by Tijan
Logan didn’t play dumb. “I made a call.”
Nate shoved up from the table. “You overstepped.” Then he looked at me. “I will do what you want. If you want to leave, we’ll go. If you want to stay—”
But then I saw who he was talking about.
Graham was leading the way, his hand holding another’s behind him. I saw Britney trailing.
If it’s just Graham and Britney—wait, I was wrong.
Britney was talking to someone behind her, and my chest was effectively being pushed down by an elephant’s foot. Calihan was with them.
Calihan and someone behind Calihan. Another male.
It was a double date. Just like us.
Wait. Were we on a double date?
Of course, we were.
Why did I keep doubting that? Nate had never given any indication that we were just screwing co-parents. Well. Had he? Note to self: square away what we were because that was going to drive me nuts. I needed to know. The whole rolling with the wave wasn’t going to work with me.
I’d been kidding myself, but we were back to Calihan.
Graham, he was fine.
Britney, she was fine.
Calihan’s date, he seemed fine.
Calihan, she had a hint of something mean in her gaze when she saw me, but she didn’t pause. There was no surprise. They came knowing we would be here. Nate was right. Logan had overstepped.
“Quincey?”
I folded my hands back together on my lap and rolled my shoulders. I wasn’t running, but I did pull my dancer mask on. Calihan wasn’t going to see anything get to me tonight, and she faltered, her eyes narrowing when she noticed I had my “cold bitch” mask on.
Some dancers were great. Nice. Bubbly.
Some weren’t. Some were just mean.
I’d endured that all my life. I’d been taken aback the last time, but not this time.
I murmured to Nate, “I’m good. Maybe I’ll need that wine after all.”
I felt Taylor move closer to me.
“Monson.”
The greetings had started.
Logan stood as well.
“Kade.”
He and Graham shook hands. Graham reached around, giving Nate a good-natured tap on the arm. Nate lifted up his head in a nod back. Then the maitre d' came over, and we were being led to a more private room.
Nate kept an eye on me, but Taylor was the one who walked beside me. She leaned over. “What just happened?”
“Graham and Calihan are my siblings. Calihan isn’t happy with me.”
“Okay.” She patted my arm. “Logan knew?”
I hesitated, then shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“Nate’s furious, and I don’t remember ever seeing Nate mad at Logan, though I don’t think the love of my life is caring about that right now.”
Right.
We were shown to a larger table. There were only two others in the small room, and neither had large parties. Four or five, that was it. I went down one side of the table, feeling Taylor behind me. I heard her say, “Nuh-huh. You’re in trouble.”
Nate was rounding the table, coming to take the seat beside me.
I was grateful for both of them, but I’d be fine. Now I knew the score with Calihan, I was properly guarded. When we all sat, Nate was at one end, and Calihan’s date at the other. I was to Nate’s right. Taylor. Logan. Across from me was Graham, and Britney and Calihan sat across from Logan. Her date between both of them.
The drinks came soon after, then we gave our orders.
An uncomfortable silence fell over the table.
Graham broke it, clearing his throat. “So, Logan. You just visiting Nate for this trip?”
“No.”
Graham frowned.
Logan leaned forward and smirked. “I’m here for mental warfare.”
“This have to do with Duke?” Graham nodded in my direction. “I thought that got cleared up a while ago.”
Logan opened his mouth.
Nate growled, literally growled. “You’re my fucking lawyer. Act like it.”
Logan closed his mouth, then a slow smile spread over his face. “Have I mentioned how much I’ve missed you?”
Okay.
I was the elephant in the room, and it was time to put it to bed or get it out of the way. Before Taylor could say anything, I leaned forward. Everyone’s attention came to me, and I asked Calihan, “Are your claws out tonight?”
Logan’s eyes sparked alive, skirting between Calihan and me.
Calihan’s gaze cooled, and she cocked her head to the side. “Only if I need them out.”
