by Lyn Cote
She squealed. Two hands jerked her ankles and pulled her back under. The two of them thrashed frantically in the water, then began alternately chasing and dunking each other.
Tom finally swam to the side of the pier. On its vertical posts hung black, oversize inner tubes. He tossed out two. Jane swam to the farthest tube, dived and surfaced in the middle of it. She rested her arms around the tube, her feet dangling. Tom paddled his over to face her.
“Jane.” He looked into her eyes. The unguarded expression on his face made it impossible for her to speak. “Jane.”
Hesitantly Jane let her hand glide over the wet surface till her fingertips touched his inner tube. With a quick smile, he laid his hand over hers. Once again tears caught in the back of her throat.
Quickly she slid back under the water and struck out into deeper water, liberally splashing Tom’s face, wishing she had fallen in love with him at sixteen. But it was never too late to change, right?
“Mister Langley, explain yourself.” Lucy glared at Cash a few days later.
Moments ago when she had entered his office, he had risen hastily, causing the blueprint he had been studying to roll shut with a hushed wap. “Lucy?”
“Explain yourself.” She took another step forward, closing the slender gap between her and the cluttered desk in his on-site trailer.
“What? What’s wrong? Is Angie—”
“There’s nothing wrong with Angie. I am asking you to explain yourself, sir.”
Her imperious, irritated manner took him so much by surprise that he couldn’t think of how to answer her. Finally after at least five seconds of staring, he gave up trying to figure out what to say.
He lifted a mound of paperwork off a chair next to his desk. “Won’t you sit down—”
“I prefer to stand. Thank you.” Lucy let her large canvas purse settle on the front edge of the desk. She folded her hands on top of it.
Cash straightened his spine. “What am I explaining?”
“Your mutton-headed behavior toward my granddaughter.”
“I...I...”
The door behind Lucy opened.
“Boss, that load of—”
“Pardon me.” Lucy turned to face the man. “I am in conference with Mister Langley.” She pulled the door’s knob toward herself, forcing the man to back down the steps behind him. When the door closed, she clicked the lock button and swung back to face Cash.
“What the heck is the bee in your bonnet?” Cash demanded.
“Calling my mood a bee in the bonnet is like calling Hurricane Katrina a thunderstorm.”
“Why don’t we just get down to business? What’s this all about?” His hands found his hips. The vehemence of his voice was overshadowed by the sudden pounding of rain on the metal roof above them. He groaned aloud. “More rain!”
“The fact it’s raining one more time this summer should be of no surprise to anyone. Don’t try to distract me.”
“What is it, Lucy?”
“I believe I informed you that I wanted to know why you had been playing the fool with my granddaughter.”
“I don’t know what you’re referring to.” But uneasiness settled in the pit of his stomach.
“Tom would understand what I am referring to—if he knew what had been going on between you and Jane this summer.”
“Tom.” Cash’s voice was hard. “I’ve been asking myself why he received a special invitation to stay with you.”
“Because it was time for Jane to have someone around who appreciated her.”
“And I don’t appreciate her?”
“I believe that was my first point.”
They glared at each other.
“You proposed a marriage of convenience to Jane.”
“She told you!” Surprise shimmered through him. He hadn’t thought Jane would tell her grandmother.
“Who else? Why...how could you have blundered so completely?” Her tone softened, and she spread her hands in a gesture of appeal.
“I thought it made sense.” He shrugged helplessly.
“My granddaughter is beautiful, successful, tenderhearted. For the past many years I have waited for you to, hoped you would, wake up and see what a treasure she was—”
“How was I supposed to know she’d been in love with me? She was the best friend of my baby sister. I wasn’t a cradle robber.”
“Your past blindness is no excuse. Your proposal was an insult. An insult!”
“I didn’t mean it to be.” He looked down. “I can see now that it was a mistake, but—”
“You regret it?”
“With all my heart.”
