by Al Lamanda
Gavin stared at Patience. “You’ve lost your mind, haven’t you?”
“You’d like to think that, wouldn’t you, buddy boy,” Patience said.
“I just don’t…”
“I’m talking here,” Patience said.
“But, you’re not making any…”
“So it’s time to step up to the plate and throw a touchdown or whatever it is they do in basketball,” Patience said.
“Well, you’ve covered three of the four major sports and I still have no idea what you’re jabbering about,” Gavin said.
“Jabbering?”
“It means…”
“I know what it means,” Patience said and started to cry.
Gavin threw his hands up in frustration. “What?” he said.
“If you really love me, you’d do what I asked,” Patience sobbed.
“But, you haven’t…”
“Too late,” Patience said, jumped to her feet as best a woman could with a watermelon for a stomach and stormed off to the bedroom, slamming the door with a loud bang.
Gavin counted slowly to one hundred. He stood up, went to the bedroom, opened the door and found Patience seated on the bed, rubbing her swollen belly.
“I would do what you ask if I knew what you were asking,” Gavin said.
“Really?”
“Yes.”
“I need you home with me,” Patience said. “We have some money saved. You did all right on your last score. Quit the business. Retire. If you’re asking me what I’m asking, that’s what I’m asking.”
Gavin stared at Patience as she continued to rub her stomach.
“There’s a baby in here, Lee,” Patience said. “A little girl or boy and he or she will need a father. In case you’re interested, that’s you.”
“Can we at least talk about this?” Gavin said.
“It seems pretty clear cut to me,” Patience said. “You quit or you don’t.”
“How about I do both?” Gavin suggested.
“Really?” Patience said. “And how does that work?”
“You let me finish this job and it’s my last.”
“I don’t believe you,” Patience said.
“I wouldn’t lie to you, P.”
“I didn’t say that you did. I’m just saying I don’t believe you.”
“Isn’t that the same thing?”
“No. You mean what you say right now, but some score will come along and you won’t be able to help yourself. Larceny is in your blood. It’s who you are, a good for nothing Irishman with larceny in his heart.”
“Well, when you put it that way,” Gavin said.
Patience smacked Gavin across the face.
“Hey, what’s the big…?”
Patience smacked him again. “Do I look like I’m joking here?”
“I didn’t…”
Patience smacked him a third time.
“Would you quit doing that?”
Patience stood up from the bed. “I’m late for work,” she said and smacked Gavin a fourth time. “We’ll talk more when I get home,” she said and smacked him a fifth time. “There’s a nice meatloaf in the fridge if you get hungry,” she said and kissed Gavin on the lips. “Bye, dear,” she said and left Gavin standing there with his head ringing.
Gavin made some coffee and settled back down on the sofa to finish reading Wallace’s notes. By the seventh page, he started to feel a slight chill. The heat was off and the temperature had dropped considerably outside. He went for another mug of coffee to warm up and spotted Patience’s Snuggle Blanket on the easy chair.
Gavin picked up the Snuggle Blanket. A blanket with arms, it was certainly warm enough if you were so inclined to wear such a dopey looking thing.
Okay, maybe he would try it on just to see if it fit. He put his arms in the sleeves and it went on like a hospital gown with the back open. Still, it was nice and warm, cozy even.
Gavin sat to continue reading. After two more pages, his eyelids grew heavy. Another page, they were made of lead and he felt his eyes slowly close.
Her shift nearly over, Patience sat in her well-worn chair at the command center desk in the ICU Ward. Under normal circumstances, this was the time where she would duck out to the staff parking lot for a well-deserved smoke. However, being seven months pregnant wasn’t normal circumstances, at least not for her and Lee forced her to quit, rather harshly she might add, so smoking was out and gum chewing was in.
With her left cheek filled with enough gum to choke an elephant, Patience started her after shift reports. Midway through the first page, she paused to read back what she wrote. It was total bullshit and she knew it. Just once, after nearly thirteen years as a nurse, she would like to write the truth on a shift report.
Put down in writing how Doctor Romeo, a second year intern, made it his life’s work to sleep with every nurse in the hospital under the age of sixty. He kept score in the locker room on a chalkboard over the sinks for all to see.
Or how Nurse Crabapple made it a point to insult every patient on the floor who wasn’t comatose. Especially pissed off about something tonight, Nurse Crabapple decided to play a game of switch the meds when she made rounds and if Patience hadn’t intercepted her, an eighty-nine year old man would have loaded up on the fertility drugs meant for a twenty-seven year old woman instead of his heart medicine.
