by C. M. Steele
Even though I know it’s for the best—and one of the main reasons I fought my attraction to Jules—it tears at my heart. “It’s not safe for her. I wouldn’t expect a sweet girl like her to want to deal with such violence. You’re a part of this, and I still worry that something bad could happen to you.”
“I’m cool with this. Unlike Jules,” Roxie reiterates like she wants to pound it into my brain like a power hammer.
“You don’t seem to like her at all, do you?” I question, trying to understand my sister’s motivations.
“I did, until a little while ago when she let her disgust show. You men are incredible, and if she can’t see how amazing you all are, then she’s better off quitting and staying far away from my remarkable brother.” I understand her point of view because I’d crush any fucker’s skull who hurt my little sister, but we’re talking about my Jules here and I don’t like it.
“Tell me how you really feel,” I hiss, hating that my sister hates the woman I’m obsessed with. I love Roxie, but I can’t stand anyone saying anything bad about my girl. “Enough. Let me take you home now. Everything’s all cleared up. It had nothing to do with the cartel, and the fuck is going to jail. Some people just hate cops a lot.”
“Well, that’s semi-good news. Let’s go. I need a good book and some greasy food,” Roxie says, rubbing her belly dramatically.
I chuckle because Roxie can bounce back from any negative mood in a flash if food’s involved. I drop her off and go back to my home. It’s not late, so I have a full day to stew over what Roxie told me and the memory of Jules’s body against mine for a brief moment. I should have stolen a couple more seconds.
“Fuck, this is crazy.” Growling to myself, I go into my forge behind the house and get to work. I have a lot of blades to get started on, projects that will keep me busy for months, so I get to hammering and forging.
Pounding steel all night until my body’s bone-tired, I finally turn everything off and head back into the house. The sky’s full of stars tonight, clear and beautiful. What I wouldn’t give to have Jules in my arms watching them as we enjoy the light breeze with a small fire pit going. This mushy shit the guys have been going through is rubbing off on me, and it needs to stop. I storm into my house, slamming the back door harder than necessary before kicking off my boots and marching into my bedroom. I strip on the way into the bathroom, tossing my clothes into my already-stuffed hamper. “Fuck. I need to do some laundry.”
I twist the shower knob to the right temp before hopping in. The heat feels good against my sore muscles, but then I’m quickly reminded of the way Jules felt so incredible in my flexed arms. My dick jumps because he doesn’t give a fuck that I’m tired or miserable. He wants what I do: Jules’s warm pussy snugly wrapped around my shaft, squeezing all my load out into her young belly and making our babies.
I take my cock in hand, feeling how close I am to unloading just from the slightest mental image of Jules and me. Stroking it from base to tip, I close my eyes and allow all my wicked thoughts of her ample tits in my mouth, hand, and snuggling around my dick to wash over me. I beat my cock hard and fast until I roar out her name, coating the floor and shower wall.
“Shit. You’re a fool. She doesn’t even want you anyway.” I shake my head and wash up before plopping into bed, buck naked and thankfully not rock hard anymore.
***
By the time I have my first cup of coffee in hand, I nearly crack the mug as Jackson uproots my world. “She quit?” I growl into the phone.
He sighs, pitying me. “Yep. Banks told me it’s because it’s too dangerous and she doesn’t want to be around us.” My sister wasn’t exaggerating. Fuck, my chest burns. There’s really no hope for us.
“Damn.” I should have known better. She’d been so out of it after we came in after the attack. Did she see what happened with Penny’s attempted abduction? Does she worry it would happen to her? I’d never let it come to that.
“Jules is nineteen and a freshman in college. Penny told me that you’re crushing on her cousin, so I thought you should know.” Did he have to remind me of the massive age gap?
Penny’s observant for sure, but I don’t want anyone to know that because I’ve no intention of pursuing her. If she’s scared, I won’t have her live in fear because of my selfish love for her. “I’m not crushing. She’s hot, but too young to touch,” I lie. I’d more than touch her if I knew she’d never leave.
