by KT Strange
“What the hell was that?” Shara asked as Ginny took another swig from the spiked water bottle.
“Uh oh, I think I know,” Ginny said, wrinkling her nose. “There’s a bunch of gossip accounts on Tumblr and Twitter, spreading shit about this tour. Mainly Jake fangirls. Sorry Shara, but he’s an asshole and so are his fans.”
Shara sighed.
“As long as you keep supplying the booze, I can keep pretending I don’t hear you.”
“But what does that have to do with me and Phoenixcry?” I interrupted them, a burning acid feeling crawling up the back of my throat. Shara and Ginny exchanged another pair of looks. Ginny sighed.
“Look, you seem really sweet, so like, I’m just gonna tell it to you and then you can figure out where you go from here,” Ginny said. She fished her phone out from her pocket and opened her Twitter app. She handed the phone over to me. “Scroll down.”
My heart in my throat the whole time, I saw picture after picture. They were all of me, candid photos. Me unloading with the guys in the band, me hanging around backstage. Pictures from behind me as I stood there, the lights flashing around me. There was a picture of me dozing off in the green room, Finn’s jacket draped over me. Then another one while I slept, closer, just a hands breadth away from my face.
And underneath, a caption.
She sleeps like an angel, never knowing how much she means to me. Soon, sleeping angel, soon.
“What the fuck,” I whispered and looked up at Shara and Ginny. Shara winced.
“So like, Jake does this thing...”
“Oh you’re kidding me,” I said. “That’s him? He’s taking photos of me, while I’m sleeping?!”
“Don’t freak out,” Shara said, but I was the very definition of freaking out. He’d violated my privacy, taking photos of me when I had no idea, and the whole time during the tour he’d been posting them.
“Is that his official account?” I was going to get his ass blasted by Willa. At the very least, I was going to complain to her, and she’d deal with him, I knew it in my heart.
“No, it’s like, a secret one, but some of his fans know about it, like the long-term ones that have been around since he was playing coffee shops,” Shara said, looking guilty.
“Willa’s gonna have your ass if she finds out. Chrissy is going to kill you for not telling her he’s doing this, you know how protective she is over the social media strategy,” I pointed out. Shara’s face transformed from ashamed to annoyed.
“You’re not going to run to them and tell them I knew about this the whole time,” she said, stepping toward me. Ginny threw up her hand.
“Whoa. Ladies? We have a show to deal with,” she said, pointing out at the crowd. “Just cause those walking wallets haven’t come over here yet doesn’t mean they’re not going to. Shara, you should have said something, but you didn’t. Neither did I. Darcy, yeah, Jake is a total freak, but at least now you know.”
I gulped down painful feelings, like knives, and turned back to my merch table. They weren’t my best friends by any stretch but I had liked them at least. I had trusted them, a little bit. I popped out my own phone and tapped in Jake’s little secret twitter username.
There was one more photo, that I hadn’t seen before, that made my heart clench and my stomach curdle.
It was a picture of me and Finn. His arm was curled around my shoulders, his eyes closed and a relaxed smile on his face.
Underneath was a single word.
Heartbroken.
Twenty-Two
After the show, Eli took one look at me and said we were gonna spend the next day away from towns and cities. We had two days off in a row while Glory Revolution did radio dates and a TV appearance, and Jake had to go into studio in Sacramento to record a quick demo for the label.
We were on our own for at least seventy-two hours and I couldn’t have been more grateful. The rest of the night with Shara and Ginny had been painful, although I kept it to myself when the band came out after their set.
I don’t know how Eli knew something was wrong, but he did know, and as soon as he noticed, so did the other guys. I didn’t blame Finn, or Ace, for not seeing it first, even though I was closer to the both of them. The post-show merch table hang out and signing was always crazy, and Finn especially had to be ‘on’ for the new fans they’d made that night.
Watching girls cling to him, touch him, as he hugged them and laughed at their jokes, didn’t do my mood any good. At first I lied to myself, pretending like I was worried that one of those underage girls was a blood-thirsty hunter. After a few minutes where not a single fifteen-year-old pulled out a knife and stabbed Finn in the chest, I had to be honest with myself. I was feeling flickers of jealousy.
