by K. A Knight
But then it disappears.
Like he wasn’t my world.
Now he looks at me like there was nothing between us, like I wasn’t the girl who broke his heart and ruined her own. His eyes are cold, unforgiving, and without a word, he turns away to shout orders at someone, releasing me from the trap of his gaze, but it’s too late.
The others look over.
They all freeze.
Riggs’ jaw drops in shock, his expression flashing with hope before fading to sadness, and I wince. Out of all of us, he was always the softest. He felt too much, trusted too easily… It makes my heart crack to see my usually happy friend not even able to meet my eyes. He turns away as well, his shoulders slumped. His short, styled blond hair catches the sun, and I notice he’s filled out too. He used to be lanky and skinny, but now he’s built, even rivalling Tyler, his muscles bulging as he moves.
Fin is standing next to him, and my eyes drift his way. He glares at me for a moment, but a smile pulls at his lips as he runs his gaze down my body, being flirty like always. He’s taller, wider too. His hair is longer, down to his shoulders, with half of it pulled back and curling from the humidity. His bright blue eyes are cold where they used to be filled with such heat. I drag my eyes away from his, not liking the mocking expression on his face, and lock with those dark orbs I used to hate and love.
Kalen.
Fuck.
And Kalen?
Fuck, Kalen looks angry—no, not angry, furious.
Tyler’s brother was always different, angry at the world. We used to wonder if he had a death wish since he got back from his tours overseas. The broken part of him called to the broken parts of me. The girl who lost her mum…and her father. I hated that part that thrived in his anger, that fed on our fights. I wished I could be the girl Tyler thought I was back then, that I pretended to be all the time—happy and perfect. But I simply wasn’t, and Kalen knew that. He brought out the worst in me…and I in him.
He’s big, wide as hell, and taller than Tyler. His impressive ink is on display. His black hair is styled back, longer on the top and shorter on the sides. His dark eyes pierce me with such hate and disgust, I almost recoil. His body vibrates from his rage before he slams down his equipment and storms away.
Some reunion.
I almost shake from my swinging emotions, but I’m not that same girl anymore. I was seventeen when I fell in love with Tyler. Twenty-one when I realised I loved them all and left. The three years since, I’ve grown up a lot. I’ve picked myself up off rock bottom after almost drinking myself to death. I started my own business when I was so broke, I had to sleep on the leaking boat. I took every dive, dangerous and rubbish. I almost died so many times and broke down repeatedly until it got easier.
Until I started to set records and smash others.
Until I got noticed and started to make money. Now? Now I’m one of the best in the world. I’m a fucking explorer…a strong ass woman…right?
I thought I’d fixed myself like my daddy always told me to…but now I’m realising I simply fixed my mind, not my heart. That part of me is still broken, still theirs.
Shit, I should leave…but this was a favour, and we already took the money…and, fuck, it’s such a big exploration. This could be it for me, the thing that I’m known for. I can’t leave, not now, not even because they are here and looking at them again brings it all to the surface.
All the pain, heartache, and grief…everything I’ve been swimming so hard to avoid since I left all those years ago.
It’s been three years, four days, and twelve hours since I last saw them.
Not one spark of how I feel has dimmed, and watching them now, I realise it never will.
Chapter Five
Tyler
I have to turn away to gather my composure so I don’t cover the distance between us and kiss her—no! Fuck.
She’s not mine to kiss anymore. Maybe she never really was.
I loved her more than anything in this world, I would have done anything for her. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her…I knew from the moment I met her I loved her.
Then she crushed my fucking heart.
Ripped it right out of my chest like it was nothing and tossed it away.
I still remember watching her speed away across the ocean as I stood side by side with my family, the ring I bought held in one hand. Losing her destroyed me.
And now she’s back.
Like nothing happened. She’s standing there as beautiful as always with that same smile, those same green eyes I used to stare into for hours on end, the same curves I worshipped, the same person I loved.
But I’m not the same man anymore.
I grind my teeth as I hear Kalen storm away and lock the trunk with the computers. I should go over there, be polite, but fuck if I don’t want to yell for her to fuck off right back onto that boat that she came in on.
This is our find.
Our fucking find. We have worked our asses off to get here, to be able to explore places like this, and she doesn’t get to come and take it away. Turning, I head right up to her, making my face cool and easy, hard, even though my heart slams as I meet those emerald eyes I love—loved so much.
I become the leader my people depend on. “So you’re the diver?”
“Last I checked,” she teases, making me want to wring her fucking neck. I have to clench my fists at my sides to stop myself from grabbing her, dragging her to me, and demanding her obedience, something I never did before…something I was always scared to show her.
Fuck that.
How dare she tease me and stand here before me like she didn’t kill me when she left?
“We can’t have people down there who we don’t know or trust,” I snarl, looking her over. “You will slow us down.” I look at Steve. “I told you we didn’t need another diver.”
“And I told you that was my condition, having someone I trust here.”
