by M. S. Parker
“I feel sorry for you,” I said quietly.
Then I turned my head and looked back at Dominic. Just a few feet separated us now and it felt like miles.
I forced myself to take the first step, then the next. His gaze rested on my face and I felt like I could hardly bear it.
Finally, I was just a few inches away and the pounding of my heart was so loud, I wondered if he could hear it. I felt naked under his gaze. Desperate for respite, I looked away and my gaze fell on the mirrors on the opposite wall.
Again, it struck me how out of place I was. It wasn’t just because I wasn’t dressed for this place. It went much deeper than that and I knew it.
“I’m sorry.” My voice was barely a whisper. “I’m so sorry.”
Dominic held out his hand without a word.
Slowly, I took it and the tightness around my lungs eased. For the first time since I’d seen those pictures, I could breathe again.
Chapter 11
Dominic
One thing I had come to love about Aleena was that silence with her had been easy. With her, I never felt out of place in the quiet. I never felt like I had to say something when I wanted to say nothing at all.
But now, the silence was different.
I didn’t feel moved to say anything, but I had the feeling she did. She sat next to me on seats of luxurious leather as we sped through the night and I could feel the words trembling on her tongue.
Yet she held them back.
I didn’t prompt her to speak. I didn’t see the point. I knew how miserable it was to have things inside of you that you wanted to say but couldn’t manage to give voice to. I also knew how terrible it was to want silence and have people pushing you to speak. If she wanted silence, she could be silent. If she wanted to speak or felt she had to, then she would have to find her own way to figure out what she wanted to say.
Just then, I was dealing with enough turmoil of my own.
I was dealing with enough emotion on my own.
I hurt and I didn’t like it. That was actually putting it mildly. It fucking pissed me off. I was furious. Furious at her, at myself, at Penelope. She’d told Penelope she felt sorry for her and even that infuriated me. Penelope didn’t deserve her pity or her sympathy.
Where had Aleena’s sympathy or her kind thoughts been when she’d looked at those pictures and just believed. Believed the worst of me.
What would you have done? The rational part of me tried to gain control, but I didn’t want to be rational.
Fury all but consumed me, burning through every single part of me and there was nothing I could do about it. Finally, the car rumbled to a stop in front of the penthouse and I climbed out, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. For a long moment, I simply stood, and then I turned and held out a hand to Aleena.
She accepted and we started toward the building.
Need already had my muscles knotted and I could see the two of us. Could see the things I wanted to do, the things I would do...
And halfway to the door, I stopped.
Aleena looked up at me, apprehension on her face. I hated that look, but I couldn’t do anything about it.
I gave her my keys. Actually, they were her keys. She had left them behind when she left me. I’d taken them with me tonight, intending to give them back.
“Do you still want these?” It was a struggle to keep my voice level.
“Yes,” she said, her voice soft. “Dominic, I’m sorry. I—”
I shook my head. “Go on up. I’ll be back later.”
“Where you going?” she asked. Her voice broke as her head fell.
It was like she’d punched me straight in the heart. I made a move as if to touch her, but I stopped. If I touched her now, it was all done. If I touched her now, I would do things I didn’t think she was ready for and I would ruin what we had. It was tenuous at the moment as it was.
“I can’t be around you right now.” My voice was as harsh as hers was hesitant and I felt as much as saw her stiffen. “I’m going to go to the club. Or to work. Something. I don’t know. But I need to...I need some time before I can be around you. I’m sorry.”
She flinched when I mentioned the club and by the time I was done speaking, her face had crumpled and tears had filled her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she whispered again.
“I know.” I jerked my head in a nod. “We’ll…talk. Later. But for now…”
I went to turn away, but she caught my arm. “Please don’t leave.”
“I can’t stay here.” I stared at her hand, her slim fingers, warm and gold, soft and slim, on my arm. My stomach twisted, knotted. “I can’t be around you. I need…”
“I know what you need.” The words were ragged, as if torn from her. “I…Dominic, I need it too. Please don’t leave me right now. I’m sorry. Please.”
She moved closer, so close I could smell her. Smell her skin, her hair. So close, I could feel the heat of her. Impossibly, my body tensed even more. I wanted to shake off her hand, but I couldn’t move.
“You don’t know what you’re asking for.”
Her words were soft, but sincere. “Then show me.”
Control had become a brittle thing and when she touched my cheek, I knew it was about to break. I caught her wrist, squeezed lightly, felt the delicate bones beneath my fingers. “Be sure, Aleena.”
“I am.”
I took a step back and inhaled slowly. I still needed some control. When I was ready, I held out my hand and waited for her to take that final step.
Her hand slid into mine without any hesitation.
My blood started to pump hot and thick, while the savage need that had been building inside me rose to a deafening roar.
Chapter 12
Aleena
Be sure, he’d told me.
I couldn’t say he hadn’t warned me.
I was now as helpless as I’d ever been. Still, I was resolved to see it through. I’d hurt him, letting my own insecurity override everything else. I wasn’t going to let him go to someone else for what he needed, even if it was only to watch. Besides, I needed this too.