Truth was, I had no right to be jealous. I knew, even if he hadn’t said it, that his heart was mine. His touches had told me, his kisses had promised me. So I kept quiet, but tried to smile as we loaded out.
“Not now,” I said when Ace asked me what was wrong. He frowned but nodded, not prying.
The stars were out later that night, not a single cloud in the sky. We pulled off at a local federal park, away from people. As Eli turned off the engine, the quiet seeped into the van, and nobody spoke. Then Ace sighed, and tumbled out of the front passenger seat. Charlie laughed and went after him. Cash reached over and brushed my cheek with his hand, and followed, sliding the van door shut after him.
I hear the click and rasp of Finn’s seat-belt as he undid it. There was the hushed noise of moving fabric as he slid closer, and his warmth enveloped me.
“What happened?” he asked. I shrugged my shoulders helplessly. How to explain it? We’d been caught out, people, fans, knew about us being together, but it hadn’t reached him yet.
“Jake.” It’s all there was to say, really. Eli rumbled a low growl.
“He touch you?”
“He didn’t have to.” I pressed my face into Finn’s neck.
“I knew we should have done something about him. I fucking knew it. Eli, this tour—”
“It’s worth it,” I interrupted what Finn was about to say. “It doesn’t matter. Jake’s a creepy stalker, but it doesn’t matter what he says about me, as long as you guys don’t care.”
“What’s he saying about you?” The darkness settled all around us as the cab lights died, and I could barely make out the outline of Eli’s body in the driver’s seat. His shoulders were tense.
“He’s been taking pictures of me, kinda surreptitiously like, and posting them on Twitter. Captioning them. He got one of me and Finn hugging, and at the show two girls came up to me and called me a slut. I don’t think it’s that big a deal, it was just the one incident...” I trailed off when I realized Finn was so tense that his muscles felt rock-hard against me.
“We’re gonna take care of him,” Finn promised. “Eli, call Willa.”
“Finn, no I don’t want to make a big deal out of it!” I stood up, pushing away from him. I needed space. It felt like the tour van was closing in on me.
“Sweetheart.” Finn was on his feet in a second. “He’s dangerous.”
“I know that!” I took a deep, gulping breath. “I know that. I didn’t mean to yell I’m just—” I rubbed a hand over my face. “I thought, and it was stupid, I thought that when I left my family behind, my world behind, that this kind of back-stabbing, creepy behavior would stay there.”
In the dark, Finn’s face pulled down into a slow, sad smile.
“Witches are people. People are fucked up. Your family, whatever happened with that, they weren’t fucked up because they were witches.”
“I beg to differ,” I grumbled. “Please don’t do anything about Jake, not yet?”
“How far does it have to go before you want us to step in?” Eli rumbled, and I turned. He’d stood as well, stretching his legs slowly. He leaned against the driver’s chair. “What’s your line, Darcy?” He’d dropped the honorific use of my last name and it felt weird, as if he was challenging me
. Like using my first name only, he was finally addressing me and not just his idea of who I was.
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “I’ll know it when he crosses it.”
“Far as I’m concerned he’s already crossed it,” Finn said, and he reached out a hand, brushing it along my shoulder. “Sweetheart, if he hurts you, I don’t—I couldn’t stop myself from…=...”
“I’m going for a walk.” Eli opened the door and ducked out of it. “I’m taking the guys with me.” I could hear him, crunching off across the gravel road, to where Ace’s laughter echoed back to us even through the closed doors of the van. Silence roared up between us once more, so quiet I could hear my own heartbeat in my ears.
“Sweetheart.” Finn’s hands slipped over my hips, and I looked up him. He bent down and kissed me. I met him part-way and shivered as he held me tight, his thumbs tracing over the bare skin above my waistband.
“Please, let’s not talk about Jake Tupper anymore,” I said when I pulled away to breathe.
