by Raven Snow
“Where have you been all day?”
Lady jumped, nearly dropping the crystal wind chimes she was trying to box as miscellaneous. It was Otsuya at the door. She exhaled slowly. “Geez, you scared me.”
“Sorry.” Otsuya leaned against the doorframe. She was already dressed in her usual pajamas, a pair of cloth jeans and a t-shirt. “So, where’d you run off to?”
“I didn’t run off anywhere.” Lady turned back to her work. “I was dragged out. Ms. Poole made me go to a funeral, remember?”
“A funeral?” Otsuya repeated. “Who died?”
Lady looked back to Otsuya with a frown. “Who…? Lucette, remember? Lucette Antonie? You seemed to know more about her than I did.”
Otsuya’s brow furrowed and then suddenly she rolled her eyes. “Oooh, right.” She shook her head. “Geez, I don’t know how I forgot about that.” She came the rest of the way into the room and sat down cross-legged on the floor. “So? How did it go? Oh! Did anyone get any pictures of you dressed like Ms. Poole? I can’t believe I missed that.”
“They better not have,” Lady muttered. “And, I dunno, the funeral was definitely weird. There were so many people there hoping they inherited something. A lot of them got turned away.”
“Can you turn people away from a funeral?”
“You can if the funeral home is over-capacity, I guess.”
“Yeah, I guess that would do it. You guys got in, though?”
“Unfortunately. Ms. Poole was on, like, a short list or something. Like the place was a hip nightclub.”
“That makes sense. A witch would definitely want other witches at her funeral, even if they didn’t like her. It’s probably a respect thing.”
“Well, Ms. Poole wasn’t exactly respectful. It was embarrassing to be sitting by her if I’m being honest.”
That last part got a laugh from Otsuya. “Oh, man. That sounds fun. I wish I could have been there.”
“None of that is the weirdest part, though.”
“Oh, yeah?” Otsuya leaned forward, intrigued.
“Yeah.” Lady had to pause and think of how best to word the next part. “Lucette, she… She, um, left everything to whoever figures out who murdered her.”
Otsuya stared at Lady wordlessly for a few seconds. A grin spread slowly across her face. “What?!” she exclaimed. “You have to be kidding me! Really?!”
“Really, really.”
“That’s crazy! Did the police say she was murdered?”
Lady shook her head. “I think it was decided it was heart failure while she slept.”
“I guess they’ll have to exhume her and check again, huh?”
“I guess. I don’t really know how this stuff works.”
“Crazy.” Otsuya was still smiling. “Well, you know what this means.”
“No,” said Lady, even though she had a pretty good idea of what Otsuya was about to suggest. “What does it mean?”
“It means we have to figure out who murdered her!” Otsuya gave Lady a look like she was an idiot. “We could split the money fifty-fifty.”
Lady considered the offer. “I dunno. Ms. Poole seems pretty against it.”
“You’re telling me you don’t want to look into this? It could make us rich.”
Lady did like the idea of being rich. “I’m not saying I don’t want to. It’s more like I’m afraid Ms. Poole will give me more busy work if she decides I’m wasting my time.” Lady held up a finger before Otsuya could respond. Something had just occurred to her, and she needed to flesh it out a little before she spoke it. “Maybe if we added Crispin to our little detective group… Maybe Ms. Poole would be fine with that.”
Otsuya wrinkled her nose. “Crispin? Why him?”
“He was at the funeral. He mentioned he needed the money for his library. Ms. Poole changed her tune after that. Maybe if we tell her part of the proceeds are going to the library, she’ll cave.”
“Ah, I see what you’re getting at.” Otsuya nodded sagely. “We say we’re helping Crispin… And then we don’t! We keep all the money for ourselves.”
“What? No!” Lady threw a rag doll at Otsuya’s face. “Crispin is nice. We like him. He needs money for his library.”
“That he never lets me use.”
“Because you steal books from it! If we find the money and split it three ways, you’ll have enough money to buy all the books you want.”