A few seconds of silence vibrated between them. Finally Lucy sat down in the chair he had offered her before, and he let himself settle back into his chair.
“What are your feelings for my granddaughter?”
His mouth went dry. But this was Lucy and if anyone could help, she could. “I love her.”
Lucy gave an exaggerated sigh. “I take it you realized this after you proposed?”
He nodded glumly.
Lucy went on, “So you’ve finally come to see what you should have known for ages, but now you can’t tell her—”
“Because she’ll think I’m saying it to manipulate her into marrying me just for Angie’s sake. I don’t suppose you could talk this over with her?”
“Impossible. If I did, she’d know I’ve talked to you about her.”
“And it would only make me more suspect.” Cash felt like hanging his head in defeat.
Lucy sighed loudly again. “This is a fine mess you’ve gotten us into. And it makes no sense. In fact, you haven’t made sense for a long, long time.”
He looked at her quizzically. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“That’s obvious.” She looked into his eyes. “Cash, you’ve been running from life ever since your mother walked out on you and your father.”
A door inside him slammed. “I don’t discuss that.”
Lucy crossed her legs and folded her arms over each other. “Too bad. We’re discussing it today.”
“I don’t see—”
“Exactly. You’ve been blind. It’s time you shifted your attention from what was taken from you, to what you were given. Dena did.”
“What are you talking about?” Cash sat back and hunched to one side. If this were anyone but Lucy, he’d order them out or leave himself. His heart had begun racing.
“Dena lost your mother and then your father just like you did. But she never lost hope. Very early she let me introduce her to her Heavenly Father, the author of love, joy and hope. But every time I’ve tried to give you the same gift, you turned away.”
“You know I believe in God, Lucy. What has that got to do with—”
“All love proceeds from God. You believe in God, but it’s only a cold, dead acknowledgment of His existence. Love Him. Let Him love you. Thank Him for all the love He brought into your life!”
Cash barked an imitation of a laugh. “I’ve lost everyone I’ve ever loved.”
“No you haven’t! You haven’t lost me or Angie.”
“I lost Dena!”
“You were given her for twenty-plus precious years. Can you imagine what your life would have been like if she hadn’t been born? Don’t you realize your mother had already begun to stray before Dena’s birth? God knew you would lose your mother, so he sent you a beautiful sister.”
The frightening thought of never having had his sister in his life chilled Cash and words poured out from deep inside him. “I loved Dena every day of her life. I’ll miss her every day for the rest of my life.”
“And she loved you, but more important, she turned toward God and life. She lived every day without regret. She didn’t give the past any power over her. We’ve lost her and her husband too soon, but they loved each other with a beautiful, an eternal love. The same kind of love Jane has in her heart for you.”
Cash froze in his chair, feeling as though Lucy’s wo
rds had turned him into wood.
Lucy leaned forward. “God gave you Jane, and you never even noticed.”
“Jane says she doesn’t love me anymore.”
“Jane loves you. She’s loved you for years.”
“After my proposal, I don’t think that’s what she plans to do in the future.” The words nearly caught in his throat.
Lucy paused and bent her head in prayer. When she looked up, she said, “Cash, I think it’s time I told you the truth.”
He looked into her eyes. “The truth?”
“Dena came to see me before she and her husband drew up their will.”
A horrible, descending feeling gripped Cash. Did he want to hear this?
“Dena told me that if anything happened to her and John, she planned to give their expected child to Jane.”
“Why?” The single word rattled through him like an earth tremor.
“She was afraid that if anything happened to her, you would retreat into your shell completely and take her child with you into isolation.”
A tear slid down Cash’s cheek.
“She paid me the compliment of telling me how much my family had meant to her and how much she loved us.” Lucy’s voice shook and she had to pause to wipe her eyes. “She said she knew if she gave the child to Jane that it would force you to stay in contact with my family.”
Cash felt brittle. Any word or glance might shatter his fragile emotions utterly.
