by Barbara Goss
Jared ate the last of his sandwich and pushed the plate away. “So, I should just go up to her and say, ‘I love you?’”
Ross grimaced. “Maybe after a kiss or something would be a better time, Jared.”
Ross brought a large two-seater buggy back to Russell to collect Jared and Joanna. Jared carried Joanna out to the buggy and laid her on the back seat. He then took a seat in the front beside Ross.
It was a long ride back to Hays which included a one-night hotel stay. Jared tucked Joanna into bed in one room, while he and Ross shared the other. In the morning, they were back on the trail to Hays. They arrived shortly before noon, and Jared carried her in and laid her on the bed in her room.
“Is there anything I can get you before I leave?” Jared asked.
Joanna wished Jared wasn't so impersonal. He was caring, and he looked after her every need, but she felt it was more out of guilt than anything. Did he love her or didn’t he? He’d never said the words, but then again, neither had she. Had he suggested they get married as a solution to their problem with McKenna and the rumors, or had he really wanted to marry her? Strangely, he hadn’t mentioned it or anything at all personal since the shooting.
“Do you have to leave so soon?”
“I’ve been away from my traps. I’ll come back tomorrow and every day after that to see how you’re doing.”
Sympathy and guilt—she could see it in his eyes.
“I’m fine. It really isn’t necessary to visit every day. I know you have things to do.” She looked up at him, hoping he’d argue with her about it.
“I don’t mind. If I get my work done, I’m more than happy to check in on you. I’ll also have Doc Mercer stop by and take over where Doc Harris left off. I want to be sure your wound is healing properly.”
“Thank you, Jared.”
Jared leaned over her, kissed her forehead, and turned to leave the room. She heard him talking to Amelia and Ross somewhere outside of her room before she heard him leave.
Joanna didn’t know quite how to bridge the gap that had grown between them. Before McKenna had snatched her, they were about to marry, and now it felt like they were starting all over again as friends.
One thing she knew for sure: she didn’t want him to marry her out of sympathy or guilt. She’d have to show him neither was necessary, but how?
Amelia came in with a lunch tray. “I received a message from Doc Mercer. He’ll be around later today to check on you. Jared must've stopped to see him.”
“I could've walked to the dining room to eat with you and Ross,” Joanna said.
“I wasn’t sure. We’ll do that for dinner. Ross’s father is coming. He wants to see how you are. He’s been extremely concerned.” Amelia fixed the tray on Joanna’s lap, unfolded a napkin, and put it under her chin.
“Goodness, Amelia—are you going to feed me, too?”
Amelia stepped back in surprise. “Oh, silly me. I’m just not sure what you're able to do. You were shot. Heavens! I can’t even imagine.”
“My rib's broken, and I had a bit of surgery around it. I’m very sore but otherwise fine. If you help me to the dining room at dinner time I’ll be happier.” Joanna was afraid that perhaps she’d offended Amelia in her efforts to care for her. “Maybe you could help me dress for dinner. Mrs. Harris helped me yesterday, and this morning Jared sent a maid in to dress me. I still can’t raise my left arm without pain.”
“I’d be delighted to help in any way I can.” Amelia turned to leave. “I’ll let you eat in peace.”
“Don’t go,” Joanna said quickly. “I appreciate your help, really. Unless I’m keeping you from something, I’d love your company while I eat.”
Amelia sat down on a chair by the bed. “Of course.”
Joanna wasn’t especially hungry, so she toyed with her food, eating a bit of this and that. “I feel as though Jared and I are back where we started.”
“What do you mean?”
Joanna sipped the lemonade on her tray. “He’s…oh, I don’t know, coddling but distant. He waits on me hand and foot but doesn’t…I’m not sure how to explain. He’s there, but he isn’t.”
“I’m not sure I follow you, Joanna.”
“The last time I saw him before the kidnapping he was on his way to get a marriage license, but he hasn't mentioned marriage or the license since. He hasn’t mentioned anything personal at all.”