I snort at that, wondering if you could ever trust a snake like Peyton. She winces at the sound.
“Ty—”
I swing my eyes to her and narrow them, stepping up to her and craning my head down. She doesn’t shrink back, that’s not Peyton’s style. She stands taller, narrowing her own eyes, which are flashing with anger now, and fuck if that doesn’t make me hard.
I used to love fighting with her and then making up.
My body doesn’t seem to have received the fucking memo that will never happen again. “My name is Tyler. I don’t give a fuck if you talked or bought your way onto the expedition.” Fucking lie. I want to know how she’s been…how she got here. I know she’s one of the best. Shit, she always was, not that I’ve been tracking her career. “But this is my dive, you do as you’re told or you’re out of here, understood?”
She smirks at me and steps closer, her chest pressed against mine, and it’s my turn to step back, unable to have her body against me. I don’t want her to feel just how hard I am for her, how much my muscles are screaming at me to touch her. Grab her. Kiss that cocky smile right off her face until she’s screaming my name. “No problem with me, Tyler.” She rolls her tongue around my name the same way she always did. It drove me crazy then, and it still does now. “But I’m here to stay, better get used to it.”
“They don’t like it,” I snap. “This won’t be easy for you.”
“Nothing worth doing ever is.” She winks, throwing my own goddamn words back at me. I said them to her about trying to date her when I first met her, knowing her dad would hate me for it. She turns to Steve then. “I’m going to get a few hours of sleep. We came almost straight from another dive, wake me in time for briefing.”
Then, like a fucking princess, she turns and, without a goddamn word, strolls away like she owns the camp.
I hate that my eyes drop to her perky ass, the tight khaki shorts covering it lovingly. I still remember the way she tasted on my tongue, remember those long, lean legs wrapped around my waist as I fucked her like
I owned her.
Possessed her.
“Is this going to be a problem?” Steve questions, confused.
“No, no fucking problem,” I snarl.
“Do you know each other?” he asks, swinging his gaze to me as I drag my own from her retreating back.
“No, she’s just a stranger.”
KALEN
Three years.
Three fucking years of hell since she left.
Of watching my brother break and struggle to go on every fucking day without the love of his life. Seeing him pale, tired, and not himself. Of watching him barely eating or sleeping until he threw himself into the job.
Taking stupid risks, crazy dives…just to stop the pain.
When did I become the one protecting him? All my life, it’s been the other way around, even though I’m older by four years. I was always more reckless, stupid. He’s the smart careful one.
But that was before Peyton fucking Andrews.
After…after her, he became nothing but a shell of the man who used to exist, a shell filled with anger and pain. Pain she gave him. I turn away from her in disgust, unable to look at her anymore, incapable of seeing those green eyes screaming something at me.
Screaming for forgiveness.
She stands there all alone, so small and so fucking perfect like always. I won’t say weak, Peyton is never weak. It’s one of the things—fuck, no, not going back down that road.
How-how can she be here?
Why now, after all this time?
Peyton was ours…to tease, to torment, to care for. Not that I ever did that, we never saw eye to eye. We were always clashing and arguing, but honestly, it’s the only way I knew how to communicate with her.
Tyler always says if I’m not arguing with you, I don’t care about you.
Ain’t that the fucking truth? His words still haunt me, because in his eyes, there was a knowing. We never spoke about it, nor the fact that I argued with her more than anyone, that I purposely went out of my way to start shit with her.
To piss her off and rile her up.
And fuck, when she exploded…it was goddamn breathtaking.
Nothing compared to the heat of our fights, of the breathless anticipation, the anger, the need. The snarled threats and insults, the look she would get in her eyes as she went toe-to-toe with me. Our bodies vibrating from the force of it.
All I ever wanted to do after was grab her and kiss her, but I never did. She was never mine and never will be. She’s just a blast from the past that, once this is through, will disappear into the fog again.
I want to fucking strangle her, kill her for what she did to my family. I’ve never hated someone as much as I do her.
She is nothing.
I storm away, leaving her there staring after me as I repeat it in my head.
She is nothing, she is nothing…
Chapter Six
Riggs
I heard her name, but I didn’t believe it until I turned. Peyton. Standing here at the dive site. It’s been three years, yet that time when faced with her floats away to nothing, until it feels like only yesterday we were diving together, watching movies, and giggling like teenagers.
But it hasn’t, it’s been three years.
Everybody leaves, they always do. She did, and now she’s back, standing there like no time has passed. She’s just as beautiful as ever. It cracks my heart, and I suck in a wobbly breath before turning again, unable to stare into those emerald eyes.
I pretend to be checking the equipment as Fin claps me on the shoulder. “Breathe,” he whispers as I suck in a desperate breath. He’s the only one who ever knew how I felt about Pey…not that I would have ever done anything.
She’s Tyler’s girl.
But-but that didn’t stop me from falling in love with her and wishing she was mine. Lying awake at night, hearing their giggles and moans and wishing it was me with her, waking up with her in my arms.
