“That could’ve been you. It fucking was you. Don’t you get it?”
“I get it, don’t you?”
“What if I couldn’t get to you in time? What if he smuggled you to Mexico before I found you? Used you however he felt like using you with whatever asshole he felt like sharing you with? Used you until there was nothing left of you?”
“But—”
“No. Fuck that. What would I do without you, Han? How do you expect me to go on? There’s no going on without you, woman.”
When I see the wetness shimmer in his eyes, it undoes me. My Raif, Blood, he doesn’t show this emotion to anyone but me and I can’t take the separation any longer, launching myself at him. He catches me, wrapping his arms around my back as I press my lips to his. The tears roll heavily down my face.
“I’m sorry, babe. I’m sorry. But I had to.” I pepper his face with more kisses, anywhere my lips touch.
He gives in, returning the kisses. Though clearly, he’s still angry with me. “No,” he says through more presses to my cheek, chin, and lips. “You did wrong. I had it. I was on her trail. You put yourself and those other women in danger.”
Even if his words come harsh, his lips are soft and I’ll take the harsh words for now. He was scared, I get it. His hand moves up my back to unclasp my bra. He slides the first strap down. “I need you,” he grinds out.
“Take what you need, Raif,” I answer. He peels the second strap down, letting the fabric fall away completely, exposing my breasts to him.
He gently lays me back, moving on top of me. Between kisses, I take hold of his cheeks, looking him in the eyes. “I hope you can understand that I had to. I had to go after her,” I say. He presses his forehead to my chest and heaves a heavy breath.
Then his mouth moves to take my nipple. He’s done this a thousand times in the seven years we’ve been together, but we weren’t actually together and this time feels different. Bigger. Weightier.
I run my now-snagged-from-putting-a-hole-in-that-screen fingernails down his back until reaching his waist, then I bury my hands under his shirt, skin to skin. I slowly move them back up his body until I’m able to pull the fabric up over his head. My heart beats heavy in my chest, but this time, it’s not from fear.
His kisses turn slow, each one drawn out to a painful point because each one fills me with an even deeper love for this man and a need screaming to be quenched. I widen my legs to show him my intentions, but he takes his time mapping out my body with his mouth. These touches are torturous. I feel lightheaded. My skin is on fire. I think I could come from just his kisses.
I’m out of my head, moving my body under him, pressing up for more contact. My chest heaves with every hard-fought breath. The more he teases me, the more I feel like I might actually die.
The heat of his chuckle hits the sensitive skin right at the elastic of my panties. He uses his tongue to draw out a response and I moan low and throaty, clenching my thighs around his back.
But he refuses to stop, refuses to let me catch my breath, moving his mouth and tongue down the silky fabric of my panties, sucking and kissing when he reaches the center. Through my panties. My eyes shoot open and I sit up. My mouth opens, but I can’t make a sound. It—he’s… Raif’s done this before, but at the same time, he’s never done this before.
I’m in sensation overload as he uses a hand to gently push me back down then removes my panties, slowly peeling them down my legs. From there, it’s a slow, sensual assault of his tongue, mouth, and lips. I grip his head, pressing him harder against the ultra-sensitized skin.
He doesn’t even have his pants off yet when a second glorious orgasm hits.
I didn’t know. Raif was my first, my only. He’s always given it in the most exquisite ways, but I didn’t know it could be this. I force my eyes open, pushing my hair back from my face. I’m covered in a light sheen of sweat, but watching him unbuckle his belt and unzip his jeans, I know he’s far from done with me.
Raif’s touches become feather soft as he works his way back up my body to capture my mouth with his. We’re face to face, noses a hair’s breadth apart, when he reaches down to position himself and enters me. There’s that feeling in the pit of my belly again, the one that I get with the feel of him stretching me. That glorious burn only he’s ever given me. The only man I ever want to give that to me.
We move together. Raif and I have always fit. I know his body as well as I know my own. Every scar, every freckle. I make it my goal to trace each one. It’s a maddingly slow pace making me push up with my pelvis to grind against him, but he’s not to be deterred. Raif’s setting the pace tonight.
