by DJ Jamison
After the weekend of intimacy, Avery didn’t want to part with him.
Rory smiled beautifully. “I wish.”
Avery kissed him again. He could be very persuasive with his lips. Rory groaned under his onslaught.
“Okay, but just the morning. I have a lunch meet—”
Avery cut him off with another kiss, and Rory laughed against his lips.
Eventually, they made it out of bed to the shower. Eventually they made each other come again, and again, before Rory finally had to tear himself away for a meeting with a client. And the entire time Avery waited, braced himself for the feeling of shame that had grown to be his worst enemy.
It never came.
Rory met up with attorney Barrett Shephard for lunch. He had finally agreed to take on more pro bono work, and Rory had three files for him to choose from. On top of his stack was Lana Porter’s case.
Barrett stood, smiling and extending a hand to shake as Rory arrived, five minutes late thanks to Avery’s irresistible charm. He couldn’t suppress the wide smile that had taken over his face since waking with Avery in his arms. And what a wake-up that had been, with Avery so needy and desperate for what Rory wanted to give him.
Rory would have to be patient. He couldn’t push Avery too far too fast. He saw now that Avery needed time to embrace the things he wanted and to accept he could have them without shame or consequence. His responses had been beautiful, though. There was no doubt in Rory’s mind they would eventually get there.
It wasn’t even about the fucking. Rory enjoyed topping, but mostly because he was a bossy fucker. He could fulfill that desire in himself in other, pleasurable ways. He wanted to see Avery free to be himself, free to have what he desired. And if their desires meshed, well, so much the better.
“Rory, good to see you again,” Barrett said smoothly. “You’re looking chipper today.”
Rory laughed good-naturedly. “You mean I don’t look exhausted and overworked for once.”
“I would never suggest such a thing,” Barrett said, a playful lilt in his voice.
“Mm-hmm. Well, it just so happens I got my beauty rest,” Rory said. “Came in to the office late today.”
He wasn’t about to explain he was glowing from all the fabulous sex, rather than rest.
“I can certainly tell,” Barrett said, giving him a once-over and a wink.
For months, he and Barrett had walked the line between business and pleasure, flirting subtly when they had the occasion to meet up. It had never gone any further, and Rory had figured that was for the best because Barrett was one of the most generous lawyers they had on tap. As a trans man, he had a soft spot for the discrimination cases and the queer clients.
Today, Barrett was rocking some nice stubble. His dark hair was cut short, styled with gel. His blue eyes were gorgeous in contrast. He was a handsome, charming man.
“Let’s sit,” Rory said. “I’ve got work for you.”
“I wouldn’t expect anything less,” Barrett said, retaking his seat. “Lay it on me.”
They reviewed the files, pausing only to place their orders, then set the paperwork aside when lunch arrived. Barrett had agreed to take on two of the three cases, including Lana’s, and Rory was already sifting through his contacts in his mind to find a good candidate for the third. This was the part of his job that Rory truly loved: not the fundraising, which had come to take up so much of his time, but his work to connect clients with good, respectable lawyers who would give them a fighting chance.
“We haven’t seen each other in a few months, have we?” Barrett mused. “I was busy with that Harrington case.”
“I saw in the news that you won. Congratulations.”
“Thank you. It wasn’t easy, as you know. That case was like an onion, peel away one layer, find another underneath. Secrets covered by secrets.” He shook his head. “I’ve never lost so much sleep over one case.”
The Harrington case was a big whistle-blower case involving sexual harassment in the workplace. Barrett was a high-powered lawyer who took on big corporations. It was a miracle he made time for Rory’s clients, but as he put it, he wanted to always remember where he came from, and where he came from was the queer community. It had taken Barrett a long time to overcome biases that had kept him from arguing in front of a judge. Fear that he would lose a case simply because he was trans was a reality. But Barrett was brilliant, and he’d worked his way up, case by case, to become a lawyer to be reckoned with.
There were still bigoted judges, and sometimes it did hamper him, but usually Barrett won them over with his exacting legal arguments. And over time, he simply became another lawyer in the courtroom. These days, no one would know he was trans unless he told them. But in those early days, it had been a real struggle. Rory had listened to his story when they met, both angered on his behalf and hopeful for a future where his own clients could find the same acceptance and success.
Barrett had to fight hard for what he had, and Rory knew he’d always give one hundred percent to the Equal Justice cases.
“It was important work,” Rory said. “You should feel proud of that one. I can’t even fathom taking on that kind of powerful corporation.” He shook his head. “Hard to believe I once planned to become a lawyer and fight injustice, huh?”
Barrett looked at him consideringly. “You do fight injustice, Rory. You help each of your clients fight. Maybe you’re not a lawyer, but you’re every bit as important as one.”
“Oh, I don’t—”
“More important than half of them,” Barrett interrupted. “They don’t all care the way you do. You make a real impact.”
Rory bit down on his lip, flattered but unsure how to handle the compliment. It felt too big, spoke too directly to Rory’s passion for his work. “Thanks,” he murmured.
“I’ve always admired you,” Barrett said.
Rory scoffed. “I’ve always admired you.”
