by Maggie Ryan
She had left him alone for a good ten minutes, but he was starting to make her nervous.
“Excuse me? Can I help you find some socks?”
He looked up startled, as if he was surprised to find himself not alone. Then he smiled. He had huge dimples and a becoming smile that almost didn’t fit his thin face or gangly body. He had a slightly nerdy look about him, but dark hair and handsome green eyes. “I guess that’s why I came. It seemed like a good idea. Now I’m not so sure. I might be losing my mind.”
Joey wasn’t sure that that wasn’t true.
“Maybe I can help?” she asked hopefully, wondering what his story was.
“Do you sell hopes and dreams?” he asked smiling ruefully.
Joey smiled back, as he patted his pocket again. “Yes, I believe I do. Forgive me for being so forward, but that isn’t by any chance a ring in there is it?”
It was all the prompting he needed. He reached into his pocket and withdrew a small blue box that she recognized as coming from the jeweler across the street. He handed it to her, and she opened it, eyes widening in surprise as she revealed an exquisite solitaire.
“I want to ask my girlfriend to marry me tonight. We’ve been together for two years now, and I’m still pinching myself every day, wondering if this is my real life.” He shook his head and blushed. “She’s way out of my league. She likes socks—so I thought if she said yes, maybe something to symbolize the start of your new life together, but that’s corny isn’t it? Engagement socks?”
“Not if she likes socks. No.” Joey breathed, enchanted by the sweet young man and his obvious love for his girlfriend, who was a very lucky lady indeed.
“Oh, okay, good,” he stuttered, as if surprised by her answer.
“How about these?” she asked, pointing. It was a two pack, and one of her favorites. One pair was plain white with Bride scrawled across the top in large black script. The second pair was black adorned with diamond rings and glasses of champagne and tiny wedding bells.
He nodded eagerly, and she placed them in his outstretched hands and sighed. Her own pair still stashed in her drawer at home, utterly threadbare from how often she had worn them that first year, but she knew that just like her joey socks, she would never throw them out.
She rang him up, and wished him luck, as he quickly fled. And then she was alone. Not that it mattered. Her mind was already wandering.
She hadn’t asked him to go with her when she got the results from her scan after two rigorous rounds of chemo. Whatever the news was, she wanted to hear for herself. She had forgotten, of course, that as a chemo nurse, Jake had access to her records.
She was shutting her suitcase when he walked in. His smile was huge, until he noticed the suitcase. His demeanor changed instantly. “Joey, what are you doing?”
Her smile was only half real. The scan had been clean, but that meant she didn’t need Jake any more. She had been staying here for months, and it was time to let him live his life, and for her to live her own. She had a second chance after all, and it was mostly thanks to him. She smiled at him through her tears.
“I’m healthy, Jake. The cancer is gone.”
“I know. I heard. I got champagne. I took the night off. I thought we could celebrate.”
“It’s okay, Jake. You’re free. You don’t have to take care of me anymore. I can take care of myself now.” Her tone was cheerful but her voice broke as she spoke the words.
Jake stared at her blankly. “What are you talking about?”
“I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, Jake. More than you could ever know. But, I’ve been a hindrance to you for too long. It’s okay. I’m okay. Live your life. Go back to having a bachelorhood. Scratch your balls while drinking beer and watching the ballgame. Stumble home drunk. Eat cereal in your boxers. Bring a date home. Live your life, Jake. Don’t worry about me. I’ll live mine. Thanks to you.”
“You are my life. I don’t want to do any of those things. Well, maybe eat cereal in my boxers, but I can do that with you here, Joey. Without you here, life will cease to exist. You are my life,” he repeated.
It was her turn to stare blankly. “Jake, what are you saying?”
She watched in shock as he dropped the bags he had been holding and sank to the floor in front of her, kneeling. Was he going to beg her to stay? She gave a strangled laugh, and pulled at his arm.
“Get up, you goofball.”
“Marry me.”
She rolled her eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous, Jake. I’m a big girl. And if it’s that important to you, we can celebrate. I’ll even stay a few days, until I have more of a plan. You don’t have to propose marriage to get me to stay.” She was still holding his arm, and she yanked on it, trying to pull him up. He didn’t budge, but stared at her incredulously, his eyes wild and desperate.
“I know we aren’t really dating, not officially, but we do all the things dating couples do. You’re the reason I get up in the morning, and the reason I race home after work. I’m in love with you. And I guess I really thought you felt the same.”
She did. She really did. Which was why she had to leave. She would ruin him. He would grow sick of her. Everyone did, eventually. And whether he admitted it or not, he was just doing it to keep her from leaving, because he felt sorry for her. “Jake,” she said softly a lone tear falling from her eye, and landing on her sock, “you don’t have to do this.”
“I swear to you—I was planning on doing it anyway. I don’t know when, exactly, but I was, and soon.”
She shook her head in disbelief. “Jake, stop. Please. I’ll stay for a week or two. I’ll get my plans settled and not be so impulsive. I promise. Just please stop saying things you don’t mean.” Because she wanted him to mean them. With every fiber of her being.
