Classy AF: Cheap Thrills Series Book 3

by Moore. , Mary B.

  I’d gone back to work yesterday seeing as how the swelling around my eye and cheek had gone down, and aside from some bruising, I was actually doing ok. Tana had left with my parent's friends yesterday, too, so now I could relax and focus back on life – specifically Raoul and sex life.

  Last night while he was at work – and with the help of Garrett, who’d signed up to help me with my pranks because he felt like he owed me – we’d brought the extra plants I’d bought when I’d gone to the garden store for sod for my garden out of my garage, and planted them around the edge of Raoul’s garden.

  One of the ladies I worked with was moving into an apartment, so she’d offered me the planters from her house for my garden, too. We’d spent an hour placing them around his house, including in front of his door, making sure to shove as many of the glittery animals on sticks that I’d bought in them to piss him off after Garrett told me how much they both hated glitter. I’d thought for sure Raoul would lose his shit when he pulled in this morning, instead he’d smiled at them and walked into his house like nothing was wrong. Hell, Ranger hadn’t even peed on my garden since I’d noticed he pissed acid… it was like living in an alternate universe.

  Which brought me to now – heading over to see my brother, while stealing covert glances at his house. Admittedly, it looked awesome with some color in the garden and actual plants around it instead of just the fake grass, but still. I was getting antsy, my vagina was turning blue, and I didn’t know how to fix it.

  I’d never been a ‘girly’ type of girl, the one that who’d sat at her desk drawing hearts with a guy’s name in them when I was in high school. I didn’t need a guy in my life, I was perfectly happy just living it and seeing what happened, but he was different. I’d had two serious relationships in my life, many failed dates, and a lot of pecker pics on Facebook – that was the extent of it. Granted, one of those relationships had lasted for fourteen months, but still.

  As I drove up to my brother’s house, I noticed a familiar car parked in front and pulled in behind it. Why was Raoul here? In fact, why were there so many cars here?

  Getting out, I walked up the drive, pairing up cars with owners, until I got to the front door. Just as I raised my hand to knock on it, the man who’d been driving me crazy opened it.

  Flashing me a huge smile, he looked me up and down. “Hey, baby. You look beautiful.”

  Looking down, I noted my shorts were a decent length and not stained, my tank was also modest and clean, but was it anything special? “I do?”

  “Bring her in!” Tabby yelled, stopping him from saying anything else.

  Blowing out his breath, he moved to the side and waved me forward with his hand – a hand, I might add, that landed on my ass as I walked past him. Looking around us, there were people standing everywhere, all of them waiting for something.

  “Did I miss something?” I asked staring at the large group, all of who were also looking back at me with the same blank expressions on their faces.

  “If you did, so did we,” Hurst said loudly, walking up and giving me a hug. Taking a step back, he looked over the injury on my face and must have been happy with what he saw, because he added, “Looking good, petal.”

  Ever since kids could talk, they’d come up with nicknames for me based on my name. Some had been irritating, some had been downright stupid like the guy in college who called me horny thorny, and some had been really sweet. Hurst’s was definitely the last one.

  Before I could say anything, he was being nudged out of the way by my dad, who just appeared out of nowhere. Sweeping me up in a huge hug, he whispered, “Hey, kiddo.”

  “Stop glaring at the poor boy, Hogan,” Mom snapped, cluing me into the fact that Dad was shooting evil looks at Raoul over my shoulder. “And give me my daughter.”

  Hugs from my parents were never a bad thing – unless they were being used as a way to try to intimidate an officer of the law – so I gladly moved into the arms she was holding out for me. “Hey, Mom.”

  Pulling back, she looked at my eye and whispered, “I know they’re related, but I didn’t think they’d look that alike. I walked up and gave him a huge hug, and he asked me who I was,” she snickered, nodding over at where Raoul and Garrett were now standing, talking to DB. “Then Raoul walked up and I thought your dad had slipped something in my drink.”

  Seeing where we were both looking, Dad muttered, “I don’t like either of them.”

  “You don’t like any guy, Dad.”

