“And these two must be Caleb and Jamie,” the woman said. “Enjoyed their breakfast, huh?”
“Enjoyed playing with it anyway,” she replied warily. “You’re friends of Joel’s?”
The woman turned her gaze back to her, and Aspen could see that she seemed uncertain, maybe a bit scared. But then she plastered a smile on her face. “Oh, sorry, how rude of me. I’m Keira. This is my husband, Julian.”
Husband? Good. So then she wasn’t some ex-girlfriend of Saxon’s. Relief filled her. She knew it was silly. He wouldn’t bring an ex back here, but she also knew he had a past that didn’t include her.
The future is what matters, Aspen.
“Please, why don’t you have a seat?” She’d been caught by surprise but she could see she wasn’t the only one feeling ill at ease. Julian hadn’t let his gaze rest since they’d entered the room. His eyes darted around, as though he was waiting for someone to attack. He was tense. Unsure. And while Keira attempted to appear more at ease, she could see the way she gripped the crutches, her knuckles white with tension.
The poor things looked like they could use some care. And several good meals.
“Would you like some breakfast? I can whip you up some bacon and scrambled eggs,” she asked as she wiped the boys faces and hands.
“Oh, we don’t want to put you to any bother,” Keira said, looking over at Julian as thought waiting for him to say something. But Julian remained silent, watching them all carefully as he hovered near Keira. Protecting her.
Aspen knew she needed a way to put them more at ease. She wished Joel were here. Where had he gone? Why had left as soon as he’d gotten home?
“It’s no bother,” Aspen said cheerfully. “In fact, it would do me a huge favor if you would sit with the boys and keep them entertained.”
“Oh, then, of course.” Keira smiled at Jamie and Caleb. “Three gorgeous men as my breakfast companions? I’m a lucky woman.”
“Could you make that four?” Saxon stepped out of the doorway and immediately regretted not making more noise when he entered the house as Keira gasped and went pale, while Julian stepped in front of her, his fists clenched, his eyes filled with dark shadows.
Fuck. He was an idiot. He’d been standing in the shadows, listening to Aspen coaxing Keira and Julian to sit so she could care for them. She was so giving, so loving. Even though they were strangers she’d seen they were suffering and had tried to coax them with the one thing Keira adored.
Children.
And he’d ruined that.
“Sorry for scaring you,” Saxon told them in a low, calm voice. “I shouldn’t have snuck up on you like that.”
“It’s okay. You just surprised us, right Julian?” Keira leaned forward to place her hand on Julian’s arm and nearly toppled over.
Julian turned, catching her in his arms. “Damn it, Keira, be more careful.”
“Sorry,” she said, her voice filled with hurt.
“Here, set her down,” Aspen said, moving to the table and pulling out a chair.
Julian just stood there, staring at her as though not seeing her.
“Please, sit. Let me help you take care of her.”
Saxon bit back the need to order Julian to place Keira down. Julian was a switch and right now he was deep into Dom mode. Neither of them were Saxon’s subs to demand anything of.
“Julian, Keira will be more comfortable sitting. She’s safe here. So are you. Saxon won’t let anything happen to either of you.”
Aspen stared up at him. Her eyes filled with trust and worry. He gave her a warm smile, filled with approval and love. She seemed to glow. Jamie thumped his fists down on the table.
“There, Jamie agrees with me,” Aspen said, leaning over to ruffle the boy’s dark hair. “Don’t you, gorgeous boy?”
Julien moved slowly, but he set Keira down. Saxon let out his breath he’d been holding. Then he moved over to Aspen and pulled her into his arms, kissing her hard. She swayed as he let her go, her eyes were dazed as she looked up at him.
“Good morning, sprite,” he told her. “Is there room for one more for breakfast?”
“Always, Sir.”
Happiness filled him before he let her go, turning her to the kitchen with a smack on her ass. “Then get to it. I have to check in with my boys. Make sure their mother has been behaving herself.”