Finally, he stood. He stared at her, mouth agape, shook his head and ran from the room. In a second, he was back. Holding a small bag. He shuffled his feet nervously. “I don’t have a ring. Not yet. But I do have these.” He thrust the bag into her hands, as she stared at him puzzled.
The socks were white knee-highs. Nothing like the fun and crazy ones he usually bought her. The toes and heels were black, and they said “Bride” at the top in big black script. She stared at them for a full minute, running her hands over the smooth fabric, tracing each detail of the script with a single finger. And finally she got it. He wanted her. The lump in her throat threatened to strangle her, and she could barely see him past the tears in her eyes.
“You bought these? For me?”
“Last week.”
“Everything you said? It was real?”
“Every word.” She could hear the emotion in his voice, and heard him sniffle.
“Ask me again.”
Jake stopped, wiped the tears from her eyes, and she smiled as he slowly came into sight. “I don’t have a ring.”
She thrust the socks at him. “Sock it to me.”
He gaped at her, looked down at the socks, and then slowly smiled. “Sit down and take off your socks.”
Her heart was thumping in her chest as she sank onto the leather couch. Her palms were damp with sweat and stuck to her rainbow striped socks as she tried to roll them off.
She must have been taking too long, because Jake finally laughed, and stooped down to pull them off her. She could see that his hands were also shaking, but he managed. She wiggled her naked toes and grinned.
Jake had his serious face on, and he picked up one of the bride socks, and draped it over his palm like an offering.
“Jolene Marie, you changed my life from the moment you walked in the door. You make me a better man, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Marry me?”
“Yes, Jake, yes!” She was shaking from a combination of laughter and tears as he took her foot in both hands almost reverently, and rolled the sock up her leg, twisting and tugging, until the “Bride” sat in just the right spot. When they were both on, he rolled back on his heels, and laughed as she thrust her l
egs out for him to admire.
“Did I really just propose to you with a pair of socks?”
“Yes, you did, and it was perfect.”
“You still need a ring.” His grin was eager, like a little boy on Christmas morning. “Should we go shopping?”
“Now?” She looked at her feet, and melted, soaking in the feeling and the image the socks made, much as most newly engaged people stare at their hand. “Okay, but only if I can wear my socks. “
“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Every memory she had with Jake was special, but that one was her favorite. Finding those bride socks for her store had been a special mission. She wouldn’t have opened without them, and selling them on the first day had made it even more perfect.
The memory made her melt, even as she tried to scowl. She didn’t want to remember how perfect Jake was. She wanted to be mad. It was no use, now. That day was a perfect rendition of their life together. She put up walls, and pushed and did things impulsively because she was so used to not having anybody who cared what she did, and Jake shoved his way through the walls with his quiet dominance and easy charm, and reminded her that someone did care. Socks and spanking. The two together literally made the entire foundation of their relationship. He had spanked her that night too.
The ring sparkled on her finger, and the socks warmed her feet as they sat in front of the fireplace, eating pizza off paper towels and drinking champagne out of beer steins.
“We’re going to have to get some real dishes now.” She teased him. “Make this place less bachelor-pad like.”
Jake just rolled his eyes, and she giggled. The truth was for a bachelor pad, the only thing that wasn’t well stocked was his kitchen, because it was where he spent the least amount of time. Between takeout, frozen dinners, and the hospital cafeteria, there had never been much of a need. She knew that.
“There’s time,” he told her, with a smirk. “The way I see it, we have much more pressing matters to attend to.”
“Oh, yeah? What’s that?”
Her mind was focused on the wedding and life after the wedding and she expected him to say they needed to set a date or some such thing.
“Our first kiss, and your spanking.”
Her stomach clenched with a rush of dread and anticipation. Her throat dried up immediately, and she swallowed hard, wondering which statement to address first. It seemed illogical and unbelievable that they were engaged and they hadn’t yet kissed. She felt like she had been in love with Jake for her whole life. The reality was only eight months. She wanted to kiss him, so badly did she want to kiss him, but she wanted both to savor it, and get it over with, much like the spanking. Although she mostly just wanted to get that over with. Who spanked someone on the night of their engagement anyway? She wanted to argue with him, to pout, and insist that she didn’t need a spanking, but she had learned long ago that when Jake decided she had a spanking coming, arguing with him was fruitless and often made the situation worse. And although he hadn’t said anything before now, she had a pretty good idea what it was about as well.
She shuddered, and smiled, straightening her back, and staring him straight in the eye. “Kiss me, then spank me, then kiss me some more.”
It was all the invitation Jake had needed, as he quickly closed the space between them. Strong arms wrapped around her, pulling her in close. She closed her eyes, as he softly caressed her face. Every nerve in her body tingled and every hair stood at attention. And then he kissed her. His lips closed over hers in a way that was so very Jake. Soft but firm. Playful but commanding. He claimed her as his. And she knew that she was. His to kiss. His to spank. His to marry. Just his.