Barrett set down his fork, a smile twitching at his lips. “You know, it’s a real shame I waited too long.”
Rory tilted his head. “What do you mean?”
“I always thought we’d make a good match, but I hesitated because…well, dating is never as simple as I’d like it to be.” His smile turned rueful. “The horror stories I could tell you, man. It’s scary out there.” He waved his hand. “But enough about me. I should offer you congratulations.”
“Congratulations,” Rory echoed.
“On your engagement! A senator’s closeted son?” He raised his eyebrow. “That’s brave.”
Rory laughed weakly. “Yeah, I guess it is. Well, you know me, I never back down from a fight.”
He’d known Mal wouldn’t wait long to do the blog for The Gaily Planet, but he’d been too busy with Avery to get online that morning, so it was still a surprise.
He was also reeling a little from Barrett’s admission he’d wanted something more than a business relationship. As much as he liked him, and enjoyed flirting, he couldn’t feel even a flicker of regret. Had Avery not come back into his life, Rory might have accepted a date—if his professional ethics hadn’t stopped him. Which was ironic, considering what he was doing with Avery now.
All things were relative, apparently even your moral compass. The ends will justify the means, Rory reminded himself. Besides, the engagement might be fake, but Avery is very real. My feelings for him are real.
“That senator sounds like a real bastard.”
Rory blinked, taken aback. “Sorry?”
“I’ve known Senator Kinkaid in passing,” Barrett continued. “We’ve networked at some of the same events. I had no idea he was keeping his son’s sexuality locked up. Poor guy was like some Rapunzel in a tower.” He rolled his eyes. “Good thing he found his prince, huh?”
Rory snorted. “I’m no prince.”
“Oh, I beg to differ.”
At some point the check had arrived, and Barrett shoved his credit card in the holder.
“I should get that,�
�� Rory protested. “You’re taking on two cases for us. It’s the least I could do.”
“Equal Justice has better things to use their money on,” Barrett said. “I’m perfectly capable of buying lunch. Consider it an engagement gift.”
Rory could only accept graciously, though he was a little uneasy. Barrett’s summary of the news had him wondering what angle Mal had taken, and how much it was going to upset Avery. They’d just taken a big stride forward. Would this set them back?
As soon as he got to the office, he pulled up The Gaily Planet website. In a large banner, their front page headline read, Senator’s son engaged to marry man after years of hiding at his father’s request.
Rory winced. So much for it not being newsworthy enough.
He quickly scanned through the blog while he hit the blinking message light on his desk phone to retrieve his messages. Mal had written it sensitively. It was really quite touching as he revealed Avery’s engagement, his revelation that he’d been waiting for the right moment to come out for years, that his father had encouraged him to remain silent.
But it didn’t reflect well on Senator Kinkaid, at all. But would it be enough to tip Drake Kinkaid’s hand and pull that bill, or would it just enrage him?
Rory’s first message played, just routine business. He jotted down the note, then hit delete. He was shifting into work mode, thinking about his to-do list, when a booming voice hit his ear.
“Rory Fisher, this is Senator Drake Kinkaid. I don’t know what you think you’re going to get out of this game with my son, but I’m not a man to be trifled with. If you think I can’t make Avery’s life hell, or yours, with the wave of a hand, think again. If you’re half as smart as you think you are, you’ll break it off with my son before this gets ugly.”
Rory sat in his seat, shaking with fury. He felt dirty, contaminated by Drake Kinkaid’s venomous words. He was disgusted that Avery’s father’s first action was to threaten and manipulate, rather than reach out to his son.
Then a new fear tightened his gut. Is he saying things like this to Avery right now?
“Brenda,” he shouted to his administrative assistant, “hold my calls.”
Rory grabbed his cell to call Avery. He only hoped he wasn’t too late to prepare him for some of the abuse he was likely to receive.
Avery took his time getting ready after Rory scuttled out the door, tearing himself away from a prolonged kiss that threatened to send them right back to bed. Avery was soaking up every drop of intimacy like a flower in need of a good watering.
He made himself lunch at the house, just a simple bologna sandwich and handful of chips. Then he shaved, dressed, and headed for the bank. Once he was seated at his desk, he went through his usual routine, pulling up news sites before daring to look at his inbox.
His heart faltered when he saw Kinkaid in a headline on the Portland news website. It had already spread beyond The Gaily Planet, getting picked up by other news sources. It wasn’t front-page news on the Portland site, but there was a teaser to the political page. When he clicked, it linked to a photograph of him and Rory that Julien had taken.
Scanning through the article, phrases seemed to leap out and magnify before his eyes.
Gay. Fear. Closet. Father.
His world in a nutshell, out there for everyone to see. His sexuality, his fears, his weakness.
Avery’s stomach lurched and he rushed out of his office, barely making it to the bathroom in time to lose his lunch.
Why did I do this? he wondered. I must be insane.
His cell phone vibrated in his pocket, and he suddenly recalled he’d silenced it so he could enjoy Rory without interruption. His stomach churned once more, though he had nothing left to purge. How many calls would be on his phone? He was almost afraid to look but curiosity drove him.