Otsuya huffed. “I guess… I don’t like the idea of splitting a round sum three ways, though.”
“We’ll sort something out,” Lady assured. “Besides, we probably won’t find anything anyway. Destiny and Ms. Poole both insisted she put that in her will just to stir up drama and be remembered a little longer.”
“Come on. Don’t give up already. Stay positive!”
“Is hoping someone got murdered really staying positive?”
“It is if you stand to make a lot of money from it!”
***
Lady broke her plan to Ms. Poole after dinner. She browbeat Lady for a while but finally gave up. “Fine,” she relented. “I’m sure Crispin would appreciate it and it’ll do Otsuya some good to get fresh air. This is all on your own time, though. Are you okay with that?”
Lady had shrugged. “Sure, I mean, it’s not like I have much else to do in my down time.” She got Crispin’s personal phone number from Ms. Poole and retired to her room for the night. She lounged back in bed, Lion stretched across her torso and purred. For a minute or two she just stared at the face of her phone. She had never called Crispin before. She had never even given it much thought, but now? Now it felt kind of weird. Lady wasn’t one to lie to herself. She liked him. He was cute. Did he know that? Sure, he was soft around the middle and a bit of a dork, but she liked that. It was endearing. She wouldn’t mind dating him, but she wasn’t sure she’d known him long enough to ask him out. Asking too soon might ruin everything. She might even lose him as a friend. She didn’t have many people she could rightly say she knew around town. Maybe calling Crispin a friend was premature. If that was the case then asking him out was super premature.
Lady sighed and took a deep breath. This was stupid. She was getting too far ahead of herself. She pushed her worry down and called the number Ms. Poole had given her.
It took a few rings for Crispin to answer. “Hello?” he said with a yawn.
“Oh, no. I didn’t wake you up, did I?”
“What?” Crispin sounded drowsy and more than a little disoriented. “Oh.” Lady heard him take a deep breath like he was making a point to sound more together than he was. “No! Of course not. It’s only… ten thirty.”
Lady lowered her phone long enough to look at its clock. God, it was about ten-thirty. Why hadn’t she realized that? Why did she assume that everyone was like her and no one went to bed before midnight? “I’m so sorry.” She apologized all in a rush. “I didn’t realize what time it was.” That was a lie. She had probably glimpsed what time it was but thought nothing of it because she didn’t consider ten to be late.
“It’s fine. I wasn’t asleep.” That also sounded like a lie, but Lady didn’t argue with him. “What’s, uh, what’s going on?”
“It’s, uh… It’s Lady. Your aunt gave me your number; I hope that’s all right.”
“Yeah. Sure. It’s fine.”
“I was just calling because… Well, Otsuya and I were talking. I told her about everything that happened at the funeral, and she really wants to try and figure all this stuff out. She seems to think it’s worth a shot.”
“Oh. I guess you’re going to try with her?”
“I told her I would, but I also suggested that you join the team. We’ll be able to cover more ground that way. That’ll give you a better chance to get some money for your library, right? You’ll be busy part of the day, and I’ll be busy part of the day… It’s all just better odds like this, right?”
For several terribly long seconds there was silence on the other end of the phone. Lady worried Crispin wa
s trying to come up with a way to let her down gently. Either that or he had fallen asleep again. “You’d do that for me?” Crispin asked, sounding a little uncertain.
“Yeah!” Lady swallowed and lowered her voice. “I mean, sure. Obviously. I’m also doing this because I want a cut of the money.”
“Right,” Crispin added so quickly he seemed a little embarrassed.
“But, I mean, I want your library to get the funding it needs. And you seem smart. I really think this is the best option for everyone.”
“Is Otsuya okay with it?”
“Sure, why wouldn’t she be?”
This time the silence on the other end of the line stretched out for a while. It didn’t seem like Crispin planned on deigning that with a response. Despite Otsuya donating books to the library at one point in time, they weren’t exactly the best of friends now.
“Okay, she might have been a little reluctant at first,” Lady admitted. “But she came around quick! She thinks it’s a good idea.”
