“Uh, oh. Should I go and explain?”
Julian shook his head. “There is nothing you can say to make it better.” He tossed his blankets onto the couch. “But if this gets back to your father, he might chop off my head after all.”
Much later, I heard a knock on the door. Julian stood there in his pajamas with a pillow in his hand. “The couch is impossible.”
I opened the door and waved him in. “So what about Captain Augustus and my father chopping off your head?” I asked, as he climbed into the bed across from mine and sprawled face-first on top of it.
“I am willing to die. I cannot sleep for two weeks on that couch.”
It turned out not to be a problem at all. Captain Augustus was so busy operating the ship and dealing with the refugees; he didn’t have time to check on us. Julian was careful not to be seen entering or exiting my room, so it worked out fine.
We ended up becoming friends during those long days and nights on the transport ship. I still had a mad crush on him, but I knew it was hopeless. In spite of some vigorous prodding on my part, he refused to answer any questions about his girlfriend, but I knew she existed, and it was enough. I pictured a dark-haired Vegonian girl with a voluptuous body wearing a sexier version of native Vegonian clothing rushing into Julian’s arms as soon as we landed. A horrible vision; one I chose to make myself suffer through often, and each time his girlfriend became prettier and smarter and better than me. It was awful.
We ate with the refugees. Many of them knew about Julian and his family and were delighted to meet me as well. Some of the younger ones had lots of questions about Vega, and I did my best to answer them. Julian watched me with an amused smile on his face.
“What?” I asked, scowling at him.
“I am amazed at how much you have already learned about your home planet.”
“Well, I had a good teacher,” I said, punching him in the arm.
“Ow. I mean, thanks,” he said, rubbing his arm.
I grinned at him, rolling my eyes. “Like it even hurt.”
Julian introduced me to Cosmo, who had once served as a diplomat for my mother. Cosmo was a big, tall man with pure white hair and a booming laugh.
“Julian tells me great things about you, Princess Starr,” he said.
“He does?” I looked at Julian in surprise. He sat across the room from us and pretended not to be paying attention. He seemed embarrassed, so I decided to probe.
“What exactly did he have to say?” I asked, keeping a smile planted on my face.
“He said thou art naturally a brilliant diplomat, and, with your intricate knowledge about Earth and your amazing popularity there, thou would be a wonderful choice for our diplomatic mission if we ever can return.”
I stared at Cosmo in shock. “Do you think it might be possible?”
Cosmo considered my question. “It will be years away, long after you have finished school and completed your studies at university, but there is a possibility, yes.”
I looked for Julian’s reaction, but he’d already gone. “Did he say anything else about me?”
Cosmo thought about it for a moment. “Other than highly praising your beauty and intelligence, he said nothing. I do have to tell you, though, he did not do you justice.” Cosmo gave me a wink, and I smiled at him. A nice older man, and one who had lost his Vegonian Vision if he thought I was beautiful.
When I got back to our room, Julian sat on his bed reading a book. I strolled in and shut the door behind me, clearing my throat. Julian looked up.
“So, I would be an excellent diplomat?”
“I spoke the truth.” He turned his attention back to his book.
I edged closer to the bed. “And is it true you said I was beautiful and intelligent too?”
“I may have mentioned something along those lines,” he said without raising his eyes.
I jumped on top of him, tackling him into a giant hug. “Thank you, thank you, Julian. It changes everything because someday I might have the chance to come back to Earth. It’ll make adjusting to Vega so much easier for me.”
“I did not want to give you any false hope by mentioning it since it is years away, but it is possible.”
“And what about the part when you said I was beautiful and intelligent?” I was on top of him, staring down at him as he grinned at me.
“As I said, I only spoke the truth.” His eyes went to my mouth, and I knew he wanted to kiss me again. I was sorely tempted to kiss him too. I wanted to. But I knew we were getting close to Vega and real life. Real life on Vega meant the return of Julian’s Vegonian Vision and the return of his dislike for me. I could be honest enough to admit distancing myself from Julian had nothing to do with Adrian anymore. It was now about self-preservation alone.
I slowly pulled away from Julian and moved across the room. He watched me for a long moment before going back to his book. I could tell he wasn’t reading anymore, but I didn’t call him out on it. That had something to do with self-preservation as well.
Landing on Vega was not precisely the same as it had been the first time. Still a lot of pomp and circumstance, but there were also some angry parents waiting for me. I tried to break down their hostility with the gifts I’d brought them from Earth, but it wasn’t working.
“Starr, we are disappointed in you,” my father said sternly. “You will be confined to the palace when you are not working on your studies or attending school.”
“I understand.”
I had on jeans and a soft, gray sweater. My hair was up in a ponytail, and I hadn’t bothered with any makeup today.
My father and mother looked at me in surprise. “Is that all?” my father asked.
“Of course. I betrayed your trust and hurt both of you terribly. I’m so sorry.”
“Well, good,” my father said. “Perhaps you have learned something from this adventure after all.”
“I have, Daddy.”
He stared at me for a moment before leaning over and kissing me on top of my head. “We are glad thou hast returned to us, daughter,” he said, his voice shaking. He nodded once to my mother, straightened his uniform, and left the room.
