Fuck yeah, that cut even deeper. The truth hurt, though, right? I knew that more than most. I stared into her eyes while I could, soaking them up like a dehydrated fucking houseplant getting a drop of water.
She didn’t move and neither did I, and the longer I looked into those gorgeous eyes, the deeper I sank into them. My breathing grew faster, and I—shit—I wanted to get closer. My gaze dipped and landed on her full pouty mouth, dark pink lips looking even darker from her biting them.
And fuck me, I realized in that moment I wanted a taste.
I wanted a taste of my best friend so bad, holding back felt like I was spread on a rack having my insides removed one organ at a time with a rusty fucking spoon.
She licked her lower lip and I jolted, my whole body getting in on the act as if I’d been nailed by a live wire.
I cleared my throat. Her face was flushed, and she was still looking up at me, eyes kind of bright and unfocused.
“I’ll give you your time, Eves,” I said, voice broken and husky. “You take your time to think about what you need from me, what it’ll take to get you back in my life, and let me know.” I tucked her hair behind her ear, because I had to touch her. I’d missed touching her. “I’ll be waiting. I won’t ever stop.”
She ducked her head and a moment later she was in her car.
I stood back, watching her drive away, doing my best to ignore the confused feelings battering me from the inside out. Once we were back to the way we were, I wouldn’t be confused anymore. It was just…she looked different, and I was so protective of her and…
“Brother, you are so fucked,” Riff called out.
I looked at him standing in one of the open windows of my apartment upstairs, smirking down at me. “Don’t trip and fall, asshole,” I called back.
He threw his head back and laughed, and I looked in the direction Everly had driven, knowing deep down that Grifter was right.
I was completely and utterly fucked.
Chapter Four
Everly
Ariel trotted around me on the end of a long lead, throwing her head around, kicking up dust, letting me know she wasn’t happy that I’d brought her in from her field. She was young still, one of the first foals from Cassy’s mare Tierra when she began her breeding program, and I thought she was magnificent.
She was also headstrong.
“All right, girl. It’s all right.” She finally calmed down, and I approached her and patted her nose, letting her know she’d done a good job, even if reluctantly.
After I released her back into the field closest to the barn, I headed back to my room to shower. My muscles ached in a way I liked after a hard day working and riding, and on a hot day like this, I was looking forward to a long cool shower.
“Hey, Eves!”
I glanced up, shielding my eyes from the late afternoon sun as Cassy headed toward me looking stressed, with Jack in her arms.
“What’s up?”
Cassy bit her lip, brows scrunching. “Our Springhaven ranchers’ committee meeting was switched to tonight, and I completely forgot. It’s an important one, and I really don’t want to miss it, but it’s going to run late, and trying to look after Jack while I’m there will be difficult, and I wondered…” She winced. “If you’re not doing anything tonight—”
“Of course I’ll look after Jack.”
I hated that she felt bad asking. I owed her so much, more than she would ever know, even though I’d tried to explain that to her more than once. But words didn’t seem to cut it. “You know I love that kid.”
“Are you sure you don’t have any plans?” Cassy said, still worried she was inconveniencing me. “A date maybe?”
“Nope. Nothing.” I wasn’t in a hurry to repeat my last dating disaster. I’d have a scar on my forehead to remind me what a dork I was for the foreseeable future.
My experience with guys before that was extremely limited, between my aunt, her rules, and her disapproval of every guy who’d ever asked me out, except that one time, and that had almost ended in Dane going to prison. Add in Dane scaring away any guy that came near me before that, and I’d not really had many opportunities to meet guys, and it showed.
I wasn’t completely innocent, of course. I’d been with a guy, I just didn’t know how to be with a guy in a normal dating situation and not be ridiculous. A lot of that boiled down to my extreme nerves over my lack of experience in all aspects of romantic relationships. Most almost-twenty-two-year-olds had already had a handful of lovers. I’d had one, and the idea of fumbling through number two gave me hives.
And I was so ready for number two.
Maybe I was overthinking it, but I didn’t think so. Evidence was stacking up—case in point: trying to kiss a guy and almost knocking myself out on his beer bottle.
Cassy bounced Jack on her hip. “Um…the only problem is I have to leave in, like, ten minutes, and Cal’s still working and won’t be done until late, and Jack hasn’t had his dinner yet.”
“No worries. I’ll grab a shower at the house once he’s fed and asleep.”
Cassy visibly relaxed. “Thank you! I owe you, Eves, big-time.” She handed Jack to me. “I’ll try not to be too late, but you know how these meetings can drag on.”
“Go. Be as late as you need to be. We’re fine.”
Cassy kissed Jack on the cheek, thanked me again, and ran back the way she came.
“Looks like it’s just you and me, cutie,” I said to Jack, tickling his ribs and making him giggle. “Let’s go find you some grub.”
Three hours later, Jack was bathed, fed, and in bed, and I was in the shower.
He was definitely out for the night. The little guy had been falling asleep while I was putting him in his pj’s.
Cal had called to apologize earlier. He had a client at Rocktown Ink and wouldn’t be finished until at least midnight, and knowing how Cassy’s meetings usually went, she’d be a few hours away as well.
