Bon Mots, Wisecracks, and Gags

by Robert E. Drennan

  George Oppenheimer, while an editor at Viking Press, was once assigned to collect material for a question-book called Ask Me Another. As a promotional gimmick the editors were advised to first test the questions on various celebrities. Covering the “famous authors” section, Oppenheimer asked Beatrice Kaufman: “Who wrote The Virginian?”

  “Owen Wister,” Beatrice answered.

  Oppenheimer’s next question read: “Who wrote The Virginians?”

  Reacting against the gimmicky pattern of the questions, Beatrice answered, “Owens Wisters.”

  Peggy Wood

  Peggy Wood, actress and Round Table frequenter, joined the group one day while Woollcott was discussing the feasibility of reviving Macbeth as a Broadway play. Acknowledging the arrival of Miss Wood, Aleck said, “We’re discussing the cast. I don’t think you’d make a very good Lady Macbeth, do you, Peggy?”

  “No, Aleck,” she answered. “But you would.”

  A more recent view of the

  Algonquin Lounge at cocktail time

  Selected Bibliographies

  FRANKLIN P. ADAMS

  Answer This One: Questions for Everybody, compiled by F.P.A. and Harry Hansen. New York, E. J. Clode, Inc., 1927.

  The Book of Diversion, compiled by F.P.A., Deems Taylor, Jack Bechdolt. New York, Greenberg, Inc., 1925.

  By and Large. Garden City, Doubleday, Page & Co., 1914.

  Christopher Columbus and Other Patriotic Verses. New York, The Viking Press, 1931.

  Column Book of F.P.A. Garden City, Doubleday, Doran & Co., Inc., 1928.

  The Diary of Our Own Samuel Pepys, New York, Simon and Schuster, 1935.

  FPA Book of Quotations, A New Collection of Famous Sayings. New York, Funk & Wagnalls Co., 1952.

  Half a Loaf. Garden City, Doubleday, Page & Co., 1927.

  In Cupid’s Court (Poems). Evanston, W. S. Lord, 1902.

  In Other Words (Poems). Garden City, Doubleday, Page & Co., 1912.

  Innocent Merriment, compiled by F.P.A. New York, London, Whittlesey House, McGraw-Hill Book Co., 1942.

  The Melancholy Lute: Selected Songs of Thirty Years. New York, The Viking Press, 1936.

  Nods and Becks. London, New York, Whittlesey House, McGraw-Hill Book Co., Inc., 1944.

  Overset. Garden City, Doubleday, Page & Co., 1922.

  So Much Velvet. Garden City, Doubleday, Page & Co., 1924.

  So There! Garden City, Doubleday, Page & Co., 1923.

  Something Else Again. Garden City, Doubleday, Page & Co., 1920.

  Tobogganning on Parnassus. Garden City, Doubleday, Page & Co., 1911.

  Weights and Measures. Garden City, Doubleday, Page & Co., 1917.

  The World, New York: The Conning Tower Book, edited by F.P.A. New York, Macy-Masius, 1926.

  ROBERT BENCHLEY

  After 1903—What?, with drawings by Gluyas Williams. New York, London, Harper & Brothers, 1938.

  Benchley Beside Himself, with drawings by Gluyas Williams. New York, London, Harper & Brothers, 1943.

  Benchley—or Else], with drawings by Gluyas Williams. New York, Harper, 1947.

  The Benchley Roundup: a Selection by Nathaniel Benchley of His Favorites, with drawings by Gluyas Williams. New York, Harper, 1954.

  Chips Off the Old Benchley, with an introduction by Frank Sullivan and drawings by Gluyas Williams. New York, Harper, 1949.

  The Early Worm, with drawings by Gluyas Williams. New York, H. Holt & Company, 1927.

  From Bed to Worse: or, Comforting Thoughts about the Bison. New York, London, Harper & Brothers, 1934.

  Inside Benchley, with drawings by Gluyas Williams. New York, London, Harper & Brothers, 1942.

  Love Conquers All, with drawings by Gluyas Williams. New York, H. Holt & Company, 1922.

  My Ten Years in a Quandary, and How They Grew. New York, London, Harper & Brothers, 1936.

  No Poems: or, Around the World Backwards and Sideways. New York, London, Harper & Brothers, 1932.

  Of All Things. New York, H. Holt & Company, 1921.

  Pluck and Luck, with drawings by Gluyas Williams. New York, H. Holt & Company, 1925.

  The “Reel” Benchley: Benchley at His Hilarious Best in Words and Pictures. New York, Wyn, 1950.

  The Treasurer s Report, and Other Aspects of Community Singing, with drawings by Gluyas Williams. New York, London, Harper & Brothers, 1930.

