by K. M. Scott
“Sounds perfect! Just let me know which way to go,” he said as he pressed down on the gas, pushing me back against the seat.
“It’ll be on the right down the road a little ways. It’s called Deston’s.”
He looked downright pleased to hear about the little diner I used to go to as a teenager after high school football games. I didn’t know what he might be expecting, but it certainly wasn’t much compared to the places in the city. I thought about warning him not to get his hopes up too high, but he seemed so thrilled about how I described it that I didn’t want to burst his bubble.
I saw the restaurant’s sign on the side of the road up ahead and pointed to it. “That’s it. Right there. They look open, so we’re in luck.”
“Great! I didn’t eat much breakfast this morning, so there was no way I was making it back to the city without getting something in my stomach. This place looks perfect. Do you think they’ll have pie? I can’t tell you the last time I had pie in a restaurant.”
Although it seemed like a strange question, I thought back to what I remembered about Deston’s and nodded. “They always had pie back when I went here in high school, so you might be in luck.”
He parked the car in an open spot in the half-paved and half-dirt parking lot and grinned like a little boy. “If I can get meatloaf and pie for dessert, I think I might be in heaven at this place. Ready?”
Maybe it was because he had never eaten at Deston’s or maybe it was that I had more times than I could count, but I couldn’t help but laugh at how excited this little diner on the side of the road got him. I’d hoped he wouldn’t think it was a hole in the wall, but that didn’t seem to matter to him.
A woman wearing a black skirt and white blouse with her hair up in a bun greeted us as we walked in and sat us at a table near the window on the left side of the restaurant. Handing us enormous laminated menus, she said with a broad smile, “Your server will be Jenny. Enjoy!”
Ethan looked over the top of his menu and said quietly, “I was wondering if this place was going to be one of those throwback places. You know, with the Formica tables. I think I’m disappointed there’s no red Formica in sight.”
Shaking my head, I knocked my knuckles on the wood table. “Nope. Just plain old wood. I think they’re going for an early modern thing. The whole colonial thing is very big in this part of the country,” I said as I began to skim the menu.
After a few minutes of sitting in silence since we were the only customers in our part of the restaurant, I lowered my menu. “I wonder where the server is. Any idea what you’re going to get?”
He smiled, and it went all the way up to his eyes, lighting up his expression. “They have meatloaf, so I’m set. And I saw a case with pie on the way in too. What about you?”
“I think I’m going to do a club sandwich. If I remember correctly, they were always pretty good here.”
Looking around, he found someone and waved them over. With mischief in his dark eyes, he leaned forward toward me and grinned. “Hopefully this is Jenny.”
It was, and after apologizing for letting us sit there so long, she took our orders and walked away, leaving us alone. Like we had in the car, we didn’t seem to know what to say to one another.
Feeling awkward after a minute or so of silence, I said, “It’s really nice of you to do this for a second weekend, Ethan. I know my sister was very impressed that you agreed to come back next Saturday.”
He gave me a slight smile and asked, “And you?”
“And me what? I’ll come again too.”
“No, I mean were you impressed like your sister?”
His brown eyes stared directly into mine as he sat there waiting for my answer like it meant something to him. Looking down toward the wood table, I said, “Sure, I was impressed too. I know you have a million other things you could be doing on a Saturday.”
“I have nothing better to do. I spends most weekends trying to forget what I do Monday through Friday, so this was a nice change.”
Looking up, my gaze met his and I saw sadness in his expression that made me feel bad for him. “Well, thank you for doing this. I know my sister appreciates it. I do too.”
“I didn’t realize you were such an animal lover. I guess since you didn’t have any pets, I didn’t peg you for one.”
“I couldn’t have any in my apartment, and after that…” My sentence drifted off into silence because I didn’t want to rehash all that had happened regarding my living arrangements. Instead I changed the subject.
“You were pretty good with them yourself. Did you have a cat or dog when you were growing up?” I asked, realizing at that moment I knew very little about Ethan before he came into my life last fall.
“We had a dog, but it was my sisters’ dog, not mine. They found it wandering on the road one day after school, and after we couldn’t find an owner for it, my mother said they could keep it. He was just a mutt. Nothing fancy, but he never liked me much.”
“Well, those shelter animals thought you were pretty great. Not a single one ran away from you or tried to bite you.”
Ethan laughed at my attempt at a compliment. “That’s the litmus test I use for humans too. Anyone who doesn’t run away or doesn’t try to bite me is someone who must like me.”
“Did you have a good time taking pictures again?” I asked, hoping to take advantage of his good mood to encourage him to get back to photography.
His smiled faded a little as he nodded. “It felt good to do it again. I got some pretty incredible shots. I’ll send them to your sister after I take a look at them and clean up any issues so she can post them and hopefully get more people interested in the animals.”
“Thank you, Ethan. Really. There aren’t a lot of people who would give up their time and talent for free like you are. It means a lot to me.”