She turned back, hand on her hip, her finger pointing at him. “You won’t be using my sons as spies.” Her eyes danced with laughter.
He raised an eyebrow. “When it comes to taking care of their mother, I need every advantage I can get.”
She rolled her eyes and he gave her a stern look. “It seems I’ve been gone so long that you’ve forgotten how to give your Dom proper respect. I might have to see what I can do to change that.”
She smiled. “You just might, Sir.”
Then she glanced over at Keira and Julian, as though just remembering they could hear them. But whatever she saw on their faces made her relax again, her gaze filling with compassion. “Three breakfasts coming up.”
She watched as Joel walked over to the boys, talking quietly to them both before kissing them softly on their heads. Both Julian and Keira stared at him in amazement. Love filled her, until she felt like it might flow over as the boys smiled and giggled.
Over an hour later, she stood alone in the kitchen, tidying up. Gwen had come over and taken the boys upstairs. Keira and Julian had retreated to their bedroom. She hoped they were okay, she didn’t know what they’d been through but it must have been pretty horrific. They were so jumpy. Scared.
She’d noticed they’d barely eaten. If she found out what some of their favorite foods were then she could prepare them. Coax them into eating more and getting their strength back up.
Saxon had stepped out to take a phone call. She wished he would hurry back. She needed him. As though she’d conjured him up, two hands wrapped around her waist, pulling her back against his body. He leaned in and nuzzled her neck.
“Thank you, sprite.”
She turned, wrapping her arms around his neck. “For what?”
“It’s not every woman who, when she finds two strangers in her house, takes them in without a word and does her best to make them at ease. Cares for them.”
“Something terrible happened to them, didn’t it?” she whispered.
He grimaced. “Yes. I’m sorry I had to leave in such a rush.”
“It’s okay,” she told them. “I understand. Do you know some of their favorite foods? I thought I could make them something they’d like to eat tonight.”
He lifted her up into his arms. She yelped, grabbing hold of him tightly. “Joel! I haven’t finished the dishes.”
“The dishes can wait. I need you.”
“Oh.” She relaxed against him. “I need you too.”
“Not for that, sprite.” He grinned down at her. “Well, not for that right now. I want to talk to you.”
“About Keira and Julian?”
“Yes. Among other things.”
He walked into his home office and shut and locked the door behind him. He sat on the sofa with her on his lap. He turned her so she straddled his lap, facing him. His face was serious. Her heart beat faster, worry filled her.
“Is everything okay, Joel?”
“Did you miss me, sprite?”
She relaxed slightly. Was he worried she hadn’t? Maybe she wasn’t the only one feeling slightly insecure.
“Yes. So much. Please, can I . . .” Her voice trailed off.
He cupped her cheek. “Ask me for what you need.”
The need to submit, to give him control filled her. She couldn’t voice it, though. Not quite yet. So she showed him. She slid to her knees in front of him.
“Ah, thought that might be the case,” he told her. His voice had deepened slightly and when she glanced up, she saw the satisfaction on his face. Was it possible he’d missed this as much as she had?
“Look at me, pet.”
“Even if you couldn’t voice it, I’m glad you could at least show me what you needed.”
“I missed this so much, Sir.”
“And that surprised you? Maybe confused you? Or made you wonder if you’re becoming too dependent on me?”
She thought that over for a moment. “All three?”
He nodded. “I’m going to ask you something and I want an honest answer. Are you ashamed of your needs? Or perhaps embarrassed by them?”
She frowned. “What? No, Sir.”
“I want the truth, not what you think I want to hear,” he told her. “I know this is all new to you.”
“Yes, it’s new to me, Sir.” She struggled for the words. Why was it so damn hard to open up? She let out a deep breath. “Sometimes I still feel a little confused by all this. But I’m not ashamed or embarrassed of my needs.”
“Or of our relationship?”