My mother patted the cushion next to her on the settee, and I joined her there. We were in the sitting room of her quarters in the palace. She wrapped me in her soft arms, and I leaned into her.
“I’m so sorry, Mom.”
“I know, darling,” she said, stroking my hair. “But there is something I still don’t understand. Why did you leave us in the first place?”
I sat up straight and looked at her, genuinely seeing her perhaps for the first time. Not simply pretty, my mother was beautiful. She glowed with something so good and so pure it seemed almost magical. The colors she wore, the way she styled her hair, her weight, and her shape did nothing but emphasize the beauty already existing inside her.
“I left because of Vegonian Vision.”
“What do you mean? Vegonian Vision is a wonderful gift to our people.”
I looked at my hands, now clenched on my lap. My mother took them in her own to try to comfort me. I let out a shaky breath.
“When we lived on Earth, I was pretty, and proud of it. I thought it made me better than others, something I deserved somehow, but it wasn’t. I know that now,” I said. “When we came to Vega, people didn’t see me the same way. Suddenly, I wasn’t pretty anymore, and I couldn’t handle it. I didn’t know how to deal with being…ugly.”
My mother looked shocked. “Thou art not ugly, on Vega or anywhere else.” She sounded so much like Julian. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
I put my head on her shoulder. “It’s okay, Mom. I understand about Vegonian Vision now, and I have accepted my ugliness.”
My mother lifted my chin with her hand and looked me directly in the eye. “Starr, I speak the truth. You always have been, and always will be, beautiful to me.”
I averted my eyes. “Maybe your Vegonian Vision isn’t working yet. I know I see things d
ifferently now, so I’m pretty sure it has kicked in for me. You might need some more time.”
My mother laughed. “Darling, I never lost my Vegonian Vision, even while I was on Earth all those long years. There is good in you, and I have always been able to see it.”
She looked at me so kindly, I wanted to cry. “How? I was awful on Earth. The way I treated you and Astra—”
My mother stopped me with a gentle shake of her head. “You were a child. You did not understand. But you’re different now.”
“I am.” My lip trembled as I tried not to cry. “I wish I could be pretty again, but it’s okay. I’d rather be ugly here than live anywhere without you and Daddy and Astra.” The tears started falling, and I couldn’t stop them anymore. It felt so good to get this off my chest.
My mother tilted her head to one side and studied me carefully. “I have told you before thou art not ugly, but there seems to be still something else you do not understand.”
“What?” I wiped away a tear.
“On Vega, beauty is not something you are born with. It is something you earn.”
“How can I earn it?” I asked so eagerly my mother chuckled.
“It’s hard to explain, but it has to do with making yourself into the best possible person you can. Once you have done so, your beauty will shine out from deep inside you.”
“So, I can make myself pretty again?”
“Yes, of course, you can. It is all up to you.”
I found Astra a short time later sitting in the garden wearing a multicolored floral Vegonian concoction. It made her look like one of the flowers surrounding her. She fed the marmesou breadcrumbs, her pretty mouth set in a hard line. The marmesou didn’t look happy to see me either. They all screeched and scrambled up into the trees as soon as I approached.
I sat beside her, but she didn’t speak. “I brought you presents. I put them in your room. Do you want to go and look at them?”
“You can’t buy or charm your way out of this one, Starr. I’m still distraught.”
“I know,” I said with a sigh. “I’m sorry.”
She looked at me, her cheeks bright pink and tears glistening in her eyes. “Sorry? You are sorry? You left me, Starr. You left me here alone, and you didn’t even say goodbye.”
“I wrote you a letter…,” I began, but she stopped me.
“A letter doesn’t count. You’re not only my sister; you’re my best friend. Don’t you understand?”
“I do, and I am sorry. I mean it.” I could see the hurt in her eyes, but I could see forgiveness there too. She hugged me, and we clung together silently in the garden.
“Speaking of letters,” I said, and we both laughed. “No, I mean it. I have a letter for you from Bess, and a package too. I put them in your room.”
“Oh, Bess.” Astra’s eyes grew misty. “Such a good friend. Were you able to see your friends while you were back on Earth?”
“Yes, but I couldn’t call them friends anymore.” I explained about how differently they had looked and acted.
“You have Vegonian Vision now.”
“Don’t I know it.” I blew out a sigh. “The bane of my existence.”
Astra laughed a soft tinkling sound. “I’ve always had it. I don’t know how, but I did. It was a curse. I could see the true natures of all of your friends, but I couldn’t tell you about it.”
“That stinks.”
“Yes. I wanted to warn you about Brittany and Mandy and some of the other girls, but you were always so sweet, innocent, and trusting. I didn’t have the heart to destroy your faith in them.”
For someone with Vegonian Vision, Astra had been blind about my faults. I’d never been the way she described me. “Thanks, Astra.”
“For what?”
“For being such a good sister.” She smiled so angelically it lit up her entire face. Astra wasn’t only beautiful; she was gorgeous.
