CHAPTER TWO
Jeo
“Nick leave?”
Tony stood in the archway to the living room, a blue towel wrapped around his trim waist.
“Yep.”
“Did you guys argue?” he asked reproachfully.
“He had bruises on his arm. Said some guy got rough with him.”
Tony looked shocked.
“Where had he been tonight, T?”
“He said he’d been at Lux and hadn’t had a good time.”
“That fancy club in Manhattan where rich gay guys get their freak on?”
“They only do that on the upper floor,” Tony said.
I wondered how Nick could afford the place now he wasn’t with money bags Royce. I didn’t like it that some prick there had hurt Nick.
Poker game over, the guys started trickling in. Tease and Trace plopped down on the sofa, and Tease turned on the television. Adam walked out onto the front porch, and I heard Matteo talking to Lake in the kitchen.
“We’re heading out.” Zeke appeared with his arm slung around his husband, Morgan’s, shoulders. Blaze followed behind them, beer in hand.
“Drive safe,” I said. I stepped onto the porch and took out my cigarettes as Blaze chatted with Morgan and Zeke and the way to Zeke’s bike.
“Can I bum one of those?” Adam was only a dark silhouette on the porch swing.
“You don’t smoke.”
Adam shrugged and took a cigarette from my pack. I flicked my lighter for him.
“Rotten habit to take up,” I said before lighting my own. “I’ve been thinking about quitting.”
Adam stared into the distance and didn’t comment.
“Everything okay?” I asked. He’d been spending more and more time at the clubhouse lately. Adam and I hadn’t always seen eye-to-eye. I knew he’d considered me a slut before I’d gotten my act together, and rightly so. But he’d always wanted the best for me. He was my club brother, and I loved him. I should’ve been there for him more since he’d gotten hurt.
“Not really, but I don’t want to talk about it.”
Adam had moved into my room after Tony and Cane had gotten together, and recently he’d been having some episodes that were worrisome. Sometimes he’d get dizzy, and sometimes he’d just zone out. We all knew it had to do with the head injury he’d sustained a couple years back when he’d walked in on a break-in at Zeke and Morgan’s house, and we were all worried about him. Matteo had taken Adam to see his doctor, who had ordered a battery of tests. We were still waiting for the results.
As Zeke backed out of the driveway, Blaze walked up the porch steps.
“Hey, I’ve got a favor to ask you,” he said to me.
I squinted up at him through my exhale of cigarette smoke. Laughter carried from down the street, followed by car doors closing. “Yeah?”
“Seb’s done a few porn scenes, all of them solo since Cane didn’t come through that time. Julianne and I want to film a Daddy/boy scene. I know you’ve quit the business, but I thought maybe you’d consider doing one, just to help Seb break in. He likes you, and with Cane not doing the porn anymore, I don’t have a good choice for a Daddy. No penetration, just oral.”
I opened my mouth to say no because I was done doing porn too but then thought better of it. I didn’t like to let Blaze down, and lately I’d gotten curious about the whole Daddy/boy thing. Because of Nick, a voice in my head said. You were never particularly curious before.
“Sure,” I said.
Blaze grinned at me. “Thanks, man. I promise it’s a one-time thing. I’m getting ready to audition some new people.”
Blaze went inside, Adam and I continued to smoke in silence.
My feelings for Nick were complicated. There’d been a time I would have said I didn’t have any feelings for him, but I was done deluding myself. Yeah, I was attracted to him. He was a pretty little thing, always swinging his cute ass and flirting up a storm with everybody—how could I not be? And he liked to wear skirts and heels. It made my pansexual dick hard.
But he was also a firecracker who gave me a major headache when he got going, and I didn’t need that. I’d been trying to turn things around. I’d been in a rut for too long, and one day I’d told myself I had to break free. What was I doing with my life? I’d turned forty, lived with a bunch of men, and did porn for a living. Where was that getting me? Absolutely nowhere. I didn’t like to admit it, but I was fully aware Nick’s obvious disgust and annoyance with me during the time Blaze had made him my assistant had been a big part of that realization.
