by Kevin Brooks
No connection, no detonator, no one to activate the detonator.
Safeguards.
I stared down in despair at the pulverized detonator.
Wede never had a chance.
But even as I stood there, with the weight of reality bowing my head to the ground, I began to feel a faint glimmer of hope. The town wall was still standing, I realized. Thered been no explosion yet, no signal from Chola Se---the hordes of Dau still hadnt broken through. And whats more, I knew where Pilgrim and Kite and Diedle were. They were in the cavern. They had to be. There was nowhere else for them to go. And if they were in the cavern, they were trapped. Their only way out was the opening in the wall---
The glimmer of hope was beginning to grow now, flickering ever brighter like a flame in tinder, and as I raised my head and turned to the wall, I could feel myself coming alive again.
But then I saw Diedle.
And I knew I was dead.
I dont know if I was so lost in my thoughts – or just so lost – that I simply didnt hear him coming, or if – despite his enormous bulk – hede somehow managed to creep across the cavern and into the hole in the wall with the whispered silence of a ghost. But either way, Diedle was there – crouched down on his haunches, squeezing sideways through the opening---his arm outstretched and the 8-inch barrel of his Colt Python revolver leveled directly at my head.
Put your hands on your head and take a step back, he said, his voice cold and flat.
When I didnt move, he simply cocked the hammer of the massive revolver and purposefully straightened his arm. I knew he wasnt bluffing. He was going to kill me whatever happened – I could see that in his eyes – and although hede prefer not to do it right now, it wouldnt bother him much if he did.
I put my hands on my head and took a step back.
He didnt move a muscle for 3 or 4 seconds, and as he crouched there in the wall – like a giant beast frozen in stone – I thought he was going to go ahead and shoot me anyway, but eventually he blinked, breaking the stillness, and then he began to move. His eyes never left me as he carefully heaved himself out of the opening, and the gun in his hand never wavered.
There was nothing I could do. If I tried reaching for my knife or the Beretta in my belt, Ide be dead in an instant. So I just stood there, hands on head, watching the big man as he straightened himself up, hitched a knot from his shoulders, and stepped towards me. Ide guessed he was responsible for killing Muqatil and Raoul, and as I glanced at the foot-long curved dagger in his belt, the silver blade darkened with blood, I knew I was right.
He was standing about 10 feet away from me now – his arm still outstretched, the long-barreled revolver still leveled at my head. The pistol was so close to my face – less than 3 feet away – that I briefly thought about reaching out and making a grab for it, but with the hammer already cocked and Diedles finger resting on the trigger, I knew Ide never make it.
You killed my brother, he said.
I shook my head. He was alive when —
Save your breath, boy, he said. Theres nothing more to say.
I saw his finger tightening on the trigger, and the next thing I knew a burst of thunder ripped through my skull and the world exploded. I felt my legs buckling, the ground moving, the air thickening---and as a muffled roar filled my head, and I felt myself staggering to one side, I couldnt understand why I was still feeling anything at all. I was dead, wasnt I? Why could I still hear and feel? Why anything?
Theres no why when youre dead.
Theres not even nothing.
I breathed in then, and as I sucked in a lungful of dust and violently coughed it out, everything suddenly became real again. My eyes were open, I could see the cloud of dust in the air---and as the ringing in my ears began to fade, I could just about hear the distant sound of heavy rocks thumping to the ground high above me---
The wall---
Diedle hadnt shot me.
The town wall had been blown.
Diedle---
I spun round and saw that hede fallen, knocked to the ground by the explosion, and was just starting to get to his knees. Hede dropped the revolver. I could see it on the ground a few feet away from him. He glanced up at me, rubbing dust from his eyes, then quickly began scanning the ground in search of the gun. He spotted it almost immediately and began reaching out, but Ide already drawn my knife now, and as his hand closed on the pistol – and he turned to face me – I raised my arm and threw the knife. I knew I had to kill him outright to stop him, so I went for his head. He jerked sideways at the very last moment in a desperate attempt to save himself, but he wasnt quite quick enough, and the knife caught him in the neck, just below his ear---the 9-inch blade slicing through his throat and instantly dropping him to the ground. For a few moments, his hand kept scrabbling weakly for the gun, but by the time Ide stepped over and kicked the heavy revolver away, he was already lifeless.
The tunnel was quiet now, and in the deathly silence I could just make out a very faint popping sound coming from above ground. It was muffled and dull, deadened by the rock, but when I cupped my hands to my ears and strained to listen, there was no doubt it was the sound of gunfire. And I could hear something else now too, just the faintest hum of a sound – a droning, a whirring, like the faraway massing of insects.
I raised my head and looked up. Hundreds of feet above me, the Dau were swarming in through the demolished wall---
The battle had begun.
A moment later – with uselessly perfect timing – Chola Se called out to me from the other end of the tunnel – NOW JEET! BLOW THE ROOF NOW! – and as the urgency of her voice echoed around the tunnel, I heard a scuffle of movement from somewhere inside the cavern. I pulled the Beretta from my belt, hurried over to the wall, and squatted down to look through the opening.
