by Colbie Kay
“Bam Bam—” Rowan whispers my name, but when my eyes snap to hers, she refrains from saying another word.
“I’m so fuckin’ sorry.” I shake my head. I’m blasted with so many different emotions, I don’t know which way to go. I grit my teeth and ask, "The little girl?"
Rowan nods. "Belle. She’s only eight, and they brought her in a couple months before Haven and Chapel were taken out. We need to find her. She tried to escape with me, but she hurt her foot, and they caught her. I don't know what they’ll do to her, but we have to help her." Tears begin to roll down all three of their cheeks.
Snake questions, "Why did the man in charge keep you three?"
Haven’s stare hardens. "He kept us for his personal use." My stomach twists with what that means.
Chapel expands on that, “Our beauty exceeded the others, and so does Belle’s. He would tell me that he was a selfish man and that the three of us were his precious possessions, but if we disobeyed, we would be traded.” She covers her mouth as the tears fall faster, and she gasps for breath. “The things he would make me...us do. I can’t go back there. Please,” She begs, her lip trembling as her pleading eyes gaze at Snake.
"What's his name?" I ask harsher than intended, but my blood is boiling, and fury so fierce bubbles inside of me. I have never felt this enraged before.
Rowan takes my hand in hers. "We don't know."
Hanger pipes in, "Is there anything else you can tell us?"
They shake their heads.
I open the door to leave the room. "I'm taking Rowan home. I'll meet you guys back at the clubhouse.”
She turns toward Haven and Chapel, and the three of them hug each other tightly. “I’ll be back soon,” She promises. Her eyes stay locked with theirs until she can no longer see them.
I hold the passenger side door open for her to slide into the seat. With her in, I shut the door before walking around and getting into the driver’s side. Gripping the steering wheel hard enough to turn my knuckles white, I glance over at her. "I'm sorry about that night. I've never forgiven myself for not going with you. It’s my fault. If I would have just fuckin’ gave into what I truly wanted, then you would have never been taken."
One side of her lips lift slightly. "It's not your fault, Jenson. Don’t blame yourself. No one could have known what Harold had planned. No one could have known that my tire would go flat. I’ve always wondered though, out of everyone that could have possibly shown up, why was he the one that supposedly came to rescue me? Why would he have even been on that street?" Her brows furrow as she ponders her questions. Which in turn has me beginning to wonder, was it really simply a coincidence that she got a flat tire? Everyone was inside during the game, could he have done something to her tire then followed her?
I turn the key in the ignition and my Camaro rumbles to life. “I’ll do whatever I have to in order to get answers. I’m going to save Belle. I promise you that.”
She nods and releases a deep breath. “Thank you.”
The drive to her house is quiet, but it’s not the uncomfortable kind of quiet. It’s more natural as if this is the way it’s supposed to be, her here with me always. My head is fucked up I don’t know what to fuckin’ do with it. On one hand, I want her more than anything in this world, and on the other, I know that she deserves better than I could ever give her. I want her to be happy even if I sacrifice my own desires for that to happen. I know I’m coming off hot and cold to her, but I have yet to find a resolution.
Dread seeps in when I pull up to the curb of her house. I wish she didn’t have to go, but I understand I have to let her try and bond with her family. “Call me if you need anything.” I hold my cell out for her to take. “I took the lock off. If you go through my contacts, all of my brothers’ numbers are in there, and they will immediately tell me if you called.”
She looks down at the device. “I can’t take your phone.”
“Yeah, you can.” Taking her hand, I place the phone in her palm. “I’ll get you your own soon. Use mine until then.”
"Okay. Thank you." She steps out of my car, and I sit there watching her walk into the house, not moving even after the front door closes.
I quietly close the door, but apparently, it wasn't soft enough because I heard footsteps race toward me.
"Rowan, where have you been? We've been so worried." My mom’s panicked voice causes me to spin around in surprise. I meet the wide eyes of my mom, dad, and brother as they surround me.