“You’re full of it. I’ll see how long you hold out,” Jackson scoffs at me. He doesn’t understand that her feelings and life mean more to me than my own happiness.
"I'm not in love with the girl." Bullshit. I’m way past that.
"Fine. Don't get bent out of shape. I'll talk to you later."
"I'll be forging all day today and tomorrow,” I inform him. I’m not in the mood to play babysitter today. Not when my favorite reason is gone.
"I'll send a text to Boomer." Since I make my own schedule, I’m the one they rely on for extra guard duty, especially for their women.
"I already did."
"Remember to take it easy."
"I'm good. Now go harass your wife." I try to not be jealous of his happiness, but it’s hard as fuck to ignore.
Jackson laughs. "I will. Over and over." I hang up on the prick and toss my phone across the room. It lands hard against the wall and then onto the floor where it cracks. Fuck if I care. I walk over and set my cup in the sink and storm outside to get some work done.
Sweat rolls down my back as I toil away. It's pitch-black out when I finally take a break. I look at the clock and see why. It's already six-thirty. I've been banging my hammer for ten straight hours, arms throbbing, and yet my dick is still hard the second I think about Jules. "Get a grip, Blade. She's not that special."
Even as I say it, I don't believe myself. I take my tired ass inside the house and look for some food in my fridge. I heat up a microwave dinner and then pop down in front of my big-screen television and put on a movie. Gladiator it is. As someone who works with metal, I enjoy the artistry of the pieces in movies like these. It brings me a hint of peace until the epically brutal scene with his family. I turn it off, hating it. Until I met Jules, that scene didn’t bother me. Now, it’s like a punch in the gut.
Now more than ever, I know it's for the best that I keep away from Jules. Danger's lurking around every corner with the cartel and their buddies.
My mind goes to the attack on Mick and Morgan, and I can't let that be my sweet Jules. I take another bite of this fake-ass lasagna but spit it back into the container.
The food tastes like shit, but I'm not sure if it's because I've lost my appetite, or if it's the overly preservative-filled meal that does it. I get up and toss it into the garbage, deciding to work off the anger, lust, and frustration.
I have six clients waiting on their pieces. If I keep up this pace, I'll have them completed well ahead of schedule.
I work for another couple hours until my exhaustion hits me like a bat to the head; I'm done with everything for the day. Tomorrow, I'll pick up where I left off. Pulling out a beer, I guzzle it down and take a shower.
As worn out as I am, sleep doesn’t come to me easily. I spend the night tossing and turning, thinking about my woman. Jules is five feet, three inches of pure sweetness—long, brown hair with light highlights and light brown eyes that almost match mine, except when you get a close enough look to see the flecks of green in them. She’s too perfect for a man like me, a battle-hardened specialist with the conversational skills of a hermit. I want her to the point of insanity, but I don’t deserve her.
Growling and turning over, I punch my pillow and nestle down in an attempt to get a few more winks before my damn alarm goes off.
****
The next time my eyes open, the sun is beaming through my bedroom window. I force myself to get up and get my coffee.
It's nearly eight in the morning when my coffee's finished brewing and my cell phone goes off, which reminds me
—I need to pick up a new one.
"Good morning, Pops. Is something wrong?" My dad never calls this early, especially because it’s freaking cold in Chicago. Staying under the covers always sounds good in the winter.
"Your sister called your mother last night." Of course she did, the little brat.
I roll my eyes while pouring a cup of coffee. "Oh great. What did that girl have to say?" I huff.
"That you have women troubles." Not exactly. It’s one-woman trouble.
"I don't. Your daughter has it in her head that I have a crush on a girl that used to work for the bakery here. She's too young for me, but I told Roxie this several times,” I explain, hoping to get him off my back.
"So you don't like her, or she's too young for you?" Too damn perceptive.
"Okay. I think she's hot, but like I said, I'm not interested because she's barely legal. Now—I'm going into the forge for the rest of the day. I'll be seeing you soon." I can’t deal with this right now.
"Take care of yourself and your crazy sister."