I held a scarf clutched in my hands, because I couldn’t speak. Dominic had gagged me, and not with a cloth or anything like that. No, he’d used a ball gag for the first time and my jaw ached.
He’d spent nearly twenty minutes restraining me, but there was nothing ornate about the restraints. I knew why. He’d used the time to calm himself, center himself, and to draw it out. Now, face down and my cheek pressed to the floor, I closed my eyes and waited.
I’d been waiting several minutes, the anticipation killing me, but still better than the emptiness I’d felt without him.
Something flicked between my thighs, not touching, but the promise of more.
I twitched and instinctively tried to draw them together, but the spreader bar made it impossible.
I couldn’t even move away or roll to my side, because my ankles weren’t the only thing restrained. He’d brought out another bar, this one attaching to my collar. It had loops on the end for my wrists, loops that could slide with the flick of a latch.
I was kneeling face down with my ass in the air and my hands near my face, locked in place, a scarf in one hand. If it got to be too much, I was to drop that scarf. That was my alternative for a safe word.
Lashes flicked between my thighs and the sound of my muffled moan rose to my ears. I was ready, needy. I didn’t just need him though, I needed his forgiveness, needed to prove myself, and this was the way to do it.
I felt something against my back.
“You didn’t trust me.” Dominic’s voice was soft, emotionless. Yet I heard the pain in it. I’d seen it in his eyes. I could have begged him to forgive me if I would, but I wouldn’t. What I would do was let him have what he needed from me. Let him give me what I needed from him.
He brought the flogger down, and I gasped when the lashes spread out over my ass and between my thighs. It wasn’t the leather and fur one, and
it confirmed what I’d already known. This was going to hurt.
The flogger struck my ass again, sending heat coursing through me.
“I’m not pleased about it, Aleena. Do you understand?” Something in his tone shifted, and I could hear the man beneath the Dom. “This doesn’t work if you don’t trust me.”
I nodded the best I could, feeling the soft velvet rub against my neck.
“You’re going to be punished for it now.”
I nodded again.
“Do you want to be punished?”
Another nod. It was the truth. I wanted this, wanted the pain he could give me and the release that came with it. Release for me, and for him.
He struck me again, harder this time, and I screamed against the ball gag. It was the harshest edge of pleasure and the sweetest slice of pain. I let my head fall forward, my eyes closing as I absorbed the next few blows.
Sweat dripped from me when he stopped and came to kneel behind me. My ass burned, my breath coming in harsh pants. His hand tangled in my hair and he yanked me up.
“You won’t ever doubt me like that again, will you?”
I would have shaken my head, but I couldn’t, not with him holding my hair so tight.
Then it wasn’t necessary because he was freeing me from the ball-gag. “No.” It was a whimper and a plea and a promise. My voice was hoarse.
“Good.” He slid a hand down my stomach and pressed me back against him. Oh, fuck. He was naked.
He plunged two fingers into my pussy and I nearly screamed. I was wet, but not stretched and he wasn’t being gentle. His fingers pumped in and out, twisting and rubbing against my walls.
“I thought about making you go all night without a climax, but I decided that wasn’t what either of us needed.”
He pressed his thumb against my clit and I moaned.
“No words unless I ask a question, but you can make all the noises you want.”
I rolled my hips and rode his hand. He made no move to stop me. Instead, he moved with me and I felt his cock, hot against my ass.
“In fact, I want you to scream.” He pushed a third finger inside me. “Scream for me, baby.”
His fingers twisted again and that was it. I shuddered, my hips bucking against his hand as I came. His other hand pinched my nipple, rolling and pulling until the whining sound turned into a loud cry. Not quite a scream, but close.
“You see, I need to mark you, make you understand—you’re mine. I’m yours.” He spoke against my ear as he continued to pump his fingers in and out, harsh and fast, working me higher and higher. “Do you understand me, baby?”
“Yes, sir.” The words were little more than air.
“Good.”
He stopped abruptly, I moaned, trembling, so close to coming again.
“I’m taking your ass tonight, Aleena.”
I sucked in a breath.
“Not a single word unless it’s the answer to a question, or the ball-gag goes back in.”
He pushed me forward, his grip on my hair guiding me back to the floor. I was helpless, unable to brace myself. He controlled me, made sure I was flat and steady and then I gasped as I felt his thumbs on the cheeks of my ass, pulling me wide.
“If I didn’t want to hear you scream for me, I’d have it back in.”
I felt the cool liquid trickle down my ass, then gasped as his thumb pushed inside me. His finger followed, working my ass open for what was to come.
He spoke as he pressed a second finger forward, his voice blunt and direct. “It’s going to hurt you some. You have to take it because I can’t make it not hurt. If it’s too much, you remember your safe word, right?”
I nodded, apprehension grabbing and twisting me. The burn from his fingers was fading into pleasure, but I knew he was so much bigger than his fingers.
“I’m also going to mark you tonight,” he promised. “And you won’t cover it up.” His free hand reached down and grasped my collar. He didn’t pull on it, but I could feel his fingers caressing the soft material. “You’re mine, and by the time we’re done, you’re going to know exactly what that means.”
