Sitting down on the chair, I begin rummaging through drawers. I see a black box with a sticky note that says, ‘for emergencies only’, well, the way I see it, this is a damn emergency if I’ve ever seen one. Slowly unzipping it, my mind temporarily goes to what could jump out at me as I continue with the process of checking out the contents. Inhaling a deep breath into my lungs, “Please don’t be a bomb,” I beg this inanimate object. When it’s fully displayed to me, I let out a breath that I hadn’t realized I’d been holding up until now. Satellite phone to the rescue! As my fingers shakily begin to punch in numbers, I get angry at the homeowners. How could they hide this? People should be aware that there’s some aid around. Fucking ridiculous.
As soon as the numbers are punched in, I hit the button that will send my call through. “Ryder, talk to me,” he answers. I sob out a relieved breath as soon as I hear his voice.
“Ryder…” I finally manage to choke out.
“Kassi. The fuck are you? Malibu with you?” The relief coming from the other end can be felt through my entire being. There are only a certain few people who have that effect on me, and my big brother just happens to be one of them.
Everything comes out in one sentence as I tell him how we’ve been kidnapped and that Malibu is hurt. I tell him where we are, not knowing the address, I start to freak the fuck out. He soothes me and tells me that they're tracing my call and I just need to keep the line open until they get a location. “We know where you are, Kassi. Sit tight, we’re on our way.”
“Just hurry, Ryder. Malibu, he’s hurt pretty bad,” I cry. Knowing that he’s gonna make everything okay doesn’t settle my emotions.
“Soon, Kassi. We’ll be there soon, just take care of our boy… yeah? You got this, little sister.”
“I’ve got this,” I reassure him as I square my shoulders and dry the tears from my face. We hang up and I head back down the ladder to go sit with my Ol’ man.
22
Kassi
I can hear the roar of many motorcycles pulling up into the drive. Panic momentarily seizes me, what if it’s not my family coming? What if it’s the Bloodthirsty Bastards coming to torture me some more? Malibu is down, he won’t be of any help to me. Think, Kassi, what would he do if he was awake and alert? Slipping out from my criss-crossed position where Malibu’s head’s been resting, I run into the kitchen and grab the biggest, sharpest knife I can find. Instead of sitting back down on my perched position on the floor, I take a stance over my man’s sleeping body. I crouch down, ready to spring forward and take the first fucker out who enters that door. No one is going to hurt him, hurt me, ever the fuck again.
The door flies open and I rush the person coming inside without any further thought. A war cry escapes me as I lunge, the knife comes down in a downward arc. Arms fly up and grab my wrist, stopping my forward motion. “Kassi! Dammit, it’s me.” My wild eyes land on my brother's frame and I sag into his arms.
“You came,” I say as I break down into his chest.
“I’ll always come when you call for me.” I don’t remove my head from his chest as I hear the room fill with the others. It’s as if an echo is playing out in my ears, before my body gives out and I pass out in my brother’s arms. I’m not scared as this happens because I know he’ll protect me and Malibu with his life if it’s needed.
* * *
When my eyes wake up and my mind becomes alert, I jump up from the soft mattress. “Malibu?”
“I’m here, baby,” he says from the corner of the room where he’s sitting in his recliner. I take him in and notice the bandage around his head and the bag of ice that he’s released from his hand. Without further thought, I rush over and plop down into his lap. He tucks my head into the crease of his neck as his fingers begin to comb through my tangled locks.
“You’re okay.” I heavily breathe out. “Let’s not ever do that again.”
“You got it, Kassi,” he promises me. “How are you? I was worried, you were out for a long assed time.”
“I’m not hurt, my mind just needed a little rest is all. What about you? He clocked you over the head pretty good.” I look up and tears begin to water my eyes at the thought that I could’ve lost him.
“I’ve got a headache and a lump from hell, but I’ll survive. It’ll take a lot more than that for you to get rid of me,” he jokes, and soon we’re both chuckling, I’m not sure if it’s out of relief, or if we’ve both lost our marbles. Either way, it doesn’t matter to me, as long as we’re both here, healthy and alive. “Things are fixin’ to get dicey for me, Kassi. I need to tell the brothers why we ended up in the position we were in.”
“No,” I quickly say as I sit up in his lap. He has to hear me, and not fight me or Creed on his demands. “They can never know, Malibu. That’s one of the things Creed made crystal clear before he left.”
“I can’t continue livin’ with the lies, Kass. I’ve got to fess up and tell them everythin’ I did.”
“No, Malibu, listen to me. Pay attention,” I state, grabbing his chin and forcing his eyes to meet mine. “I don’t like not telling them everything either, but it’s something we have to do. As far as everyone is concerned, this was all the doing of the Bloodthirsty Bastards.” As he goes to argue with me, I hold my hand up, stopping him before he begins. “Stop, Malibu, just stop. This small white lie keeps everyone happy, no questions asked, and things hidden that need to be kept between us, our secret. We’re not only protecting us with this tale, but we’re protecting those we love along the way. The focus will be on retaliation and taking down those fuckers who hurt me, and we keep our family. If it came down to it and I was forced to pick sides… I’d pick yours every single time. Don’t force me to do that. Please.”