I laugh. "I will, Pops." We hardly have a long conversation, and I'm sure my mother put him up to calling. I'm going to make Roxie pay for that bullshit. Shaking my head, I plan my day out before heading into my workshop.
I managed to finish the first order last night, and the second is nearly there. I have to attach the handle and test if it fits in my hand. The man requesting the piece is about my size, so I have to test it before shipping it to him.
The rest of the day goes the same way it did yesterday. I'm onto the fourth order by the time I call it a night.
Sadly, all this work still hasn't made me tired enough to push Jules out of my mind. Tonight, sleep comes easily, but Jules is in all of my dreams. I don't know how long this will last, but I have to get her out of my head, or drag her back to Steeleville kicking and screaming.
Chapter Three
Blade
It’s been six and a half months since I let Jules run out of my life without even a goodbye. I want to kick my own ass daily for letting her go, but then I think about the fact that she probably forgot about me and I was the one obsessed. It’s all for the best because shit has hit the fucking fan repeatedly. Another attack on our guys and their women: Beast and his wife, Mary, and then the shit that went down with my sister’s man in Vegas. The mess traveling to Steeleville along with Ghost’s wife being a target too—it was just too much.
I run my hands through my short hair, tugging on the small strands. Fuck—I can’t risk Jules’s life like that. It kills me that I have to keep her away, but it’s for the best. I clench my fists several times as I remember that she doesn’t want to be tied to my kind of life; it should be easy for me to push her aside, but in my heart, I know I can’t. It’s been over seven months since we met, and she’s still all I think about. Crystal, Sophia, Grace, and the rest all wanted to be with the guys despite the risks. Jules isn’t the same.
Still, I find myself looking in the mirror, getting ready to see my sweet fascination. Penny’s scheduled to visit her family for Jules’s birthday party, and I promised to drive with them for protection. I can’t say that I’m not going just to get a glimpse of Jules, because I am. Hell, that’s why Jackson asked me. The fucker isn’t blind, even though I’ve done my best to hide my heartache. I miss her more and more, but I can’t justify making her give up her life in Dallas for a life she would resent.
I drive to the bakery where I’m to meet them. Jumping out of my SUV, I see Penny waiting by the door with a cart of treats. “Right on time,” Jackson says, reaching out to shake my hand as I approach.
“You know me.” I shrug.
“Your hair looks cute like that,” Penny says. “That messy, ‘just had sex’ look works for you.” It’s just slightly longer than my normal buzz cut—just enough to be messy.
“Penelope, he is my friend. Don’t make me kill him,” Jackson growls. “Two orgasms this morning, and you’re still thinking about sex.”
“Oh, hush. I’m just saying Blade looks good for my cousin,” she says, tossing me a wink.
“Your cousin doesn’t want anything to do with me, so what would it matter if I look good?” I remind her.
Penny throws her head back like she was slapped. “Doesn’t want anything to do with you? Who fed you that lie?” I’d love to believe her, but I have two people she told separately that she didn’t want our lifestyle.
“The last time I saw her, she gave me the cold shoulder and said I was just a stranger to her.”
“Wow. What did you do to piss her off, then? That’s not like Jules at all.”
“I don’t know. Anyways, it doesn’t matter. Are we ready to go?” I ask, running out of patience. A big part of me longs to see Jules, and another is going to be upset if she’s seeing someone else.
“Yes. Let’s load these bad boys up.” I rub my hands together and open up the back of my truck. I start loading them while Jackson helps Penny into the back seat. She’s about to give birth soon, and it’s starting to show.
Once I get them all in, Jackson runs the cart back inside the bakery and locks it up. I hop into the driver’s seat, and he takes the passenger instead of sitting in the back with Penny. “You can sit back there if you want,” I tell him.
“No, I don’t want you to feel like a chauffeur.”
“Please. Just get in the back where you want to be.” He gives me a sheepish smile as if I’m supposed to be bothered that he wants to sit next to his beautiful, pregnant wife. Once he climbs in beside her and closes the door, I take off out of town, being careful to avoid a lot of bumps. Being around all these women with big baby bellies has taught me that everyone either has to pee often, or that bumps in the road suck for their bladders.