He pulled his fingers out so suddenly that I gasped. And then I felt it, the blunt head of his cock pressing against my asshole. I tried to relax, but my body was coiled too tight. He pushed forward slowly and I sucked in a desperate breath through my nostrils, trying to adjust the head of his cock as it squeezed in past the ring of muscle. He held there for a moment, rocking slowly. He wasn’t moving much, just shallow sways of his body that fooled my body into relaxing. The second I did, he slid deeper. I tensed.
He fisted a hand in my hair and jerked.
Gasping, I arched up. So focused on that pain, I forgot to fight the invasion of my body and he worked deeper, then deeper.
Pain bloomed, threatening to overtake me and he slowed, shifting to those slow, shallow thrusts and lulling me into relaxing again.
I shuddered around him as he smoothed a hand down the curve of my hip, along my butt and then administered a series of quick hard slaps that left my skin stinging and my clit throbbing, desperate for release. As though I’d told him that, he slid his other hand around and stroked me.
I climaxed almost immediately, quick and hard.
And he drove completely inside, in one ruthless thrust.
I screamed, the pain brutal, overshadowing the pleasure of my orgasm. I twitched and twisted, tried to tear away from him. He pulled my hair and forced me up, forced my body to accommodate him, accept him. His teeth scraped against the side of my neck.
“Is it too much?” he asked.
“No,” I said, not sure if he believed me.
He rotated his hips. “Say the word. Tell me…”
The word.
The safe word.
It formed in my mind. On my lips.
He rotated his hips again and slapped the flat of his hand against my mound, directly against my clit. I felt him swell inside my ass, impossibly and painfully large, and he said again, “Say the word if you want me to stop.”
Suddenly, I remembered the look on his face when I’d seen him in the restaurant. I thought of the pain he must have been in when he’d realized I’d left without even asking him to explain. I’d thought he’d broken my heart, but I’d been the one who’d done wrong. I’d violated the trust between us. I needed to prove that I trusted him.
This was how.
“No.” I twisted my head around and kissed him, ignoring the pain. No. I welcomed it and rolled my hips, riding his cock. I screamed against his mouth as the movement stretched me wider. I bit down on his bottom lip and he cupped my breasts, squeezing in a way I would’ve found painful if he hadn’t been buried, balls deep, in my ass.
He broke the kiss and twisted my head back around so that he could have access to my neck. As his mouth latched on to a spot just above my collar, I knew he was making good on his promise to mark me. He gripped my hip and my hair and held me steady as he plunged inside, over and over, his thrusts pushing me off my knees.
I didn’t know when the pain slid away into pleasure, but it did and I found myself driving back onto him and begging, pleading. The hand that steadied my hip moved between my thighs, plunging in and out as he flicked his thumb against my clitoris. He pulsed inside me, swelled, and I knew he was close.
His thumb circled and teased at my clit and then he bit down as he shoved himself deep inside me. Hard.
I came only a moment before he did and as I heard him say my name, blackness danced before me.
***
He must have taken off all of restraints while I was passed out because when I came to, he was carrying me into the shower.
He cleaned me, washing me from head to toe, including my hair and I didn’t even protest when he used the wrong shampoo. I didn’t exactly mind the idea of smelling like him. Besides, I barely had the energy to stand there as it was.
The water stung against every spot the flogger had landed and I could feel the place on my neck
where he’d bitten me. I ached all over and when he used a soft wash cloth and rubbed me between the cheeks of my ass, I whimpered.
“Shhh,” he murmured.
Ducking my head, I closed my eyes and pretended I wasn’t blushing over the shocking intimacy of it. I felt his lips press against the space between my shoulder blades and shivered at the gentle touch, such a stark contrast to what we’d just done.
I was about ready to fall asleep on my feet when he turned off the water and then, again, picked me up.
“I can walk,” I mumbled, my head falling against his chest.
“And I can carry you,” he said against my hair.
When he lay me down, at first, I didn’t notice anything odd.
Then, I realized that the bed didn’t feel quite right. My eyes flew open and I looked around. The steel gray walls surrounding me weren’t my walls. The maroon accents weren’t mine.
“Dominic?”
He curled up in the bed next to me and drew me into the curve of his body. “You stay with me tonight,” he said, his voice flat.
His fingers brushed against the spot on my neck where he’d marked me. His voice softened. “Will you stay with me?”
Mute, I nodded. All of the emotions that had been just below the surface came bubbling up. Eyes blurring with tears, I turned into him and wrapped my arms around his waist. “I’m so sorry.”
His hand curved over the back of my neck. “Next time, trust in me,” he said, his voice ragged.
“I will,” I promised as I felt the tears trailing down my cheek.
He held me tighter until I fell asleep.
Chapter 13
Dominic
Three days had passed since she’d cried herself to sleep in my arms Saturday night.
Sunday, when she’d tried to talk about it, I’d simply asked if she trusted me.
“Yes.” Then she’d looked away, but I’d still seen the shine of tears in her eyes. “I should have trusted you more. I was wrong. Can you—”
I’d kissed her to cut the words off and said, “It’s over. We don’t look back. You trust me. I trust you.”
