Her breath caught. She stared at him, not saying anything. Husband? Father? He’d said he loved her but she hadn’t been quite sure what that meant for the future.
“Was-was that a proposal?” What was happening?
“No, that wasn’t a proposal.”
She blushed. “Oh.” How had she gotten that wrong? How mortifying.
“If I ask a question it means you might say no. I’m not going to risk that.”
The words took a while to penetrate. “So you’re saying—”
“I’m saying that you’re going to marry me, Aspen. And that Jamie and Caleb will be my sons. I’m going to adopt them, and they’re going to have my name. I won’t have them feeling slighted when we have other children. They’re going to be just as much mine as yours.”
“I-I—”
He looked away and she saw him swallow. “Unless I’ve read the situation wrong and you don’t want—”
“I do,” she blurted out. She had to stop him. Had to make that clear. “I mean, yes, I want to marry you. I love you, so much.” Tears dripped down her face and he wiped them away.
“Thank Christ.” He leaned in and kissed her, hard and hot, until they were both breathless.
When he drew back, she looked up at him in wonder. “I can’t believe you really want me.”
“Why wouldn’t I? You’re smart, funny, beautiful, courageous, you’re an amazing mom, and a giving and caring submissive.”
“I just find it hard to believe you want me. The girl from the wrong side of the tracks with the mother who whored herself for gambling money.”
“Well, I love that girl. And where she came from isn’t all that she is. Your past shaped you into the wonderful, giving, generous woman you’ve become. And so many people can see that. I just wish you could.”
“I’m beginning to. Through your eyes.”
“Then it’s settled, you’re going to be my wife. We’ll get married next month.”
She gasped and sat up. “We will not! I can’t organize a wedding in a month. We’ll get married next spring.”
He sighed. “What happened to my very obedient sub?”
She giggled. “She’s going to become your somewhat obedient sub but not very obedient wife.”
“What have I gotten myself into?” He loved listening to her laugh. “Are you happy, sprite?”
“Well, almost.”
“Only almost?”
“I really, really do need to go to the bathroom. Please, Sir?”
After using the bathroom, she walked back into the bedroom. Thank God, he’d removed the chastity belt, along with all the tickler, plug and dildo. She was exhausted, spent and, yet, for some crazy reason, she was still aroused. Hadn’t she come enough tonight? She could barely walk for God’s sake. At least he’d let her go to the bathroom alone. That would have been embarrassing if he’d insisted on helping her.
He loved her.
He wanted to marry her.
Was she dreaming? Was she delusional? And was he going to put her back in that belt?
He was lying on the bed naked. There was no chastity belt or plug or tickler in sight.
Thank God.
She stopped at the base of the bed, not knowing what he wanted from her. Uncertainty filled her.
“Joel?”
“Yes, sprite?”
“You really want to marry me?”
He opened his arms and she flew across the mattress to land on him.
“Aspen Lane, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife? Will you be the mother to my children, the two we have and any more that come along? Will you love me, cherish me, obey, and submit to me for the rest of our days?”
Tears dripped down her face. “Yes. I love you.”
“I love you too. Always. And if you ever have doubts you only have to remember this, you taught me that I am worthy of having a family. You did that. No one else. You and those boys make me want to be a better person, someone worthy of your love.”
“You are. I can’t believe you ever thought you weren’t. And just so you know, you are the only person who doesn’t believe you’re a good guy. I see that heart you try to hide, and so does everyone else who knows you.”
“Not everyone.” Something dark entered his eyes. Who’d taught him he wasn’t worthy of love? “I know not everyone approves of the fact I own a BDSM club and I haven’t really cared about that. But if they give you any problems, or the boys, I want you to tell me.”
She shook her head. “No one would dare.” Not and risk his wrath.
“You will tell me,” he said sternly.
“I will. I promise.”
He rolled her over. “I know you’re tired and that you need sleep, but I need you.”
“Then take me, Sir. I’m here for you.”
With a groan, he kissed her, ravaged her mouth, and slipped his tongue between her lips to play with hers. He nudged a leg between hers, pressing his thigh up against her mound. She ground herself against him. God, she needed him too.
He kissed his way down her chest, cupped her breasts and pushed them together so he could tease and kiss her nipples. “You are so beautiful. So giving. I was so proud of you tonight, I know that wasn’t easy.”
“I never thought I’d ever wear a chastity belt,” she said, running her hands through his hair.
He moved lower, kissing down her stomach. “I liked it. I might have you wear it whenever I’m working at the club. Then I’ll know you’re nice and ready for me when I have time to play.”
“I’m always ready for you,” she told him breathlessly as he reached her pussy. He had her legs spread and lay between them, spreading her lips wide.
“Your pussy is so pretty. And it smells so good.”
“Oh, hell. I can’t believe you just said that.”
“I could eat you all day and still want more.” He ran his finger along her folds. “Are you sore?”
“No, Sir.”
“You wouldn’t lie to me.”
“No, Sir. I promise. I’m not sore. If anything, I feel empty.”