The vast underground chamber on the other side of the wall was still clouded with dust from the explosion, and as I peered through the shifting gray haze – the torchlights glinting through the dusted gloom – I saw the blurred figures of Pilgrim and Kite standing together on the far side of the cavern. The dust was too thick to see them clearly, and as far as I could tell they werent doing anything in particular, just standing there talking to each other, but unless I was mistaken – and I knew it was quite possible – there seemed to be something about them that was somehow unfamiliar. I couldnt work it out at first – there was nothing obviously different about either of them – and as I carried on gazing through the slowly drifting haze of dust, I began to think it was just me---my mind playing tricks, distorting my perception, distancing me from reality---
But then the dustcloud lifted for a moment, and as I saw the 2 of them relatively clearly, I knew it wasnt me – it was them, together---the 2 of them were together. There was no question about it. There was a closeness between them, an intimacy---it was evident in everything about them – the way they were standing together, so close they were almost touching---the way their eyes never left each other---the way they mirrored each others movements and gestures as they talked---
It was so blatantly obvious I couldnt understand why I hadnt noticed it before. Something caught the corner of my eye then, an unseen movement about 25 yards to the left of Pilgrim and Kite, but when I looked over to see what it was, there was nothing there, just a slight swirling in the dustcloud – the echo of a movement – and a momentary flash of darkness that disappeared as soon as I saw it---or thought I saw it.
When I looked back at Pilgrim and Kite they were embracing, and from the way they were holding each other – tightly, intensely, knowingly – it was clear they were used to it, and I realized then that this wasnt something new, or something I simply hadnt noticed before – it was their hidden truth.
For a few moments then I was rocked with a dizzying torrent of memories – words, voices, images---all mixed up and streaming through my head at the same time. I heard Kites voice – Starry was with me last night---we kept our relationship very much to ourselves – and I heard Sta
rry telling me how hede found out about Pilgrims obsession with Cowboys – an old friend of mine knows a woman who stayed with him one night – and then the remembered image of Starry and Kite at the grocers came to me again, Starry making her smile with the talking fish---
And I didnt know if I was sad or angry or just losing my mind.
Another memory came to me then – a much closer remembrance – and I saw myself walking through the tunnel with Gun Sur and Pilgrim and Chola Se---a week ago, a thousand years ago---and I saw myself running my finger along the wall, then pausing, examining the residue on my fingertip, rubbing at it with my thumb---and I remembered thinking about it, wondering what it told me about the history of the tunnel, then suddenly realizing that it meant nothing---it was nothing---it was human thinking ---a complete waste of time---and that I should have been thinking, or nonthinking, like a dog---Ime in a tunnel, where does it go?---and that any other thoughts were meaningless---
I shut down the memory and stared through the dust at Pilgrim and Kite.
Ide been wasting my time again, I realized. Ide been thinking about them like a human when I should have been thinking about them like a dog. I should have killed them the moment I saw them. I should have just shot them dead.
Everything else was meaningless.
Theyd let go of each other now and it looked as if they were getting ready to go their separate ways. I lowered myself to my knees, leaned in through the opening in the wall, and raised the Beretta, fixing the sight on Pilgrims chest. I breathed out, steadied myself, and began squeezing the trigger---
Then stopped.
A thick swirl of dust had momentarily blocked my view. I thought about shooting through it, but decided it was too much of a risk. I couldnt see Pilgrim at all. If I fired now, I wouldnt know if Ide hit him or not. So I held my breath, keeping the gun still, and waited for the cloud to disperse---
1 second, 2 seconds---
3---4---5---
And then at last the air in the cavern shifted again and the fog of dust spiraled around and cleared, and I could see again---but now there was nothing to see. Pilgrim was no longer there. I lowered the gun and scanned the immediate area, hoping hede either just moved a few feet away or that I hadnt kept a steady enough aim, but there was no sign of him anywhere. And I couldnt see Kite either. I rubbed my eyes and tried again, this time looking all around the cavern, and after a few seconds I thought I saw something, a glimpse of movement in the far left corner, but by the time Ide swung the gun round, Ide lost it again. But then a moment later I saw the same flash of darkness Ide seen earlier. It was just to the left of where I was looking – a vague patch of darkness – and this time, instead of disappearing almost immediately as it had before, the air around it suddenly cleared – the dust blowing outwards and away from it – and I could see it for what it was. It was a door in the far wall, in the lefthand corner---a door that had just been opened. The darkness was the darkness beyond the door, visible for just a moment or 2, then disappearing again as the door was closed---
A door in the wall of the cavern.
And Pilgrim had just gone through it.