My hackles immediately rise as I begin to feel caged in. "I went out for a little bit. I'm fine. I didn't mean to make you worry."
"You can't just leave like that without telling us where you're going," My dad scolds.
"Why not? I'm not sixteen anymore, Dad. I'm twenty-six. I'm an adult. I understand that my returning has been hard on everyone, but shouldn't I attempt to live a normal life?" I stare at them in exasperation. I have been trying for the last week, but they’re making it impossible to move on from what happened to me. Yes, I won’t let them tell anyone I’m back, but that’s beside the point.
"Normal?" Tyler scoffs. "Nothing about this is normal. You show up out of the blue after missing for ten years, and you expect everyone to move on and do what you say? Are you sure you’re really telling us the truth? Maybe you simply ran away and couldn’t fend for yourself anymore. Maybe you knew giving Mom and Dad a sob story meant they would take you in without question."
My eyes narrow on Tyler irritated that he would hurl accusations at me. "I’m sorry that my sudden appearance has disrupted your life so much. I don’t care if you believe me or not.” I poke my finger into my chest as I hiss at him, “I know what happened to me. I know what I went through, and I know that I was lucky to make it out.” I angrily swipe away a tear that has rolled down my cheek. Rage surfaces, making me lash out, “You don't even live here anymore. Why are you here? Don’t you have your own family you should be taking care of? Officer...No wait…” I put my hand out in front of me, and in an overly dramatic fashion, I correct myself. “Detective Burris, shouldn’t your family be getting your attention instead of you interrogating me every chance you get?"
"That's right, I don't live here, but I'm here because Mom and Dad were worried sick about you. I’ve been doing research on your case, and I’m trying to help you. Don't be selfish."
That freaks me out, but I swallow my fear. Instead, I sneer, "Selfish? I'm not being selfish when I simply wanted to go out for a little bit. I have been stuck in this house for the last week, walking on eggshells and having all of you watch my every move. I needed space to breathe. Is it so wrong that I needed a little peace, that I needed to feel normal, that I needed to feel comfortable?”
Mom mediates, “No, honey, we understand. We were simply concerned about you is all. Maybe we should sit down as a family and discuss some rules.”
My eyes dart to her. “Why does there need to be rules? I’m twenty-six!”
Bam Bam’s words replay in my mind and refocus my attention on Tyler once again. “You’re doing research on my case, huh? Is it getting you anywhere? You finding any new answers? Maybe if you look into the good guys, you might get somewhere. Although, I’m figuring you won’t make much progress considering what I’ve been told.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” He throws back.
I fling the door open, and cold air hits my back, causing goosebumps to form on my body. “You’re the detective, you figure it out.” I’m still panicked, but this is my brother. He wouldn’t do anything to me on purpose. I keep reminding myself of that.
“Both of you stop!” Mom screeches.
“I’m going to get more air…if I’m allowed to do that.” I spin toward the front porch and sigh in relief. Bam Bam hasn’t left, and in fact, he’s gotten out of the car and is standing two feet in front of me.
“You aren’t leaving,” Dad demands.
Tyler groans, "That's who you went to see?"
I ignore my brother. "Take me with
you, please." Bam Bam grabs my hand with his, and we move to step off the porch, but Tyler comes after us.
"You aren't going with him!" He tries to pull me away from Bam Bam.
“Don’t touch me!” I spit at Tyler. I try to yank my arm away. “Let me go! You can’t tell me what to do.”
“Let her go, Tyler.” Bam Bam’s voice sounds calm, but I can hear the warning and can see the anger in his cold eyes.
“Stay out of this, asshole,” My brother yells at him.
In a flash, Bam Bam’s fist connects with Tyler’s jaw, and my brother falls to the ground.
“Hey!” My dad yells while my mom screams.
“Keep your fuckin’ hands off of her!” Bam Bam snarls at my brother before pulling me to his car. He holds the door open as I jump into the seat.
Once he’s in the driver’s seat, his tires squeal, and we peel out onto the street and drive away. I don’t look back.