“Did you like being so full? With something in your ass and pussy?”
Fuck. “Yes, Sir.”
“I’m taking your ass tonight, pet. How do you feel about that?”
“Hot. Naughty. A little scared.”
He pressed her legs back, holding them against her stomach so he could explore her thoroughly, running his tongue along her lips, pushing it inside her then moving lower. Oh, God, he wouldn’t. She cried out as he ran his tongue over her back hole.
Fuck! Her insides lit on fire. She couldn’t believe he’d done that, yet it had felt incredible. He rolled her over, pushing her onto her hands and knees. “Put your face down on the mattress, pet,” he ordered. “I can’t wait much longer to take you and I need all my patience to take you slowly. The last thing I want is to hurt you. But first, we need to take care of your spanking.”
“Spanking?” She looked over her shoulder at him in surprise.
He pulled his hand back and smacked her. The resulting noise was satisfying. So he did it again. And again. “I haven’t forgotten your earlier infractions. Swearing is something you’re no longer allowed to do, is it, pet?”
He gave her a few more smacks, but couldn’t resist reaching down to cup her hot mound. She was so wet.
“Yes, Sir. Please, Sir.”
“Please, what?”
“Take me. Please take me.”
With pleasure. He climbed off the bed and got some lube and a condom. He rolled on the condom then squirted some lube on his fingers. He parted her cheeks and ran it over her back hole then pushed one finger slowly inside her. He added another finger, listening to her moan as he pushed his fingers back and forward.
His balls were tight, his need for her so strong he was in pain. He drew his fingers out and pressed the head of his cock against her back hole. “Take a deep breath in, pet. Try to relax.”
She breathed in then let it out slowly as
he pushed forward. He reached around with one hand to play with her clit. She groaned and whimpered, and he paused.
“No! Keep going, please, Sir.”
“Tell me if anything hurts.”
“It burns. It’s a little weird. But so hot. So hot. Please keep going.”
He pushed forward. Slowly but steadily. By the time he was fully inside her, they were both breathing heavily. He laid kisses along her back. “Ready, pet?”
“For you? Always, Sir.”
He pulled back, slid forward. At the same time, he played with her clit, circling it, tapping it. He could hear her moans grow deeper, could feel her clenching around him. He couldn’t hold on much longer. It was too much. He’d already been on the edge and the feel of her around him, hot and tight, was going to send him over.
“Come for me, pet. Come now. I need to hear you scream.”
He tapped the underside of her clit until she stiffened beneath him, clenching down around him as her cries filled the room.
He moved harder, faster. He ground his teeth together, every muscle straining.
And then he crashed, the world around him dying until all that was left was the two of them. It was like nothing he’d felt before. It was everything.
15
Aspen rolled over with a yawn then stretched. She didn’t really want to get up. She was feeling entirely too lazy. She opened her eyes, and looked around, disorientated. Then it came back to her. She was at the cabin. With Saxon. She didn’t have to get up to the boys or go to work.
“Come here,” a deep voice grumbled.
She smiled, sliding over onto her other side, snuggling in close with her head on his chest. He wrapped his arm around her, holding her tight.
“How did you sleep, sprite?”
“Really good. The best I have in ages.”
“Multiple orgasms will do that for you.”
She rolled her eyes but laughed. “Might be a cure for insomnia, huh?”
“Sh, don’t tell anyone. It’s going to make me millions.” He yawned.
She didn’t really think he needed the money. Not that she really knew. Or cared. But it might be nice to know something more about her fiancée.
Wow, that was going to take some getting used to.
She ran her finger down his smooth chest. “Joel?”
“Hmm?”
“You really meant it?”
Shit. That wasn’t what she’d meant to ask. He rolled onto his side to face her. He tilted her face up so she had no choice but to look at him. Then he kissed her lightly.
“I’m going to marry you, Aspen Lane.”
Happiness filled her. “Sorry. It might take me some time to get used to. I got used to telling myself that this wouldn’t last forever.”
“And that’s my fault. For not working out earlier that you mean everything to me and that I wasn’t ever going to let you or the boys go.”
She was happy he’d included them. It wasn’t every man that would take on a ready-made family.
He ran a finger down her face. “I tried to tell myself that I was responding to the fact that you were a sub in need. That I was just going to show you what you really needed. Instead, you showed me what I needed. Never thought I wanted a family. I fucked mine up good.”
She frowned slightly. “Your family?” She knew about his sister.
“You know that my sister died.”
“Yes, but that wasn’t your fault.”
His smile was tight. “Maybe not. Sometimes I feel like I should have been able to prevent it.”
She shook her head. He was so protective of those he cared about that she understood why he felt that way.
“You couldn’t prevent it.”
“Maybe not.” He looked into the distance. “But maybe I could have done something about my brother.”
“Your brother? I didn’t know you had a brother.”
“I don’t talk about him. We’re estranged. We had a huge argument, not long after Rebecca died.”
“Oh, Joel. I’m sure it’s nothing you can’t repair. You were both hurting after losing your sister.”