“He’s probably just waiting for you to heal.”
“Maybe, but I think he’s regretting his decision to marry. I also think he's filled with guilt and sympathy for me. I can see it in his eyes. He feels like he owes me. He isn’t caring for me because he loves me but because he feels this is all his fault.”
“I think I understand. Not that I agree, of course. I think he cares deeply for you.”
“I hope you’re right. Do you think I’m imagining his feelings?”
“Perhaps.” Amelia tapped her cheek. “There’s one way to find out.”
“What’s that?”
“Never mind. Let me handle it.” Amelia stood. “I’ll take the tray. You just relax, and I’ll show the doctor in when he arrives.”
Chapter Seventeen
Amelia had several ideas when she left Joanna’s room. It seemed to her that Joanna and Jared needed a bit of help, and she headed for the sitting room to consult with Ross, whom she found reading in his easy chair.
“Ross," she said, "Joanna and Jared need our help.”
He looked up. “What now?”
“Joanna loves him, but he’s been a bit distant since the shooting.”
“Are you kidding me? He’s been waiting on her hand and foot.”
“That’s not the kind of caring she needs. She loves him, and she thinks he wants to back out of marrying her. He hasn’t mentioned marriage or anything personal at all. She’s worried, and so am I.”
Ross put his book aside. “What can we do?”
“I don’t know…something. Do you know if Jared feels the same about Joanna?”
“He cares for her…I think. He said something about not having anything to offer a wife—you know, like a home or an occupation. He also feels that she’d be better off without him since everything that’s happened to her has been his fault.”
“Like what?” Amelia asked.
“Her stepping in his trap, his mentioning their marriage plans in front of Rebecca, and the shooting. I think he’d rather it had been him that was shot instead of her. He’s filled with guilt about it.”
Amelia tapped her cheek. “I don’t know how to dispel Jared’s guilty feelings, but I do know they both love each other. They were meant to be together.”
Ross stood and looked out the front window. “The doctor’s here.”
“I’ll let him in,” Amelia said, “but we need to think of a way to get Joanna and Jared together.”
“I think I have an idea,” Ross said, “but the time has to be just right.”
Jared tried to visit Joanna daily. So far, he’d only missed one day since she’d returned home—the day he'd visited Herman Berger. Berger had taken him on a complete tour of the ranch. Jared had wanted the property because it was ideal for him and Joanna. The property had nature all around it, and the house was in perfect shape. The two-story home sat at the back of the property with a forest on three sides, and it was only two miles from town. The stables were set off to the right, with a barn to the left of the home. Berger kept the place immaculate. The only problem with the deal was that Berger wanted more than Jared could offer.
Though he was disappointed, he didn’t cancel his plans. He decided to work harder, gather and cure more pelts than ever before, and sell as many as he could to make up the difference between the money he had and the money Berger wanted. It also meant spending less time with Joanna. She was walking now and getting back to normal, so he supposed he could ease up a bit on his visits to raise the money to buy the place before proposing to her properly. Berger had promised to hold the property
for Jared for six weeks.
Joanna was sitting beneath a huge willow tree sewing when Jared approached on foot. She waved when she saw him and greeted him warmly. He felt just as glad to see her; he’d missed her.
“You’re looking well, Joanna.”
“I feel almost normal except for a bit of rib pain now and then.”
“I’m glad. I’m sorry I haven’t visited in a while. I’ve been busy. My traps are as full every day as they usually are in mid-summer.”
“I understand. It wouldn’t do to leave animals in the traps too long. How’s Bear?”
Jared held his hand to his knee. “He’s this high now. I’d bring him along, but he’s too big to ride with me and too small to run alongside my horse.”
Joanna smiled. “I’d love to see him.”
“I’ll borrow Ross’s wagon one day and bring him to see you.”
“I’d love that.”