I slam my bedroom door and turn to face Rowan. "What happened?" I’m trying to be calm, but I’m still reeling from punching Tyler.
She begins pacing. "I walked in, and they bombarded me. Told me I can't leave without telling anyone where I'm going. It just became too much, and I couldn't take it anymore. I want to move forward, I want to try and put the past ten years behind me, and they want to keep treating me like I'm sixteen still. They want answers, and I don’t want to talk about it. The only reason we told you guys is that we need help getting Belle out of there. No one can possibly understand what we went through, or the deep-seated shame that we feel from what was done to us. Haven and Chapel are more like family to me than my own blood." She stops ranting and throws her hands on her hips, taking in deep gulps of air.
"Ro, calm down. I understand where you’re coming from, but look at it from their point of view.” I step toward her and lift my hands to run my fingers through her jet black hair. Fisting her strands, I stare into her gorgeous cloud colored eyes. “They just got you back. It's going to take time for everyone to adjust. Maybe you should sit down and talk to them, tell them how you’re feeling. Doing that doesn’t mean you have to go into details about what happened to you. I’m sure they would understand." I lift her chin with one hand while the other moves to the back of her neck. Her gaze meets mine. “Don’t ever feel ashamed of what happened to you. It wasn’t your fault.”
"I know it wasn’t, but after being there for so long, I stopped fighting and allowed it to happen. I wish my family could treat me the way you do. You don't push or pressure me. You don't constantly try to control or watch me."
I chuckle. "You haven't been around me. I've thought about you every day, wondering what you were doing, where you were, when I would see you again. If you’re around me enough, I’m sure you’d think I’m as much of an asshole as your brother is."
Her lips lift into a full beautiful smile, and she sucks her bottom lip in to keep from laughing. “You punched him for me.”
Shrugging, I grin down at her. “He shouldn’t have grabbed you.” Truth is, I’ve been tempted to hit him for a long time, this gave me the push I needed to go through with it.
She gazes up at me through her dark lashes, her eyes growing heavy. "You’ve thought about me?"
"Yeah. I care about you, Ro, I always have. I've blamed myself every day since you were taken. Like I said, I should have given into what I really wanted instead of fighting it."
She bites her bottom lip. "I had plans that night."
My smile falls, and I swallow hard. "Plans?"
"I was going to tell you that I loved you. I wanted you to be the one who took my virginity."
Dropping my hands, I step away from her. "Now, I feel even worse." I turn to face away from her. I don’t think I have the courage to speak while facing her. I’m a fuckin’ asshole for that alone. “I gave you mixed signals then, and I’ve been so hot and cold toward you now…I can’t be what you need, Ro, but I don’t know how to let you go so you can find someone you deserve.”
"Don't do that, Jenson. Don’t push me away. Back then, I was stupid. I mean, we were kids, and you didn't think of me like that anyway. I was always Tyler's little sister, I get that. I have to say, I still hate Patty St. Clair though.” She laughs and glides in front of me. Her eyes meeting mine. “But now, I’m not asking for anything. So much time has passed, and I don’t want to waste this second chance. I wanted you to hear the truth, that’s all. I don’t expect anything from you, nor do I want you to give me more than you can offer. All I’ve ever wanted was you. That’s all I still wish for. It doesn’t matter to me the person you are now or the things you’ve done. What does matter is the connection we’ve had since we were kids, and today, that connection is stronger than ever.”
I run my hand through my dark brown hair and swivel my body away from her, forcing my back against the wall as I lean against it and tilt my head up. "It wasn’t stupid. I knew what was going to happen that night if I went with you, and I wanted it, but at the same time, it scared the shit outta me. There was this web spun, and I fell into it, which is why I didn’t go with you."
Her brows shoot up, and she gapes at me. I think I shocked her. "Scared you?" She questions.
"Yeah, I loved you too, but I realized if we crossed that line, I would end up hurting you, and I couldn't do that. Not to you. I tried hard to fight my feelings for you, but I wished you’d be mine. Tyler was my best friend, and I believed I would fuck everything up if I gave in. Being with you then risked my friendship with him, and I couldn’t lose both of you if I did something stupid."