  Looking around the room he stopped on Tony, an honorary member of the Townsend family who was standing with one of his daughters in his arms. “I like him. In fact, I think he’s a great guy who’d be perfect for you.”

  “That’s because he’s gay, Hogan, and you know full well that’s his husband who’s just put his arm around him,” Mum pointed out, smiling at the couple who were the definition of perfect.

  “Exactly, he’s perfect for her,” he repeated firmly, then lost a bit of his bluster when my niece crawled up and tugged on the leg of his pants. “Hey, puddin’. How’s my little girl?” he asked, picking her up and growling into her neck. Squealing, Liv grabbed hold of his beard and gave it a tug before face planting in the side of it and rubbing her face into it. The expression that came over his face was photo worthy, so I pulled my cell out and took one. “What’s she doing?”

  “Looks like she’s motor boating your facial hair, sir,” Garrett offered as he walked up to us with his brother. And it did, she just kept shaking her head back and forth into it, and when he tried to pull her away, she’d use the hold she had on it to stop it.

  “She’s what?” Dad asked, wincing as she tugged again. “Don’t just stand there, someone help.” When none of us made a move to do that, he looked at Garrett. “Deputy Evans?”

  Here’s why that was embarrassing – Raoul was standing right next to him in his uniform, and Garrett was wearing a Metallica t-shirt and jeans. How he could mix the two up, I’ll never know – maybe it was anaphylactic beard shock?

  “That’s Captain Evans,” he explained, and not missing a beat reached out and gently lifted Liv out of Dad’s arms, pulling her into his chest. It was almost a natural move for him, like he’d done it a million times before, apart from how stiffly he was holding himself as she settled and looked up at him.

  “’Oul,” she squealed, reaching up and tugging on the beard that was slightly shorter than his brother’s.

  “No, kid, I’m Garrett. That’s ‘Oul,” he turned her to face Raoul who was standing watching it all with a grin on his face.

  Have you ever seen a confused toddler? Like a truly confused one? I thought I had until I watched her eyes light up again and then widen as she looked back at Garrett. Back and forth she looked between them, then down at the floor at their feet for some reason. Still not finding what she was looking for, she turned back to the man holding her and angled herself so that she could look around the back of him, making us all snicker.

  “Garrett, this is my niece Olivia, Liv for short,” I introduced, walking up and rubbing her back with my hand. This little girl was the most precious person I’d ever met in my life, and I loved that she was a member of my family. If I could magically create the perfect child, it would be her. “Livvy, this is Raoul’s brother Garrett,” I explained when she looked up at me, her eyes still open wide. “See? There’s Raoul,” I pointed over at him, loving that he opened his arms to her. I was protective as hell over her and her mom. They’d been through so much, and because of it maybe I overdid the whole ‘you will love’ them thing, but they deserved no less.

  Still not sure what was going on, but recognizing the uniform he was wearing, she asked, “Oul?” before throwing herself at him, almost giving us a heart attack, then squealing when he caught her.

  “Jesus Christ, I wish she wouldn’t do that,” I gasped, holding my chest.

  Both Evans men reacted in their own way, with Raoul nodding in agreement and Garrett muttering, “I need to chan
ge my shorts.”

  “See, Rissa,” Dad whispered loudly to Mom. “He’s even taking the baby now, too. First my daughter, now my granddaughter? This is too much.”

  Sighing, she excused them and guided him over to where Hurst was talking to a couple members of his family with a little baby in his arms. “Here, speak to your friend. He has spare babies, maybe you can borrow one?”

  “But I want that one,” he looked back over his shoulder at Liv who was focused solely on the Evans men, before disappearing into the crowd.

  Taking his attention off Liv, Garrett raised his eyebrow at me. “Interesting guy. I see where you get it from now.”

  “You’ll like him,” Raoul told him, looking up from Liv who was yanking on his beard now. “He’s a blast when you’re not the man who’s in a relationship with his daughter.”

  Lips twitching at his brother’s predicament, Garrett pointed out, “Sucks to be you then, doesn’t it?”