He pulled it out to see a text from Gil.
Proud of you. That must have been hard. Those photos look legit.
Avery rolled his eyes. Rory had sent several choices to Mal, and apparently more than one had been used on the website. But Gil shouldn’t be suggesting they would be anything but legit.
They are legit, dude. We’re engaged.
There was a pause. Then: Right, I know. I just meant they’re very romantic. And, uh, you should know…your dad has seen the news. He stormed out of here after yelling at us for letting him get sideswiped by it.
Damn. Avery pushed himself up on shaky legs and flushed the toilet. After rinsing his mouth and splashing water on his face, he returned to his office and forced himself to scroll through the other messages.
This is what you signed up for, he reminded himself when he started to feel his chest tighten and his breath quicken. You wanted him to see. You wanted him to understand.
There were a few other texts from acquaintances. Most of them supportive. Avery’s muscles relaxed a fraction more with each message. But there was still social media to contend with. And who the hell knew how his business associates would take the news?
But all of that paled in comparison to how his father would react. Avery dreaded it, even as he recognized that it was inevitable. They were locked in a game of chess. Avery had always been the pawn, allowing his father to position him on the board, but he’d finally made a play of his own.
His dad wasn’t going to sit back and let him win. No, he’d have a play of his own to make. Avery just didn’t know what it’d be.
His phone rang, and Avery eyed it like a rattlesnake. The name on the screen flashed: Rory.
Exhaling with relief, he picked up. “Hey.”
“Avery, hi.” Rory sounded tense. “Did you see…?”
“Yeah.” Avery cleared his throat. “It’s been picked up by some of the regional news sites, and uh, I got some messages.”
There was a pause.
“Bad?” Rory asked hesitantly.
“No, actually.” Avery felt himself breathing easier now that Rory was on the line. Just hearing his voice made it easier to cope. His news was out in the world and it hadn’t stopped the Earth from spinning. The ground was still beneath his feet. “I mean, I haven’t waded into social media yet, but I heard from a few colleagues and friends who were supportive.”
“Good. That’s good.”
“You okay?” Avery asked. There seemed to be something off about Rory. He was generally confident, and once he’d agreed to this proposal, he’d pushed Avery toward this step. But he didn’t sound happy.
“Oh, sure. I’m fine,” Rory said. “I was just worried…about how your father might react.”
That makes two of us.
“Gil said he was pretty pissed. Stormed out of the statehouse. I wasn’t expecting this article to be quite so harsh.” Avery’s anxiety began to creep up again. “He’s not going to be happy.”
“Yeah. He might lash out.”
“I haven’t heard from him. Maybe…” Avery had little basis for his hope, but he clung to it anyway. “Maybe he’ll accept this is a real engagement and reconsider what he’s doing.”
“Avery…”
“I know it’s a long shot,” he said quickly. “But right now, I need it, okay? I need one tiny flicker of a hope to get me through the day. This is a lot to handle, and I just need a minute to wrap my head around all of it. I knew this news would get out there, but now it’s really out there.”
“I know it’s not easy,” Rory said. “And I don’t want to take away your hope, but I also don’t want to see you sideswiped if it doesn’t turn out the way you want.”
“I feel guilty,” Avery said. “I feel like I’ve betrayed him.”
“You’re standing up for yourself, and for the rights of all the LGBTQ community in Maine.”
“I guess.”
Avery didn’t feel like he was standing up for anything right now. And that still didn’t answer the question. Had he betrayed his father, or had he done what he was right for himself? Maybe he’d done both, or neither. He really didn’t know.
Avery knew th
at his father hadn’t been as supportive as he could have been, but he hadn’t cut off Avery. He’d continued to give him every advantage. He knew, in a way, it was probably only to keep Avery under his thumb, to ensure he towed the line and stayed discreet. Now, Avery had obliterated the line, and he really didn’t know what the consequences would be.
Only that there would be some.
For both of them.
14
The news of their engagement took on a life of its own, spreading not only to a handful of regional news sites but also social media. After Rory got off the phone with a shaken Avery, he was in no shape to focus on work. His phone call with Avery had done little to settle his nerves. He’d seemed rattled—and that was without any contact from his father. What would he do when Senator Kinkaid inevitably struck back?
The senator’s threats on Rory’s voicemail had been little more than angry bluster, and yet, he couldn’t ignore them. Senator Kinkaid was an influential man. Technically, Avery worked for him, though the senator rarely did any real work at Kinkaid Banking Co. If there was a rift between father and son, Avery’s entire career and network of connections could be ripped away.
Avery knew these risks. He knew…
But knowing the potential for fallout and experiencing the actual fallout were two entirely different things. Avery had also known his father might not accept his bluff, but he’d been devastated when it happened. Now, Avery was already hoping for a better outcome than Rory thought possible.
He hadn’t been able to bring himself to tell Avery about the threatening message. Not with Avery sounding so fragile, pleading to hold on to the smallest sliver of hope. It might have been smarter to rip that away from him, but Rory couldn’t be the one to do it. They’d tentatively agreed to finish out work and meet at home for a quiet dinner.
