by DJ Jamison
His lips were red, swollen from kissing, his eyes glazed with lust. “You want something?” he said with a sexy curl to his lips.
“Turn around,” Avery said. “Want to suck you.”
Rory closed his eyes, looking almost pained. He took a deep breath and released it, before shooting Avery a grin. “I’m riding the edge, so don’t be surprised if it doesn’t last long.”
Avery snorted. “Ditto.”
Rory swiveled around, over top Avery’s body, and Avery drank in every detail he could of that long, slender form. Rory did have some ink over his shoulder blade: the scales of justice, with a rainbow above it and a clenched fist below it. Leave it to Rory to imprint his activist spirit into his skin.
Then Rory settled over him, and Avery had a face full of cock and balls and ass, and no room to think about anything. He wriggled a little to improve the positioning, then grasped Rory’s cock, slender and long and perfectly shaped, much like the man himself, and sucked the spongy head inside his mouth. He didn’t bother with teasing, or skill, he just sucked desperately, his only aim to get Rory off before he lost all ability to function.
The heat of Rory’s mouth enveloped his cock below, echoing his actions. When Avery sucked harder, so did Rory. It was a feedback loop of pleasure that gave the strange illusion he was sucking his own dick. But he had the weight of Rory’s body over his, his narrow hips and long legs spread by Avery’s torso, to reassure him that he wasn’t alone.
He fondled Rory’s balls, and Rory did the same.
Avery’s heart beat hard, knowing what he really wanted from Rory. He couldn’t ask, not after being shot down, but…he could see if Rory would follow his lead. Tentatively, he slipped a finger into his mouth, getting it wet, then pressed it against Rory’s rim, stroking and tracing, just teasing.
He didn’t want to offend Rory if it wasn’t his cup of tea.
Rory echoed him again, pressing and teasing, and Avery raised his hips, chasing the sensation. He hesitated to go further, but Rory didn’t. He pressed his finger inside, a dark sort of pleasure that was laced with discomfort, and Avery instantly came, pulsing into Rory’s mouth.
He shook hard, rattled by just how fast penetration had taken him over the edge. It wasn’t as if he’d never put a finger inside himself, but it felt amazingly different to have another person pressing inside.
Avery lost all sense of anything but the wave of pleasure roaring through him, sobbing out his release, until he felt purged, all his limbs warm and tingly. “Wow,” he gasped, sucking in air harshly as he attempted to catch his breath.
Rory had moved, flipping around to kneel over him, and he stroked his cock feverishly, lips still shiny with spit and cum. “Wow is right,” he said fervently. “Not sure I’ve ever seen someone come so hard.”
Avery’s face warmed, but he was more embarrassed that he’d left Rory hanging. He reached for his hips, pulling him forward. “Let me.”
Rory fell over him on all fours, and Avery sucked his cock into his mouth, employing all his oral skill to give Rory a fraction of the pleasure he’d received. Rory panted, hips rocking, as Avery raised his head to take him deeper, sucking hard enough his cheeks hollowed.
“Oh, fuck,” Rory groaned. “So good.”
And then, with a sharp whimper, he came over Avery’s tongue in a flood of salty, bitter fluid that Avery quickly swallowed down, feeling pleased. It didn’t hurt that Rory was continuing to babble compliments. “Love your mouth. So hot, Avery.”
Avery continued to lick and suck until Rory shuddered with pain rather than pleasure and pulled out. He collapsed beside him, breathing hard.
“That was…” Avery said.
“Mm-hmm,” Rory agreed, rolling into him, throwing a leg over his hip and laying an arm over his chest. He kissed Avery’s shoulder. “We’ve made quite a mess of things.”
Avery knew he didn’t mean the sex. They’d swallowed every drop.
“I know,” he murmured. “But it’s a pretty awesome mess.”
He turned his head to kiss Rory, the flavor of their cum mingling on their tongues. Chest and throat tight, Avery managed to ask, “Do you regret it?”
Rory met his eyes, his own dark and serious. “No. I couldn’t.”
Avery breathed a little easier. “Same here.”