“You’re going to have to talk to Jane about this. But before you do, you need to talk to God. Settle matters with Him, then ask Him for help.”
This revelation had robbed him of all resistance. Dena... “How?” he asked through dry lips.
“Just be honest. He’s never let anyone down who asked for help. I’ll leave you to it.” With that Lucy stood up and left.
For several minutes, Cash sat alone, listening to the pounding rain on the metal roof overhead. Finally feeling beaten and lost, he bent his head into his hands. God, I don’t know where to begin, Lucy says I’ve been a fool. I think she may be right. I love Jane. I need her. What do I do?
The rain came down harder, making an angry din. Cash felt its force echo inside him, in his pulse. Tears, pent up for months and years at great cost released, pouring from his eyes. Images flashed through his mind. His mother, his father, Dena at different ages, Lucy, Jane, finally Angie. Help me, Lord. I’m through running things my way. I’ve made a mess of everything. If I have any chance to win Jane for Angie and me, help me. Please.
The shop doorbell jingled. Jane glanced up and was shocked to see Cash walk in. She hadn’t seen him since her parents’ anniversary party. Her unruly heart thudded once, then settled back to its natural pace. She took this as a good sign and prepared herself not to be affected by his coming.
* * *
“Hi,” Cash said, trying to look calm. He still felt drained after his encounter with Lucy two days before, but he felt free of the past. Something new, which must be hope, had resulted from his request to God. Jane still might love him. He believed it now.
Maintaining his pose of nonchalance was difficult, but Lucy had suggested an excuse for him to see Jane tonight. In spite of his fledgling faith, his palms were wet from nervousness. What if he opened his stupid mouth and said the wrong thing again?
* * *
“Hi, what can I do for you?” Jane answered, masking her displeasure at his invading her shop.
He hooked his thumbs into the waistband of his worn denim jeans, and she could tell by his dusty appearance that he’d probably been working at his site. “Lucy said you needed someone to look at your roof. You’ve lost some shingles. And there’s another storm on the way.”
The Eagle Lake Florist delivery boy, Mel’s brother, breezed in. “Flowers for Jane Everett.”
Chagrined at the boy’s untimely arrival, Jane stepped around the counter, her eyes avoiding Cash’s.
“Roses,” the teen explained, offering her a long, white box. She smiled stiffly, feeling Cash’s attention on her. “Now that you’ve told me, should I bother to open them?” Carmine’s son was not embarrassed. “Why not? Roses are nothing to sneeze at—unless you’re allergic to them.” He grinned and left with an undaunted wave.
She forced herself to open the box on the nearest glass counter. Twelve perfect, dewy red roses and one white one rested on the moist greenery and darker green tissue paper. The prominent note read: “To a charming lady, Tom.” Flushing slightly at the memory of Tom’s parting kiss, she purposefully ignored Cash and tucked the card into her skirt pocket.
“Lucy told me your roof’s been leaking,” he prompted.
“What can you do about it now? It’s late, and I’m sure it will be raining soon,” she rattled off.
“I think I’ll have time to take a look at it before the storm starts.” Gambling on her natural courtesy and the fact that her roof did need attention, he crossed his arms in front of his chest and waited.
“I suppose you could come home with me. I might as well just close up. No one is going to come out with the sky going dark at seven p.m.”
He nodded, and she swallowed the last traces of her irritation. She couldn’t actually blame Cash for not loving her. There was no cosmic law that obliged him to do so, just because she had been foolish over him for the past several years.
Obviously Lucy had mentioned Jane’s damaged roof to Cash in passing, and out of politeness he was following it up. Feeling his unwavering attention on her, she finished up her daily closing-up routine and picked up the flower box.
During the few-block walk to her house, the gusting wind rocked against them and swirled dust into their eyes, keeping them from talking. Its cool edge signaled the new and powerful front which seemed only minutes away. In silence they reached her door.
