Laurie didn’t contact a relator, but he wrote to Seth, detailing his idea of moving west as well as Eric’s continued absence. Laurie didn’t dwell on the latter, but the notion of leaving Manhattan was one he fully explored, both on paper and inwardly. The only reason he didn’t find a realtor was due to the impending holiday. Better to search for a home in the new year.
Throughout Hanukkah Lynne tried reaching Stanford, but her efforts were in vain. She did speak to Agatha, who said that while initially Stanford had taken seriously Agatha’s admonitions, over the last few days he’d crawled right back into his shell. Lynne had nearly smiled at Agatha’s tone, that of a frustrated mother. But the message was being lost as each day Eric failed to return, leaving Stanford free to assume those out west were playing a cruel game. Agatha never asked where Eric was, but she assured Lynne prayers were with them, and asked Lynne to keep trying to contact Stanford. And to give Laurie an extra hug in Agatha’s stead.
Nearly a week out from Christmas, the last night of Hanukkah was celebrated as if no worries existed. Laurie was jovial as he lit all eight candles, Paul and Ann thrilled with their small presents, Jane pleased with a caramel slice. Lynne had spoken with Frannie earlier that day, but no effort to excuse Eric’s absence was necessary, as Frannie seemed perfectly at ease with the status quo. Lynne wasn’t sure why that was, and she asked Renee and Sam if they had said anything. Both Aherns shook their heads, but Sam wore a small smile. Of all his siblings, even Ted and Henry, Frannie possessed a willingness to accept even the most elusive concept. Sam recalled when he was not much older than Paul how it was Frannie to explain communion, both its mystical and concrete elements. He couldn’t recall what she had said, then he smiled. If she remembered, maybe she could tell Paul and Ann the same in the next few years. Lynne still felt a bit uneasy; Fran might be willing to overlook Eric’s non-presence, but what about the rest of the Canfields and others? Renee noted how between Christmas and her brother’s recovery, the Aherns and Nolans wouldn’t raise questions. And if they did, Renee clucked, it wasn’t any of their business.
Yet, one man knew why Eric was missing, and for as hard as Lynne tried, she remained unable to speak with him. Laurie had found it amusing; how many phone calls was Stan refusing in addition to Lynne’s? Laurie joked that Lynne should try Stan at work; there was no way he could decline to speak with her if Emily Harold took the call. But Lynne didn’t want to cause Stanford more anguish, although she knew Laurie was suffering. He might not mention relocating, but Hanukkah had reinforced Laurie’s aspirations. Lynne felt torn, for she loved having him close, but was her need worth his heartache?
Then she considered the same about wherever Eric was; just as he had left to minister to his father, Lynne was certain he must be doing the same now for another needy soul. Waking alone was difficult, although she didn’t sleep for more than a few hours at a time, the baby forcing her out of bed. But when Lynne did manage solid rest, she dreamed of her husband as though he had never left. It was Eric at her side as Jane adjusted to her toddler bed, Eric making breakfast for his family, Eric ushering them to St. Matthew’s. As Lynne stirred from those dreams, she ached upon finding herself alone. Sometimes she cried simply to release that tension. Most times she prayed, seeking peace for her husband as well as herself. Then her intercessions covered those she loved, but no longer did she ask for Eric’s timely return. Eric would come home when his task was done.
But throughout the day, Lynne was reminded of another couple’s separation. Again unable to reach Stanford, Lynne called Michael, who didn’t ask about Eric, but inquired as to Laurie’s well-being. Lynne shared what she felt was appropriate, although she kept Laurie’s moving plans under wraps. Like Agatha, Michael had implored Stanford to keep an open mind, which heartened Lynne, yet it seemed all their efforts were falling on deaf ears. Michael wished Lynne and Jane a merry Christmas, and for Lynne to give Laurie Michael’s love. The older man’s tone was as if Michael had two sons, and when Lynne delivered that message, Laurie smiled, then brushed aside a few tears. He announced he was taking a walk, but as Jane clamored to join him, Laurie only kissed her cheek. He put on his coat, leaving the house from the sunroom’s French doors.
Jane fussed for a bit, then quieted as Lynne led her into the living room. Mother and daughter played with blocks, then Lynne read a few books, Jane growing sleepy. There wasn’t room on Lynne’s lap for Jane to rest, but the toddler was happy to snooze on the sofa. Lynne covered her with a blanket, then carefully eased herself from the couch, taking slow steps across the room to where the Christmas tree stood.
Laurie had admitted an affinity for this symbol; he liked the scent and lights, having strung double what Lynne usually wrapped around the tree. Familiar ornaments dangled from branches, stirring memories of past holidays, but Lynne didn’t brood over those moments. Placing one hand on the baby, she studied the lights, then pondered how the Wise Men had followed a single star. How brightly had it shone, or had it flickered, holding that trio’s attention? How best could Lynne get Stanford’s attention, for clearly that man was doing his utmost to avoid her. She giggled inwardly, then sighed. Then she patted the baby, who wriggled from within. “He can’t hide forever, just like you can’t stay in there much longer.”