A pained look crossed his face for a moment, and he said quietly, “It’s the least I can do, Summer. Really, you don’t have to thank me.”
I didn’t know what he meant by that. The least he could do for what? As much as I blamed him for us breaking up, he didn’t owe me anything now. We were just two people co-existing in the world.
That I had to fight my feelings for him every moment he was near me didn’t change that.
We didn’t say much more at the restaurant and our conversation on the two hour ride back to the city consisted of small talk about work and the animals at the shelter. When we got back to the Richmont, I wished we hadn’t broken up because the Ethan Stone I’d fallen in love with before had made me fall in love with him all over again.
Looking over at me, he smiled but I knew it was forced by the way it didn’t go all the way up to his eyes and make them light up like they did when he was truly happy. “I guess I’ll see you at work on Monday.”
“I guess. Thanks again for everything.”
As the sound of car horns honking around us filtered into the car, I thought about inviting him to my room, but I pushed that thought away as the memory of that text replaced it. No matter how much I cared for him, nothing had changed regarding that.
“Thanks, Ethan. Bye.”
I hurried out of the car so I didn’t have to see the look in his eyes I knew was there in them. That look that told me he wanted the same thing I did, even though it would never work.
By the time I reached my room, my emotions were a tangled mess of need and desire and regret. If only I could believe him about that damn text message!
I threw myself onto my bed and took out my phone to send my own text.
Just got back from PA. Ethan took a ton of great shots. He had a good time doing it too. We’re going back next weekend to do more. See you at work.
After I sent it off, I closed my eyes as the thought that maybe I shouldn’t be reporting this back to Tressa crept into my brain. I felt guilty, like I was betraying him. I didn’t have a choice, though. I’d agreed to help him find his way back to photography for Tressa. She’d let me go on the romantic p
art of our deal. She wouldn’t let me out of this part and still let me keep my job at Stone Worldwide.
And that was the hard truth. I needed that job, so if it meant I’d give her details on how the photo shoots with the shelter animals went, so be it.
He had his secrets, and I had mine.
Chapter Twenty
Ethan
Some commercial about Hump Day came on the TV, and I thought about how much I’d hoped to see Summer by this time in the week. Tressa seemed to have her rushing around every minute of the workday planning that party for my mother’s show, so even though I’d watched for her every chance I got, I hadn’t seen her a single time since I dropped her off at the hotel four days ago.
I flipped through all thousand channels and found nothing that could take my mind off her. Was she nowhere to be found at work because Tressa had her running around town on errands for the party, or was she avoiding me?
Or had my sister set her up with some executive type and Summer didn’t even work for Stone Worldwide anymore?
My mind filled with thoughts of her with that stubby handed douchebag. I couldn’t remember his name, but it was probably something like Brett or Brent. Whatever his name was, to me he was simply some douchebag who didn’t deserve Summer.
Not that I had any right to decide who deserved her. I’d proven that in spades already. But that didn’t stop me from hating every one of my sister’s asshole male friends on the chance that any number of them could be circling around Summer like sharks.
Douchebag sharks.
Maybe if I stopped by her hotel room I’d find her alone. I liked that idea. We could talk like we did last time. I missed talking to Summer. I missed everything about her.
Who was I kidding? The same issue that made me not call her after our fight that night was still part of my life, and that wasn’t going to change anytime soon. Missing her didn’t make that go away.
Pacing around my apartment, I began to feel like a caged animal. I needed to get out, but I didn’t want to go to some club to socialize. I wasn’t in the mood to meet people. Hell, I’d barely made it through dealing with Ilsa a couple nights before, and I knew her. She got here all ready for good times, and I kept having to put her off so I could take those damn headshots she wanted me to shoot. She even asked what was wrong with me, like not wanting to sleep with her meant I had some fucking defect.
Maybe I did. I didn’t know anymore. I just knew I had to get the hell out of that apartment before I went out of my mind thinking about Summer.
I knocked lightly on the hotel door and wished that by some happy coincidence Summer would be coming out of her room at that exact moment so I could see her. As the seconds ticked by, that didn’t happen, though, so by the time Diana opened the door, it took everything in me to pretend I was happy to be there.
Happy to be anywhere.
It didn’t take me long to see my sister wasn’t having a good day. I had no idea what had happened, but the sadness in her eyes was evident to even someone as miserable as me.
“Ethan? What are you doing here?” she asked quietly as she stepped back to let me in.
“I just wanted to see my favorite sister. That’s all,” I said, my voice full of fake cheerfulness.
She gave me a tepid smile and closed the door behind me without saying anything about my attempt to be cute. Walking past me, she disappeared into the bathroom as I sat down on the couch and stared at a dark TV.
I was used to Diana’s moods and knew this one wasn’t good. I didn’t know what caused her to sink into the darkness that took her over that night, but I suspected it was the same as usual. Maybe she’d gone out and it hadn’t turned out well. Or maybe she wanted to but couldn’t get the courage to do it herself. She hadn’t called me for help, so it might have been something else too. All I knew was she wasn’t doing any better than I was at that moment.
