by Celeste Raye
“Is there something that you're not telling me, brother?”
Frank shook his head and told him that there was nothing else, but Neil didn't believe him. He wanted to, but there was a nagging suspicion that Frank knew more than he was telling
Neil tried to take it slow, but it was harder than he had imagined. After a few days of just talking to her for a few minutes and then Audra running off, Neil was done with that plan altogether. He didn't want to wait any longer, and a part of him knew if he pushed the subject, Audra would break.
She had just gotten in for the day, and Neil walked up behind Audra and touched her lightly on the back of the neck. He remembered kissing the exact same place and the reaction that he had gotten from her. Neil would have given anything for that reaction now. It would have done him some good and made it impossible for him to think straight.
“Hey, Neil. What are you doing here so early?”
She moved back a little bit, and he saw her hand go to the place where he had touched her. The desire had crept up in her eyes quickly, and he knew why. All from a little touch.
“I just thought I would get a jump on the day. There is a couple of shipments coming in, so I thought I would look them over. Inventory has been a little off.”
“Oh. Has it? I was supposed to do it last week and then you came in, and to be honest, I can't say that I did a very good job. I was…distracted.”
“What has you so distracted nowadays?”
“Please don't act like you don't know what's going on, Neil. You know damn well what has me distracted. You have been messing with my head ever since I met you. And nothing's changed, has it?”
He wanted to act like he didn't know what she was talking about, but he did. Neil knew that he was doing everything in his power to get what he wanted. He wanted her, and no matter what it took, Neil was going to get it.
“I was just asking a question. I thought we had gotten to know each other pretty well in the short time that we were together, but then you up and left. I have been thinking that you took off from me for a year. So, I guess I don't think I know you as well as I thought I did. So, what has you so distracted? I don't want to be wrong about it.”
“You, Neil. You are the distraction. You can play games if you want, but we both know that you are well aware of what you do to me.”
Neil wanted to pretend to be innocent, though all he could manage was a wide smile that had Audra looking away in mock disgust. She told him that he wasn’t very civilized and he had to agree with her. He certainly wasn’t feeling very civilized.
Chapter Twenty-One
Neil looked at Audra like he didn't understand what it was she was talking about. Audra had seen that look on his face before; it was not surprising or secret what he had done. She knew that he had touched her in just the right way to get the response he wanted. Neil knew how to push her buttons. It had not taken him long at all to conquer her body. Now he was working on her mind.
“So, I am the distraction? What is it you think about me that has you so distracted, Audra?”
“Why do you want me to say it out loud?”
“Because you are always so good and to hear something so naughty out of your mouth would be perfect.”
“I am not going to give you the satisfaction, Neil. Not if it is just because you want to hear it.”
“What if I told you that I needed to hear it?”
She told him that it would make no difference either way. Audra refused to talk dirty, and Neil was only a little disappointed. If she would have agreed too quickly, he might not have seen her as innocently as he did at the moment.
“What would you need to hear it for?”
“I haven’t seen you in a very long time. You knew that I was falling for you and then you just disappeared. Your brother has been worried sick. I finally told him that I knew where you were. He is going to want to see you soon, and you’re going to have to explain yourself to him as well.”
“I don’t know if I want to see Sam right now. It is easier if we keep our distance.”
“I don’t think that it’s going to be an option for you, Audra. You can’t just hide from him forever.”
If there was one thing that he didn't like about Audra, it was the fact that she was always so ready to run. He wanted her to stay and work things out, but instead, she took off. That was not a quality that he found very impressive. It made him a little crazy because he was always wondering when she was going to take off again.
“I know. I am going to see him soon, just not now.”
“Is that how you feel about us? You want to give it some time?”
“It was only a couple of nights, Neil. I don't think there even is an us.”
Those were the words that he had tired of the most. While he had thought about her almost nonstop for the last year, there was a small side of him that wondered if she even cared enough to think of him at all. Everything that he thought was going on between them was based on his own feelings. But what if they were far different than hers?
“Is that what you really think? That it was just a couple of nights, no big deal?”
She bit her lower lip and Neil watched her eyes looking up to his. She didn't hold his gaze very long, so he had no idea what she was thinking.
“I'm not saying that's what it was, Neil, but we haven't seen each other in a long time. We only knew each other very brief moment, and it makes me wonder why you are still holding on to it.”
“Here I am wondering why the hell you’re not.”
“I didn't mean to upset you. You're my new boss, and I really like this job. I need this job. It helps me blend into the city.”