I’d quit porn, and for the past year I’d been living off my savings while donating my time at a local LGBTQ center. Nobody knew about it except Morgan, who’d helped set me up there, and I’d sworn him to silence. I knew he’d probably told Zeke, but Zeke could keep a secret. Recently, Gabe, the guy who ran the place—a brother of someone Morgan used to dance with—offered me a paying job. I was going to be, for lack of a better term, the house father at the center. I’d be moving in next week and had yet to tell any of my club brothers about it.
I’d had to convince myself it wouldn’t hurt for me to live somewhere else. It wasn’t like I was going to quit the Hedonists. They were my family. Axel lived with Caleb, and Foghorn with Cupcake, Dante with Isaac, and Zeke with Morgan. None of them had deserted the club. And at my age, I felt I should be out on my own—if you could call living in the apartment over a youth shelter on my own.
I sighed and stubbed out my cigarette on the bottom of my shoe. No time like the present.
“I’m about to make a little announcement, if you want to step inside,” I told Adam as I stood up. He blinked at me and nodded before following me into the living room where I hollered for everybody to get in there. Trace turned down the TV while the rest of the gang filed in, varying degrees of curiosity on their faces.
As I explained my plans, I watched them closely. All looked surprised, and a few concerned.
“You’ve been working at the center?” Lake asked.
“I thought you were out clubbing and screwing around,” Tony said.
“Yeah, well, I wasn’t. In fact, the only times I’ve been clubbing is when you’ve seen me at The Yellow Banana, and I haven’t screwed anyone in months.”
That really shocked them.
“Wait. Did you just say you’ve been abstinent for longer than a day?” Matteo asked, and I threw a pillow at him.
“Yeah, you fucker. I can keep it in my pants when I want to.”
“You didn’t get some kind of…condition, did you?” Lake asked, smirking.
Before I could bite into him for that, Blaze said, “I think that’s great, Hung. We’re gonna miss you here, though. What are your duties at Rainbow House?”
“I’ll be here plenty, don’t you worry. Since Rainbow House is a short-term living shelter, Gabe needs someone there all night every night, and he can’t do it all the time. So, I’ll have certain nights when I have to be there. I’m also helping him keep an eye on everyone when he or his day manager can’t be present. And stop looking at me like that, T. You and Cane share a room now. Don’t act like I’m deserting you.”
“It’s just that I’ll miss you,” Tony said, lunging for me and giving me a fierce hug.
“You call me if you need me,” I said into his blond hair. I glared over his shoulder at Cane. “If your boyfriend pisses you off, you can come stay with me.”
“That’s not going to happen,” Cane said, tugging Tony out of my arms and into his. I grinned, always happy when provoking the guy. Tony was the club pet, and he and I were close. He was the little brother who’d replaced my own back in Brazil. It had taken some time for me to believe it, but I knew he and Cane were good together. That didn’t mean I was going to admit that out loud, of course, and it also didn’t mean I was going to stop keeping an eye out for him.
“Why didn’t you tell us you were at the LBGT center?” Tease asked. “Hell, I’d volunteer some time if they need me.�
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“That’s great, buddy. I’ll let them know,” I said. “I didn’t say anything because—hell, I don’t know. It was just easier to let you think I was out partying.”
Blaze gave me a reproachful look but didn’t comment.
We talked a while more, and when everybody split to go to their own rooms, I took my turn in the shower. When I walked into the darkened bedroom, Adam was already snoring in his bed.
Flinging the damp towel in the corner, I lay down, thinking about Nick again. Why I couldn’t get the little fucker out of my mind, I didn’t know. I’d dropped the dishes I had been putting away when I’d heard him telling Tony he was getting a wax and bleach on Monday. God, the image that put into my mind could make me blow my load in seconds if I let myself linger on it. Nick was into the Daddy/boy scene, and I couldn’t deny that was a small part of the reason I’d so readily agreed to do the porn with Seb, although I would seriously do anything for Blaze. A part of me was curious. I wanted to see what it was like to play that role. Just for curiosity’s sake.