“You’re back to sewing clothes for the church?”
“Yes.” Joanna held up a flannel nightshirt.
The memory of the kisses they’d shared still caused his pulse to speed up, but he couldn't make her any promises until he could secure the ranch. “You really have a knack for sewing." He paused, fingering his hat. “Joanna…” He wasn't sure what he'd say, but he needed to say something to let her know he still cared about her.
“Joanna, I…I’d like to take you for a buggy ride as soon as your rib has healed a bit more—the ride could get bumpy. I’m sure Ross would lend us his best carriage. Maybe we could go down by the river.” His heart beat a bit faster when she smiled at his suggestion.
“I’d love that. We could pack a lunch and make a picnic out of it.”
“We could. Yes, I’d like that. We have some catching up to do,” he said. He dared not say more. What if he didn’t get the land?
“I’ll look forward to it,” she said.
Her cheeks blushed when she said that, and Jared’s heart thumped hard in his chest once more—he had to get that land.
Amelia stopped the buggy in front of Bradley McKenna's house. “Are you sure you want to do this, Joanna?”
“I don't trust either of them, but I feel safe as long as you’re here.” She swung down from the buggy. “Just stay here, and if I don’t come out in ten minutes, come in after me.”
Joanna walked up to the front door, took a deep breath, and knocked. The door swung open and the woman who’d once held her hand to Joanna's mouth, thrown her into the root cellar, and driven her into the wilderness and left her, stood in the doorway with her mouth agape.
“What do you want?”
“A woman to woman chat.”
“Go away.” Rebecca started to close the door, but Joanna stuck her boot in the jamb. “You’ll listen to what I have to say, or I’ll take my chat to the sheriff. We can do it here in the doorway or inside—it’s your decision.”
Rebecca stared at her for several moments before holding the door open wide and gesturing for her to come in. She led Joanna into the sitting room and pointed to a sofa. Joanna sat, and Rebecca took a seat at the far end of the sofa.
“So…talk,” Rebecca said.
“You and Bradley kidnapped me. Then you dumped me out in the wilderness.”
“Not far enough, it seems.”
“I could easily have you both arrested, so hear me out.”
“Go on.”
“I want you to go into town and clear Jared’s name. If you do that, I won’t turn you in.”
“I can’t do that. I’d look like a fool.”
“It’s your choice. Bearing false witness is a terrible thing to do to someone—especially someone with a character as fine as Jared’s.”
Rebecca’s face turned red, and she pounded her fist on the arm of the settee. “He led me on and then dumped me like a piece of stale bread.” Rebecca’s face turned red. She continued to pound her fist on the chair. “You call that good character?”
Joanna stood. “It’s your call, but if you don’t retract your accusations about him by Friday, I’m going to turn you in.”
Rebecca walked into the general store and made her way to where several women were standing, gossiping. “Good morning, ladies.”
“Why, Rebecca, how nice to see you,” one woman said.
“We wondered if you'd had the child yet,” another woman asked.
“Where have you been?” a third one asked.
“I have a confession to make,” Rebecca said. “I wasn’t in a family way after all. It seems I fell down the stairs at the boarding house and I became a bit addled afterward. I don’t even remember making the accusations against him, but my husband assures me I did. I feel just horrible about accusing Jared of such a horrible deed. My husband can assure you I was pure on our wedding night. That’s when he questioned why I'd accused Jared of…well, you know. So, I thought I should let you all know that nothing ever happened between Jared and me except for one goodnight kiss after the opera house.”
“Oh, dear!” one woman said. “It’s perfectly understandable after such a fall. Are you all right now?”
“Yes. I left town to receive treatment from a doctor in Kansas City. I’m fine now, and I’m sorry for misleading you all.” Rebecca turned and left the store.
“Oh, my,” Mrs. Jones said. “We owe Jared Steele an apology.”