“But it does complicate things. If everything goes sideways—” Rory stopped abruptly. “Sorry. I think too much.”
Avery pushed a mass of hair back from Rory’s face, studying the beautiful features that had captivated him since the day they met. “I love that about you.”
They both stilled for half a second. Avery hadn’t meant he loved Rory, but he did love him. He’d never stopped. And that was perhaps too big a confession to add to everything else they’d shared tonight.
Rory pulled away. “Enough thinking. Let’s go make use of the whirlpool tub they’ve got in the adjoining bathroom here. Tonight is all about pleasure and comfort.”
Avery heard what he didn’t say. The thinking, the analyzing, the what-ifs, would wait for tomorrow. Avery only wished that the night could never end. Because he didn’t want to question what they had, he only wanted to revel in it forever.
11
Avery woke slowly, stretching and blinking into the sunlight that filtered through the window. He had slept great. The beds on Bliss Island were soft, but not too soft, and the bedding was thick and luxurious. Of course, anything would feel great after sleeping on Rory’s futon for more than a week.
Rory.
A flood of memories washed through him. Rory kissing him in the hallway, Rory naked and beautiful, Rory’s mouth and hands on him. Fuck, that really happened? Rory gently turning him down when he asked for... Oh, God.
He looked around the room wildly, but there was no sign of Rory now.
Avery wasn’t sure whether to be upset about that or relieved. His head was noisy again, images swirling. Being with Rory had been…fucking amazing. But Avery hadn’t been himself. He’d dressed in lace, put on makeup, asked to be fucked.
Something had come over him. Getting away from home, this island, Julien’s brashness—it had all conspired to make Avery foolish. To think he could be someone else. But he couldn’t. Because he was already Avery Kinkaid, senator’s son. And he’d be lucky if Julien didn’t leak photos of him in that lacy top.
Fuck.
He liked Julien. He hated to think it. But he also barely knew him.
Avery was in mid-freak-out when his bedroom door opened and Rory walked inside. He was dressed in fresh clothes, his hair still a little damp, curling against his neck. “Morning,” he said, leaning in to kiss Avery on the cheek.
Avery stared, not sure how to navigate this morning after where Rory looked confident and put together and Avery felt like he was a pile of jumbled pieces teetering precariously. One good shove and he’d fall the fuck apart. Hell, one gentle push and he’d go tumbling.
“Hi,” he croaked.
Rory straightened. “We’re leaving right after breakfast, so you might want to get showered and packed up.”
Rory’s manner was so matter-of-fact, as if nothing at all had happened, that Avery didn’t know what to think. Had it meant nothing to him? If that were the case, Avery couldn’t bear to be the idiot who thought they were connecting on a deeper level.
Last night was like a fever dream. I was drunk on Bliss Island.
“Okay,” Avery managed. “I’ll get ready.”
“About last night…”
Avery’s heart raced, and he spoke quickly before Rory could say something that would cut him too deeply. “It was a hookup. No big deal, right?”
Rory raised an eyebrow. He didn’t say anything, but there was a censure to his look.
“I mean, we were turned on, things happened,” Avery added uncomfortably, rubbing the back of his neck. “I wasn’t exactly myself last night, with the clothes. That’s not…I don’t usually—”
He stopped, biting his lip when he realiz
ed his voice was trembling.
“Avery,” Rory said gently, “if you’re embarrassed, you don’t need to be. Last night was amazing. You, everything about you, was perfect.”
Avery didn’t feel perfect. He shoved a hand through his hair and dropped his head, trying to shake off the panic that he’d revealed too much of himself. That he’d shown his soft belly and told Rory exactly how to gut him.
Soft lips on his shoulder sent a buzz through his skin. His tight chest loosened. When he dared to peek at Rory, his dark eyes were intent on Avery.
“We can keep doing this, if you want.”
“This…”
Rory braced one hand on his shoulder and tipped down, kissing him. Avery melted into it. He was hopeless with this guy. Rory backed off a fraction. “This.”