  “Not even slightly, man, not even slightly,” he said seriously, his eyes softening when I looked up at him, his words and expression stealing any cognitive functions out of my brain. Breathing – I wasn’t even sure I was doing that, or how to do it. Blinking – again, not a priority. Standing – it was on a wing and a prayer at this moment. Everything was just gone.

  “Kids,” Garrett gagged, ruining the moment. “Control yourself, there are minors running around the place. And if it doesn’t scare them, it’ll scare the old folk.”

  Flicking an annoyed glance at his brother, Raoul looked back at me. “I never got to say thank you for my beautiful new garden, Rose. I love it.”

  I wasn’t sure if it was the moment we’d had or the words he’d just said, but the only words available to me were, “You what?”

  Bellowing out a laugh that made both Liv and I jump, Garrett held his side. “Your face,” he wheezed, pointing at me. “You guys are so screwed.”

  Before I could ask what he meant, though, there was the sound of something hitting glass, and we all turned around to see my brother and Jose standing looking at everyone. As soon as the last person stopped talking, he opened his mouth to say something, but what came out sounded like the noise Rex made when he had a hairball in his throat.

  “Did you get a turkey?” a voice asked from the group of people, as everyone looked around for the source. I don’t know what had happened to his voice, but I could clearly read Ellis’s lips when he mouthed ‘Fuck you’ in the direction the question had come from.

  Leaning up to whisper in his ear and getting a nod at whatever she’d said, Jose looked out at all of us and yelled, “We’re pregnant!”

  As soon as it sank in, everyone started calling out congratulations and cheering, and for the first time in a long time, I felt tears building. Regardless of our arguments, how big a pain in the ass he was, the torture he put me through when we were kids, I wanted my brother to have everything the world had to offer. I’d thought that he had that when Jose and Liv had come into his life, but now? That pot of everything was overflowing for him, and I wanted to cry with happiness and relief.

  So I did. In a living room crowded with people made up of family and friends, I let the tears loose, and cried my heart out.

  I barely even registered the arms going around me and pulling me into a lumpy chest, or the way something sharp was digging into my forehead. I just cried, wishing that they’d change the definition of the word ‘everything’ to a photo of my brother and his new family. And for Jose, too, who was pregnant at the same time as her sister who’d found out she was pregnant two days after our night out. After a viability scan and reassurances from the doctor that everything looked ok so far after the night of excess alcohol, she’d stopped panicking, but I knew she was waiting anxiously for her twelve week scan now. Situations like that weren’t uncommon, and you came across it a lot. Plus, I’d been the one who was drinking the hardest, Jose and Tabby had only had a couple that night apparently before switching to water. Them being pregnant together now was the definition of fate, and one of the most beautiful things I’d ever seen in my life.

  “Sweetheart, you’re going to make yourself ill,” a voice rasped in my ear, as a big hand rubbed up and down my back, trying to calm me down.

  Another voice joined it, asking over my head, “Are these sad tears or happy tears?”

  “They’re h..h… happy ones,” I croaked, the sobs making it difficult to get the words out. “I wanted this for him so badly, and now he has it all,” I wailed, pushing my face back into the lumpy chest.

  Just as I was starting to calm down, I was passed into a different set of arms, my brother’s. “You got snot on the po-po, Rosie,” Ellis croaked, the words only just audible through the pips and squeaks that made up his normal voice, making me laugh. Just so he didn’t feel left out, I picked up a handful of his t-shirt and wiped my nose. It was a sibling thing – we could do that shit.

  When he glared at me, I shrugged, “What you gonna do? Yell at me?”

  A voice saying, “Congratulations, Auntie,” beside me, almost had the tears coming back, but I managed to grow a set of vagina balls, and popped them in the sacks to cry later.

  Letting go of my brother, I threw my arms around Jose. “Congratulations, maw maw. I’m so freaking happy for you guys.”

  Pulling back so that I could look at her, I saw something I hadn’t seen on her face before now – bliss and peace. She had bliss before because of her beautiful daughter, but now she had peace, like everything she could ever dream of was coming true.