“Like last time? Because you’re right, I was there. In the house. Standing. Breathing. I’m sure they needed to come out then, too, right?”
Her eyes narrowed, and she was bristling.
Britney gave her best friend a heavy look before leaning forward, half blocking her from our end of the table. She pasted on a bright smile. “We bought tickets for your premiere night, Quincey. We’re so excited to come and watch you again. Have you missed dancing?”
Calihan snorted behind her.
Britney stiffened but didn’t react.
I looked at Nate. He was still glowering at Logan, then I looked at Graham. He was frowning at Calihan behind Britney. And Britney, for her part, was trying. The smile she was giving me was half-pleading and half-desperate. I suddenly had a hunch that Calihan hadn’t thawed one bit and wondered at how many rants Britney had had to listen to from my sister.
Logan and Taylor were sitting back.
Taylor seemed apologetic, but Logan was watching me steadily.
He was assessing me. No. He was measuring me.
“Are you angry that I’ve come back into the family?”
Calihan scoffed, reaching for her drink.
“Or are you angry that Valerie left Nova for me to raise?”
Her hand froze.
That was it.
It made sense now. All of it.
I sat back, shocked myself.
“It doesn’t matter. Nova is Nate’s and Valerie’s. Not yours.”
I only had eyes for my sister. The rest of the table ceased to exist for me. It was just her, me, and Valerie’s ghost.
“You didn’t want children.”
“I loved Nova.”
“Loved?”
“Love. I love Nova.”
“You haven’t asked to see her. You haven’t asked to watch her. Nothing.”
“Because of you. If it wasn’t you, I’d see her every day if I could.”
Everything about that response stung me, over and over again. She was taking a needle, and she kept puncturing me all over.
“Calihan,” I started.
She jerked forward in her seat. “It’s you. You shouldn’t be in the family. I just wish you would’ve left us alone. Take Nova. Fine. But go away. Move away. You’re just going to hurt everyone.”
“You don’t get to talk for me,” Graham was seething. “You can speak for yourself, but that’s it. I, for one, am ecstatic that Quincey’s coming back to the family. A dinner like this? Never would’ve happened two years ago. Four years ago. Now I’ve gotten to see her three times in three months. That’s progress, and I want more.” He regarded me, his mouth thinning. “I want the relationship where I can come over for dinner four nights a week. I want you to call me if you need Uncle Graham to pick up Nova from baseball.”
“Softball, honey.”
“From softball. Or soccer. I don’t care. Hockey. Speak for your goddamn self, Calihan, or better yet…don’t.”
Calihan gasped and shoved her chair, standing up.
I leaned back in mine. “You’re running?”
Her stormy gaze swung my way. “It worked for you last time.”
I stood, but I was slower, calmer. “No, it didn’t. Running hasn’t worked for me at all. I’m standing now, and I’m fighting.”
She snorted, rolling her eyes. “Really? Because from where I’m sta
nding, all I see is Nova’s daddy doing the fighting. You’re standing behind him, letting him do all the work.”
I felt the slap from that, too, but it wasn’t as bad as the others. She was right. I glanced over at Nate, who was watching me carefully.
“She’s right,” I said to him.
“Quincey.”
“Duke is my problem.”
“No.” This one came from Logan, and his tone was firm. “Listen, it was a dick move on my end to invite them. I did it for a reason, and I’ll explain it later. Nate will still be pissed, but he’s been pissed at me before and vice versa. He and I will be fine. But you and your family, you cannot take on your father. Sorry, but you can’t. He’s a special type of animal. Let me and Nate handle him.” He said to Nate, “You know why I called them, and I’m not apologizing for that.”
“We will talk later.”
“I approve, by the way.”
I frowned. What was Logan talking about?
Nate raised his eyebrows. “I can die happy now.”