We’re only an hour from their place, so we make small talk and I do all I can to avoid conversation about Jules. I don’t want to know if she’s got a boyfriend because I might run the motherfucker over or put a bullet in his head. We pull up to a large estate and through the gated entrance to a long driveway with about twenty cars lined up along the side.
“I’ll drop you off at the front and then park.”
“They hired a valet for today,” Penny says.
“Okay. Luckily, the guns and knives hidden in the vehicle have a special lock to open the secret compartment.”
“Yep,” Jackson says, nodding while opening his door. We don’t like strangers alone in our vehicles because we always carry a hidden arsenal.
I get out first, heart pounding, hands shaking, ready to see Jules. Jackson steps out of the back and then lends a hand to his wife. I would, but I know he likes to show how much of a gentleman he is to his wife.
“Blade, can you grab the cupcakes?” Penny asks as she adjusts her dress. She is supplying three dozen cupcakes for the party. I take two tray containers and close the trunk. Walking behind them, I wait for the door to open while scoping out the area for trouble. I’m so busy looking for trouble that I don’t notice they already went inside. I reach the top of the grand entrance when I feel someone behind me.
"Hey there, bud. They just let any riff-raff in?" I turn and see a punk-ass man looking up at me. He’s just under five ten with a swimmer’s build, wearing a baby-blue polo shirt and a pair of khaki shorts.
I’m tempted to kick him down the stairs, but instead, I glare at the little bitch. "Excuse the fuck out of me, but who the hell do you think you're talking to?"
He smirks nervously. "I'm just teasing, bud. It's my girl's birthday party." Okay, if I was annoyed with this pompous ass before, I’m livid now.
"Jules is your girl?" I question, wanting to really kick his ass now.
"Yep. Do you need a hand?" he asks, as if I need help.
"Get lost, kid,” I snarl. He has no idea how close I am to snapping his neck with my bare hands. The thought of this fucker touching my Jules sends me into a fit of rage that he’s not prepared for.
"Kid?" I turn and see Jules with her mouth open. God, she looks incre
dible, standing there in a pale blue dress that hugs her breasts and flairs at her waist. She looks like a nineteen-fifties pinup with her hair in pinned-up curls. I want to run my fingers through them as I fuck her on the nearest surface. As I clear my throat to speak, the pencil dick moves right past me.
"Jules, babe. I'm here,” Fuckface says.
"What are you doing here, Brandon?" Her stance isn’t inviting and from her words, I’m guessing he’s full of shit about them being a couple. If he were her boyfriend, she’d want him at her party, but from the expression on her face, that couldn’t be further from the truth. Good—he really needs to get lost.
“Your sister invited me. I even brought you a present.” He gives her a bag from Tiffany’s, and I want to bust his head open even more.
“Well, come on in, then.” She gives him a fake smile that I can read in an instant, but he doesn’t see it. “Are you coming in, Blade?”
“It’s Anthony, Precious.” She blushes before her expression hardens.
“Anthony, come in. I’m sure that Penny’s about to hunt you down,” she huffs, spinning on her heel, leaving her boyfriend and me outside. I smirk at the little fuck because she’s not as indifferent to me as I thought she was. The little punk follows her but stops and turns to me.
“She’s mine,” he says.
I laugh in his face and say, “The fuck she is. She didn’t even invite your bitch ass.” I pause, getting closer so he can read me loud and clear, and then I whisper for just his ears, “Go try to be hard with someone else, because I’ll rip your heart out and feed it to you.” I walk past him and into the house as he stands outside with the color draining from his face.
As soon as I step into the foyer, Penny meets me with her hands on her hips. Her eyes widen when she sees the little bitch Brandon behind me.
“Please bring those over here, Blade.” She leads me to a large display table full of snacks and treats. I set them on the table and then let her do her magic. Stepping away, I look for Jules. She’s busy speaking to Mr. Banks, but as I approach, she’s pulled from him by an older woman who I presume is her mother or another relative.