As the door closed behind him – and the dustcloud swirled back around it – I heard a dull thump from the opposite side of the cavern, and when I quickly looked over – swinging the pistol round – I was just in time to see another door being pulled shut. It was a mirror image of what Ide just seen – a door in the far wall of the cavern, but this one was in the far righthand corner, the cloud of dust swirling away from it then changing direction and swirling back again as the door slammed shut---
I didnt understand it.
I was sure there hadnt been any doors in the walls when Ide first seen the cavern – I would have remembered them, wouldnt I? – and as I knelt there thinking about it, trying to picture the cavern as Ide seen it before, I wondered again if I was losing my mind – seeing things that werent there, things that couldnt be there---and in that moment I saw my hand reaching out in front of me, my fingers closing as I tried to grab hold of the dust---trying to feel it, examine it---trying to see if it was real---
What are you doing, Jeet?
The voice came from behind me, and before I knew what I was doing Ide spun round, jumped to my feet, and raised the Beretta.
Its me, Jeet! Chola Se snapped, instinctively raising her hands. Its all right---its only me. You can put the gun down now. Jeet? Did you hear me? You can put the gun down---
I dont know why I didnt lower the pistol straightaway. I knew it was Chola Se – I knew it the moment I heard her speak – but for a few cracked seconds something seemed to have broken in me, and whatever it was – whatever Ide lost – it had taken part of me with it. Or maybe something else happened, something---
I dont know. I just---
I cant think about it anymore.
I came back to myself, thats all that matters.
I came back.
Are you sure youre all right now? Chola Se asked me.
Yeh---sorry —
You dont have to apologize anymore. I just want to make sure youre okay.
Yeh, Ime okay. Ime just---I smiled. Ime an idiot.
She didnt smile back. She was staring down at Diedle.
What happened here, Jeet? she asked quietly, glancing across at Muqatils body.
I quickly went through everything – finding Muqatil and the smashed detonator, the fight with Diedle, seeing Pilgrim and Kite in the cavern. When I started telling her about the doors in the far wall, picturing them in my mind as I told her, the mental image triggered a sudden realization, and all at once I knew where Pilgrim and Kite had gone.
The watchtowers, I said, squatting down by the opening in the wall and peering into the cavern again.
What?
Although the dust in the cavern was beginning to settle now, the haze was still too thick to get a clear view of the far wall, but I could see just enough to work out where the doors were. I fixed their position in my mind, then leaned forward – still focusing on the far wall – and looked upwards.
The doors match up with the 2 towers, I said.
I dont understand, Chola Se said. What do you mean?
The cavern stretches between the Central and East Towers, I explained, backing out of the hole and getting to my feet again. The door on the left, the one Pilgrim went through, is directly below the Central Tower, and the door Kite went through is directly below the East Tower.
That doesnt necessarily mean theyre connected.
The doors have got to lead somewhere, Chola. It cant just be a coincidence that theyre right beneath the towers. There must be steps leading up through the cavern wall into the towers —
We would have seen them though, wouldnt we? I mean, weve been in those towers dozens of times. If there were steps that led below ground, we would have seen them.
Not if we werent meant to see them.
She nodded slowly. But even if youre right, that doesnt mean Pilgrim and Kite have gone up into the towers. They could have just used the steps to get out of the cavern.
So why did they split up? Why didnt they go out together?
Why did they split up if theyre going into the towers?
I thought about that for a moment, then shook my head. The only way weare going to get any answers is by going after them.
Whats the point?
I looked at her, taken aback by her bluntness.
Its all over, Jeet, she went on. Pilgrims done what he set out to do. It doesnt matter what hese doing now, or why, or whats going to happen to him---his plan worked. He won. Listen---
She gazed upwards, and we listened together to the distant sounds of battle filtering down through the great mass of rock over our heads – gunfire, muffled explosions, screaming, howling---
The Dau are up there right now, Chola Se said emptily, killing everything that moves. Theres nothing we can do to stop them.
She looked at me, and I could see the hopelessness dulling her eyes. They wer
e losing their light as she spoke to me.
Its over, Jeet, she said. Its finished.
So what are you saying? You think we should just give up?
Give up what? Theres nothing left to give up.
Theres us.
I know, but —
We can still get out of here, Chola. We can still get to the Deathlands.
How?
The same way as we planned before---up a watchtower and down the other side.
She stared at me, and as I gazed back at her I saw the flame of a torchlight fluttering in the shine of her eyes. A hint of life was beginning to come back to her.
But even if we can get up into one of the towers, she said cautiously, how are we going to get down to the other side? We havent got any rope. We cant get down without —
We can use the TNT cables. Theres dozens of them in the cavern.
Are they strong enough?
We can bind them together if theyre not strong enough on their own.
She looked down at the ground, thinking it over, but I could tell shede already made up her mind. Shede come alive again, I could feel it. Shede come back to herself.
Ide found something true in myself too. I wasnt quite sure how Ide managed it, or where it had come from, but I felt right again. It was as if Ide been traveling in the wrong direction for a while, and now – without knowing how – Ide stumbled across the road home.
Ime ready if you are, Chola Se said.