“Whatever you want,” Finn murmured, pulling me back in for a kiss. “You tired?”
“Not really.”
His teeth glinted as he smiled.
“Good.” He tugged me back toward the bench, his arms wrapping around me. I leaned up to kiss him and his teeth grazed my lower lip. His tongue flicked out, licking into my mouth, my fingers running through his hair and pulling him in close. He groaned when my nails scratched down the back of his neck and he pulled away to catch his breath, still holding me tight. “My brother’s a good man.”
“Why do you say that?”
“You don’t think he is?” He smiled down at me and pulled away, fumbling behind the bench seat for the lever that would turn it into a bed. My belly squirmed as the mattress came down, and Finn spread a blanket down over it. I swallowed hard, but went with him when he pulled me onto it as he sat down.
“That’s not what I said, I just don’t know why you-mmph!” He kissed me silent, tongue licking up into my mouth in another second as soon as I parted my lips to moan.
“Giving us time,” he whispered, breathing uneven. He groaned and pulled me tight into his side. “I want you, sweetheart, so bad. Fuck.” His hand trailed over the neckline of my shirt, and cupped my breast in his fingers. A shiver rolled through me in response, and he smirked in the rising moonlight that filtered in over us. “You like that, babydoll?”
“What’s with the nicknames?”
“They’re sweet, like you.” He nuzzled my ear and flicked his tongue over the lobe slowly. My eyes slid shut. We’d been building up to this for weeks, and now that it was happening, I was suddenly nervous.
“Finn,” I whispered, uncertain. He froze and pulled back, frowning down at me.
“I’m going too fast,” he said, and smoothed the back of his hand over my cheek. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. Just when it’s you and me, I get carried away and I shouldn’t. You okay? I’ll stop.”
“No. Please don’t. I’m just...”
He lay down next to me, and with a sigh, rolled me up on top of him.
“Ladies first,” he said, with a crook of his eyebrow. “You touch whatever you want.” He rested his fingers on the small of my back, warm, reassuring. “I’ll stay right here. Won’t move an inch.”
“That sounds like a challenge,” I muttered. He chuckled, chest pushing me up and settling down.
“Maybe it is.”
I sat up on him, straddling his thighs, and looked down at his body. He’d shrugged out of his denim jacket, and he was just in a soft, dark gray v-neck shirt. His jeans were rough and thick under my butt and I wriggled down. He grunted.
“Trying’ to make this hard on me?”
“Trying to make it hard,” I said, and laughed. He rolled his eyes.
“Don’t bother, you don’t need to try. I’m halfway there every time I look at you.” His fingers were rubbing slow, small circles over my back, and I swallowed hard at his words. He needed to cut out the sexy talk, or I was going to melt right then and there.
But maybe that was his plan. I narrowed my eyes.
“You trying to get me to cave?”
He smirked and said nothing. Bastard. I leaned down slowly and kissed him, just a soft brush of my lips over his and then firmer. He sighed, but kept his word, staying still as I kissed over the stubble on his jaw, my teeth nipping sharply at his neck until he made another noise, this time a low gasp. His fingers tightened up over my back as I tugged at his shirt, trying to get it off him. He obliged, muscles going tight as he sat up and hauled his shirt off, over his head before laying back down.
A smooth expanse of golden skin over chiseled muscle greeted me, and made my hips dip down against his. I muffled the moan that was trying to escape me.
“You objectifying me there, sweetheart?” Finn shifted his head until his hair fell in his eyes and I wanted to kiss him again.
“I’m not gonna lie, that’s pretty much what I’m doing,” I admitted, my hands slipping over his shoulders. I dragged my fingers down his chest, listening to his hiss of breath as he exhaled long and slow. My nails caught on his small, flat nipples and he jerked, but stayed still otherwise.
“Having fun?” he asked through gritted teeth.
“The most,” I whispered and squirmed, pulling out of my t-shirt and letting it flutter to the ground. Finn’s eyes tracked my movement and I felt a flutter of heat, right above where we were pressed together, when he licked his lips.