Logan grinned, leaning back and reaching for his wine. “From an audience standpoint, you’re losing.” He was saying that to Calihan, but then his tone shifted again. It grew colder. “Also, Quincey’s family to Nate now, which means she’s family to me, so when you take her on, you should just assume you’re taking all of us on. Keep being a bitch, and we’ll start coming back for you.” His eyes slid toward Taylor. “Your turn.”
Taylor turned to me, then Calihan. Her eyes had been warm, sparkling before. There was a hauntedness in them now, one that ran deep, and I could feel it inside of me. It was that strong.
I frowned, already wanted to reach out to her, but then she turned to Calihan and spoke. “It’s not my place to say anything, and normally I wouldn’t, but you lost a sister. I’d think you wouldn’t want to lose another.” She held a hand up. “I’m saying that as someone who understands the pain you’re feeling right now. I understand it very well.”
I loved her.
Calihan looked taken aback.
She opened her mouth, scanning the table. Graham was watching me. Britney was watching me.
Calihan was alone. It wasn’t a feeling my sister grew up experiencing a lot.
Not me. That’s almost all I experienced.
A wave of emotion rolled over me, a good emotion.
“Calihan, you can be angry with me for staying away from the family. You can be angry if I hurt Mom, or Graham, or yourself because of my absence. You cannot be angry with me for Valerie’s decision, and if you want to be angry with me for loving Nova, then you and I are done because I will never give her up.”
She sucked in her breath, blinking back some tears. “You weren’t there. You weren’t around—”
“I was, actually. Nova was born, and I reached out. A lot. I was there when Nico tried coming back around.”
Graham spoke up, “She was there when Valerie got one of Nico’s calls.”
Calihan blinked again, weaving backward from the table. “I didn’t know that.”
“You’re mad that Val is gone. Be mad. Fine. That’s part of your grief, I get that. But stop taking it out on Quincey. You know what it’s been like for her living with Duke. You know.”
Calihan looked effectively shut up.
I was ignoring what Graham said, and I was choosing to appreciate Calihan’s silence.
She looked down, and a moment later, she sat down. Reaching for her wine, she held it toward me and gave me a forced smile. “Let’s hear about the new production you’re in, Q. And then I’d like to see any videos or pictures you have of Nova. My aunt card is dying to be punched.”
Logan looked at the guy on his left. “Who are you?”
It lessened the air around the table. Most everyone chuckled, relaxing, but then I glanced at Nate.
Not Nate.
Nate was not relaxed.
Nate was pissed.
43
Nate
We ate.
We drank.
We laughed.
I stewed.
Quincey, Taylor, and Logan all knew I was pissed. The others didn’t, and if they did, I didn’t care.
Once we left and were in the vehicle, Logan opened his mouth.
I shot him a look. “Not yet.”
He closed it and sat back.
We rode back to the house. Taylor and Quincey went inside.
Quincey glanced back, concerned. I shook my head. “We just have something to hash out. I’m sorry he called your family without your permission.”
Logan was waiting in the kitchen.
Quincey grabbed my hand, giving it a slight squeeze. “Go easy. It was a good thing he called them. Calihan and I needed to have that moment. It’ll make it easier to reach out, to be honest.”
I lifted my head in a nod, but it was hard. Every muscle in my body was screaming to fight, but this was Logan. He was my brother, my best friend, and fuck if we hadn’t endured worse over the years.
He said good night to Quincey as she headed to the room, then locked eyes on me. “Where?”
I didn’t answer, just leading the way into the basement and into one of the back rooms.
He looked around, whistling. “Why haven’t you shown me this before now? This would be a sweet movie theater room.”
I ignored that. “You were testing her?”
He stood to face me.
Neither of us was sitting.
Anger and so many emotions were churning over in my stomach.
“Yeah.” He raised his chin. “I don’t give a fuck that you’re pissed. You’re sleeping with her. I know you. I know how you are as Nova’s father, and I know you wouldn’t start sleeping with her unless you had feelings. Do you love her?”