She could write how Surgeon I’m Always Right refused to examine a patient scheduled for an appendectomy because Doctor Know It All wanted to double check charts. They argued so long, the patient was on the table for an hour before Patience found them screaming obscenities at each other in the Quiet Zone for trauma patients.
Then, when Patience went to the bathroom, she discovered Nurse Goddess in a stall with Doctor Romeo and after that, she found Doctor Romero with Nurse Crabapple in the lounge and after that she found Doctor Romeo in the…
Patience paused again when she realized that she hadn’t been thinking those things, but actually writing them. She tore up the report and started over. That’s when nurse I Wish To God I was Married stopped by and told Patience how lucky she was to have a husband at home waiting for her.
And that is where he’ll stay, Patience thought as she finished her reports.
Why, right now he was probably scheming with her brother to pull some new job and find a reason not to stay at home, the no good SOB.
The ungrateful slob.
After all she’s done for him, running out on her in her hour of need.
Fuming now, Patience forgot her left cheek was stuffed with gum and she loaded up the right one. Making noises like a horse out to pasture she finished her reports for the shift by signing her name in such a rage; she tore through the paper and bent the pen.
Coat, hat, scarf, gloves on, Patience clocked out and marched home to confront the miserable deserter. She’d put him in his place once and for all, leaving her when she needed him most.
At the apartment door, Patience rammed her key into the lock with so much force it sounded like a walnut cracking open. She shoved open the door and stepped inside the apartment ready for war.
The steam melted right out of her when Patience took one look at Gavin curled up inside her Snuggle Blanket on the sofa where he spent the night. He was adorable tucked inside the teal blanket and the only thing that could have made him even more adorable was a kitten, a teddy bear and a teething ring.
Patience sighed at the sight of her great big bear of a man looking so sweet and vulnerable. Her angry heart melted. Quickly, she pulled out her camera-phone and snapped off some pictures before he woke up and ruined the moment.
With a snort, Gavin rolled over and the papers on the sofa spilled to the floor. Patience gathered them up and thought about taking a match to them, the miserable SOB, but the top page caught her eye and she paused.
Gavin awoke in his usual way by falling out of bed, or in this case, off the sofa. He landed; jump started awake, rose, caught his legs on the stupid Snuggle Blanket, a
nd damn near went through the glass coffee table.
Muttering obscenities as he stood up, Gavin was shocked to hear Patience’s voice call out to him.
“I’m in the tub, Lee!” Patience cried. “Coffee’s made!”
Disoriented, confused, Gavin looked at his watch. It was after nine in the morning. He spent the night on the sofa. Then he realized he spent the night on the sofa inside the Snuggle Blanket and…and…Patience saw him.
Gavin went to the bathroom where Patience was submerged in a tub of bubbles. The reading tray that straddled the tub was in place and Patience seemed immersed in reading something.
“Hey, listen,” Gavin stuttered. “I fell asleep…I mean what you saw…you didn’t really see. Okay?”
“You have to do this job, Lee,” Patience said.
“If anybody knew I was…if Ian knew I was…”
“It’s too important,” Patience said. “Those people deserve the credit for this discovery, not some crooked millionaires with giant egos.”
“I’d never hear the end of it from Ian,” Gavin said.
“I though it was just another get rich quick scheme job you and Ian cooked up,” Patience said.
“I can hear him laughing now,” Gavin said.
“But, this is science,” Patience said. “This is history.”
“For the rest of my natural life, I’ll never hear the end of it,” Gavin said.
“If you don’t do this job, I’ll never speak to again,” Patience said. “Ever.”
Gavin paused. “What are you talking about, P?”
“What are you talking about, Lee?” Patience said.
“Your Snuggle Blanket.”
“Never mind that now,” Patience said. “I’ve been reading these notes and this is amazing. I saw this show on the National Geographic Channel about the Dodo Bird. It’s been extinct since something like 1610.”
“I know.”
“They’re been looking for a skeleton for a hundred years or more.”
“I know.”
“To think that my husband will be part of something so historic gives me chills. I want to shout it out the window.”
“Eh, P, honey, let’s hope nobody finds out about my historic part in it and that window thing, not a good idea.”
“Oh, right, of course,” Patience said. “So, when do you start work on this?”