He shook his head. “Rebecca wasn’t Cole’s sister. Rebecca and I had the same mom but different dads. Good old Dad was a philandering asshole who completely swept my mom off her feet, got her pregnant then dumped her. My father wasn’t the best role model. He’s part of the reason I didn’t want a family. I didn’t want to be anything like him. He was always working. And when he wasn’t working, he was screwing his latest girlfriend. He never paid any attention to Cole and me. Thankfully, I only had to spend holidays with him. Cole had to live with him all the time. I can’t even imagine how lonely his life was.”
“That sounds horrible.”
“Yeah. It’s no wonder Cole is an uptight dickhead.” He shook his head. “When the old man died, he left me half of the huge empire he’d built. I could tell Cole was put out. He’d worked for my dad, put in many hard years, and the old bastard left half of everything to me.”
“What happened between the two of you?”
He sighed. “I got involved with his love life and he didn’t appreciate it. The couple he was interested in decided they wanted to try BDSM, I encouraged it. Cole accused me of corrupting them.”
“Couple?”
He smiled. “Yep. Two. He didn’t do things by half.”
“I’m so sorry that you argued. Are you sure you couldn’t make things up with him?”
“The truth is, sprite. I’m not sure I even want to.”
He rolled over so he lay over her, his weight supported on his arms. “Now, we have a few hours before we have to get back. What do you propose we do?”
“We could make some breakfast.”
“I am hungry. But not food. I think I’ll just snack on you instead.”
Well, who was she to argue?
They’d just pulled up outside his house when his phone rang. He looked down at the caller ID. “Private number.”
“I’ll go in and let you take the call. I’m eager to see the boys.”
“Hey.” He grabbed hold of her and pulled her close, kissing her. “Thank you, pet.”
“For what?”
“For trusting me. Loving me.”
She smiled at him. “Putting up with you?”
“Do you want another spanking, brat?”
“Oh, no. No, I’m fine, thank you, Sir.”
She jumped out of the truck with a laugh and raced into the house. He answered the call. “Hello, this is Saxon.”
“S-Saxon?”
He straightened as he heard the shaky voice on the other end. Male. And scared, very scared.
“Yes, who is this?”
“It’s Julian Michaels. I knew you when we lived in L.A.?”
“Julian. I remember.” Like he could forget that time in his life.
“Saxon, I know you don’t know me well. But I really need your help.”
“Tell me what you need.”
As he listened to the story unfold, his stomach tightened. “Wait right there. I’ll get to you as soon as I can. Just stay there. Stay safe. I’m coming.”
Fuck. Julian was in a world of trouble, and so was his wife, Keira. And he had to help them. Cole might have thrown them away. But he didn’t do that to subs in trouble.
“You’re going to South America?”
She watched Saxon pack some clothes into a duffel bag. He grabbed his passport and tucked it into a pocket in the bag. He turned to her. “I have to go. Some old friends need help.”
“Now?”
“They’re in a lot of trouble, Aspen. I don’t have time to go into details, but they need help right away. I’m sorry to leave you, but they don’t have time to waste. It’s really important.”
“It’s okay, I understand.” She didn’t like it but she understood. “Just be safe. Will you call me?”
“If I can. I don’t know how good the reception will be.” He drew her close and kissed her. “I need to stop in
and talk to Jake before I go. If you need anything, I want you to call him. Promise me you will do that.”
“I will. I promise.” She could take that worry out of his hands. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
16
Exhaustion dragged her down as she trudged her way into the kitchen of the restaurant. She’d hardly slept at all last night. Jamie was teething, but even once she’d gotten him to sleep she’d lain awake, worried about Saxon. He’d called after landing in Colombia, but she’d heard nothing since. He’d been gone for two days, and she was really worried. She wished she knew what was going on. She thought he’d deliberately not told her everything because he didn’t want her to worry.
Yeah, that had worked really well. She couldn’t stop worrying. She wondered if she should go and talk to Jake. Maybe he’d know what was going on. He’d known Joel a lot longer than she had. There was a lot she didn’t know about her fiancé.
Fiancé? Shit. That still sounded a bit strange. She was going to marry Joel Saxon. He wouldn’t change his mind, would he? No. He didn’t make empty promises.
It was a little frightening to realize how much she’d grown to love him. To need him. Even the boys were acting a bit out of sorts. Probably because they could sense how unsettled she was. But she knew they would all feel better once he was back.
She hadn’t told anyone they were engaged yet. It didn’t feel right to do it when Joel wasn’t here. At least she told herself that was the reason. There was also a voice whispering in her head that maybe it wasn’t real.
She’d just wait until he came back. And he was coming back.
“You know, just because you’re fucking the boss doesn’t mean you can waltz in whenever you want,” Renard called out to her from where he stood behind the stove.
Those sleepless nights combined with all her worries meant her hold on her temper was whisper-thin and Renard had just sliced through it with a sharp-edged blade.
Saxon's Soul (Haven, Texas Book 5) Page 22