What? She stared up at him in surprise. “I’m not ashamed of our relationship, Sir.”
Why would he say that?
“You have the boys to think of. Do you believe I can be a good father to them, considering who I am?”
“Joel, look at me.” Yep, she was breaking protocol, but this was so important. She leaned up, pressing between his legs to grab his face between her hands. “I love you so much.”
The uncertainty that flashed in his eyes was a shock. She was used to him being so in control. That unflagging confidence was a rock to her. But this flash of vulnerability was something he wouldn’t show anyone else. And it meant everything.
“I am in no way ashamed of who you are, what we are together.”
The stiffness in his body eased.
“And you will be an amazing father. I see how much you care for the boys, even though they aren’t yours—”
“They will be,” he interrupted her. “I’m not just marrying you. They will be a part of this family in all ways. As soon as it can be arranged, I’m going to adopt them.”
“I can think of nothing I want more. I’ll still talk to them about their biological father—”
“Certainly,” he said. “That’s part of who they are. They deserve to know that. Just as they deserve to know that I love them like they were my own. That they are mine.”
“You know, for someone who hates being interrupted, you sure like to do it a lot,” she joked.
He attempted a smile. “Dom’s prerogative.”
She snorted then grew serious. “You really want to adopt them?”
He brushed her hair off her face. “The only thing I want more is to marry you. To have you here always. In my bed. In my life. Bound. Fucked. Loved.”
“Please don’t tell me those are going to be your wedding vows.”
This time his smile wasn’t forced. “And would you complain if they were?”
“Yes! You are not saying that you want me bound and fucked, Joel Saxon!”
“Hmm, I can see that since I’ve been gone you’ve forgotten who’s in charge here,” he said in a low voice.
She slid back, sitting on her heels, her spine straight, gaze down, hands on her thighs. “Not at all, Sir.”
“Very nice.”
She snuck a glance up at him. “But you have told me that I need to speak up rather than keep quiet because I’m worried I might upset someone.”
“Did I? I suppose I might revise those vows if it means so much to you.”
“It does.”
He reached forward and cupped her breast, squeezing lightly. “Aspen, I wish I hadn’t had to leave right after asking you to marry me—”
“Telling me I was going to marry you.”
“Don’t interrupt,” he said sternly, but there was a hint of humor in his gaze. “If you’re feeling uncertain about that now, if you need to talk about it, if you’re not sure that you want to marry me anymore—”
“What? Of course I do.” How could he believe otherwise? Didn’t he know what he meant to her.
“Sir, I love you with everything inside me. This past week has been . . . hard.” She didn’t want to come across as needy. But she owed him more than that. She owed him the truth. “It was more than that. It felt like I was missing a limb. I was so worried about you, about what was going on.”
He brushed back her hair, studying her face. “You should have told me, pet. You never said anything when I called you.”
“The reception wasn’t that good and you were needed elsewhere. There wasn’t much you could have done, not like you could hug me through the phone.”
“I wish I’d been here for you.” He rubbed his thumb over her cheek. “I thought a family wasn’t for me. The idea of a wife, kids, a picket fence it seemed like it was for other people. Not my life. And now, I’ve found someone who makes me smile, who keeps me on my toes, who is kind and caring and sweet and sexy and I can’t imagine my life without her. And she comes with two gorgeous boys who fill me with joy I don’t feel I deserve, but who I will prove to every day that I love them. That I cherish the three of them. And I will do all that I can to provide for and protect them.”
She sniffled. “Now, those are some amazing wedding vows.”
He gave her a gentle look. “Maybe I don’t deserve the three of you, but I’m not letting you go.”
“I don’t know why you think you don’t deserve us, but we’re not going anywhere. Not as long as you want us.”
“Then we’re going to be together for a long time.” He ran his thumb over her mouth. “I have never felt like this before.”
“Me either.”