“Really?”
“I promise.”
“Well… I was thinking of looking into it myself. I know it’s probably stupid. Destiny and Ms. Poole are probably right. There’s probably nothing out there to find.” Crispin sighed. “But… sure. I like the sound of forming an alliance for this. It’s practical and it’ll make me feel less silly. I’ll just have to make sure I have people who can cover the library without me for a little while.”
“Do you want to meet in the morning?” Lady asked. “Ms. Poole said I could have part of the day off to help, so… Tomorrow morning okay?”
Crispin was silent for another few moments. “That… might work out. I’ll give you a call back if it won’t. Just swing by the library any time after eight.”
Lady wasn’t planning on waking up quite that early. “Sounds good!” she said regardless. “I’ll see you then!” Lady hung up before she realized that Crispin had also said it might not work out. God, why was she being so awkward? She tossed her phone down on the mattress and looked at the cat stretched out across her. “Do I have game, Lion?”
Lion opened his eyes and regarded Lady with an unimpressed expression. Some people might have said animals didn’t make expressions, but Lady was pretty sure they did. Lion was judging her. She could feel it.
“Whatever. I’m going to bed. Gotta get an early start tomorrow.”
Despite Lady’s better efforts, she ended up getting less sleep than she would have, had she stayed up. She spent the night tossing and turning. Every time she glanced at the clock, she became even more restless. The sun was coming up outside her window before she finally fell asleep. That was it. She didn’t stay up too late. It was the rest of the world that was wrong. Those were the last thoughts that came to her before she drifted off.
Chapter Five
Lady was woken up in the middle of the dream. In the dream, she had been sleeping under the stars, stretched out in the grass with Lion beside her. It might have sounded like a boring dream to most, but Lady had found it relaxing. What wasn’t relaxing was Otsuya rousing her from that dream by jumping onto the mattress. “What! What the-” Lady sat straight up in bed. Lion had most likely already been startled by Otsuya. Lady sitting up startled him a second time. He leapt from the bed and scrambled from the room. Lady could hear his nails slipping and sliding to try and find his footing.
“Good morning!” Otsuya sang. She was sitting on her knees, bouncing up and down so that the mattress shook. It was a surefire way to make sure Lady stayed awake.
“Why couldn’t you wake me up like a normal person?” Lady put a hand in Otsuya’s face and tried to shove her off the bed.
“Hey!” Otsuya swatted at Lady’s hand. “I did try to wake you normally. I said your name and then I shook you gently by the shoulder and then I jumped on your bed. It escalated slowly.”
“Doesn’t sound like it to me,” Lady grumbled. It did sound like she had been fast asleep though. Maybe it was because she had been talking in her sleep. “What time is it?”
“Nine-thirty.”
After what she had told Crispin, nine-thirty was probably a good time to get up. “Fine. Go get dressed.”
Otsuya looked down at what she was wearing. Lady had assumed it was a pastel-colored nightgown, but it might have been a romper. Emphasis on the “might.” “I am dressed.”
Lady tried to pretend she didn’t see the hurt look on Otsuya’s face. “All right, well, get out of here so I can get dressed then. Do you mind feeding Lion for me? It’ll save time.”
“Not a problem.” Otsuya bounced off the bed and headed for the door. “Lion!” she called as soon as she closed it.
Lady rolled her eyes and went to the old chest of drawers she had picked up from next to the trash cans at the end of someone’s driveway. It was about as nice as you would imagine a roadside chest of drawers to be. It was missing one drawer and there were gouges and cup rings all over the top. It still served its purpose well enough. Someday she would find herself better furniture that actually had to be paid for. That day was not today, but maybe it was on the horizon if Lucette Antonie had actually been murdered.
Lady had bought some clothes from a local thrift shop. She couldn’t go her whole life living off of three outfits, and she would rather not wear the Ms. Poole clothes ever again. From the drawer, she chose a pair of jeans that didn’t fit her quite right. All thrift store jeans seemed to be ragged and stretched out by years of use covering someone else’s butt. She next pulled out a black t-shirt emblazoned with the logo of a bar she had never been to. Lady had always been a t-shirt kind of gal when the option arose.