With his eyes examining the roof above, Cash left Jane’s side and edged around the house while she hurried inside. Within minutes she had paid an uncommunicative Tish who, though no longer working at the shop, still sat for Angie. Tish left by the back door to go to her car in the alley. As Angie always did after a separation from Jane, she begged to be held.
With a jolt Jane’s stomach rumbled, demanding supper. Outside, thunder rumbled also. Realizing that she would probably be obliged to invite Cash for supper, she grimaced. But resigned to her fate, she carried Angie and the flower box into the kitchen and slid the box onto a lower shelf in the refrigerator. With Angie settled on her hip, Jane went down the steps to her freezer in the basement.
After a hasty search she lifted out a casserole she had made in one of her cooking frenzies. Upstairs she installed Angie in her high chair with miniature crackers on the tray. “Your appetizer, mademoiselle,” Jane murmured and tickled Angie under her chin.
She slid the casserole into the microwave on Defrost and began making salad for two. Fortunately her freezer held a half gallon of rainbow sherbet for dessert, and she had cleaned the kitchen the night before. “My imitation of Suzy Homemaker,” she said to herself, but it was a cozy feeling to be safe at home in the face of the approaching storm.
She heard Cash let himself in the front door, thud quickly up her front stairs and on up into the attic. He thumped around noisily over her head. The sounds Cash made filled the house in a way she hadn’t expected, as though some part of her had been waiting for him to come. She shook her head at herself.
Then Jane heard him exit the same way he had come in. Several minutes later he let himself back in the front door. This time the door got away from him in the wind and banged the outside wall twice before he could latch it. Then without a word he entered the kitchen and sat down at her small table.
Her physical awareness of him jerked all her senses awake. She identified the faint mixing of his scents, a combination that she found compelling as always. The deep timbre of his softly spoken endearment to Angie caught her ear.
Feeling insecure near him, she turned to say something defensive, but instead she bit her lip. His expressi
on was either weary or morose, she couldn’t tell which. She took out a pitcher of iced tea and put it on the red-and-white-checked placemat in front of him. “Stay for dinner?” she invited neutrally.
He looked up then. “Thanks. If it’s not too much trouble.” He eyed her warily.
“Just heating up a casserole.”
“Sounds good to me.” He gave Angie a tired smile and stroked her head once. Jane noted that it was a much different greeting than the exuberant ones he usually gave his little niece.
Setting the wooden salad bowl at the center of the table, she sat down across from him. He looked so lost. Suddenly she longed to say, “What’s wrong, Cash?” But she reminded herself of her resolve. Whatever he was thinking was none of her business and she would have to learn to isolate herself from him emotionally.
* * *
Cash was searching his mind, trying to think of what to say to Jane now that he was here with her alone. The only ideas that came to him were mundane comments about her roof. Why did he have to be so completely hopeless when talking to a woman, especially this woman?
After a long swallow of tea, he cleared his throat. “I’ll send my roofer over tomorrow. You’ve lost quite a few shingles on the west side. I’m afraid you’ll get some leakage tonight if this storm doesn’t pass us by.”
“I don’t think there’s much chance of it passing us. Let’s just hope I don’t lose any more shingles tonight.” As if on cue, the first large raindrops splattered against the kitchen window. At the noise Angie swiveled her head to look at the panes of glass.
“I know it doesn’t seem like it, but we’ve been lucky,” Cash said. “Eastern Minnesota got hit with tornadoes the same night your roof was damaged. Two people died.”
* * *
Jane opened her mouth to reply. The microwave bell rang. Rising, she rotated the glass casserole dish and reset the timer. When she turned back, Cash was again deep in thought, and Angie was staring at him as though even she had noticed her uncle’s abstraction. It was unusual for him to sit beside Angie without engaging her in conversation and teasing. Realizing this caused Jane a deep disquiet. Trying not to call attention to herself and stir Cash’s concentration, she quietly finished setting the table for the two of them.