The deeper he moves inside me, the bigger my heart fills. I trust him with my life, knowing that he’ll always take care of me, give me what I need.
I bite my lip as the pressure builds up inside me once more. I don’t want to let go, not yet. Each thrust goes deeper still, ripping down every emotional wall I’ve used to hold us back. When his eyes squeeze shut and his movements become erratic, I know he’s on the cusp of something glorious. As he lets go, I let go, losing my breath while tears leak from the corners of my eyes. This has never happened before. I don’t cry after sex.
Even I’m not stupid enough not to realize what we experienced tonight was so much more than sex. He holds me close, tucked under his body. I’m hot and a bit sweaty, but I never want to move from this place, from this night.
When I’m able to find my voice, I bring my hand up to his cheek, press my lips to his, and give him the rest. “I love you, Raif Baxter. I’m sorry I scared you. You’re everything to me, okay? I only want this life with you.”
He doesn’t answer with words. What he does is so much better. He gives me the first kiss of the rest of our lives.
10.
Raif
The woman has no idea how much power she holds over me. Every step I’ve made since the moment I saw her walk over to that big rig seven years ago has been for her and now here we are in the back of an ugly, old van on the run from a seriously fucked-up man, essentially planning the rest of our lives.
What we did, what she said to me, it was a declaration. I’m ecstatic, but at the same time, all I can think about is ending Escalante to make sure she stays safe. Taking a life isn’t something anyone should go into lightly, but I’ve done it before and I’ll do it again. I plan to stand over his dying body with a smile on my face. Let that be the last thing he sees.
Hannah’s eyes are closed. She’s beautiful lying next to me wearing a contented smile. I move to pull the second bag over us and hold her while we both drift off to sleep. I sleep hard, not stirring until my phone rings. Hannah never moved from the spot I tucked her in before we slept. She only stretches when I reach over her to grab my phone.
It’s Duke. We need to get back to the Missouri safehouse. More shit, different day.
“Hey,” she says, a knowing half-smile playing across her face.
“Morning.”
“Everything okay?” she asks, tilting her chin in the direction of my hand with the phone.
“We gotta get going.”
“I wish we didn’t have to go back to reality already.”
“Me too, baby. But think of it like this: It’s a better reality now than it was yesterday.”
Because I have her now. She’s all mine. In every way save from wearing my gold band and that I plan to remedy as soon as we’re done with this mess. Maybe even sooner.
I help her up and as I pull on my jeans, remember that I have a bag for her. “In the corner, clothing for you, baby,” I say. She smiles and presses her lips to catch the corner of my mouth, then moves to open the bag. In the middle of a rescue, I had to stop at a Walmart to buy my lady something to wear. As if that didn’t kill. Wasting time getting to her. All the while wondering ‘what if taking this detour means she dies?’ but she needed clothing because I had no idea how we’d execute our escape until I got there to see the lay of the land. How many people did Escala
nte have working for him? Who was on his payroll for slipping him information?
If we had to mix with other people to get out, she couldn’t do it in a bra and panties. Anybody could be watching. Anybody could be informing on us.
She dresses while I climb back behind the wheel. I’d prefer her up here next to me, but it’s safer to keep her in the back where she can’t be spotted.
We’re only a couple of hours from Missouri. It’s important we get back to the brothers, but the urgency has eased enough for me to be able to find us a bite to eat and some coffee before heading back.
Once I’m on the highway, we don’t stop again until the Missouri compound comes into view. Their prospect opens the gate for us. We don’t even park before the forecourt fills with women and their men waiting on us.
Among the front of them is Elise. She looks as beautiful as ever. Boss on crutches has his arm wrapped protectively around her waist.
Hannah gasps and I know she sees Elise. She dips her head down, trembling. “What if she hates me?” Han whispers. “What if Boss hates me? Will I have to leave?”
“Fuck that, baby. You’re not going anywhere. You’re mine. He can accept it or not. Don’t give a fuck at this point. You’re mine.”