  “Yeah, we’re pretty happy about it, too,” she agreed, looking over at Ellis. “In fact, your brother was so happy, he screamed it to the world and messed up his voice. So, now I have great news to celebrate, and I don’t have to listen to him bitching at me about what I can and can’t do. This is the best day of my life,” she crowed. Looking over my shoulder, she went to say something to Raoul and Garrett, and then glanced quickly at me. What followed was the world’s most comical double take as she stared at something on my forehead. “Well, I’ve heard about branding someone, and seeing as how he’s a pussy when it comes to tattoos I knew it would be you who’d be getting branded,” she said, aiming the last part at me. “But that’s a new one.”

  Looking at the others to see if they knew what she was talking about, I saw how confused they all looked until they saw my face. Ellis growled and then glared at Raoul, Raoul looked oddly pleased with himself, and Garrett burst out laughing again.

  “What is it?” I asked, rubbing my face. I wasn’t wearing makeup today, so I couldn’t have cried it off, but what if I’d gotten pen or something on me?

  Pulling out her phone, Jose snapped a photo and then turned the screen to show me. “There you go, you’ve been branded by the deputy himself.”

  And sure enough, I had the word ‘Deputy’ on my forehead from where I’d pressed my face into his chest when I was crying. Apparently, the sharp object that had been cutting into me had been his badge. This also meant that my semi-secret was out, and Ellis knew what was going on between us.

  Thankfully, we were interrupted by some others joining us and passing on their congratulations to them both, so he was distracted from it. That was until Tabby and DB walked up, caught sight of it and both burst out laughing. And then, the turkey flapped its wings and screeched words that no one understood – not even Tom Townsend, who actually had a pet turkey. Taking Liv from Garrett – whom I assume she’d been passed to during my crying jag – I held her out to her daddy, instantly calming him down.

  “I love you,” I whispered over her head. “But if you mess this up for me, I’ll cut your balls off and beat you with them,” I warned, giving him the sweet smile I always used when we were kids.

  With a sigh, he pulled me into his side with his free arm, doing his best to squeeze the air out of my lungs as he did it. I think he said, “I love you, Rosie,” but it was hard to tell given the state his voice was in.

  Looking back over at where Raou
l was now talking to DB, Tabby, and a couple of the Townsends, I smiled. I had no idea what the future held with this man - I didn’t even know what we were to each other - but I was happy. The last week had been heavy, worrying about Tana, worrying about Chad, dealing with the fact I’d been punched in the face by Big Foot, and everything in between. There was something about baby news that gave life a fresh slate, and I was kind of hoping this was it.

  “So then,” Garrett said loudly over the group of laughing people, “we’ve got him duct taped to the table like a mummy, face down so he can’t see what’s going on with his wrist facing up, and he’s screaming before it even touches the skin. The guy puts the transfer on his wrist and he almost flips the table,” he wheezed, holding his side. “He hears the machine start buzzing and goes…” he broke off, struggling to get the rest of the story out.

  But I knew what he said, I’d memorized it when he’d told me the other day, and seeing as how Garrett was in no fit state, I yelled, “That better be a vibrator!”

  For the six people who were hearing the story, it was hilarious. Unfortunately, for the other guests who had no idea what was going on, including my parents, not so much. Well, a majority of them did find it funny, but they didn’t understand that it wasn’t me who was hoping for one. I had them at home, but now I wanted the real deal.

  Chapter Eleven

  Rose

  Unsurprisingly, I’d left the party not long after I’d yelled out about vibrators. All the kids had begun asking for their dinner, plus it was an impromptu affair, so it had ended early. With my parents staying at my brother’s to talk about wedding plans and babies, I’d been free to head home, so I had. Which led me to now, tiredly taking my shoes off and then walking toward the shower.

  Working in a hospital leaves a certain aroma on you, and it’s a relief to wash it off at the end of each day. I’d managed a quick shower before I’d headed out earlier, but now I wanted a longer one and to wash my hair.