I turned onto my stomach in the dark room, cock pressed against the cool sheets, wondering what it would be like to have Nick in my bed. I longed to shut him up with my tongue down his throat, or better yet, my dick. He wouldn’t be able to take all of me, but I’d enjoy seeing him try.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I wasn’t going to jack off with Adam asleep across the room, so I forced myself not to think about Nick anymore and drifted off to sleep.
CHAPTER THREE
Nick
My arm remained sore for several days and the bruises lasted even longer, a bitter reminder of my first solo Daddy/boy night on Lux’s kink floor. Even so, the following Saturday I went again. I had a membership, and I was damned if I was going to let some overzealous fucker keep me away.
One side of the top floor was set aside for heavier kink, but not being into that stuff, I’d never checked it out. Royce and I had always hung out in the downstairs dining room or at the bar area, where I was headed now. I hadn’t exactly been crushed when Royce had ended things with me, but my ego was a little bruised, so I hoped I wouldn’t see him.
I plastered a confident smile on my face and ordered a Manhattan. Leaning back, drink in hand, I people-watched. I didn’t see Allen Terrell, thank God, but I swore if I did, I wouldn’t run this time. I still couldn’t believe I had in the first place. Months ago, I would have kneed the guy in the balls and made a scene for his getting too rough with me, but what had I done? Fucking panicked and fled like a pack of dogs were at my heels. No wonder Leo Roman had sent someone after me. I blushed just thinking about it.
And why had I turned into such a wimp? Karl Bruder hadn’t done anything to me except threaten me and lock me in a closet. None of that warranted the fear that overcame me when I was closed in small spaces and, evidently, also when someone got a little rough with me.
I didn’t like being weak, and I was determined to get over the phobia I’d developed.
“Hi. Mind if I sit here?”
I turned my head to find one of Royce’s friends, Marty Wexler, looking me over with interest. Never happier than when I had a man’s attention, I smiled at him.
He wasn’t much taller than I was, but broad, with muscular arms and shoulders that told me he lifted weights. His dark hair was military short, and his thin lips were spread in a smile that fanned laugh lines from his eyes.
“Go right ahead,” I said, continuing to lean leisurely against the bar, sipping my drink. I’d worn a see-through mesh shirt and leopard print pants that I knew looked good on my lithe form. I’d had several interested looks from men while I’d been standing there, and I could tell Marty liked what he saw. A thrill ran through me at the thought, closely followed by a flicker of fear that I squashed.
“I heard you and Royce were split,” Marty said. “Guess it’s true since you’re here all alone.”
“Yep.” I looked at him from beneath my lashes as I drank.
“You have the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen.” Marty scooted closer. “I always thought Royce was a lucky man to have you in his bed.”
I smiled coyly at him and finished my drink.
“May I buy you another?” Marty asked.
“Sure.”
His eyes lingered on my nipples beneath the mesh shirt, reminding me how long it had been since I’d been fucked into a mattress. Truthfully, Royce had never really done that, much as I’d wished he would.
Take it slow, I told myself.
“You’re such a pretty little thing,” Marty said as he handed me my drink.
I smiled, enjoying the dance of courtship. It had been a while since I’d been single. “You like?”
“Very much,” he said. “I can’t imagine letting a boy like you go. Royce must be crazy.”
“Our parting was mutual,” I said.
“Still, I wouldn’t have let you go so easily.”
A few months ago, that statement wouldn’t have bothered me. I would have smiled demurely and flirted back. But now the words felt like a threat. Hardening my tone, I said, “I’m not a doormat.”
Marty’s brow went up. “That what Royce treated you like?”
I let out a frustrated sigh. “No. I don’t want to talk about my past relationship, okay?” I turned away from him, but he stepped closer, mouth to my ear and hard groin pressed against my lower back. “Hey, sorry. I didn’t mean to suggest you don’t have your own mind or something.”