Neil was upset that she even thought that about him. He would never do anything so underhanded or petty. Just because things didn't seem to be working out the way he wanted, that didn't mean that Neil would ever do anything about her job. If he were honest with himself, he didn't think Frank would let her go anyway. He seemed attached to her. Neil certainly knew the feeling.
“You don't have to worry about your job, Audra. Nothing is going to happen to it. You can work here as long as you want.”
She seemed relieved by his answer, and Neil wondered again if it was only coincidence that they were back together. He wanted to believe it was fate, but Audra was fighting it so hard, it was difficult to imagine that it could be what it was.
“Thank you, Neil. You don't know what that means to me.”
“Do you want to go out? Maybe we can get a drink or some dinner. Whatever you want to do, and wherever you want to go.”
“I would, but I need to get home after work.”
“I can bring a bottle with me, Audra.”
Neil was searching for a way to get them alone together. It felt like Audra was fighting it with every bit of her power. How was he ever going to get her to realize what she was missing if he could not get her alone? Neil knew the easiest way to get her back on his side was to use touch. She listened to that far better than words.
“Not tonight, Neil. Maybe sometime soon.”
He wanted more information but knew that he wasn't going to get it. She was very clear about the fact that she didn't want him coming over to her place. That was interesting and he wondered why. He knew that he was going to have to have another talk with his brother. Maybe Frank knew why Audra was acting so funny.
“Well, I will leave you to it then, Audra. Maybe someday soon we will be able to have a real conversation. I am starting to think that you're afraid to be alone with me.”
Audra refused to agree to it, but Neil knew better. That was exactly what she was doing. She knew what would happen when they were alone again for more than a few minutes in the back doing inventory. He just had to figure out the right way and the right place. Neil had waited this long; it didn't seem that farfetched to wait a little bit longer.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Audra was hoping that things between her and Neil would fizzle out. Frank was a different kind
of owner, one that was there every day, but that didn't mean that Neil had to be the same way. She was hoping that he would turn into one of those silent partners that only came in weekly to get some cash out of the till. The reality was far different.
Neil became even more adamant that they spend time together. He asked her out multiple times, but there was no way that she would stay away from Jamie any longer than she already was. A shift felt like an eternity, and the only thing Audra wanted to do by the end of it was get home to her baby.
Jamie was another issue altogether. There was still the question of who the father was, and Audra was not any closer to answering it. Audra was afraid of what the answer might be. What would she do when she found out that her husband was the father?
It was easier for her to leave it as a question. Then there was still a possibility of it going the other way. Audra needed that possibility in her life to keep going. If there was no hope, Audra wasn’t going to be able to count on anyone. She could feel it in her bones.
She should have known that Neil wasn't going to give up so easily, though. He was just that sort of guy. He wanted to push things, even though it was the last thing that Audra wanted. She needed some peace, and Neil refused to give it to her.
A couple of weeks after he showed up back into her life, Neil caught her when she was leaving.
“Where are you going?”
“I am going home.”
She still did not live far from the Dynasty Club and most days she just walked home. Some nights Frank would give her a ride but it was too close to even worry about it most of the time. She did not want Neil to follow her home.
“And you walk home?”
“Yeah, I don't live that far from here.”
“Then let me walk with you.”
Audra had seen it coming, because it was just a natural thing to ask next. He was pressuring her to go out with him the whole time he had been back, and this was no different. Now he was just being a bit bolder about it.
“I have a lot of things to do, Neil. Maybe another time.”
Neil did not want to take that for an answer. She could see it right away on his face, and she knew she was afraid that he was going to keep pushing until she had to give him something more. And it was obvious that unless she skipped out of town again and went somewhere else to start all over again, Audra was going to have to tell him about the baby. She just didn't know how to, or even where to start.
“Do you really want to come back with me? You might find some things that you don't want to know.”
“I think I could handle it, Audra. You seriously underestimate me.”
She didn't know what that meant, but instead of trying to work it out of her mind, she just agreed. If he was going to follow her home, then there wasn't much she could do about it. This was all about to happen. Whether it was coincidence or fate, the very moment that she got the job at the Dynasty Club was the moment that she had set herself up to see Neil again. She just hadn't realized it then.
He tried to hold her hand, but she moved hers away. Audra was certainly not ready for that. It was going to be very telling how he reacted when he found out about the baby. Would he think that it was his, or would he believe that it was Ben's? Either way, it was a mess. When they got to her place, she paused at the door and started to say something, but then the nanny was opening it, telling her the news about Jamie’s first tooth coming in.
“It just popped through, Lisa. You should see it.”