“But—”
I shake my head. “You remember the shit she put the club through. He’ll fucking get over it.”
“Okay.” She whispers that word even softer. That won’t do. She shrieks when I pull her onto my lap to kiss the ever-loving shit out of her before we exit the van. It’s enough to calm her nerves.
The first ones to us are Brin and Hero. He clasps my hand, bringing me in for a half-hug, patting my back while Brinley, carrying Hannah’s purse, throws her entire body into hugging Han. The women are giggling and crying the way women—or at least these women—do.
When Brinley finally lets her go, Hero moves in for a hug. “Glad you’re safe,” he says.
“Me too,” Hannah says back. “What’s the mood here?” She gestures tipping her head up in the direction of the group. I grit my teeth, angry as hell that she asks him when I just fucking told her she’d be fine. But I bite back any comment that’ll end in us fighting.
Hero gives her a look of resignation. “Well,” he says. “The men are pissed; the women are ecstatic to see you alive and breathing. You know every woman here with a man hold his balls in her handbag. They’ll get over it.”
I grab her hand and she tugs her purse from Brinley, draping it around her body as I lead her through the thrum of women and men. She gets hugs and cheek kisses as we pass, though from my brothers, their looks are far from warm. “Knock it off,” I warn.
As we pass Boss and Elise, Elise reaches out her hand to halt us and the change is immediate. Hannah’s face drops from nervous to ashamed as she turns her pained brown eyes on the woman she blames herself for getting kidnapped.
Elise shakes her head once. “No,” she says, knowing full well what that look from Hannah means.
There’s no response from Hannah except for her to pull her arm back from Elise’s touch and press forward through the rest of the group with me right on her heels in protection mode.
Not a man here hasn’t had to fight because of a woman. Hammer sits at the bar with Duke when we walk inside the clubhouse. Hammer’s old lady is leaned in, letting him hold her body weight. She’s stroking his hair. The man’s having a hard time since Drac. I hate that for him. Fuck, I hate it for us.
Caity follows us inside walking up to Duke’s side. She kisses him and gives him a look that I’m pretty sure means ‘be nice,’ then she heads back to where they have us staying.
I stop in front of Hammer and Duke. “What the fuck were you thinkin’, woman?” Duke barks at Hannah.
No. I posture in front of her, ready to throw down with my president if he gets in my woman’s face again.
“Back the fuck up, Blood,” Duke orders. “This ain’t got shit to do with you.”
“Talk to my woman like that again, you and I got problems.”
“If she’d have told us who was after her and what they wanted years ago, none ’a this shit woulda come to pass. Fuckin’ Riot in bed with Escalante. Thought they were just after Hord patches—never imagined… This is on you, woman. Carver dead. Elise kidnapped. My woman had a gun pointed to her head.” Hannah gasps. “Yeah,” he says to her. “After they nabbed you. Thank Christ he knew who my wife belonged to or she mighta ended up sold to some fuck in another country.”
“Take it back,” I warn. “She went on her own. You know it. Wanna get mad at someone, get mad at Caity. But leave Han the fuck alone.”
“She’s out,” Duke orders. “Needs to find new—”
I slam my fist against his jaw, just about busting my knuckles. The man’s got a jaw of steel. “Han’s my old lady. She doesn’t go anywhere. I got my cut, my patch, you and the brothers mean the world to me, but keep this up and I’m out. It ends now.”
Then, pissed as hell, I grab Hannah’s hand, dragging her behind me as I make my way to the room Hammer put me up in. Once we’re inside, I turn on her. “This. This is the shit I’ve been dealing with. Why the fuck did you leave?”
She folds her arms over her chest and cocks her hip, narrowing her eyes at me. “Yell at me like that again and I’m gone, Raif,” she says low and menacingly. “I explained myself already. I had to get to Elise. I was willing to exchange myself to get her back.”
“The fuck? Don’t you ever say that shit. You hear me?”