“Do I—HOW’S THAT ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS?!”
He didn’t react. “Because you’re family to me. Because if it wasn’t for her, you’d have Nova in Boston already, and you know it.”
“What?”
“You love her, and you’re going to stay here, and I can tell.”
“I—” I held my hands out, feeling fucking confused. “You’re asking about shit that I don’t know myself. I can’t know. It was about Nova, then we went right into the fight to get her and keep her, and now… you’re way ahead of me.”
“I know.”
“Is there more going on here that I’m not seeing?”
“No.” But he stopped.
“Logan?”
“Mase, and now you, are both getting your own families. I can tell. It’s always been about our group for you. It’s not anymore. It’s about Nova and Quincey for you.”
“You’re getting way ahead of me. I’m not…” I was still at a loss here. “Logan, is this about you?”
I let that simmer, and then the answer was clear. It was.
Maybe?
No. It was.
I focused on him and said slowly, “I think this is more about you than me. You knew there was bad blood with Quincey and her family. You invited them on purpose.”
“I wanted to see if she’d fight or if she’d run. She can’t run forever—”
There was a wince there, and I got it. I got all of it.
He kept on, “If you’re going to be with her, and if she’s going to be Nova’s mom, then you need someone who’s going to fight.”
“She’s already Nova’s mother.”
“I’m getting that.”
“And if she hadn’t? If she hadn’t fought today?”
“Then she’s not worth it.”
I nodded slowly.
He was venturing into my relationship, so turnabout was fair here. “Like you think you’re not worth it? For Taylor?”
He closed his eyes, turning away.
“You fell in love with Taylor in college. You’ve not proposed, but I know you. You love her with everything in you. It’s not her who’s the problem. Am I right?” I waited a beat. “You think you’re the problem?”
I was right.
His shoulders were lowered, and he wasn’t answering me.
“What’s the issue, Logan?”
His eyes were torn. He looked all twisted. “Stop, Nate.”
“No. You’re in my relationship. I’m coming into yours.”
“Nate—”
“What’s the issue, Logan?! What’s the issue?”
He threw his hands up, turning away. “I was a fuckboy growing up.”
“Yes. So was I.”
“You weren’t like me, and you know it. I was—I fucked. That’s what I did. I had a bad feeling, I went and got ass. If I marry her, how do I know that I won’t resort back to that? That I won’t be like my father?” His voice broke. “That I won’t destroy her like my dad did to my mom? You can’t know I won’t do that. I don’t know if I’ll do that.”
Jesus. He thought he was like his father.
Mason should’ve been here for this.
But, dammit. He wasn’t. I was. And I’d been the one to push him.
My voice came out quiet. “You’re not like your father.”
“Push comes to shove, I might be. I was when I was younger.” His tone was so bitter. Haunted.
“No, Logan. No.” I shook my head. “You’re not like your father. He didn’t care that he was cheating on your mom. He didn’t care. Not you. You care. You already care, and you’ve not done anything. You love Taylor so much, but dude, you have to let some of your demons go. The fact you’re scared about this is why you won’t do this. Taylor balances you. She’s your anchor. That’s what you need. That’s what Mason did for you growing up. He was the stronghold, and you could go off and do the shit you did. I see it. No one else would work for you. No one else could be your literal other half. I don’t give a fuck what you think; you will only love her and do right by her. The same with children, because if you’re having those worries about you being a husband, I know what you’re thinking about you being a father. You’re wrong, Logan. You’ll do amazing at both.”
He nodded. “I was expecting you to rip into me, and I was ready for it. I had all these great arguments, but basically, I was going to say, ‘Fuck you. You deserve the best.’ And this is what you’re saying to me.”
“You love Taylor. If you’re waiting for permission to be a husband and a father, consider this it. I didn’t know Nova existed, and I’m pissed that I lost out on those months before, but I have her now, and I have to move forward. I have to do right by Valerie and be the best father I can be.”