“Can I make a request?” He nodded at my bra. “That can come off, now, preferably. Why wait, sweetheart? It’s gonna get warm in here.”
“That’s crap,” I said to his flimsy, transparent excuse to get me out of my bra. It didn’t stop me from whimpering anyway as his hands slid up my back, teasing right along my bra strap. “Wanna help out?”
“You only had to ask.” His fingers twisted, and my bra straps fell loose over my shoulders. His eyes glowed in the dusky light, and his fingers drew down the straps until they caught in the crooks of my arms. He let out a slow breath and sat up, shifting underneath me until I straddled his thighs. I felt exposed in the best way, his hands going to wrap around each of my breasts, a look of intense concentration on his face.
“You okay there?” I asked, wanting to tease him for being so focused, but I was finding it hard to think of the right words to say in the correct order.
“Was gonna ask you the same thing.” His thumb swept in an arc, brushing the peak of my breast, making me shiver. My thighs flexed, tightening on his legs, and a smirk spread across his face. “I think you’re good, though. I think you’re about to get even better.”
I rolled my eyes at his ego.
“I’ll believe it when I see it.”
He chuckled and the sound went right to my core.
“You gonna keep talking, or let me make you feel good, sweetheart? Cause we can talk all night, if that’s what you want.” His thumb and finger pinched lightly over my nipple and I inhaled sharply. “That’s what I thought. You tell me if anything doesn’t feel good.”
That’s not possible, I thought, my eyes slipping shut as his head bowed and he pushed my breast up to meet his lips. My fingers dug into his shoulders, the muscle indenting under my tight grip as the soft, wet heat of his mouth enveloped my nipple. He growled, pulling me tight, up to him, his tongue teasing me until my breathing sped up. My nerves fizzed in my belly, and I squirmed, wondering if this was what he wanted too.
“I’m being selfish,” he said against my skin, taking a moment to breathe over the damp flesh. It prickled, tingled, and I bit my lip to keep from whining. “I keep thinking how fucking glad I am that no one’s done this with you before, that I get to show you how good it is.” He chuckled and shook his head. “You’re so beautiful, and perfect, you gotta know that, right?”
I felt my cheeks flush at his praise and he cocked his head, as he looked up at me.
“I—well—”
“Don’t tell me you’re feeling insecu
re, sweetheart,” his voice was husky. My breath hitched in my throat.
“Not exactly, it just feels like you’re doing all the work and I’m—” I shrugged one shoulder. His hands hadn’t stopped moving, stroking along the curves of my breasts, before fanning out along my ribs below.
“What, this can’t be all about you? You know how much you do for us?” He sighed and pulled me over, until I lay down on my back. It felt better, to be laying down, and I relaxed into the bed.
“My job? I’m just doing my job.”
“Uh huh, well right now, it’s my job to make you feel good, and more than that, I want to.” He moved over me, his weight pressing me down into the firm surface that cushioned me from below. “So you stop thinking so hard about what you need to do for me, because all you need to do for me is tell me if I’m not making you perfectly, amazingly, completely happy.”
“That’s a lot of adverbs,” I said, nervous laughter bubbling up in my throat. His eyes narrowed.
“If you’re sassing me, I’m not doing this right,” he growled, and his fingers dragged down my belly, over the soft curve of it. I sucked it in, and he pinched me, just lightly.
“You’re beautiful,” he said, “every inch. I’m gonna show you.” His mouth followed his hands, more wet kisses peppering over my skin. It made my breath catch and my hips lift up into him, a building heat in my core demanding attention. When he mouthed at the edge of my jeans, I let out a hiss of breath. I felt his lips turn up into a smirk, and his index finger traced the rise of my zipper. I could feel the light pressure slip down, down over the fabric, a sharp line of fire following his touch. The breath stilled in my chest, all my awareness on his one finger, teasing me through my jeans, making me ache.
“Gonna get you out of these.” His fingers flicked open the button of my jeans; he was pulling them down the next moment and I wriggled my hips to help him. His hand scooped under the small of my back and then my pants were gone and it was just me, him, and my underwear.