Which meant I had the house to myself, and as much as I liked my room off the barn, sometimes it was nice to curl up on a soft couch in their gorgeous living room with the big-screen TV and watch movies without having to squint at my laptop screen.
I climbed out of the shower, dried off, and wrapped a towel around me. I hadn’t brought any of my clothes up to the house earlier, and the idea of putting on my smelly, dusty work clothes was not appealing in the slightest. But I’d stayed in the main house for a few weeks when I first moved here, and I was pretty sure I had some things still there.
I scooped my dirty clothes off the floor and the baby monitor from the bathroom counter, carried them downstairs to the kitchen, and threw my stuff in a trash bag to take out with me later.
Might as well get the popcorn going before I trekked all the way back upstairs to find clothes.
After tightening the knot on my towel, I got a bag of microwave popcorn going and leaned on the breakfast bar, flicking through Horse and Corral magazine.
I barely saw the words, though. The one thing I’d been trying not to think about, the one person I’d been trying to push from my mind until I was emotionally ready to deal with him, kept coming to the fore.
I hadn’t recovered from my “talk” with Dane three days ago—far from it. The things that were said and that goodbye outside Rocktown Ink had shaken me to my core.
Because I realized two things, and they were huge.
First, we would never get back what we had, what we were. Never. That time was gone.
That was the past. I didn’t know what we were now, but it looked different, so very different.
And second, I wanted Dane in my life. I couldn’t imagine one without him in it. Yes, he’d hurt me when he vanished, but I loved him too much to do the same. What we felt for each other was far more complicated than just friendship. It always had been. And if I wanted my best friend back in my life, I had to figure out what that would look like going forward. We had to be on a more even footing, though. I knew that much. No more pr
otector to my damsel.
I couldn’t let him run right over me anymore—
“What the fuck?”
I shrieked and spun around.
Dane stood in the kitchen doorway behind me, gaze zigzagging over me from head to toe and back again.
“What are you doing here?” I fired at him.
His cheeks were slashed with color and his chest was rising and falling fast, and those golden-brown eyes were still moving over my damp-towel-covered body in a way that was almost…I had no idea what it was.
The room was full of the smell of buttery popcorn, but I still jumped when the microwave beeped.
“Dane?” I said when he said nothing.
His eyes shot up to mine, and he flinched.
“What are you doing here?” I tried again.
His big body was frozen in place and his throat worked, Adam’s apple sliding up and down his inked throat before he finally spoke. “I’m here to see Cal and Cassy.” His brows lowered. “Why the fuck are you naked in their kitchen?”
That husky note to his voice sent a little shiver through me. I ignored it and scowled. Naked? I was fully covered by a towel, for God’s sake.
“I’m making popcorn, obviously,” I said, my hackles rising, and walked across the kitchen to the microwave. I reached up to grab a bowl, and when my towel inched higher, I heard Dane growl behind me.
Really?
I inwardly bristled. Yes, getting us on even ground had to be priority one if we were going to be friends again.
I dumped my snack into the bowl, and Dane appeared at my side.
“What the fuck?” he repeated.
I had to bite back a grin when I looked up at him. He was frazzled, and I found I was enjoying it way too much. He always had the upper hand. It was nice to be the one in control for a change. “Hmm?”
“Why the fuck are you like…that? What’s going on?” He stared down at me kind of wild. “Where’s Cal and Cassy?”
“Not here.”
“Do you have someone else here with you?” His gaze searched the kitchen like the Invisible Man was going to suddenly appear.
Really. Really?
Okay, I wasn’t enjoying this anymore. Now I was back to annoyed. So instead of explaining right away, I offered up a sheepish expression. “He’s upstairs, asleep in bed.”
Yeah, it was mean, but nothing Dane didn’t deserve after what he’d done.
His eyes hardened and his jaw tightened to what looked like painful proportions, then his gaze went to the ceiling like he could see through it to the room above. “What the fuck?” he said with more force and a lot more growl.
His phrase of the day apparently.
“I think I wore him out,” I added, because apparently I was a lot more sadistic than I realized.
Dane stormed out of the kitchen and through the living room. I grabbed my bowl of popcorn and followed him upstairs, watching as he started throwing doors open.
“Where is he?” he said.
I leaned against the wall, crossing one foot over the other. “What do you mean?” I put some popcorn in my mouth and chewed. “Jack’s where he always is.”
Dane was in the process of opening another door and stopped suddenly, turning to me slowly, his shoulders somehow looking twice the size.
“He was exhausted after his bath,” I said. “It’s nice of you to come and visit with your nephew, but I’d prefer it if you didn’t wake him. Cal won’t be back until after midnight and Cassy’s at her committee meeting. I have big plans with this bowl of popcorn and your brother’s big-screen TV.”
“You were fucking with me?” he said, and there was no missing his surprise.
I guess this side of my personality was kind of new as well.
“Didn’t you see your brother at the shop?”
Dane shook his head and started toward me. “I haven’t come from the shop.”