The baby kicked, making Lynne wince, but a smile was stirred. “Indeed,” Lynne answered, as if her unborn child had provided an answer. Lynne glanced at Jane, still sleeping. Then Lynne walked to a small desk in the corner of the room. Gathering some stationary, she stepped into the kitchen, then sat at the table, where half an hour later Laurie found her, but only with a glass of milk and pie waiting.
They said little, although Laurie got himself some pie, decaf coffee too. Lynne made small talk, then Laurie cleared his throat. “I’ve made a decision,” he said, cracking his knuckles. “After Christmas, I’m gonna look for a house.”
Lynne nodded. “When will you tell your mother?”
Laurie grinned. “Oh, maybe 1972.”
Lynne chuckled, then reached for his hands. He grasped hers, meeting her gaze. “She’s gonna be, well, not pleased.” He sighed, then released Lynne’s hands. “But I can’t wait around anymore. This’s my life too, and okay, he can’t deal with it, I understand. But you’ve been trying to call him for over a week, what sort of bullshit is that?” Laurie shook his head. “I’m sorry, but he’s not the only person in the world. I’ll love him till I die, but I can’t make him believe what he obviously doesn’t wanna consider. I’m not gonna force him to….” Laurie cracked his knuckles again. “I spent so much time trying to help Seth, but ultimately it wasn’t my job. And while I’m so sorry Eric got dragged into it, neither of us can make Stan, we can’t make him….” Laurie took a deep breath, then ate a bite of pie. He chewed slowly, then had a wry grin. “I’ll ask Sam to recommend a realtor, then in January, we’ll see what’s available. Maybe you’ll be stuck with me for a while, depending what’s on the market.” He drank his coffee, then leaned back in his chair. “I will bring the figurines out here, guess I’ll need to make a trip east, but not until winter’s over. No more snow for me.”
His tone was resolute and Lynne didn’t try to dissuade him. She nodded, finished her pie, then looked at the clock. “Jane’s probably done napping, or she should be if we want her to sleep tonight. Why don’t you get her and I’ll cut her a little slice.”
Laurie chuckled, then ate his last bite. “Sounds like a plan.” He stood, kissing the top of Lynne’s head before exiting the kitchen. Lynne remained in her seat as Laurie gently woke Jane, then told her pie was waiting as soon as she was changed. Once that twosome was in the nursery, Lynne stood, quickly calling Renee, asking if she could stop by sometime tomorrow. The women agreed on lunch, but Sam wouldn’t accompany, for he was scheduled to work in the afternoon. Lynne closed the call before Laurie returned, but noted their impending guests. Laurie asked if Marek was invited and Lynne smiled, saying he could extend that invitation. Laurie went to the telephone
as Jane ate her pie, Lynne giving her daughter a knowing smile.
Lunch the following day wasn’t more than peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, but the conversation was lively for now that Hanukkah was over, Paul was ready for Christmas. Plans were made for the Aherns to attend Christmas Eve services at St. Matthew’s, although Renee shared that Sam also hoped to get to St. Anne’s for midnight mass. Renee wasn’t sure if that was necessary, not wishing to be out so late with the children. Celebrating Hanukkah at sundown had been perfectly timed, and even going to St. Matthew’s for a seven o’clock service would make for a late evening. The Aherns were having Christmas lunch with Lynne, Laurie, and Jane, and would stop by their parents’ homes later that afternoon. Vivian wanted to spend some of Christmas Eve with her niece and nephew, but Paul and Ann had most wanted to share the holiday with this side of their family. Renee was pleased for those attachments, then she wondered how the children would react when Laurie eventually went back to New York.
Hopefully they would take to Eric as quickly as they had Laurie, then Renee prayed, seeking God’s will. She stared at those assembled in Lynne’s kitchen; Marek and Laurie spoke about caramel slices while Lynne chatted with Paul about Santa Claus. Ann and Jane laughed together, about what Renee wasn’t sure, yet it seemed Ann understood Jane’s garbled conversations. Renee would tell Sam how nice lunch had been, but she wouldn’t explain these little details. Not that Sam would feel left out, but that Renee understood how God was present even in the most ordinary moments.
In years to come, would she recall this afternoon, as dialogue wove seamlessly around her. The voices were a lovely mix of youth and wisdom, hopes for Christmas blending with appreciation for good food and better friendships. This first Advent season as a mother had been a mixture of intense joy and bittersweet ruminations, what with Eric’s absence and Ritchie’s convalesce. Renee wasn’t sure at all about those men’s fates, but her heart was steadied by the incalculable delight as a mother of two. Just last night she and Sam had discussed that bliss, then made love like they could create another to join them. Intimacy between the Aherns was still hedged by Sam’s limitations, but when they were together, Renee felt a deeper attachment, and Sam had agreed. Renee gazed at Laurie, her heart aching for him. She prayed that he and Stanford could be reunited. Then she looked at Marek. His laughter sounded richer, or maybe her joy conjured that notion. He caught her gaze, and while she momentarily looked away, she returned to knowledgeable brown eyes that hinted toward a good start for 1964.