“No, we don’t,” Mrs. Hemphill said. “We aren’t the ones who accused him. If anyone needs to apologize it’s Rebecca McKenna.”
“Well, I for one always knew he was innocent,” Mrs. Wilson said.
Amelia and Joanna stood behind the fabrics and smiled.
Joanna awoke feeling blue. Even though Jared’s name had been cleared, she still hadn’t seen him in two weeks. She knew it meant he didn’t want to marry her, and he didn’t know how to get out of it. He must think she’d just forget that they’d agreed to marry and that he’d even gotten a license. Of course, he'd only suggested the marriage to protect her from McKenna. Since she no longer needed protection, she supposed he'd just dismissed the subject, but she hadn’t. She missed him. Every day she had the urge to ride out to his cabin, but he’d told her not to, so she didn’t. She could do nothing except wait for him to claim his picnic by the river.
The doctor had given her a clean bill of health, and she was now able to move easily around. Even her foot had stopped hurting, and Amelia had said she was no longer limping.
She slipped out of the bed and threw on a cotton dress, planning to spend the day sewing. A soft knock on her bedroom door caused her to spin around.
“Good morning, Amelia.”
“Good morning. I have good news: Jared’s coming to dinner on Sunday.”
“Wonderful. How did that come about? Was he here?”
“No, Ross rode out to his cabin yesterday. He was concerned since no one has seen him in weeks. He said Jared had a whole barrelful of hides and that he was leaving this morning for Russell to sell them.”
“Didn’t Ross tell him he could sell them in Hays now?”
Amelia shrugged. “He told him, but he said he had some other business in Russell anyway. Ross said Jared could hardly believe that Rebecca had cleared his name. He agreed to attend church with us, too.”
“He promised me a picnic by the river.”
“I’ve never known Jared to break a promise,” Amelia said with a wink.
Chapter Eighteen
Jared sold his pelts, and stopped at the livery to collect something from the doctor's house that he’d ordered while Joanna was recuperating from her gunshot wound and headed for Hays. He planned to attend church for the first time in months, thanks to Joanna. He could hardly believe she’d cleared his name without even hinting her plans. He looked forward to the dinner with Amelia and Ross and seeing Joanna again. There was just one more thing he had to do before proposing, and that was to ride out to see Herman Berger to pay him the money for the house and property.
After pulling out his pocket watch, he realized that buying th
e house would have to wait until Monday. He wouldn't get back to Hays until almost midnight, and he had church in the morning, to which he was looking forward. Should he stop in the morning and go to church with Amelia, Ross, and Joanna? That wouldn’t do—everyone would make assumptions about him and Joanna, and he didn’t want that yet. He decided it would be better for everyone involved if he went with his father.
Jared walked proudly into the church alongside his father. Several people greeted him, including a few of the busybodies and their husbands. He and his father sat in a front pew, and Jared knew that his father was glad to have him at his side. He didn’t see Joanna, but he knew she was somewhere behind him, sitting with Ross and Amelia. He could hardly wait to see her. It had been a long two and a half weeks, and he missed her.
Ross called his name as he and his father walked to their buggy. He turned, and his eyes flew right past Ross and Amelia to Joanna. She smiled, and his heart twitched in his chest. Joanna was wearing a light-orchid dress with a feathered hat. She looked beautiful, and he hoped his eyes told her so, because he didn’t feel right telling her in front of everyone.
“Just follow us to my house,” Ross said. “Dinner will be ready when we get there.”
Jared nodded, gave Joanna another smile, and got into the buggy with his father.
After a delicious chicken dinner—and rice pudding for dessert, of course—Jared pushed from the table. It was time to make an excuse to get Joanna alone so they could talk. Ross, however, had something else in mind.
“Jared, shouldn’t we show Joanna what you bought for her?”
Jared nodded. He supposed they would see the gift and then he’d take the walk with Joanna.
“In fact,” Ross continued, “why don’t we all go out to the barn and see the gift.”