Malibu
As I’d sat here and watched her sleep, I’d decided to come clean with my brothers and accept my punishment. It doesn’t sit easy in me, the decisions I’ve made and I need to pay for those crimes against my woman and the brotherhood. I can’t live with all of these secrets and lies. I’ve always prided myself in being a good man, a loyal man, one that no one would ever question whose side I’m on. I respect the fuck out of my brothers and would like to earn that back from them. I know that if they choose to not strip me of my patch, I’ll spend each and every day proving myself to them. To her. To my damn self.
Can I really follow through with what she’s asking me to do? I don’t want to ever have to say no to her, but this is one time I may have to. I understand where she’s coming from, I really do. But what kind of man, what kind of brother, does that make me at the end of the day? Can I look them in the eyes every day and live with this deception? Fuck, she’s asking a lot of me, but I can see the fear in her eyes and am not sure that I can hurt her any more than what I’ve already done.
“Kassi.” I blow out a rush of air, not sure what to say.
“We have to do this, Malibu. For me, do it for me if you can’t do it for yourself. You owe me this, Malibu.” Her words are like a slap to my damned face. I do owe her everything and nothing less than.
Coming to a decision I’m not thrilled to make, I finally nod my head, “Okay, Kassi. For you, I’ll do it. But let the record show I’m not happy about it.”
“I know you aren’t, baby, but it’s necessary.” I made a promise to myself as that Glock was pointed at the back of my skull, that if we made it out of there, and she gave me another chance, she’d never feel scared again. And right now, she’s petrified that I’ll go against her wishes and wants.
“Come here,” I say as I pull her head down. “For you, I’ll do this. I’m not happy about it, but I understand where you’re coming from. We do need to talk about what I did though.”
“Not here, Malibu. When we go home, we’ll hash it all out and then put it behind us. We’ll never bring it up again, deal?”
“As long as you promise to talk to me about it, I’ll promise you anythin’, Kass.”
* * *
We’re in a meeting, and t
he lies spewing from my mouth leave my tongue heavy and my stomach turning. This is the last time I’ll lie to my brothers I vow. And I’m not doing it to save my hide, I’m doing it for her and to ensure our future with the club and each other.
“Did the man that took y’all say that he was workin’ for the Bastards?” Kid asks me, drilling me as if I’m on trial… which in a way, I am.
“Yes,” I answer, unable to look my president in the eyes.
“Malibu, this isn’t your fault. You shouldn’t feel shame for what happened to you and Kassi,” Travler states, having my back as always.
“I know, man. It’s hard to explain,” I comment. It’s on the tip of my tongue to blurt out all of my misdeeds, but Kassi’s words come slamming back into me as quickly as those thoughts enter. Fuck, what a damn position to be in… choosing between your woman and the brothers.
It’s all a circle of lies and deception.
A circle that I started, and unfortunately won’t be ending any time soon. Do I feel sorry that the Bloodthirsty fuckers are gonna pay for my bad decisions… no, because at the end of the day, they were the ones who started this entire scenario. It should give me a sense of peace, but all I think about is my role in this thing. I was the one who made her relive her nightmare, they’re the ones who gave her those demons that come visit her at night. My thoughts are scattered all over the place, that’s the problem with lying, it starts with one, then you have to tell another one to cover that first one. Eventually, one will trip you up and you’ll give yourself away. That’s why I’m keeping things as simple as I possibly can.
I keep to the basics of the truth when it comes to Creed, other than giving out his name. Basically, my lie to them consists of him covering his own ass, letting them know that he felt guilty… since he did state that, and he had no idea that he was a pawn in someone else's game. He took us this second time to reassure us that he won’t be bothering us again… another damn lie, but I believe that we’ll never see him again as long as we keep to his specified parameters.
The meeting wraps up after another hour of going through everything. I inform them that I’m taking Kassi home, Ryder protests, but I argue back that she needs the comfort of her things. Once we’re all done arguing about that shit, I walk out the door and go find my woman.
It’s time to go home and face the music. I plan on showing her every one of the notes I received and tell her verbatim what was said to me on the phone.
I know she says she forgives me, but this will be the test that settles that in my mind.
23
Malibu
We drudgingly walk into our home. I make her stay in the entrance of our front doorway as I go into each room and clear it. I don’t trust that fucker Creed or those Bastards one iota. They are not men of honor; they’d have no such gumption about attacking us in our home. When I make it into our bedroom, I walk over to my dresser, move my clothes aside and grab the stack of letters.
This is going to be one of the hardest conversations of my life.
In my heart, it feels as if this is make it, or break it, time.
