by Paige Tyler
“Have you ever thought of telling him how you feel?” Kendall asked.
You’d have thought Kendall told Kyla to run naked down Main Street carrying a flaming sword and a package of hot dogs. The girl blushed so much Kendall thought she might pass out.
“I couldn’t do that,” Kyla insisted. “Not ever.”
“Why not?” Kimber asked.
Kyla chewed on her bottom lip. “Because if he’s not interested in me that way and I tell him how I feel, I could lose him as a friend.”
“Sometimes, you have to take a chance,” Kendall said.
Kyla shook her head. “I can’t. It’s not worth the risk.”
When Kimber exchanged looks with Kendall, she could only shrug. How could she give Kyla advice when she didn’t follow any of it herself?
“Have you ever made the mistake of lying to someone?” she asked quietly. “Starting with the best of intentions, but then realizing you might have made the biggest mistake of your life?”
On the far side of the couch, Kimber groaned. “I’m the poster girl for that.” She pulled her legs up, resting her bare feet on the edge of her seat and hugging her knees. “I got pregnant when Dalton and I were dating. Neither of us had given much thought to where our relationship was going, if anywhere. He’d been gone on a long deployment when I found out I was having a baby, and because I didn’t want him to feel obligated, I left San Diego without telling him he was going to be a father. I thought I was doing the right thing.”
Kimber sighed. “It was only after Emma had been kidnapped and Dalton helped me rescue her that I realized how selfish my decision had been. I stole something from Dalton that I could never give back. No matter how much I love him now, no matter how great everything is between us now, I can’t give him back the years he missed with his daughter and me.”
Kimber put her feet on the floor, then leaned forward, resting her forearms on her thighs. “I have no idea what kind of lie you might have told Holden, but if you care about him and think you might have a future with him, and that this lie will hurt him and tear the two of you apart, then you need to tell him the truth. Before it’s too late.”
Kendall fought back tears. “What if it’s already too late? What if telling him the truth is the thing that hurts him and tears the two of us apart?”
Kimber sat back and pulled up her knees again. “You still tell him. There are worse things than losing him. Trust me on that.”
Kendall was still considering that when her cell phone rang. She immediately grabbed it off the coffee table, praying it was Holden.
It wasn’t.
She cursed silently when she saw Isaac’s number on the screen.
“It’s one of my professors,” she said to Kimber and Kyla. “I have to take this.”
Slipping off the couch, she walked into Holden’s bedroom and closed the door.
“Why the hell aren’t you keeping me in the loop?” Isaac demanded when she answered. “Do you have any idea how embarrassing it is to find out from the SAIC that the most important undercover agent the Bureau has at the moment spent the night in the hospital because she was the victim of a drive-by? Or that Lockwood has been out of the country since yesterday? Are you trying to get me fired?”
While the idea of Isaac getting kicked to the curb brought a smile to her lips, it wouldn’t be smart to admit it.
“I didn’t bother telling you because I’ve been too busy trying to figure out if there’s a connection between the drive-by and the theft,” she said.
It wasn’t a lie. It was one of the things that had been spinning around in her head nonstop for the past twenty-four hours.
Isaac didn’t say anything for a moment, then he sighed. “So, what do you have? Any chance that this guy Lockwood used to work for in San Fran is responsible for the shooting?”
“I don’t have any concrete proof, but it makes sense.”
More silence. Then, “Do you have this guy’s name yet?”
“Not yet,” she lied. She knew she should give McKinney’s name to Isaac, but something held her back. “But I think I can use the drive-by to get Holden to confide in me.”
“The auction is in a few days,” Isaac pointed out. “What if Lockwood isn’t back in time?”
“He’ll be back.” She wanted Holden back for a completely different reason than the FBI, but she wanted him back all the same. “He has to be.”
Hanging up, Kendall walked into the living room. Kimber and Kyla still waiting for her with the movie paused.
“Everything okay?” Kimber asked, nibbling on one of the remaining fortune cookies.
“Yeah,” she said. “My professor wanted to make sure I knew about a change in schedule for mid-terms.”
Kyla did a double take. “Your professor called you after midnight about a mid-term? San Diego State must be serious when it comes to their students.”
Kendall laughed, feeling like crap for lying to her friends—again. “So, are we going to watch this movie or what?”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
KENDALL HAD NO idea what time it was when she heard someone open the door to the bedroom. Her first instinct was to reach for the handgun hidden in the small gym bag tucked underneath her side of the bed, but then she stopped herself. She couldn’t quite say why, but those same instincts that had her reaching for a weapon
He’d taken his boots off before coming in so he wouldn’t now told her she wasn’t in danger.
She rolled over and saw Holden’s familiar silhouette standing in the doorway. It was crazy to think that in a single week she’d come to know him so well she could identify him in near pitch darkness, but she instinctively knew it was him. She slowly reached over and flicked on the bedside lamp, stunned at how relieved she was to see Holden in one piece.
“Sorry,” he said softly, leaning over to set his boots down beside the door to the closet. “I didn’t mean to wake you,”disturb her. Was that sweet or what?