“It’s true. It was safer for me if the club didn’t know about Escalante. It was safer for the club, too. I guess when Blaze turned…” She lets that thought trail off. “It doesn’t matter now. That part’s done. But I did what I did to protect the people I love. I never asked you to go up against Duke or the club. In fact, I don’t want you to. They’re your family and I’m just…” Fucking great. Tears pour from her eyes.
I tug her over to wrap my arms around her. “Sorry, baby. I had no business taking shit out on you. I’m mad at him. I’m mad at Escalante and even Blaze, a brother we trusted.”
She continues to dampen my cut. I hold her tighter, kissing the top of her head. Finally, she wraps her arms around my back and squeezes. This shit has to end.
“Don’t ever say you’re not my family, Han. I’ve never hidden my feelings from you, baby. You and me, we’ve been family for seven years. You’ve been part of the club family for seven years. Duke’s upset. He’s projecting. We lost Carver. Chaos and Crass were critically wounded, though they’re recovering. All the losses from the Missouri chapter. Not to mention Hero’s, Sneak’s, and Boetcher’s injuries. Shit got real and none of us are handling it the best. There’s so much more at stake now. Wives and kids. It’s fucking scary.”
She sucks in a sharp breath.
“Yeah, baby. I’m your man,” I say. “I’m strong. I can carry anything you need me to, but that don’t mean I’m not scared as fucking shit of the outcome while carrying it.”
“I don’t deserve you,” she whispers.
“Baby, you deserve so much better than me, but I’m who you’re stuck with because I’m not letting you go.”
“Can we go to bed?” she asks.
I set her down on the edge of the mattress to remove her shoes, then sit down next to her to toe off my boots and toss my cut to a chair in the corner. We both strip down from our jeans and climb under the blanket, where I immediately pull her to my side, wrapping my arm around her shoulder to hold her next to me. She shifts, burying her face against my shirt, and I hear the sniffles as my shirt dampens in that spot.
We need to get home. To our bed. Now that she’s mine, we can get a place together. Start making plans for the future instead of trying to outrun the past. I’m bone-deep tired. Han and I lie there in each other’s arms, in our own thoughts, but I’m not sure either of us falls asleep for a good long while.
When I finally wake hours later, it’s to Hannah staring up at me through puffy eyes, her che
ek pressed against my chest. God, she’s beautiful. Even with puffy eyes—the most beautiful woman in the world. She pushes off me, taking in a lungful of air and letting it go slowly. Instinctively my arm snakes around her waist, keeping her close. “Can we go home, Raif?” she asks.
“Yeah, baby. Let’s get some food and head out.” Then I sit up to press a kiss to her forehead.
We pull the rest of our clothing on, our boots and shoes, and Hannah finger-combs her hair. We silently move back out to the common. I’m not in the mood to deal with anyone else’s shit and Hannah might just break if one more person lays guilt on her. There’re brothers up, but it’s not as busy as it was earlier. More importantly, not one of them so much as looks in our direction.
Hero and Brinley sit on a couple of stools like they’ve been waiting for us. “Going now,” he says. “Been waiting on your lazy asses to get up.”
I laugh, shoving at his face. “Hardly got any rest. We were wiped.”
“One of the hot mamas offered to pack us some food,” Brinley says. “It’s weird not being the one in the kitchen.”
“Right?” Hannah says, chuckling. “Your cooking has spoiled me. Everything else is just mediocre.”
“Ain’t that the truth?” Hero says.
“Uh, Han, you know what a damn good cook you are, too, baby,” I answer.
“But I learned it from Brinley.”
“Yeah, but you learned it. That’s all I’m saying.”
The hot mama comes out with a couple paper grocery bags folded down like lunch sacks. We thank her as both Hero and I grab one. Then, after one last look around the room, we head outside to the van.
“I’ll drive,” Hero says. I shrug and toss him the keys. He helps Brinley into the front next to him while Hannah and I climb into the back’s one row of seats. She and I relax, my arm around her waist, her head resting on my shoulder.
Blood Revealed (Brimstone Lords MC Book 6) Page 13