When she finally came out of the bathroom, I saw she’d taken her hair out of the ponytail she usually wore when she was in the room. She never wore her hair up when she went outside. She was too self-conscious about the scars, even though after all the surgeries they were barely noticeable.
“Daddy came by today and we went shopping,” she announced flatly as if she felt pressured to say something to me.
I hated when she got like this. I knew I had no right to feel that, but I still hated it. I didn’t know what to say to make things better, so I usually sat by helplessly watching her, wishing I could say or do something to make her happy again.
“Want to show me what you got?” I asked as she pushed past my legs to sit down on the couch next to me.
“It’s nothing special. You know. Just the same old stuff. I made the mistake of forgetting to put my hair down, so we weren’t out for long. Daddy wanted to go for lunch, but I told him I wasn’t feeling well, so we came home early.”
So that’s what happened. I thought about my father trying his hardest to make her smile as they were out shopping that day. He probably wore the same disappointed expression he so often had on his face when I was around. The difference, of course, was that he felt more sadness than unhappiness when it came to Diana.
Fuck. No wonder he loved spending time with Tressa so much. She gave him things to smile about.
“Do you want me to run out and get us some dinner? I know it’s a little late, but I can. Or I can get the kitchen to make us something. You know, I’ll throw the Stone name around for good for once and have them whip us up a five-course meal,” I said with a smile, hoping either of my suggestions might cheer her up.
Lowering her head, she mumbled, “I’m not hungry, Ethan. I’m sorry I’m not going to be very good company tonight.”
My heart broke seeing her like this. Pulling her close, I held her and smoothed her hair down her back. “You’re always great company to me. I don’t need to eat anything. We can just sit here together and relax after a long day. How does that sound?”
She rested her head on my chest and curled up against me. After a few minutes, I felt her body shake and looked down to see her crying. I didn’t know what had happened that day, but whatever it was, it had broken her.
“It’s going to be okay. I promise it will,” I whispered.
She shook her head and sniffled. “Why are people so cruel? Why do they think they should ask awful questions when someone is just looking at a rack of dresses? Why, Ethan?”
So that’s what happened. Some ignorant salesperson had noticed the scars on the side of her neck or the faint one on her right cheek near her ear and rudely said something to her about them.
“Because they don’t know any better. They don’t understand how much it hurts. I know. I know it hurts.”
I felt her sigh heavily against me and then start to cry again. “I thought he was nice. He talked to me and smiled and I thought he liked me, but then he saw my neck and asked me what happened like I was some freak or some monster or something. Why did he have to say that?”
Instinctively, I tightened my hold on her as the thought of some guy flirting with her flashed through my mind. Diana didn’t have the kind of experience with men necessary to understand we were basically thoughtless assholes ninety percent of the time. We didn’t mean to say the wrong thing or fuck up. We just did. But where the hell was our father when all of this was happening? He knew better than to let her go off alone.
“I’m sure he was just some ignorant guy. Don’t let what he said bother you. You’re beautiful, Diana. He just didn’t know what to say to someone like you.”
She sat up and pushed her brown hair away from her face to reveal the beautiful blue eyes that never failed to remind me of how innocent she truly was. When I looked in the mirror, I didn’t see the same eyes I saw when I was little, but Diana’s eyes had never changed. They were the same as when she was a girl and the same as they were that night she looked up at me in terror and begged me not to leave as I held her on the side of that road and prayed to God someone would find us.
The sadness in her voice tore me apart. She had no idea how truly beautiful she was.
“Don’t say that. The right man will. Forget about the rest of them anyway. We’re mostly a group of shitheads, and you deserve better than that. You’re strong and smart, and you’re beautiful on the inside and out.”
She shook her head and said sadly, “Ethan, no one is ever going to want someone with so many problems.”
I reached out and moved her hair back off her shoulders. “We’re all fucked up, Diana. Everybody is. So what if you are? That doesn’t mean you’re not beautiful and the sweetest person in the world. That’s what men want. Someone who’s kind and sweet.”
“I’m sorry I’m like this. I don’t want to be, and I know how this makes you feel when I’m like this.”
Her eyes filled with tears at the mention of how this made me feel. After all that had happened, she still worried about how her sadness made me feel.
I pulled her to me and held her close. “The only thing I feel is happy that I can spend time with you. After all you went through, I’m just glad I have that.”
“I’m sorry, Ethan. I didn’t mean to bring up that night,” Diana whispered low against my shoulder. “I don’t blame you for anything.”
She may not have blamed me for what happened, but I blamed me. I always would.
I left my sister’s with my emotions all churned up. Diana was a mess, and no matter what I did, I couldn’t change that. I wanted to more than she could ever know. I just couldn’t.
As I walked down the hall, I didn’t even think about where I was going. Part of me knew where to go, and the rest of me went along. I didn’t think about what might happen. I just let my heart decide what I needed at that moment.
