they are dark. Fin isn’t at the helm, I don’t see Kalen lurking anywhere, and where the hell is Tyler? He was supposed to meet me back on deck after he went up first, starting his decomp stops before I did.
I panic then. Shit, what if something went wrong? I took the long way back, exploring the reef when I saw him nearing the boat. “Ty?” I almost scream. “Ty?”
I hear a noise up top, so I grab the metal pole next to the ladder and I quickly yank myself up onto the deck, almost falling onto the floor. But when I get there, I freeze, my eyes wide and chest squeezing tight.
A sick feeling starts in my stomach as I struggle to breathe. He smiles at me, thinking it’s just shock…not guilt and panic.
He’s down on one knee in a heart made from shells. Shells we have found all over the world together. His black hair is swept back, still damp. His blue eyes are wide and happy, and those lips I love so much are parted in a trembling smile. His chest is exposed like always, showing his impressive muscles, his bottom is covered with shorts, and his feet are bare.
In his hand is a ring.
“Peyton Andrews, I have loved you since the first moment I met you, and every day since, I have only fallen deeper.” I swallow as tears come to my eyes. I want to run, I want to pretend this isn’t happening. “You’re my best friend, you’re my family…so why not make it official? Baby, living without you is like diving without a tank—useless and without air.”
“Ty—” I start, trying to stop him.
How could Kalen let this happen?
How could I?
Oh God! Everything comes back, everything I’ve tried to bury so deep, and I have to swallow bile. I feel weak and pale, like I might fall overboard—at least that would be easier.
“Peyton…I asked your fat
her before…before he died, because I knew you were the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, exploring the world. Will you marry me?”
I can’t speak.
His lips dip as concern enters his eyes. “Baby, you okay?”
“I—” I swallow hard, and tears fall freely down my face as I try not to scream from the unfairness of it. I love this man, and once upon a time, this was my dream…but I can’t. I can’t do this. I can’t hurt him like this, because he would find out eventually and he would hate me. I couldn’t bear that.
It would tear our family apart.
I can’t do this, even if it means crushing his heart now. Even if it means walking away from the best thing to ever happen to me. “I—Ty, I can’t.”
He blinks, dropping his hand slightly. “What? Peyton, are you saying no?” he asks incredulously.
I nod my head and shake it, and he gets to his feet before rushing to me. He holds my cheeks as he searches my eyes. “Baby, what’s wrong? I thought…I thought you loved me?” He sounds so confused. God, I wish I could take that away. He’s put so much effort into this… Fuck, I’m a horrible person.
“I do,” I gasp, sobs racking my body. “I do, Ty, I really do, but I can’t. I’m sorry, I can’t do this—”
He stumbles back, looking away, and I spot the sheen in his eyes and the tremble in his limbs as the sun sets. “Okay. I—yeah, okay. It’s not time, you’re not ready. I get that—”
Oh God, even now he’s trying to protect me and make it okay for me, like always. It’s like the time we found ourselves surrounded by sharks and he went under to save me. Or when my tank ran out of air and we got caught in a sump, and he buddy breathed with me, putting his life at risk. He’s always protecting me, loving me. God, he deserves so much better than a woman who lusts after others…after his family.
I know what I have to do. For once, I need to save him—from me.
“Tyler, no, I can’t do this anymore.”
He turns to me, confused. “Baby, what do you—”
“It’s over,” I blurt out. “I’m sorry, I can’t be with you anymore.” I feel the words tumbling from my lips as he falls back like I’ve struck him. His heart is breaking right before my eyes. He tries to reach for me, the bracelets I made him wrapped around his wrist all the way to his forearm, one for each cave we have been in.
“Pey—”
I shake my head and back away, hitting the stairs. “I’m sorry, Ty. It’s over, I can’t do this. Please, let me go.” Then I turn like a chicken, not being able to stand the confusion and heartbreak written across every beautiful plane of his face and crushed body. I slide down the stairs, wandering inside in a haze. I hear him yell and then start to cry, and my tears fall harder.
I make it back to my cabin and stare around at the space we share. Turning, I grab a pack and shove my clothes and possessions inside, hesitating at the picture tacked to the wall of my dad and me. We’re both in our gear and smiling with the sun behind us. It was our first exploration together…the one where I met Tyler.
I kiss it. “I’m sorry, Daddy. I messed up so badly this time. Breathing isn’t going to help. I don’t think this one is fixable.” I can almost hear his sigh as he tells me everything is. But not this.
Not his heart.
Not mine.
I zip my pack, and when I turn, Kalen is standing at the door. His dark eyes are locked on me, and the worst part? It’s the knowing there, the disappointment. He knows what I’m doing and why, and he’s going to hate me for it.
They all will.
He opens his mouth and then shakes his head and steps back, not blocking the door. Not stopping me. I rush past, and with each step, my heart breaks further.