She had put on a bra and was reaching to pull the t-shirt over her head when something occurred to her. If she wanted to pick up Crispin, she needed to actually try. What did a shapeless t-shirt say about her? That her fashion tastes hadn’t changed since she was a high school kid frequenting concerts? Because that was the truth. It hadn’t.
Lady opened up her drawer again and surveyed her tops. There. She pulled out a clingy black tank top. She had a rather willowy build. Her foster mother was always trying to put her in gauzy sun dresses. “You’re just so thankless, hiding the body God gave you under those baggy t-shirts. I had a body like that once and I was beating the boys off with a stick.” Lady wasn’t sure how concerned God was with her sex appeal, but a tight tank top felt like a good compromise.
After that, Lady got herself ready quick. She pulled on some sneakers and brushed her teeth. The whole while Otsuya was sitting on the floor by Lion. He had finished his breakfast and was sitting in her lap. She was a sucker for him and never refused to pay him attention. He wasn’t shy about taking advantage of that. “You ready?” asked Lady. She had her blond hair pulled back in a ponytail and her tote bag on her shoulder.
“Yep.” Otsuya stood, loading Lion into her arms as she did so. “Is this good boy coming with us?”
Lady looked at Lion, considering him. “I mean, I’m not sure he needs to.”
Lion jumped out of Otsuya’s arms and ran to his owner. Lady leaned down to intercept him, but as soon as she picked him up he was scrambling into her tote bag. Lady sighed. Really?
“Aww,” Otsuya cooed. “He’s so smart. Isn’t he so smart?”
“Too smart for his own good,” Lady grumbled. “Fine! You can come with us.” Lady said her goodbyes to Ms. Poole and selected a muffin from the breakfast spread. It would be easy to eat that on the way. Ms. Poole reminded her once again how foolish she thought the whole thing was, and then Lady was on her way.
Of course, she didn’t have a car. Otsuya didn’t either, so the whole journey to the library was made on foot. It was just as long as she remembered. “I should have brought something to drink,” she complained, panting and sweating in the heat.
Otsuya only shrugged. “I’m all right.”
“Well, I’m very happy for you.”
“Thanks!”
Lady sighed long and loud, stretching her arms over her
head and arching her spine to pop her back as she walked. “I don’t know why I’m even doing this. I’m gonna be exhausted when I get home. I’m sure Ms. Poole still has plenty of chores for me to do today.” It took Lady a moment to realize Otsuya was looking at her. There was an impish smile on her round face. “What?”
“You called the inn home. I like that.” Otsuya went on talking before Lady could try and take her words back. “And you’re doing this because you want to be rich. Who doesn’t? Plus, I’ll help you with stuff when we get back home. I don’t have anything to do tonight.”
Lady had an objection on her lips to most of what Otsuya had just said, but she bit it back. “Thanks. I’d appreciate that.”
“No problem. What are friends for?”
Lady felt a pang in her chest at that. She reached out and pulled Otsuya into a quick side hug. As often as she annoyed her, she did like Otsuya. She had gone most of her life without friends. She hadn’t been in Dark Lake long and now she, ostensibly, had several. As much as she liked to complain, life really wasn’t all that bad.
***
Life felt bad again by the time they got to the library. Lady shouldn’t have bothered with makeup. Given the amount of times she had reached up and wiped it away, much of it had surely rubbed off. Either that or it had dripped off. She probably looked like an over-emotional drag queen at this point. She was also regretting the tank top. There wasn’t enough antiperspirant in the world to keep her from excreting visible pit stains. Otsuya had taken care to point out that they were very clearly visible. She wasn’t sure a t-shirt would have served any better, but she might be slightly less paranoid that she smelled terrible.
“Why aren’t you dripping sweat?” Lady asked Otsuya as she trudged the last block.
“I don’t sweat,” Otsuya said simply.