Avery swallowed. “What would this entail?” Then, as if someone else was taking over his vocal cords, he said, “Me fucking you into the mattress? Because I could be down for that. How much do you weigh? I bet I could hold you against the wall and really go to town on that ass.”
Rory drew away, his voice cool when he answered, “Charming. I think I’ll pass.”
“Really?” Avery said, throwing back the sheets and grasping his morning wood, stroking it. “I’ve never had any complaints about this dick yet. You sure you don’t wanna take it for a test drive?”
“Do you hear yourself right now? It’s like we’re back in high school,” Rory said, shaking his head. “I thought we were on the same page about what we wanted, but maybe I was wrong.”
Avery flushed as he remembered pleading with Rory to fuck him for the first time. He swallowed hard. “Guess you were.”
A hint of emotion leaked into Rory’s voice. “I had every intention of keeping my promise, you know.”
Rory’s words from the night before resurfaced in his mind.
“I promise, Avery, that I’ll fuck you one day. I’ll take you deeply, as hard as you want, in any position you want.”
Fuck, Avery wanted that. He’d always wanted that. But he shouldn’t want it. His father already didn’t like that he was gay, but he understood it. He’d never know that Avery begged to be fucked, but Avery would know. And if he found out about the clothes and the makeup…Avery didn’t think he could bear that.
“Maybe it’s better this way,” Rory said, interrupting his conflicted thoughts. “Our lives are complicated enough, with the fake relationship. Soon, we’re going to be doing interviews for the media. There’s the gala to think about, and who knows how your father will respond. We need our heads in the game.”
Avery looked down at his dick, feeling shame curl in his gut. He grabbed the sheet, covering himself. Staring at his lap, he mumbled, “You don’t think Julien took any photos, right? Of me in the…lace.”
“No. He didn’t have his camera.”
“There are phone cameras.”
“No.” Rory sounded pissed off now. “Caleb and Julien are my best friends. They’re good people. They wouldn’t do that.”
Avery nodded, feeling miserable. “Okay. If it got out…”
“Your secret is safe with us.”
Avery glanced up, expecting anger or disgust, but instead all he saw on Rory’s face was pity.
He thought that might be even worse.
Rory stared out at the choppy water from the deck of the boat ferrying them back to the mainland, barely feeling the freezing cold spray blowing around. Avery had retreated into the heated cabin, but Rory needed distance. He needed the numbness that came from half-freezing to death. If only he could numb his insides so easily. He needed to get a handle on the raging disappointment inside him.
Avery is still a scared little boy.
He’d awakened that morning with mixed feelings. He’d had reservations about sleeping with Avery. But Avery had been so beautiful, almost fragile in his needs, and it had felt so right to be with him. Even if it had been a hasty, lust-driven decision. Even if it complicated an already complicated situation further.
Rory had showered and dressed, and all the while, he’d given himself over to a daydream. One where he and Avery fell into bed every night, continuing to explore Avery’s true desires—which just happened to be a perfect fit for Rory’s desires.
He should have known it wouldn’t be that easy. Avery had been wearing a mask for a long time, and he’d finally taken it off for Rory.
But now he was hiding again.
The Avery of yesterday, the sweetheart in lace, was gone. In his place was some caricature of a manly man, and Rory hated the world because as much as he wanted to, he really couldn’t hate Avery.
He’d seen the look of terror in his eyes. The shame that washed over him. The bullshit macho words that had burst out of his mouth didn’t sound like the real Avery. Maybe he could fool other people, but he couldn’t fool Rory. Not anymore.
But Avery’s battle was with himself, not Rory. None of this was about Rory, as much as he wanted to cry out at the universe for teasing him with a beautiful temptation like Avery, only to steal him away again.
And what he’d said to Avery was true. They had a lot riding on this fake engagement. Maybe it was better to go back to the comfortable companionship they’d formed in Portland. But if they were to do that, it had to start with Rory.
Inhaling one last breath of sea air, he headed into the sheltered cabin. Avery looked up when he came in, his expression guarded.
“Hey,” he said. “You look frozen.”