When he finally pulled away, she was breathless and satiated. It had only been a minute, but that single minute had been everything. Even Jake looked slightly shell shocked as he stared at her with wide eyes, temporarily speechless.
“Well, um…Let’s get your spanking over with then, so we can do that again.”
“We could just skip the spanking.” It would never work, and she would be disappointed if it did, but she had to say it. She too was anxious to feel his lips on hers once more.
“We can’t skip the spanking, Jolene. It’s too important. More so now than ever.”
Her entire body flooded with relief as she nodded. There was something about having Jake spank her that was oddly reassuring. It was safe, and it was the one thing in life she could count on.
“Stand up then.” He gave the instruction as he himself stood, making his way over to the couch, and patting his knee. He wasn’t wasting any time.
She wasn’t either, and she quickly followed.
“Do you know why you’re getting a spanking, Joey?” Jake had his stern face on, and the look he gave her had her stomach turning cartwheels. She hated this part, but it was part of the routine she had come to know well.
“I’m guessing for trying to leave without talking to you.”
He nodded gravely. “And why does that get you spanked?”
“Because it’s putting up walls and shutting you out.” Her eyes watered at this point and she squeezed them tightly shut before continuing. “You’ve proven time and again that you’re here for me, that I can count on you, and that I can lean on you, and that you aren’t like everyone else in my life. I need to respect that, and trust it, and know it.”
“That’s right.” As soon as the words left her lips, he pulled on her arm, flipping her over his lap. “It’s even more important now than ever, Jolene. I’m going to be your husband, and you’re going to be my wife. Shutting me out is not acceptable.”
“Yes, Jake. I know.”
A bell clanged on the door, startling her from her reverie. And she looked up to see the man in question. He stopped at the door, looking around the quiet shop with unease.
She smiled weakly at him. The spanking he had given her that night had been the worst up to that point. The making up afterwards had been the best.
Neither had stopped her from making the same mistake again. And again. And again. Doing things on her own was what she did. Shutting him out and shenanigans were literally the only two things that routinely ended up with her over his knee.
She didn’t always mean to do it, but doing things on her own was what she did. Her life had been a constant cacophony of people saying they cared and then proving otherwise with their actions. Jake had been the first person to do the opposite. She knew sometimes she threw walls up on purpose, just to make sure he still cared enough to break them down. When she did it, and he spanked her, she knew she was safe. Loved. Cherished. Not alone.
This time he hadn’t. The thought hit her like a ton of bricks. A ton of bricks being hurled at her chest until she found it difficult to breathe. This time, she had acted impulsively and shut him out, and he hadn’t done anything.
Chapter 5
Jake stared at his wife, watching as her face contorted in shock. Her eyes widened, and her chest heaved as she struggled to breathe. She hadn’t had a panic attack in years, but it looked like she was on the verge. The store was empty at the moment, but he knew it hadn’t been all day.
She had seemed fine when he first walked in. Even smiled as he slowly meandered around the shop, taking in the full effect of the fruits of her labor.
And now she had that deer in the headlights look—one he hadn’t seen in a very long time. She got it often the first few months he knew her. Usually right before she tried to shut him out. He always calmed her down, talked her through it, and if the situation warranted, and it usually did, spanked her for pushing him away.
He never let her push him out. She tried often, but he spanked her every single time. Over the last five years, it probably accounted for ninety percent of the spankings he had given her. He always told her, especially after they got engaged that it was the one surefire way to a red-hot bottom. It was a promise he had made her.
Jake stopped mid spanking, and shook his hand as if doing so would a
lleviate the pain. For so much as his hand hurt, her bottom had to be on fire. But he wasn’t done. This spanking would set the tone for the rest of their lives together.
“Why are you over my knee, only hours after getting engaged getting your naughty little bottom roasted, Jolene?” She had already answered the question twice, but he was going to keep asking. This had to be a lesson well learned.
“Because, Jake.” The exasperation at having to repeat herself was evident in her tone. A tight pinch to the fleshiest part of her bottom served as a quick reminder that when she was bottoms up over his lap getting her tail tanned wasn’t the time for sass. She squealed as his fingers twisted the skin, punishing her tender flesh. “Okay, okay, sorry!”
She took another deep breath, and he swore he could hear her eyes roll back in her head as she answered for the third time. “Because I can’t push you out. I can’t not tell you things. I can't decide what’s best for you, or what you want.”
“What’s really best for me, Jolene?”
Her breath escaped in a happy sigh. “I am.”
“That’s right. I’m here for you from this day forward. I’ve already proved myself time and again, and I will spend the rest of my life doing so if that’s what you need. Stand up.”
She bounced up off his lap, and into his arms, with obvious relief, thinking that her spanking was over. It wasn’t.
He kissed her softly, and wiped her tears gently as always, but then he pulled back—placing his hands on her shoulders and regarded her sternly. “We are not finished yet, Jolene. You’re my fiancée now, and soon you’ll be my wife, and your discipline will be much different from now on. I won’t hesitate to give you a good taste of my belt or a good paddling when needed, and tonight, it’s needed.”