Kendall shook her head as she sat up. She glanced at the clock to see that it was barely after five in the morning, but the sight of Holden safe and sound had her wide awake. “It’s okay. I wasn’t really sleeping.”
The look on his face suggested he thought she was saying that to make him feel better about coming in at such an ungodly hour, but she wasn’t. Even though she’d stayed up late watching movies with Kimber and Kyla the previous night, then gone shopping with them that day, Kendall had been too worried about Holden to sleep.
She opened her mouth to tell him they needed to talk, that there were so many things she’d been keeping from him, but the words got stuck in her throat at the look on his face.
“What?”
“You’re wearing my shirt,” he said, his voice husky.
She glanced down, only then remembering that she’d worn one of his SEALs of Coronado T-shirts to bed. The thing was huge on her, coming to mid-thigh.
“Hope you don’t mind me borrowing it,” she said. “It’s so much comfier than any of mine.”
Not to mention it smelled like him. She didn’t mention that, though.
Holden crossed the room to stand beside the bed, his gaze smoldering. “Feel free to borrow my clothes anytime you want,” he whispered, pressing his lips to hers. “They certainly look a lot better on you than me.”
She caught the whiff of smokeless powder on his uniform, and her heart raced as she realized he’d been in some kind of gun battle. But that thought faded away as his lips traced a path of kisses along her jaw and down her neck. Holy biscuit, his scruff felt good against her skin.
Unbuttoning his uniform top. Holden nudged her back on the bed. Her body immediately responded, but she pressed a hand to his T-shirt covered chest, needing to slow everything down. He pulled back, confusion on his face.
“I’m glad you’re safe,” she whispered. “And I’m so happy you’re home. But I was hoping we could talk a little first.”
Holden’s expression went from confused to crushed. “What’s wrong?
” he asked in a flat voice
Kendall’s heart dropped into the pit of her stomach at the look on his face as she remembered him saying she wouldn’t be the first woman who thought it would be fun to get involved with a SEAL, only to change her mind when reality intruded. She’d told him she wasn’t like that, yet here she was telling him they needed to talk minutes after he’d come back from a mission. What else was he supposed to think?
Everything she’d wanted to say to him flew out the window. Because while it was important as hell to make him understand she hadn’t intended to betray him, making sure he knew how much he meant to her was far more critical. At least right now.
“There’s absolutely nothing wrong,” she murmured, pulling his worried face down and gently kissing those perfect lips of his. “I just wanted to tell you how much I missed you and how much it means for you to be back home with me.”
She started to breathe again as Holden relaxed and kissed her back, the look of concern that had been there a moment ago now gone. “You and home? I think I like the sound of those two words together.”
“I could get used to them myself.” Smiling, Kendall reached for the buckle on his belt, working it open. “But maybe now is the time to do less talking and more kissing?”
“You won’t hear me complaining,” he mumbled against her lips as he kissed her again.
He showed off his multi-tasking skills as he continued to kiss her while shoving down his pants and underwear.
Impressive.
Not as impressive as his hard-on, but still…kissing and undressing? She guessed Navy SEALs really were trained to do everything.
He sent his T-shirt flying across the room at the same time she wiggled around and got her shirt yanked out from underneath her butt and over her head. She was scrambling across the bed on her hands and knees to make room for him when he grasped her hips and dragged her back to the edge.
“Where do you think you’re going?” he teased.
She moaned, thrilled as she felt his hard-on rubbing insistently against her ass. He slipped his hands underneath her, gliding them up her abs to cup her breasts, then pulling her upright until her back was pressed against his bare chest and his shaft was nestled perfectly between her ass cheeks.
“Looks like I’m not going anywhere,” she murmured, sighing again as he kissed her neck and shoulders.
His scruffy beard drove her to the edge of insanity even as he slid warm fingers through her moist curls, teasing and playing between her legs. A single finger dipped inside her, curling and caressing, making her buck and moan and wetter with every passing second, driving her toward the edge faster than should have been possible. Then he slipped that wet finger out and started making little tight circles on her clit. She squirmed against him, her moans turned into one long, high-pitched keening sound.
It was almost embarrassing how fast Kendall exploded. Not that she was complaining. She’d take a mind-blowing orgasm anytime she could get it. She melted into Holden’s strong embrace and let it happen. And when he slowed for a few moments to let her get her breath back then went right back to teasing her clit, she let that happen, too.
By the time Holden was done, she was so wrung out all she could do was collapse forward onto her hands and knees, every muscle in her body quivering. She wasn’t sure if she’d had multiple orgasms or one really long climax with a lot of peaks and valleys. She’d never gotten off that many times in her life, so she’d take it, regardless of the technicalities.
Kendall was thinking about rolling over so she could figure out where the hell Holden had gone when she felt a warm hand on her hip. She looked back over her shoulder to realize he’d already slipped on a condom.
She gasped as Holden buried himself inside her in one single thrust, his fingers digging deliciously into her hips as he began to move, his hips slapping hard against her ass every time he moved. Her body tried to clamp down on his shaft so he couldn’t go anywhere even though what he was doing felt so damn good. That familiar tingle right under her clit was already starting, growing stronger with every thrust and telling her another orgasm was just around the corner.