Renee smiled back, then focused on her daughter, who giggled at whatever Jane had just said. Sometimes Renee wondered why she had been so blessed at a time that for another family was still so aggrieved. Renee shuddered when she heard Lyndon Johnson mentioned as president; she wasn’t sure if she would ever get used to it. President Johnson had established a commission to investigate the assassination, but regardless of what was learned, a black cloud hovered over Renee’s perception of her government. Secret Service agents hadn’t kept John Kennedy safe, stirring anger within Renee’s heart. Then she glanced at Laurie and Marek, her irritation calming. Bad things happened all the time, no one was immune. Renee then looked at Lynne, who smiled as Paul placed his hand where the baby must be kicking. Not that much room remained for such activity, Renee thought to herself. Would Eric be present for that child’s arrival, she wondered.
Lynne met Renee’s gaze, then nodded, but Renee didn’t think Lynne had read her mind. Lynne seemed to have an agenda, although Renee couldn’t imagine what it might be. As the children began to fuss, Laurie and Marek stood, leading the kids into the living room. Renee wondered if the men knew something she didn’t as she took a seat closer to Lynne. “Everything okay?” Renee asked quietly.
Lynne grasped Renee’s hand. “I need a favor.”
“What?”
Lynne motioned to a kitchen drawer. “There’s a letter I need you to mail. Can you drop it off at the post office today?”
“Well sure, but….” Renee looked in the direction of the living room, from where children’s voices could be heard. “Who’s it for?”
“Stanford,” Lynne whispered. “But I don’t want Laurie aware.”
“Why not?”
Lynne sighed, then relayed an idea that made Renee’s eyes grow wide. She stared at the doorway as Laurie spoke about what Santa might leave for Paul. Renee looked back at Lynne. “Are you serious?”
Lynne nodded. “But I don’t want him to know about….” Again she pointed to where the letter waited.
“Of course, I’ll drop it off today.” Renee stood, then collected the envelope, placing it in her purse, which she then covered with her scarf. She retook her chair, shaking her head. “Do you think, I mean….”
Lynne shrugged. “Stanford won’t answer the telephone.” Then she smiled. “But I have a feeling he won’t be able to avoid a piece of correspondence. Agatha will make sure he sees it.”
Renee giggled. “Well, there’s that.” Then she frowned. “But you said Agatha’s tried talking to him already. Maybe he won’t believe it until….”
Eric came home, yet to say those words seemed to tempt fate. Then Renee cleared her throat. Lynne, Laurie, and Marek believed Eric would return, even Sam felt that way. Renee wanted to share in their optimism, but perhaps it was better to expect the worst. Jackie Kennedy probably never imagined losing her husband, bad enough she’d lost two children. Why were some people’s lives so fraught with anguish while others knew little relative heartache? Then Renee’s thoughts were halted by Marek’s deep laughter. She glanced toward the kitchen doorway, reveling in that man’s happiness, which seemed based upon something said by one of the children. He spoke in Polish, which of course was for Jane’s benefit, yet Ann laughed, perhaps only for how different was that language. Laurie chuckled too, then Renee looked at Lynne, who wore a strange smile. “What?” Renee said.
Lynne gripped Renee’s hands, then spoke softly, yet her voice was tinged with excitement. Renee almost couldn’t believe Lynne’s words, yet she knew this wasn’t fiction. “He’s been wanting to find time to tell you and Sam,” Lynne smiled. “I don’t think he’ll mind me spilling the beans.”
“When’s she coming?” Renee asked.
“Sometime after I have the baby. Not sure if she’s gonna stay here or at….” Then Lynne giggled. “We’ll get to hear more Polish if nothing else.”
“Does she speak English?”
Lynne nodded. “But he says she’s not comfortable with it.”
“Well, I certainly don’t know any Polish.” Then Renee clucked. “My goodness, who’d have guessed Mrs. Henrichsen was….” A flicker sparked in Renee’s chest, making her blink away tears. “I should get that letter mailed.” Glancing at her handbag, Renee stood, then stepped toward the doorway. “Kids, about time to go.”
Paul and Ann both complained, but Renee repeated her words, adding that Jane needed a nap. The children trooped into the kitchen, looking slightly dejected. Lynne gave hugs, then Laurie and Marek did the same. Jane whimpered, but Laurie took her upstairs as the Aherns said their goodbyes. Renee smiled at Marek, then she giggled, leaving Lynne to explain. While Paul and Ann chatted about Santa Claus, Renee pondered the possibility of Christmas miracles, also for that goodness to extend beyond December twenty-fifth.
Chapter 175
The Hawk: Part Nine Page 18