Not wanting to leave her alone for too long, I pick my nuts up off the ground and head back into the living room. “Everythin’s clear, Kassi. Come in here and join me,” I state, pointing at the couch next to where I sit. As soon as she shuts and locks the front door, she comes over and lands next to me. Without saying anything, I hand her the pack of letters.
She hesitantly reaches out and grabs the stack from my outstretched hand. “I love you, Malibu. Nothing I read here is going to change that fact. I might get angry, demand answers, but we’ll get through this… together.”
I sit back into the couch and watch as she opens the first letter.
Fuck my life.
Kassi
I find my hands shaking once again; seems to be a pattern that I’ve been having more often than not lately. Pulling the first letter out, I open it up and begin reading.
Malibu,
Don’t you find it odd that your woman remembers certain things, yet not others. She knows it all, she continues to keep the secrets of why. Ask yourself how come she’d do that?
-Inquiring Mind.
Malibu,
I know everything. She’s lying to you. Wake up, stop letting her call the shots. Force her to tell you what part she played.
-Inquiring Mind.
Malibu,
Here’s a question for you. Did she help set the entire thing up? Kind of convenient that she proclaims to have memory loss… don’t ya think?
-Inquiring Mind.
After the third letter, I’m not sure if I want to continue. I was being set up… the question is why? Will we ever know the answer to that? Somehow, I’m thinking it’s something we’ll never acquire the answers to. “I don’t wanna read anymore, Malibu. I would’ve started questioning me too.”
“They get worse from there, Kassi,” he says to me. “I was already so lost in grief and uncontained anger, that I didn’t stop to ask, why would you have? If I had, I’d have known that there’s no way in fuck you’d be involved in anything so malicious. You loved her as much as I did.”
“I did,” I admit, even though I question even that. She was my best friend, but I wonder if I agreed to that triad relationship so I could be with Malibu. Fern and I, we’d started drifting apart there at the end. I knew she was hiding something from me, but I never pushed—looking back, I should have. I should have made her talk and confide in me. I would have gone immediately to Malibu or my brother. Either one of them would have fixed it before it got out of hand.
“Can we really put this behind us and move on? Kassi, I gotta tell ya, if I was in your shoes, I don’t know if I could forgive me.”
“You would, Malibu. Because you love me as much as I do you. Do I think you handled this the way you should have? No, I don’t, but then; I think about your emotional state during the time these letters started coming, and I probably would’ve acted without thinking as well. We’re not the same people today as we were then. We’ve learned a lot of lessons, ones I wouldn’t put on my worst enemy, but we came out on top. Didn’t we, baby?”
“Yeah, babe. We did. I love you,” he says.
“Love ya back, why don’t you show me just how much?” I know there’s a twinkle in my eye because a smile forms on his face, his dimples are protruding showing his happiness. He scoops me up from the couch and takes me into the bedroom. We only leave our room for the next two days when we need to fuel our bodies and relieve our bladders.
He shows me oh so good how much he loves me.
People may not agree with me forgiving him for his transgressions, but when you love someone with every beat of your heart, you’re willing to walk through fire and save them.
Epilogue
Ryder
There’s something off about my brother and baby sister. They’re holding something back. I’m not sure if I want to dig into it, or leave it be and let them work it out. The big brother in me wants to fix everything for them, but the man in me understands that Malibu needs to do this on his own.
“What’s got you up thinking so hard this late at night?” Sky asks me on a yawn.
“Worried about Kassi and Malibu,” I tell her, since I tell her everything I can. I’ve loved and trusted this woman since I was fifteen years old. I’ve known her all of my life, but we were both afraid to take things to another level… if things didn’t work out, we’d ruin a lifetime of friendship. We were both with other people, and I regret not saving myself for her. But you can’t go back and change the past, you can only move on and not look back.
“You’re a good big brother, Ryder. But you have to let go some and let them live their lives.” My woman is wise, but she and Kid have a completely different relationship than what I have with my sisters. They grew up with one another, I grew up knowing I had sisters, but never having an important part in their lives. A guilt that I felt each and every day. I always wanted them around, but
our dad felt it was for their safety to stay away at school.
“Something’s off about the two of ‘em, I just can’t place my finger on what that is,” I admit. She shifts in the bed and places her hand on my chest. “After everythin’ the two of them have been through, I can’t help but worry.”
“Ryder, baby. You have to trust that if it’s something they can’t handle, they’ll come to you for help. You guys have enough on your plates, those Bloodthirsty fuckers need to be taken care of, I don’t think their threat to our family is over. And y’all need to do it safely.”
“We’re always safe,” I say to her, because we know what we have at home and ain’t one of us willing to sacrifice our women and children.
Skylar
I too have felt that something’s off with my sister and her Ol’ man, but I just let her know that I’m here if she ever needs me for anything. That’s all I can do; I refuse to interfere with their relationship.
Forever Yours: Rage Ryders Templeton Chapter Book 2 Page 15