“It’s okay,” I said. “Thanks for the drink.” I pushed away from the bar and wandered around the room. I smiled at a few people and turned my eyes away from others. I’d been with Royce a couple of years, and being there alone felt weird.
Out of nowhere, the vivid memory popped into my mind of Jeo gently running his fingers over my arm, eyes full of concern. Damn, why did the man have to have a caring side? I reminded myself he had purposely put Royce in danger, probably to spite me because we were usually at one another’s throats, but that couldn’t wipe away the safe feeling I’d had in the few seconds he’d examined my arm or the fact that I sometimes longed for something with him I could never have.
“Fuck it,” I said aloud and headed for the door.
“Leaving so early?”
I turned to find Marty striding toward me.
“I’m not feeling very social tonight,” I said.
He stepped closer until he had me cornered near the door. When he brought his lips to my ear, his warm breath sent a tremor down my back, part desire, part discomfort. “Stay a while. Please.”
I glanced at the door. I’d promised myself I wouldn’t run again. “All right.”
Marty smiled and moved away, and I allowed him to lead me toward a plum-colored velvet couch in the corner.
“Another drink?” Marty asked, but I shook my head. We sat close, thighs touching. “I’d like to get to know you better, boy.”
I glanced at him. I was sure I’d flirted with the man in the past because I flirted with everyone. He was attractive and a Daddy. Why was I hesitating?
“You’re just the kind of boy I like,” Marty said, taking my hand and in his and playing with my fingers.
I raised a brow. “And what kind is that?”
“Feisty. I’ll bet you’re a real tiger in bed. I enjoy a challenge.”
I mentally rolled my eyes. Great. Most men thought that about me, and in a way it was true. But I only fought because there was something I wanted—needed—from them, and I never got it. I wasn’t sure I could even define what it was.
I tried looking at the man with new eyes. There wasn’t anything wrong with him. There wasn’t another guy there that would be a better candidate. I was only being sensitive—letting that unease that had crept into my life take over.
Marty rested his hand my knee. “What do you think about seeing if we’re physically compatible?”
My heartbeat picked up. Did I want to go in one of the back rooms with him like I had Allen Terrell?
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Nick, do you want a fucking Daddy, or not? Because if not, you need to stop coming here and torturing yourself.
“Sure. No penetration though. Not tonight.”
Marty’s grin widened, his Daddy Dom side becoming stronger by the moment. He stood and held out his hand to help me up.
“Come on, then, boy.”
I took his hand and headed toward the playrooms, hoping I wouldn’t regret it.
CHAPTER FOUR
Jeo
“Hey, Jeo, what are you doing here so early?”
I looked up from my pile of paperwork. Nathan, a resident at Rainbow House, stood next to my desk looking uncertain. I knew he was having trouble fitting in, so I smiled encouragingly.
“Hey, man. I live here now. Didn’t you hear? Got my stuff moved in last week.”
Nathan’s eyes widened. “Really?”
I nodded. “The apartment upstairs. This way I can keep an eye on things, and Gabe won’t have to come over at weird hours.” Located in the Bronx, the center was close to a forty minute drive from where Gabe lived in Hackensack, and until he’d asked me if I was interested in living there, Gabe had gone through a series of night-shift managers who hadn’t worked out very well. Some stole from the center, others made residents uncomfortable. But they knew me, and I was honest.
“Oh, that’s cool.” Nathan said.
“How’s it been going? You find a job yet?”
Part of what I enjoyed about working at Rainbow House was meeting the young people who stayed there and helping them get on their feet. I couldn’t blame the guys at the clubhouse for assuming I’d been out messing around—it’s what I’d done for years—but it had been important for me to find myself before letting them in on it. The day after I had announced I was moving out, Tony had pulled me aside, looking for the world like someone had kicked his puppy, and apologized for every single time he’d razzed me on the subject. I’d rolled my eyes and gotten him in a headlock, knuckling his scalp until he swore he was going to burn my collection of first edition nudie mags if I didn’t stop.
The Diva and his Daddy Page 2