Every smile she ever sent me, every stolen moment, every time she was proud of me…all accumulated until I couldn’t deny my feelings.
And then she left.
Like we were nothing.
Like she wasn’t our entire world, our heart…
Like she never really loved us at all.
FIN
Peyton Andrews.
The flaxen-haired beauty who was once my best friend stares at me. She looks good, amazing actually. The years have been kind to her. When we met her, she was young, so young, but now she’s all fucking woman. Her curves have my mouth watering, her breasts are almost spilling from her tank, and those same long, lean legs are tanned and covered in tattoos now. Her hair is pulled back and messy, and her face is sweaty and tired.
Yet no one ever compares to her beauty. Ever. Trust me, I’ve tried.
I never told anyone how I felt about that troublemaker, not even myself, and it worked for so long, but when she left…
It devastated me.
I struggled to understand why, while I held my family together with pure fucking grit. Tyler was broken, Riggs withdrew, Kalen was angry…and me? I was trying my fucking hardest, not able to comprehend why my heart was breaking with each passing day she didn’t come back.
I really thought she would.
I should have known better. Love is a fucking lie. Just something we use to make ourselves feel better, a chemical reaction in our brains. I spent my life discarding the notion of it, too busy with studying and then exploring. But Peyton? Peyton was a fucking surprise. She turned up one day…
And each day that passed, everything I thought I knew about love disappeared into a cloud of smoke.
Fucking typical I would only realise I loved her when she left… Fuck, it was okay then. I didn’t need to tell anyone, especially Tyler, but now she’s back. And all four of our hearts are on the line.
This girl broke them once. She won’t ever again.
They aren’t hers anymore.
Our hearts belong to the bottom of the ocean, where we let them all sink to after she broke them.
Chapter Seven
Peyton
When I reach my tent, I cover my slamming heart with my hand and struggle to breathe. All four of them. And Tyler, God, he was so angry, so filled with hate. I’ve never seen him like that, so fucking…cold. Is that what he’s like now, or is that just for me? I don’t blame him if it is. But Christ, my panties are damp from that harsh, dominant tone and the way he watched me.
We never had a problem with wanting each other, but it seems the years apart have only made me want him more, and this new, twisted, dark Tyler is getting me all riled up in ways that sweet, loving Tyler just never could.
God, I’m a bitch.
And Kalen? Fuck, I wouldn’t be surprised if he tried to kill me.
Riggs, shit, the heartbreak on his face was too clear to see. My sweet boy always did wear it on his sleeve, and he couldn’t even look at me. Fin, well, was Fin. Charming, sexual, hiding all that lurks below his depths. The man was my best friend once, and I still never felt like I really knew him. Just when I discovered another side of him, he would change again.
A bit like a cave system, his depths unexplored.
But shit…if I didn’t want to explore them.
No.
Concentrate.
I’m not here for a reunion, I have a job to do, and no amount of memories or pain can stop the excitement of the dive that’s to come, and knowing it’s with them…well, shit. Tyler is right—you have to trust your buddy down there in the caves, and I was worried about working with people I didn’t know having my back.
I know these guys, and even if they hate me and don’t want me here, they are amazing divers, the best. It’s going to be incredible down there, even if I’m scared of working together.
I’m worried I might say the wrong thing or let some of my secrets slip. I can’t. I made my choice, they—he isn’t mine anymore. This is business, and the sooner we get down to it, the better I can focus and sto
p thinking about all those abs on display.
About the way Tyler used to fuck me, all hard and fast. He was such a softie normally, but in the bedroom…fuck, it was like something came over him. He would have me screaming in minutes, his fist in my hair, his cock slamming into me with wild abandon.
I trace my lips, remembering the way Kalen tasted that drunken night. Fuck. I drop my hand and unpack and repack my bag with the equipment, which is in my tent, thanks to Michael. Then I do as I said and try to grab a few hours of sleep.
But knowing they are only a few feet away makes it hard, and when I do finally fall into that abyss, it’s with their names on my mind.
I wake up to my tent shaking. “Get up, kid, briefing in ten.”
I get to my feet and stretch, having slept in my clothes. I debate changing but then sigh. I wouldn’t if they weren’t here, and they have seen me in a lot worse, so I put on my bandana and sunglasses and head out. I stop at the toilet before grabbing some water and an apple, then head to the briefing tent.
They are already here when I arrive, and as soon as I step into the room, they all go quiet and angry. I slip into a chair next to Michael, pull my knife from my ankle, and start to cut chunks of the apple, eating it from the blade as I wait.
Fin watches me with a smirk, while the others purposely don’t look at me. I don’t know the additional people in the room. Michael leans in. “Minnow, you pissing people off already? You usually save that for day two at least.” His voice rumbles through the space as I laugh.
“Nah, there was that one time we were saving those whales. I pissed off those hunters in two hours. But this might be a record for me.” He grins as I finish my apple, clean my knife, and slip it back into my side before drinking my water.