We went back to her room, and I gave her the gifts I’d brought for her. I told her all about Paris and Julian and everything that had happened while I was on Earth. I left out the kissing, but I guess she could tell how much I liked Julian by how I spoke about him.
“Thou art fond of the duke,” she said, causing both of us to laugh so hard we nearly fell off the bed. It sounded funny to hear her speak Vegonian.
Once we got control of ourselves, I turned to her. “I do like Julian, but he has a girlfriend. He told me he is spoken for already.”
“Interesting,” she said. “And you have Adrian.”
I blinked. I’d almost forgotten about Adrian. “Yes, of course. And I have Adrian,” I sounded so unconvinced she laughed.
“Being spoken for is a powerful thing on Vega. It is a promise made between parents when their children are babies.”
“Like an arranged marriage?” I looked at her in disgust. “Ew.”
“Not quite. It is more like a powerful bond formed between the two people. It is up to them if they choose to act on it or not.”
I scowled. “I’m glad I’m not spoken for. I don’t want to have a bond with someone I don’t even know.”
Astra laughed at the face I made. “Me too, but I am curious to learn more about Julian’s girlfriend.”
“I’m not.” I folded my arms over my chest. “I’ve already tortured myself imagining how beautiful and fantastic she is. I’m afraid the reality might be even worse.”
I left Astra alone so she could read Bess’s letter in private. It was personal and meant a lot to her, and I didn’t want to intrude.
I wandered around the palace and it felt like I saw it for the first time. Yes, it was ornate, but also beautiful. I was lucky to be here, and I finally realized it.
As I walked, I thought about what my mother had told me about Vegonian Vision and decided I was due for a makeover. I’d had makeovers millions of times, but they’d always been about a new hairstyle or makeup or something silly and superficial. This one would be different. This time I was going to makeover myself.
I walked to the palace library and picked up a pile of books about different subjects, from art to science to Vegonian history. I hauled them up to my room, put them on my desk, and made a list of promises to myself I intended to keep.
First of all, I planned to read more and expand my mind to things and places beyond fashion and the latest fads. I’d spend less time in front of mirrors and more around the people who mattered to me. And I would listen with my heart and my mind rather than talking with my mouth.
In only a few short days, I’d begin attending school on Vega. Once there, I would focus on learning, not on the latest gossip. In fact, I would stop gossiping entirely. I would say nothing behind anyone’s back I wouldn’t say to their face. That would be a tough one for me, but I was determined to try.
I walked out onto the balcony of my bedroom and stared as the sun set on Celesta, and its three moons rose in the sky. It was so beautiful my heart swelled in my chest, like the Grinch’s did when he heard the Who’s singing in Whoville. I could almost picture it happening. My heart grew three sizes.
Not far away, I could see the roof of Julian’s palace, and I smiled. Even if he had been promised to someone else, he was close by, and he was my friend, and it gave me hope. Even if I was currently unfinished and somewhat ugly, I could make myself prettier by working harder, and that gave me hope too. I was here, with my family, where I belonged, which gave me the greatest hope of all. With one last glance around the city which was now my home, I went back into my room, picked up a book, and got to work.
Thirteen
“It is a wise father that knows his own child.” William Shakespeare’s Merchant of Venice
Making over a mind, as it turns out, is a lot harder and more complicated than using a new combination of eye shadow colors or even getting highlights. It involved a great deal of work, and the more I learned, the more I realized how little I actually knew. That was the scariest thing of all, discovering the full extent of my ignorance.
; Vegonian high school was unlike anything I’d experienced in Ohio. Tests were more complicated, the teachers more dedicated. Students wanted to be there, and didn’t lie, cheat, try to act cool, or disrupt the class. Nobody on Vega did any of those things. It was pointless because it would be immediately apparent due to Vegonian Vision.
Most of our lessons took place outside in a free form environment. We sat on the grass and shared ideas and taught one another as much as the teachers taught us. After being trapped at a desk and sleeping through most classes for the last eleven years, it felt like genuinely learning for the first time.
There were no cheerleaders on Vega. They would have considered it demeaning to women. There were no football players because football would have seemed shockingly violent and cruel. Their extracurricular activities involved art, theater, dance, and music, and they loved doing crafts. Astra fit right in. I struggled.
I’d thought my only artistic skills involved an eyeliner pencil, but I learned I liked to draw and I had an excellent sense of color. The first day my art teacher praised my work, I glowed with happiness because I knew she told the truth, and I’d earned the compliment.
Maya attended school with me, and we grew closer than ever before. We saw each other daily in class and joined the decorating committee together for the Moon Festival as well. The Moon Festival, the event of the year on Vega, was only a day away. This year, however, it would be bigger than ever before. It would go on for several days and culminate in a second coronation ceremony for my mother. Meant to celebrate the end of the war and her return to the throne, it also signified a way to welcome all the refugees back to Vega.
Maya still looked as pretty to me as she always had. She’d stopped wearing the ridiculous padding under her clothing, and, although she did wear Vegonian dress most of the time, it suited her. She tried to give me back all the things I donated to her before running away from Vega, but I let her keep a few items I knew she liked.
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