“I hope you know what you just threw away,” he whispers behind me.
I do, but that was never the issue. I threw my life away, and the only man who ever loved me. My whole family. I’m cracking it, but it’s better than breaking it completely.
It’s better than me ruining it.
Better they hate me and not each other.
I can hear Riggs and Fin trying to calm Ty down, asking what happened as I make it out back and grab my shoes. I throw my bag onto the rip. I don’t look up or back, I can’t, or I’ll fall to my knees and beg them to understand. To not hate me.
I untie the boat with shaky, clumsy fingers and leap onto it. That’s when I hear it. “Peyton!” he screams.
I look up, meeting those heartbroken blue eyes from where he stands at the ladder, chest heaving. I see it in his face, he’s begging me not to do this. Not to leave him.
To leave them.
To not crush his heart into a thousand pieces and sink it to the depths below.
I stare at him, memorising him. Those hands that held me through my nightmares, those eyes which contained all our hopes and dreams, those lips that whispered such loving words to me when I thought I couldn’t go on anymore. His heart where he kept mine with his, that he gave me so easily. Selfishly. I know every inch of that man, I know his dreams. His hopes.
His pain and fears.
And I still turn and start the engine, sitting on the bench, and look away from him. I’m unable to take it, unable to take the crushed look on his face as I rip out his heart, shred it in my hands, and leave it up there on the deck where, not hours before, we were laughing and kissing.
I speed away, leaping over the waves, the sobs cracking open my chest as tears blur my eyes. But I’m weak, so fucking weak. I look back and they are there, all four of them. Their silhouettes lit by the dim sun, all standing on the deck watching me flee, watching me run away from everything we are.
Watching me leave them.
It’s for the best, I want to scream, but I don’t. Instead, I turn around and leave my heart back there with the four men who claimed it without even knowing.
It’s done.
It’s over…
Chapter Two
Three years later…
“You hear me, Minnow?”
I shake off the memories, tuck the pearl necklace back into my suit, and zip it up further. Michael’s voice crackles through my mask. Usually, I would just wear a smaller black one, but this makes it easier to communicate when he stays up on the boat while I dive.
“I hear you,” I tell him. “I’m coming back. It’s all mapped and ready for the excavations tomorrow.”
“About time, I can’t wait to be done with this one, it’s a hell of a fucking cave. I’ll have nightmares about it.” The sun doesn’t reach down here, the light on my helmet the only way to see, illuminating the dark depths.
Something about being down here, the first person to ever explore it, makes me giddy, it always does. I love seeing the wondrous nature of this planet and what it has to offer, and there is so much left uncharted. When I’m diving, when I find myself alone in the dark water seeing things that have never been seen by the human eye, I feel whole.
It’s the only time I ever do.
I laugh, blowing bubbles back as I softly frog kick my legs and push myself from the opening of the shadowy cave and into the dark blue of the open water. Gradually, I begin to swim up. It’s not too deep, so there’s no need to decompress or worry about bends, but there is silt everywhere making it hard to see, even with my small kicks.
The higher I get, the clearer and brighter the water becomes, the sun penetrating it. I spot the base of the boat and aim for the back. When I break the surface, I yank off my mask and blink my eyes clear, pushing my hair back as I grin at Michael. He’s crouched on the freeboard with his shades on, his grey hat pulled on backwards, strands of blond and grey hair escaping it. His muscular body is slightly pudgy in his old age, not that I’ll ever tell him that, and his skin is dark from the sun and the hours we have spent in it recently.
His navy tattoo is on display from his cutoff tank, which is tucked into his khaki coloured shorts, and his feet are bare. His gold chain hangs around his neck and catches the sun. He offers his scar
red hand to me, and I clasp it as he yanks me up.
Sitting on the deck, I let him help me pull my gear off. When it’s all removed, I strip from my suit and grab the towel he throws at me mid-air, running it through my hair before wrapping it around my shoulders. “So, the beast is finally done?” He laughs, popping open a beer and passing it to me.
I chug it, burping before wiping my mouth. No need to be ladylike around him. Plus, after living with men in close quarters all my life, I have bad habits. “Thank fuck,” I reply, rubbing my hair again as the condensation from the cooler we store them in drips down the bottle and onto my hand. “Let them know over the radio. Tonight, we dock, and tomorrow, we get the hell out of here. I can’t wait to see the back of this place.”
“You and me both, kid.” He smacks my shoulder, sending me lurching forward as he laughs. “On to the next adventure.”
“Always.” I nod as I sit back and close my eyes, letting the sun heat my skin and dry me. Sipping my beer, I relax my tired muscles. I’ve been doing too many hours underwater, and it’s taken its toll, but I wanted this beast done. Michael is right—it’s been a bitch of a dive, and I couldn’t wait to get it done.