  20,000 Leagues Under the Sea: or, David Copperfield, with drawings by Gluyas Williams. New York, Henry Holt & Company, 1928.

  ABOUT ROBERT BENCHLEY:

  Robert Benchley, a Biography, by Nathaniel Benchley. New York, McGraw-Hill, 1955.

  HEYWOOD BROUN

  The A.E.F., With General Pershing and the American Forces. New York, London, D. Appleton & Co., 1918.

  Anthony Comstock, Roundsman of the Lord, by Heywood Broun and Margaret Leech. New York, A. & C. Boni, 1927.

  The Boy Grew Older. New York, London, G. P. Putnam’s Sons, 1922.

  Christians Only, a Study of Prejudice, by Heywood Broun and George Britt. New York, The Vanguard Press, 1931.

  Collected Edition of Heywood Broun, compiled by Heywood (Hale) Broun. New York, Harcourt, Brace & Co., 1941.

  Gandle Follows His Nose. New York, Boni & Liveright, 1926. It Seems to Me, 1925-1935. New York, Harcourt, Brace & Co., 1935.

  Our Army at the Front. New York, Charles Scribner’s Sons, 1918.

  Pieces of Hate and Other Enthusiasms. New York, G. H. Doran Co., 1922.

  Seeing Things at Night. New York, Harcourt,- Brace & Co., 1921.

  A Shepherd. New York, William Edwin Rudge, 1926(?).

  Sitting on the World. New York, London, G. P. Putnam’s Sons, 1924.

  The Sun Field. New York, London, G. P. Putnam’s Sons, 1923.

  ABOUT HEYWOOD BROUN:

  Heywood Broun as He Seemed to Us, by John L. Lewis, F.P.A., and others. New York, pub. for Newspaper Guild (Random House), 1940.

  GEORGE S. KAUFMAN

  Bravo!, a play in three acts, by Kaufman and Edna Ferber. New York, Dramatists Play Service, 1949.

  The Butter and Egg Man, a comedy in three acts. New York, French, 1930.

  The Dark Tower, melodrama by Kaufman and Alexander Woollcott. New York, Random House, 1934.

  Dinner at Eight, a play in three acts, by Kaufman and Edna Ferber. New York, French, 1959.

  First Lady, a play in three acts, by Kaufman and Katherine Dayton. New York, Random House, 1935.

  June Moon, a comedy by Kaufman and Ring Lardner. New York, London, Charles Scribner’s Sons, 1930.

  The Land Is Bright, a play in three acts, by Kaufman and Edna Ferber. New York, Dramatists Play Service, 1946.

  The Man Who Came to Dinner, by Kaufman and Moss Hart. New York, Random House, 1939.

  The Royal Family, a comedy in three acts, by Kaufman and Edna Ferber. New York, French, 1929.

  Sister Seraphinds Schiaparelli, a one-act farce. Philadelphia, The Penn Play Co., 1944.

  Six Plays by Kaufman and Hart. New York, Modern Library, 1942.

  Stage Door, a play in three acts, by Kaufman and Edna Ferber. New York, Dramatists Play Service, 1941.

  You Can’t Take It With You, by Kaufman and Moss Hart. New York, Dramatists Play Service, 1937.

  RING LARDNER

  Bib Ballads, with drawings by Fontaine Fox. Chicago, P. F. Volland & Co., 1915.

  The Big Town. New York, London, Charles Scribner’s Sons, 1925.

  The Ecstasy of Owen Muir. London, Cape, 1954.

  Gullible’s Travels. Chicago, University of Chicago Press, 1965.

  First and Last. New York, London, Charles Scribner’s Sons, 1934.

  The Homecoming of Chas. A. Comiskey, etc. Chicago, The Blakely Printing Co., 1914.

  How to Write Short Stories (With Samples). New York, London, Charles Scribner’s Sons, 1924.

  Lose With a Smile. New York, Charles Scribner’s Sons, 1933.

  The Love Nest, and Other Stories. New York, Charles Scribner’s Sons, 1926.

  Own Your Own Ho
me, with drawings by Fontaine Fox. Indianapolis, The Bobbs-Merrill Co., 1919.

  The Portable Ring Lardner, edited by Gilbert Seldes. New York, The Viking Press, 1946.

  The Real Dope, with drawings by May Wilson Preston and M. L. Blumenthal. Indianapolis, The Bobbs-Merrill Co., 1919.

  Ring Lardner’s Best Stories. Garden City, Garden City Publishing Co., Inc., 1938.

  Roundup, The Stories of Ring W. Lardner. New York, Charles Scribner’s Sons, 1929.

  Say It With Oil. New York, George H. Doran Co., 1923.

  Shut Up, He Explained: A Ring Lardner Selection, edited by Babette Rosmond and Henry Morgan. New York, Scribner, 1962.