When he reached me, I thrust the bowl in his hands. “It’s a good thing you’re here. I didn’t have time to get clean clothes before Cassy had to rush off. I was about to go looking in the room I stayed in when I first came here, but now I have you to listen out for Jack while I go get something out of my room.”
I put the baby monitor in his other hand. “Go pick a movie while I get dressed. Nothing scary.”
Dane was still standing there looking a little stunned as I spun and jogged down the stairs, out the front door, and across the yard to my room.
It was still hot, so after I put on my underwear, I pulled on some shorts, soft ones that were nice and comfy, one of my sports bras—there was no way I could tolerate underwire just then—and a loose-ish T-shirt. Nothing was ever loose over my boobs, though.
I stared at myself in the mirror.
My aunt had forbidden shorts or short skirts, and tank tops. She hadn’t liked me wearing my hair down either. She liked it tied back tidy off my face.
I’d been stuck, had felt stuck for so long. Controlled, shoved around from place to place, my life in everyone’s hands but my own. Coming here after Dane did his vanishing act—after I’d gotten to know Cassy over several embarrassing blubbering phone calls, wanting to know where he was and being told he didn’t want to be found—had been incredibly hard.
Then Cassy had offered me a new start.
It felt weird at first, being with Dane’s family. But this job, this place, I’d fallen in love with it.
I’d wanted to take control of my own life, and I finally felt like I could make that happen when I moved here. Maybe Dane was right; maybe he had been holding on too tight, because while he was gone I’d learned to be more self-reliant. I’d grown stronger.
If nothing else, losing him had given me that, and I was actually thankful for it despite the debilitating pain it had caused. Despite wishing I’d been given the chance to come to the same realization a different way.
I thought about Dane waiting for me in the main house and about what he’d said to me at The Mule the other night about wanting to make it right between us, that he’d do anything.
An idea popped into my head, a crazy idea that I knew wasn’t going anywhere now that it was there.
Could I really ask that of Dane? Could I go through with it?
Maybe.
The more I thought about it, the more I thought it was kind of perfect.
After being restricted for so long, I wanted to experience life and live it on my terms. I wanted to date and have fun…and I wanted my best friend back.
My very experienced best friend. Our relationship had always been platonic, but I knew he had skills. He’d had girls chasing after him even when we were kids.
He’d said he’d do anything, whatever it took, to get me back in his life.
I couldn’t go on the way I was, one dating disaster after the next. I was finally free to live my life, but with my nerves and inexperience I was getting in my own way. What if my next kissing-related accident ended in a much more serious injury? Knowing me, anything could happen.
When it came to guys, I was as smooth as a gravel road. I needed help. And it just so happened I knew an expert.
I grabbed a piece of paper and quickly jotted down what I wanted on it, then grinned and added one last thing. Folding it, I put it in my pocket and headed back to the house.
Dane
I didn’t know how long I stood at the top of the stairs after Everly skipped off in her damp fucking towel, but I’d been struggling to think straight since. And I was still struggling to think straight fifteen minutes later.
Somehow I’d made it down to the living room even without seeing my feet past the impressive bulge in my jeans or tripping over my tongue.
I was a bastard.
This was Everly. I shouldn’t be thinking about her like this. Fuck. I thought I had my head on straight again after what happened at the bar. But walking into that kitchen to the sight of Everly’s round ass wrapped in damp terrycloth, naked underneath, swaying while she flicked through a magazine, was b
urned into my brain.
And when she turned around, the way it hugged her tits. Fuck, I’d seen the outline of her nipples through it, small and tight and hard.
I had to shake this off. There was no way I’d risk losing her again. Wanting her that way and not giving in to it was something I could live with. Losing her completely was not. She was more important to me than the lust riding me, so much more.
I just needed to get that shit under control.
“I hope you saved me some popcorn?” she said, walking back into the room.
“Yeah.” My fucking voice cracked. I quickly sat on the couch, hiding my hard-on.
“You want a drink?” she said as she passed me.
“Sure,” I forced out.
Fucking hell. She was wearing shorts, teeny tiny fucking shorts, and a T-shirt that was probably something she threw on to veg out in front of the TV, but the way Eves was built, the fabric clung to her chest, stretching over all she had going on, and the bra she was wearing under it wasn’t doing its job to control it. They bounced as she walked, in a way that had my mouth going dry.
I quickly looked away, feeling like the worst kind of asshole. She hadn’t kicked me out. She was talking to me. We were making progress. If she caught me eyeing her like a piece of prime rib I wanted to sink my teeth into, it would ruin everything.
So when she walked back in, I focused on the TV and picking a movie and not the woman now sitting beside me, close enough that I could feel the heat and softness of her body.
“Here,” she said, passing me a glass.
I looked down at it, then at her, and couldn’t stop my grin. “Milk?”
She shrugged. “I like milk.”
Everly had changed a lot and not just outwardly. And then she went and gave me this, a taste of my Eves, my girl. “I know you like milk, babe. But I was thinking more a beer.”
“I don’t drink much. Though, as you know, I’m working on that,” she said.
“You don’t want to drink, don’t drink.”
“I don’t do anything I don’t want, Dane. You should know that about me by now.”
Meant For You: Rocktown Ink, Book 3 Page 4