“Okay, so now that the wedding vows are sorted,” he smiled down at her, “would you like to tell me why you didn’t tell anyone we’re engaged?”
What? Of everything she expected him to say it wasn’t that. She’d thought he’d brought her in here to talk about Julian and Keira.
She frowned, thinking it over. “I’m not sure. I think because it was so new, so special and I didn’t know whether you wanted me to say anything or to wait for you. So I decided to wait.”
“And is that the only reason?”
“I guess a part of me wanted to make certain you were sure.”
“You thought I might change my mind?”
She nodded, her gaze on the floor.
“Look at me.”
She glanced up into his blazing eyes. “Never. Understand me? Never. Are those the only reasons you didn’t say anything?”
“Yes. I want to marry you, Joel. More than anything. And I want everyone to know.”
He nodded arrogantly. “Good. Because Jake and Curt already do.”
“You’ve been to see them?” Her heart leapt into her throat. Would Jake have said anything about Winifred?
“Yes. And I do believe you have something to tell me.”
She licked her lips. “I was going to tell you. I wasn’t keeping it a secret. I promise. I didn’t want to worry you when there was nothing you could do.”
“That wasn’t your job to decide, pet,” he told her in a dark voice. “I’m the Dom. I protect you. You share your concerns and problems, I do what I can to help alleviate them. No matter how small or big. And this was damn big. You and the boys come first.”
“I was going to tell you as soon as you got back. I really wasn’t trying to keep things from you. Believe me, I couldn’t wait until you returned. But I didn’t want to leave a message and the reception was so bad when we talked, it seemed a better idea to wait.”
He nodded. “I’m more upset that I wasn’t here. Tell me.”
“Aaron’s mother is here,” she whispered. “She turned up here a couple of days after you left. With her lawyer. She said my mother told her that I hadn’t aborted the boys.”
“That bitch.”
She nodded. That was an apt description for both women.
“I don’t know what my mother was doing talking to her. Why she would even go back to Alabaster. But after talking to Mom, Winifred sent a priva
te investigator here to spy on me. When she learned that I was living here . . .” she took in a shuddering breath. “She threatened that unless I gave the boys to her she was going to get a court order to have them taken from me.”
“Did she say on what grounds?”
“She thinks they’re in danger because they live next to a BDSM club.” She needed to tread carefully, not wanting to hurt him.
“And because you’re living with the owner of that BDSM club?”
She winced, she should have known he would read between the lines.
“Yes. I’m sorry.”
His jaw was tight, his eyes dark, but he pulled her up into his lap and rubbed his hand up and down her back gently. “No reason for you to be sorry, sprite. Do you believe the boys are in any danger living here with me?”
She sat up straight and cupped his face between her hands. “Of course, I don’t. You are wonderful with Jamie and Caleb. You take care of them, play with them, look out for them. There is no one I trust more with them.”
“Do you think I would let anyone take them from us?”
No. He wouldn’t. But he sounded so confident as though he knew something she didn’t. She frowned. “You knew all this, didn’t you? Jake told you?”
“He thought I already knew. He told me everything, including Molly and Hannah’s campaign to make her life a living hell.” He grinned.
“They’ve done their best.” She smiled. “Apparently Winifred’s room at the B&B hasn’t had hot water since she got here. And wherever she goes out to eat, the food is either cold or so salty or spicy she can’t eat it.”
He grinned. “Remind me never to cross Molly.”
“Same.” Her smile died. “What will we do, though? She has a lot of money, she could just bribe a judge for that court order and take the boys from me.”
He placed a finger over her lips. “Do you trust me?”
“Yes.” Always. With everything.
“Good girl.”
His answer warmed her.
“Winifred Hartfield isn’t going to be a problem.”
“What? How can you know that? I don’t even know why she’s doing this. First, she wanted me to abort them and now she wants them. It makes no sense.”
Saxon's Soul (Haven, Texas Book 5) Page 25