  The Story of a Wonder Man: being the Autobiography of Ring Lardner, with drawings by Margaret Freeman. New York, Scribner, 1927.

  Treat ‘em Rough: Letters from Jack the Kaiser Killer, with drawings by Frank Crerie. Indianapolis, The Bobbs-Merrill Co., 1918.

  What Of It? New York, London, Charles Scribner’s Sons, 1925.

  You Know Me Al: A Busher’s Letters. New York, George H. Doran Co., 1916.

  The Young Immigrunts. Indianapolis, The Bobbs-Merrill Co., 1920.

  ABOUT RING LARDNER:

  Ring Lardner, a Biography, by Donald Elder. Garden City, Doubleday, 1956.

  DOROTHY PARKER

  After Such Pleasures. New York, The Viking Press, 1933.

  Close Harmony, or, The Lady Next Door, a play in three acts by Dorothy Parker and Elmer Rice. New York, Samuel French; London, French, Ltd., 1929.

  Collected Poems: Not So Deep as a Well. New York, The Viking Press, 1936.

  The Collected Poetry of Dorothy Parker. New York, The Modern Library, 1944.

  Death and Taxes. New York, The Viking Press, 1931.

  Dorothy Parker, with an Introduction by W. Somerset Maugham. New York, The Viking Press, 1944.

  Enough Rope: Poems by Dorothy Parker. New York, Boni & Liveright, 1926.

  Here Lies. The Collected Stories of Dorothy Parker. New York, The Viking Press, 1939.

  The Ladies of the Corridor, a drama in two acts, by Dorothy Parker and Arnaud d’Usseau. New York, French, 1954.

  Laments for the Living. New York, The Viking Press, 1930.

  Sunset Gun; Poems by Dorothy Parker. New York, Boni and liveright, 1928.

  ALEXANDER WOOLLCOTT

  The Command Is Forward, with drawings by Le Roy Bald-ridge. New York, The Century Co., 1919.

  The Dark Tower, a melodrama by A. Woollcott and George S. Kaufman. New York, Random House, 1934.

  Enchanted Aisles. New York, London, G. P. Putnam’s Sons, 1924.

  Going to Pieces. New York, London, G. P. Putnam’s Sons, 1928.

  The Good Companions. New York, Privately Printed, 1936.

  The Letters of Alexander Woollcott, edited by Beatrice Kaufman and Joseph Hennessey. New York, The Viking Press, 1943.

  Long, Long Ago. New York, The Viking Press, 1943.

  The Portable Woollcott, selected by Joseph Hennessey. New York, The Viking Press, 1944.

  Woollcott’s Second Reader, selections by A. Woollcott. New York, The Viking Press, 1937.

  Shouts and Murmurs. London, L. Parsons, 1923.

  The Story of Irving Berlin, with drawings by Neysa McMein. New York, London, G. P. Putnam’s Sons, 1925.

  Two Gentlemen and a Lady (Verdun Belle), with drawings by Edwina. New York, Coward-McCann, Inc., 1928.

  As You Were, selected by A. Woollcott. New York, The Viking Press, 1934.

  While Rome Burns. New York, The Viking Press, 1934.

  The Woollcott Reader; Bypaths in the Realms of Gold, selected by A. Woollcott. New York, The Viking Press, 1935.

  Mr. Dickens Goes to the Play. New York, London, G. P. Putnam’s Sons, 1922.

  ABOUT ALEXANDER WOOLLCOTT:

  A. Woollcott, His Life and His World, by Samuel Hopkins Adams. New York, Reynal & Hitchcock, 1945.

  Alec the Great, by Philistina (pseudonym). New York, Avalon Press, 1943.

  BOOKS ABOUT THE ALGONQUIN HOTEL

  Algonquin Cat, by Val Schaffner and Hilary Knight, New York, Delacorte Press/Friede, 1980.

  Blessed Are the Debonair, by Margaret Case Harriman, with drawings by Mircea. New York, Rinehart, 1956.

  Do Not Disturb, by Frank Case; with drawings by O. Soglow. New York, Frederick A. Stokes Co., 1940.

  Feeding the Lions; an Algonquin Cookbook, by Frank Case. New York, The Greystone Press, 1942.

  Tales of a Wayward Inn, by Frank Case. New York, Frederick A. Stokes Co., 1938.

  The Vicious Circle; the Story of the Algonquin Round Table, by Margaret Case Harriman, with drawings by AI Hirschfeld. New York, Rinehart, 1951.

  Wits End, by James R. Gaines, New York, Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, 1977.

  In progress:

  The Ten Year Lunch, by Aviva Slesin, to be published by Alfred A. Knopf.