"So, it wasn't all in my head? I mean, the way you looked at me?"
"No.” I shake my head. “You were so fuckin' gorgeous, and it would piss me off when guys ogled you, desired you. Any one of them could have you, but I couldn’t."
Her hands touch my cheeks, bringing my gaze to meet hers. "I didn’t want any of those other boys, I only ever longed for you. I get it though. How do you think I felt when all the girls flirted with you and tried to get your attention? I was so jealous of them. And as good looking as I thought you were then, now you're...I can’t even describe how sexy you are to me.” She reaches up, touching the lock of my hair that hides part of my face. “Especially when your hair falls to the side covering your eye like it is now. The clean-cut boy was cute, but this man that stands before me is sexy and dark and sinful, but even that’s an understatement.” Her hand pulls on my beard. “This beard…”
My cock tightens against the zipper of my jeans, and I’m losing what strength I have to fight this…her.
Her finger caresses one of my arms covered in ink. “These tattoos…” She runs her thumb lightly across my closed lips. “These and the way they felt against mine…it might have only been a second, but my whole body was on fire. I have never felt like that, and I believe that you’re the only one that could give my body what it so desperately craves.”
I smirk. "Yeah?"
She slowly nods her head, a grin forming. "Yeah."
I quickly spin, pushing her against the wall. I cage her in and grab a fistful of her hair. After searching her eyes for a brief moment, I slam my mouth against hers.
My lips move from hers, gliding across her cheek and down to her neck. Her hands play in my hair while mine move up under her T-shirt. My fingertips graze over her flesh, sweeping upward until I reach her bra. Pushing the material away, I cup her heavy tit in my hand, roughly massaging while labored breaths escape her. Rowan’s quiet moans goad me on even further. My cock is so fuckin’ hard and begging to be free. I wanna be inside her so fuckin’ bad, more than I've ever wanted anything. I wanna feel her, explore her. I want to give in to this ridiculous craving I’ve had for her for all these years. I want to give in to her desperation, her desire, her need, and her trust in me.
"Jenson," She mewls.
"I got you," I whisper against the shell of her ear and lightly nip her skin. Pulling back, I yank her shirt over her head before dropping to her bra and unclasping it. Both articles
fly across the room. She follows my movements, removing my cut. I take it from her and walk over to my closet to hang it up. Spinning to face her, I pull my own shirt over my head and let it fall to the floor. Her eyes rake over my toned chest, abs, and colorful skin. She bites down on her bottom lip, trying to contain her grin.
I stalk toward her. Lifting my arm, I lay my palm against the wall and dip my head down. My hair falls into my eye, and my tone deepens when I speak, “You like what you see?”
"I do." Her mouth meets mine.
"Good," I murmur before deepening the kiss. Shifting us over to the bed, I play with the button of her jeans until they open, and I slide them along with her panties down her legs and off her feet.
Once both of us are completely naked, I bend, picking her up and fall down on my bed. She giggles, but the enchanting sound slowly fades as our gazes lock together. I caress her cheek with my thumb while her hands glide up and down my back. "You're gorgeous, Ro. Always have been." I study her for any sign of hesitation, making sure she isn’t second-guessing this. I find nothing except her eyes glossed over with lust.
"I want you, Jenson. Always have."
Her hooded eyes plead with me to not stop. Feeling her soft flesh pressed against my hard body is the best sensation in the fuckin’ world. Having her under me is a fuckin’ wet dream come to life. I desire this too much to even try and stop what we’ve started. I may not be able to be what she needs or deserves, but God damn it, I can fuckin’ love her and let her be mine for tonight. Tomorrow, I will try and let her go.
Reaching down, I run my finger through her pussy, gathering her wetness until I reach her clit and move my digit in slow, small circles. Her lips part as her eyes squeeze shut. “You’re so fuckin’ wet.” I touch my lips to the side of her neck and pepper kisses along her flesh. “Does it feel good?”