Rory shuddered hard, uncontrollably, feeling the sting of warmth as he began to thaw. Tugging off his gloves, he blew on his hands. Looking concerned, Avery reached for him, but Rory couldn’t handle that yet.
He took a quick step back and tried to ignore the hurt that filled Avery’s eyes.
“Got colder than I expected,” Rory said, trying to smile.
Hesitantly, Avery said, “Rory, I think we should talk.”
“We should.” Rory purposely misunderstood him. “We have a lot to do to get the ball rolling. I have a contact at The Gaily Planet. Holly’s brother works there. I’m pretty sure they’d be interested in our story, but you must have a lot of media contacts too. What do you think? How do you want to get the news out?”
Avery looked thrown. “Um, I do have contacts, but…” He shook his head. “Are we okay?”
“Why wouldn’t we be?”
“I think I was a little bit of a jerk this morning.”
Rory met his gaze. “You think so?”
Avery winced. “I know I was.”
Rory shrugged, trying to sound casual. “Forget it, Avery. We acted rashly, without thinking it through. We’ve got bigger fish to fry.”
“Right,” Avery murmured. “I think you should talk to The Gaily Planet. My contacts were on behalf of my father, and they might decide to do him a favor by letting him know our plans.”
Rory pulled out his phone and fired off a text. “Okay, I’m going to meet up with Holly to see if she can hook us up. I’m overdue to hang out, anyway.” He pocketed his phone. “Been a little preoccupied lately.”
Avery bit his bottom lip. “Because I’ve been staying with you. Do you want… I mean, I could leave. Get a hotel.” He hesitated. “Whatever you want.”
Not whatever I want. Not great sex without a serving of macho bullshit.
Space could be good for them, but it might also make it that much harder to get past this little bump in the road. If awkward tension continued to build in the space between them, it was going to be difficult to pull this off. Soon, they’d be in the public eye too.
You couldn’t just keep your dick in your pants. Rory had no one to blame but himself. He’d kissed Avery. He’d practically jumped him in the hallway. Avery had been respecting their boundaries, and Rory had obliterated them.
“You should stay,” Rory said.
At Avery’s surprised look, he added, “We’re in this mess together, right? We both made promises…”
He trailed off, remembering the pr
omise he’d made the night before. Judging by Avery’s uncomfortable look, he did too. Why did life have to be so fucking unfair? Avery shouldn’t feel ashamed of what he wanted, and Rory shouldn’t have to stand here yearning for something that had almost been.
“You don’t have to keep this promise to me if it’s too much,” Avery said. “Any of your promises.”
“Oh, hell no,” Rory exclaimed. “We’re seeing this through. We agreed, and it’s too fucking important to get all sketchy now.”
Avery looked startled by his vehemence. “Okay.”
Rory took a breath. “We’re grown-ups. We can do this. We’ll just go back to maintaining boundaries. It’ll be fine.”
He wasn’t sure who he was trying to convince, Avery or himself. Even now, when he was still irritated by Avery’s behavior that morning, he wanted to shove him into a wall and kiss him stupid.
It felt strange returning to Rory’s cozy little home with the familiar futon and colorful, mismatched furniture. He’d missed the feeling he’d had here, one of comfort and contentment. This little cottage felt more like home than any place he’d ever lived, and he’d nearly destroyed everything.
He felt stupid for panicking that morning. It didn’t make sense because Avery knew what he wanted in bed. He knew what he wanted in a sexual partner. And Rory had been everything he could possibly want.
And then he’d fucking sabotaged it, fear getting its claws in him that people would know. That he would be changed, somehow, as if a dick in his ass had the power to transform him before the world’s eyes. Avery knew logically that this was some internalized bullshit—he just didn’t know how to turn it off. He had been so close to having what he’d actually wanted.
If only he’d just fucked me when I asked.
But that wasn’t fair. Rory wasn’t to blame for Avery’s inability to face what he wanted.
“I’m meeting Holly,” Rory said almost the minute they’d walked in the door. He’d been trying to act as if he didn’t care that their relationship had taken a huge step forward and then back in the span of hours, but Avery knew Rory. He always cared. He cared about everything, and he cared deeply.
