by Maggie Thom
Often she went on her gut instinct whether someone was ready to enter the inner circle. The one thing she’d promised herself was she wouldn’t perform background checks unless she had a hunch something was off. She really wanted to help the women heal. That truly was her goal but not her only one. A moment of guilt had her stop what she was doing. She did want to help these women. She knew what it felt like to be alone, with no one who understood; but the truth was she really did have an ulterior motive. Her hope was that someone could shed light on what had happened to her three years before. Seven days of her life were gone but she had no idea what had happened.
As she glanced at her son, fear attacked her like a snake baring its poisonous fangs inches from her face. She had to keep him safe.
When she allowed herself to consider what had happened to her, she convulsed as though she was having a seizure. The world faded in and out of focus. Her whole body tensed and again for the hundredth time she wondered why she’d let herself sink so low. But she knew why. He’d been an escape—or at least, she’d thought he would be. Stephen was tall, blonde and sexy as hell. He’d been so charming in the beginning—flowers, gifts, diamonds—whatever he’d thought she needed or deserved. For over a year he’d tried everything to get her to go out with him. Finally, she’d given in. It had been so flattering to have someone pamper her. He’d been so attentive and nice. Then her life had changed. After the lost week she couldn’t recall, she’d been more frightened than she’d wanted to admit. She’d needed a change quickly and he’d been her answer. He’d been thrilled when she finally said yes to his proposal; only she’d gone from one nightmare to another.
He’d had the swagger, the smile, the charm and beneath it all she’d discovered he was as plastic as a Ken doll. She had really wanted it to work. She’d tried and in the beginning, she liked to think that she’d felt something for him. Now almost two and a half years later, she knew it was all a sham. He was a reminder of her world, the one she really had wanted to leave behind—the wealth, the greed—everything centered around money and the cold pursuit of power.
Since she’d disappointed her dad so many times, she’d thought by landing Stephen, the son of the owner of Welton, a huge international oilfield company, she’d redeemed herself. The joke had been on her. Her father hadn’t taken her call nor returned it. She wasn’t sure she could ever forgive him. He’d sided against her through the whole situation when she’d been lost and alone, berating her for her behavior. Though he hadn’t known the entire story, only that someone had attacked her, he blamed her for being victimized. He hadn’t wanted details. He’d made her feel as if she was lower than the dirt beneath his feet. Family had meant nothing to him.
From a young age, she’d seen his disdain for family in the way he’d treated his own father, her grandfather. She’d never met him but was sickened by the ruthless way in which her father had tried to ruin him. She’d never understood why he hated his own father so much. The media always portrayed him as a good, kind person, so different from the man she’d never been allowed to call dad. She hoped one day she’d get to meet her grandfather and find out for herself—but that was assuming he’d want to meet her. Or maybe her father didn’t really fall far from the tree and had learned all he knew at his knee.
Her wedding ring’s large diamond flashed in the afternoon sunshine that filtered through her window. It was as though it had winked at her, telling her the joke was on her. In truth, her dad’s ignoring her had been a blessing. If he’d have approved of her marriage, she might never have found the guts to plan to leave Stephen.
In the beginning, Chance had taken all her energy, her attention. He’d been a miracle, not one she understood but nonetheless, one for whom she took full responsibility—and one she promised to love and protect. That reminded her it was time to put in an appearance and put away Chance’s scattered toys before it became an issue. Since her son was sitting quietly in the corner, she decided to briefly step away.
A quick look around revealed an apartment that was sparkling clean, void of any indication a child lived there. Except for a few toys in her office and ones in the living room she hadn’t had time to put away, there was really no sign of life in this house. There were no fingerprints, no colors other than black, chrome and clear glass, definitely no life. Some people saw it as classy and sophisticated but she saw it for what it really was: shallow and all show. Just like her husband.
She wanted out and out now. The reality of what she had been doing to herself and to Chance made her shudder, though she worked hard to make sure it didn’t show on the outside.
As she entered the living room, Stephen came out of the kitchen. “Did you get my suit pressed?”
“Yes. It’s hanging in the closet still in the plastic.”
“Good. Make sure my shoes are polished.”
“Why don’t you do it yourself?”
“What? Did you say something?”
“I’m sorry. I’m exhausted.”
“My promotion party is the end of next week. Get some sleep before then. Be ready by 5:00 p.m. on that Friday.”
“Right, you want me to get into my hot slinky number and sit quietly by the door awaiting your arrival?”
“No. I’ll be home before that.”
He leered at her and she turned away, pretending ignorance.
“I got you a new Ruby Jane necklace that will look stunning with the hot black number.” His eyes crawled down over her physique as though she was his masterpiece. “You will be perfect. Men will drool.”
Oh yes, let’s be the envy of every male there.
He started walking across the room toward her. She was trying to think of distracting distraction for his one-track mind when he resolved it for her.
“Ouch, Jesus. What did I tell you about his damn toys?” He kicked viciously, sending the castle and walls the two of them had spent all afternoon building flying in all directions.