Audra smiled at Marla and went to pick up Jamie. She held the baby a little closer than she usually did because she knew that she was going to need some support when she looked back at Neil. Too much was going to be determined by the look in his eyes. Audra prolonged it as long as she could.
She needed to see what was going on in his mind, and she couldn’t have been more frustrated than she was at that moment. It looked like he was going to show no expression either way. That just made her a bit more maddened, and Audra was regretting her choices. She should have told him to let her go in peace.
He didn't say anything while Audra thanked Marla for staying with Jamie. She told her that she would see her the next day and closed the door that she had left opened. She was still holding Jamie when she turned around to face him finally.
“If I would have known that's all I had to do to shut you up, would have done this a long time ago.”
“So, that is a baby.”
“You are very perceptive, Neil.”
“Your baby?”
Audra nodded her head and then smiled at him. He was taking a bit longer than she would have imagined.
“Yes. I thought all of that was pretty much obvious.” It was obvious that he was doing math in his head and wanted to ask some obvious questions. Audra sort of helped him along.
“She is three months old now.”
His mind instantly started to do the math where she could actually see it.
“Is it mine?”
“Maybe.”
Audra winced inside because she never would have believed that she would find herself in this sort of situation. She wanted to tell Neil the truth. The truth was that she hoped beyond hope that it was his, but the chances were higher that Ben was the father. They had certainly been together far more often than she and Neil had. But he had to understand that, Audra reasoned to herself.
“Maybe? Are you serious?”
“Yes. I am serious.”
“When were you going to tell me?”
She did not have an answer for that. She wasn't sure if she ever thought about telling him. Of course, it would have come out eventually, but never had she imagined that it would be from her own lips.
“Someday.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Neil couldn't believe it. He felt like his head was going to explode. How could she keep something like this from him?
“I can't believe you kept this from me, Audra! What were you thinking?”
“I was thinking that I needed to get away so that I could be safe. Ben tracked me down to your house, so it wasn't safe anymore. We have already gone through this.”
“We may have gone through my questions in the beginning, but I still don't understand how you could keep something like this for me. You were never going to tell me, were you?”
“I would have eventually.”
Neil could tell by the way she said it that Audra did not believe that at all. Whatever her plans included, he had a feeling that he was not part of it. That was only one of many things that were bothering him at the moment.
“I want to hold her.”
Audra was surprised for a moment and then quickly agreed.
“I don't know if she is yours or not. You know that I was with my husband.”
“I would have wanted to know. You can't keep something like this from me.”
“I really am sorry, Neil. This has just been a lot for me to take. You know, my husband freaking out and what happened with me and you. I just had to run.”
“Are you going to do it again?”
That was what he was worried about the most. Neil hadn’t wanted to say it out loud, because he was afraid that it might actually make it happen.
Audra looked down at Jamie and said that she wasn't.
“I don't want to hurt anymore. I don't even know what is going to happen tomorrow, but I do know I'm tired of running. Jamie needs a stable life, and I am doing my best to give her that much.”
Neil looked down at the baby in his arms and he wanted to know if this was his or not. He wanted it to be, but he knew that wants did not always turn out the way he wanted them to. As much as he wanted things to work, they were going to happen their own way. He had wanted and waited every single night for her to come back to him, and she never did come.
“I want to find out.”
“I know. That could be arranged very easily.” He wanted the outcome and either way, he still wanted Audra back in his life.
“So, this is wh
y you have stayed away from me since I've been back?”
“One of many reasons.”
“Is that so?”
She agreed that it was. “It's not just that, but you have always scared me, Neil.”
“I thought I made you feel safe.”
“You do, but there are other feelings that come along with you.”
“Uh, are we back to the distraction?”
“Yes, if that's what you want to call it. You are very distracting.”
“Well, that is a good thing. I want to distract you.”
Jamie fell asleep in his arms, and he helped Audra put her to bed. He still had a lot of questions for her, but one thing, in particular, was what he was thinking about.
“Now that I know about Jamie, do you think we can move on to other pressing issues?”
Audra played coy and asked him what in the world he was talking about.
“Do you really not know?”
Neil was amazed that she didn't know what he was talking about. It was literally all he could think about since she had been away, and he wasn't even trying to pretend anymore. Neil needed her. Badly. “I was hoping that we could spend some time together.”
“Is that so?”
“Yeah.”
He started to move towards her, and she backed away. “I am not saying that it will never happen, but it can't happen like this. You can't come in here and wield your voodoo on me again. My brain won't be able to take it.”
“I have to have you.”
“As much as you think that is true, it's not. You will survive another day. Even I will. I promise you are not the only one that has missed what went on between the two of us. I have thought about it every single night before I went to bed.”