She’d always thought that girl on top was her favorite position, but now that Holden was behind her like this, she was willing to change her opinion.
“Just like that,” she breathed. “Don’t you dare stop.”
He definitely didn’t stop. Instead, he pulled her up onto her knees like she’d been before, her back pressing against his chest as his hands roamed everywhere. Except this time, he was buried deep inside her and touching her in places that seriously had her seeing stars.
“Okay, someone needs to call the publishers of the Kama Sutra and tell them to add this position to the book ASAP because this feels amazing.”
Holden probably would have laughed if he wasn’t so busy nibbling on her neck.
Kendall wasn’t sure how she did it, but somehow, she twisted her body around enough to kiss him as she fell apart in his arms. It was the most delicious climax she’d ever experienced. She came unglued as he came with her, his strong arms squeezing her so tight she knew she’d feel it tomorrow.
They ended up entwined loose-limbed sideways across the bed, his weight pressing her comfortably into the mattress, his skin so warm against hers it felt like a blanket, his mouth murmuring indistinct but perfect words into her ear. Kendall knew there were things they had to talk about, but right then, there was no way she was going to ruin this moment.
It could wait until later, whenever that turned out to be.
* * * * *
Holden was sure he’d only been asleep for five minutes when he felt Kendall’s hand on his shoulder, shaking him.
“Holden, wake up,” she said.
The idea of Kendall waking him up to make love again was appealing, but between the mission and the welcome-home she’d given him, he was completely worn out.
He lifted his head just enough to see the clock. Crap, it wasn’t even 1100 hours yet. They’d been asleep for less than an hour. He’d left San Diego at 1600 hours—four in the afternoon—on Tuesday and had gone nonstop for almost three days. With the time change and that whole fly-backwards-in-time crap, he’d gotten home at o-dark thirty on Thursday morning, which was only two days from a San Diego time zone perspective.
No wonder he was so damn tired.
“Go back to sleep,” he mumbled, closing his eyes and sinking into his pillow. “I promise we can make love as many times as you want later. Just give me a few more minutes of sleep.”
“Holden, I’m serious,” she said sharply, shoving his shoulder again. “You need to get up. We need to talk and we don’t have much time.”
The words, her tone, and the frantic way she was shaking him finally jarred him out of sleep. He lifted up on his elbow and looked around the room, trying to figure what was wrong, but he didn’t see anything out of place. Kendall sat beside him on the bed in his SEALs of Coronado T-shirt and a pair of running shorts. They’d both put on some clothes a little while ago after they discovered sleeping together naked had only led to more sex. Not that the clothes helped much. Kendall looked damn hot in those shorts.
That was when he realized she was gripping her cell phone so tightly her knuckles were white. Crap, she was seriously freaked out. Any thoughts of his girlfriend’s sexy ass disappeared. He didn’t know what it was, but something was wrong.
“What’s going on?” he asked, shoving the blankets off and turning to face her.
“We need to talk and we don’t have a lot of time,” she repeated. She pushed her hair behind her ear with a trembling hand. “There are things I wish I could have told you right from the beginning, but I couldn’t. Now, I just hope we can make it through okay.”
She was talking so fast he could barely understand what the hell she was saying. Regardless, he recognized panic when he saw it.
“Kendall, slow down.” He reached out to take her hands. “You’re starting to worry me here. Just tell me what�
��s going on. Because my head is starting to imagine some really scary shit.”
She took a deep breath. “I know what you stole up in San Francisco. That piece of tech from the NSA.”
Holden didn’t realize he’d stopped breathing until his chest started burning from holding the air in. He finally let it out, at the same time his gut began to twist into a tight knot. How the hell could Kendall know he’d stolen something in San Francisco? More importantly, how did she know what he stole when he didn’t?
“What are you saying?” he whispered, dread filling him.
“I’m not who you think I am.” Her voice was so soft he could barely hear her. “I’ve been lying to you all along. Not about everything. But about a lot of it.”
His head was spinning. What the hell did she mean, she wasn’t who he thought she was?
“Holden, I’m a—”
Whatever she’d been on the verge of revealing was interrupted by a violent crashing sound from out in the living room, immediately followed by harsh shouts. He moved instinctively, jumping off the bed to put himself between the intruders and Kendall, preparing to engage with the only weapon he had available—his hands.
Kendall’s arms wrapped around his chest, like she was trying to hold him back. “Holden, stop. Don’t try and fight. I’m begging you.”
Before he could even ask what she was talking about, four men in olive drab tactical uniforms swarmed through the bedroom door, pointing M4 carbines at him and Kendall.
“Don’t move!” one of them ordered even as the other three fanned out to form a semicircle around them.
Holden tried to keep his body between Kendall and the weapons, but she tightened her hold on him, refusing to move.
“Just stop, Holden,” she said, her voice soft and tear-laden.
He saw the FBI patch Velcroed to the front of the nearest uniform about the same time the handcuffs came out. That sinking feeling he had in his gut dropped all the way down to his balls. Something was so fucking wrong here.