“Steve!” That barely got her a glance as he marched across the living room to sit in his leather and chrome chair. Usually he’d have reminded her that he preferred to be called Stephen.
She looked at Chance, who had come up behind her and was clinging to the back of her leg. His eyes were full of tears and his bottom lip was sticking out. The pain that zapped through her heart dropped her to her knees. She gathered him to her, picked him up and went down the hallway to his bedroom.
“Oh, baby. I’m so sorry.”
“Mad.”
“Oh honey. He’s—” a jerk. Not something she could tell a two-year-old. “Not your fault.”
“Sorry, Mommy.”
That was it. The tears flowed like a river bursting free of a dam. She hugged her son tight to her chest, not wanting him to see her cry, but when she felt his little body convulse with sobs as well, she knew he’d seen through her masquerade. She worked hard to stem her emotions; her son was already carrying too much guilt for someone so young. He snuggled against her. His tiny arms held her with a strangling hold that served to remind her all the more how fragile her beautiful boy was. Yet she felt so connected and so loved in that moment, she realized how strong he was as well.
It was time for her to do right by him. She held him with tenderness but there was an underlying desperation that one day he could be ripped from her arms, gone forever. Her heart felt as though it was being crushed by the weight of her mistakes; those things she’d ignored for too long. Her body convulsed as nothing was going to stop the tidal wave of emotion. At some point, she must have fallen asleep for the next thing she knew she was being shaken awake.
“Are you coming to bed?”
She blinked a few times as she looked into those blue eyes that had first sucked her in. Revulsion was all she felt now.
“No. I’m fine here.”
“I want you in our bed. Now.”
She wanted to scream in defiance but knew he’d take it out on Chance. “Give me a minute.”
“Don’t make me come back he
re.”
She waited until he’d left before gently untangling herself from her son. She pulled his snuggly, soft bear blanket over him, gently kissing his forehead. “A few more nights, baby and that’s it. I promise you,” she whispered.
She’d learned so much the hard way. A snob would have looked like a social butterfly next to her husband. She had made some stupid mistakes but he’d been a colossal one. He’d been so easy in the beginning to hang out with; to lean on. He was someone she was familiar with, stoic, professional, focused on his career, really only needing her to praise him and serve as eye candy, which she’d done and then some.
Slowly trudging down the hall, the dread of what she was doing crawled over her like molasses that was sucking her into the depths of a big vat. At their bedroom, she hesitated before entering but knew that wouldn’t prevent anything. Knowing this had to be the performance of her life, she squared her shoulders, tossed her braid over her shoulder and focused on when they’d first met, when he’d first meant something to her.
Stripping off her clothes, she crawled into bed. His body was so still that she prayed it meant he was sound asleep. A few seconds later, she knew her prayers weren’t being answered. Without any foreplay, he jammed himself between her legs. She grunted in pain but other than that she didn’t move, didn’t make a sound. When he was done, she felt bruised and battered and dirtier than if she’d been beaten and dropped in a mud hole.
“Oh, god. That was awesome. Thanks.” He rolled over and was soon snoring like an old, misfiring vacuum cleaner.
For several minutes she lay there shivering, her fists clenched, her mind blank. Slowly she climbed out and went down the hall to the guest bathroom. She turned the shower on hot and scrubbed her body until it was raw.
Never again. Never again.
Chapter Five
Tarin had never been so glad to see 5:00 a.m. Stephen was out the door almost to the second the clock struck that hour. Just like every morning, off to the gym, shower and then to the office. Not that she cared but on this day she was more than grateful. The minute she heard the door close and lock, she flew out of bed. She pulled out her suitcase and quickly stuffed in the clothes she wanted. The closet full of long, flowing dresses made her pause; was there any way she could sell those and get some money? It seemed wrong to leave them, not because she’d ever wear them again but because she didn’t want him to have the satisfaction of having them.
The long, plastic-covered gown she hadn’t yet seen hung on the corner of the door. Grabbing it, she laid it on the bed and slowly stripped off the protection. She gasped as it was unveiled. The material was exquisite and she knew it would feel like delicate rose petals brushing over her body but what grabbed her attention was the plunging neckline, front and back. If she were to guess, her belly button would be bare in front and damn near the crack of her butt in back. She held it up. Light was visible through it. It was almost see-through.
“That bas—” She couldn’t believe it. It was similar to what he liked her to wear when they went out—slinky, tight. This one, though, was a lot more revealing and daring, something she would never wear. She wondered if he really did have that promotion or if this was how he thought he’d get it.
In the drawer beside the bed was a pair of scissors, and she stared at them long and hard, unable to believe what she was contemplating. She opened and closed them a few times, finding that she liked the sharp, slicing sound they made. Picking up the dress, she carefully separated the scissor blades and inserted them in the plunging neckline and cut downwards. Then from the bottom she randomly attacked it, slicing upwards to different heights. It wasn’t until a chunk of it flew past her head that she realized what she was doing and what she had done. Her eyes opened wide as she stared in horror at the shreds of material that looked like unwoven threads hanging there. Setting what was left on the blazing red silk comforter she hated, she plunged the scissors through all of it: the dress remains, the comforter, the eight hundred thread count bed sheets and the memory-foam-movement-isolation bed.
She blinked a few times as she looked at what she’d done. Her shoulders sagged in defeat as she realized she had given in to her basic urge—anger, albeit one she’d been suppressing for too long... obviously. Her father’s disappointment immediately came to mind. If he’d been a witness to her display of emotions, he wouldn’t have been able to look her in the face because she’d lowered herself.
Slapping her palms to her cheeks, she pressed hard to force the memories and the guilt to recede. She knew she’d never be able to please the man who’d fathered her, one of the reasons she was in this predicament. She turned her back on the mess. It truly made her sick to think she’d acted that way. And it scared her that she’d lost control. Realizing with a start that time was of the essence, she pushed it away.
On her dresser were three ornately carved jewelry boxes, each loaded with whatever baubles Stephen felt she should wear that week. Grabbing each one, she dumped them into a leather duffel bag. She thought about all the other ones, the more expensive ones he had locked in the safe. They were worth more but she’d never opened the locked compartment and wasn’t sure what kind of security measures he might have employed. What she had taken already should bring at least forty thousand dollars—or so she hoped. She was planning to pay cash for everything, at least for a while.
Fifteen minutes later, she was sure she’d taken all that would help her get some quick money. She was about to close her suitcase when she looked at the closet again. All the clothes she was leaving were worth thousands, if not hundreds of thousands. She hated to leave them for Stephen as he saw them as trophies. Without her in them though, they might not hold the same appeal. Since she had no use for them, she zipped everything and hauled her bags to the front door.
She quickly logged onto her computer, checking for anything important. It might be several days before she was able to log back on. Her future was a mystery. After checking her website and her emails and dealing with a few things, she was tempted to hack Stephen’s account but the few times she had, there hadn’t been anything in there, other than some love letters from his girlfriend, the one he didn’t think she knew about.
He was arrogant enough that he thought he was better than others but it didn’t mean he wasn’t cautious. It dawned on her that she really didn’t know the man she’d married; a fact she’d discovered almost from the moment she said her vows. As soon as the ring was on her finger, he’d hustled her out the door to a swanky hotel for a twenty-four-hour marathon of sex. When he’d finally let her get up, he’d thrown out her whole wardrobe and bought her a brand new one. It hadn’t mattered if she’d liked it.
He’d changed from a sweet, attentive guy, to a demanding, self-centered man. Even with that attitude, some of what he’d been doing had shocked even her. It seemed he’d been selling some of his father’s company secrets. She had no idea what he was really capable of but for a while he’d been a safe haven. It had been nice for the first few months not to have to think, simply to exist. And then there’d been Chance. He’d become her world. She could put up with anything as long as she got to spend her days with him. It was when she realized that Stephen was dictating those moments with her son as well that she knew she had to get out.
A sense of urgency came over her. He’d left an hour before but what if he came back? What if he’d forgotten something? It had never happened before but she knew it could. He had surprised her some days coming home early. She was not going to take the chance that it would be that day when he decided to take time off. Running to her son’s room, she gathered everything—toys, stuffed animals, pictures—that had meaning to him, along with some clothes. Then she awakened him.
Thankfully, the memory from Stephen’s callous behavior did not seem to have any lingering effects. She’d kept Chance away from Stephen for the last few days, which had not been an easy feat.
Chance’s eyes opened, full of the sleepy wonder and then he smiled at he
r and held out his arms. A smile tugged at her heart as she picked him up and hugged him. The feeling was so right and so intense, she would be more than happy to stay like that for the rest of her life.
Right now though, it was time to get moving.
“Okay bud. We’ve got a big, fun day ahead of us. I need you to get dressed and then we’re going on an adventure.”
As only children can, he went from barely being awake to fired up and ready to play. She swung him into the air. He giggled. The sound was so refreshing and filled her with so much joy, it reminded her of what was really important. His coming into this world might not have been under the best of circumstances but she wouldn’t give him up for anything. She would protect him with her life, which ironically, was what it felt like. She didn’t know if Stephen would make an issue of finding him; she couldn’t see why he would, as he’d never shown an ounce of love or compassion for Chance. In fact, he’d barely even acknowledged him. There was no way she was going to let Stephen have any kind of influence on her son. The thought of Chance turning out like Stephen made her shudder.
No doubt, leaving him wouldn’t go over well but she hoped he’d quickly move on. He seemed completely absorbed by only those things that brought him money or power. It made her wonder again why he had married her. She had a hunch that although he had not wanted to know about her background or meet her family, somehow he knew. Had he known she was the daughter of a hotel magnate? If he had, why hadn’t he used it? Or had he? She’d have guessed love but he dispelled that idea not long after they were married when he let her know she was to be at his beck and call. He was using her for more than eye candy, but she couldn’t figure out for what.
Chance wiggled, snapping her back to the present. She got him cleaned up and was walking to the kitchen with him when her cell phone chimed. She stopped so suddenly she actually jolted her whole body. Fear crawled up her spine and wrapped around her neck, making swallowing almost impossible.