“Wait a minute,” Gavin said. “What happened to you either quit or you don’t, slap me in the face six times.”
“Five. It was five times,” Patience said.
“What, you kept score?”
“Never mind that,” Patience said. “This is history.”
“But, you said…”
“For once in your life, do the right thing.”
“Grand theft larceny on a global scale is the right thing?”
“No more talk. You do this or else you’ll never see your child until you’re in your grave,” Patience said.
“That doesn’t make any…”
“Let’s talk about where you spent the night.”
“I’d rather not.”
“I have photos. If say, those photos managed to find their way to my brother’s email box,” Patience said.
“You wouldn’t?”
“I would.”
“But…”
“Payback for my mother’s silverware.”
“That was twenty five years ago.”
“And to this day, my mother living in retirement in Florida doesn’t know.”
“You’re going to tell on me now?”
“I’ll see to it your next mug shot is you curled up on the sofa in my…”
“You win,” Gavin said. “Want some breakfast?”
“That would be lovely.”
“Can I have my notes?”
“As soon as I’ve finished reading them,” Patience said and flipped a page.
SEVEN
The first thing that went through Gavin’s mind when Ian answered his apartment door wearing a Snuggle Blanket was that Patience emailed him the photos. The second thing that went through Gavin’s mind was a happy strangulation of Ian, which would have become reality but for the fact the stupid blanket was so long, Gavin tripped over it when he lunged for Ian and fell flat on his face.
On the sofa, also wearing a damn blanket, Muffie-Jo giggled. “What’s that about, Lee?” she said.
“It’s the new way men say hello,” Gavin said as he picked himself up.
“I don’t think it will catch on,” Muffie-Jo said. “It looks painful.”
“What’s the matter with you?” Ian said as Gavin glared at him.
“Why are you wearing that?”
“What? Oh, the blanket.”
“Yeah, the blanket.”
“Oh, well, turns out the Snuggle Blanket was even more popular than the blender this year,” Ian said. “I got about a dozen left over. We were just choosing colors.”
“Pink for me,” Muffie-Jo said and stood up to model her pink blanket. “Blue for my very cute hubby. The green is kind of neutral.”
“You gave my wife stolen merchandise for Christmas?” Gavin said, feeling that band of thorns around his scalp start to form.
“Not all of it,” Ian said. “Those…”
“Never mind,” Gavin said. “We have a meeting to go to.”
“Can’t we say no on the phone?”
“We could except that we’re saying yes.”
“Can’t we say yes on the phone?” Ian said. “I still have more colors to pick.”
Gavin looked past Ian to Muffie-Jo on the sofa. “Do you want your husband to have legs for New Year’s Eve?” he said.
“Yes, of course,” Muffie-Jo said. “We have reservations for dinner and dancing. Can’t dance without legs, Lee.”
“Then I suggest you tell Mr. Blanket here to pick out colors later and join me for our meeting,” Gavin said.
“Ian, Lee says that you…”
“I heard him, I heard him,” Ian said and slipped off the Snuggle Blanket.
Walking south on Broadway, Gavin and Ian presented quite the mismatched pair. Dressed in black pants, dark blue Pea coat and wool hat, Gavin could have been a dockworker at the end of his shift.
Ian, on the other hand, was stylish in Italian slacks, shirt, shoes, and a cream colored, full-length designer coat with matching fedora hat.
“When did you start dressing like Douglas Fairbanks Jr.?” Gavin said.
“These are Christmas gifts?” Ian said.
“From who?”
“Strangers.”
“There’s the diner,” Gavin said.
“We’re early,” Ian said.
“Nothing like a new experience, huh?” Gavin said as he opened the door to the diner.
“What will you have boys?” a perky waitress said to Gavin and Ian when they sat at a large booth by the window.
“We’re waiting for some friends,” Gavin said. “I’ll just have coffee until they arrive.”
“You?” the waitress said to Ian.
“Ya know, I could do with a little nosh,” Ian said. “Let me get a double bacon cheeseburger with fries and a chocolate shake.”
“That’s a nosh?” Gavin said.
“Well, that should hold me until our friends arrive,” Ian said.
Twenty minutes later, at exactly five pm, Waldo and his gang of four entered the diner and joined Ian and Gavin in the booth.
“Pay up, Mr. Blake,” Waldo said.
Reluctantly, Cody withdrew a twenty-dollar bill from his wallet and handed it to Waldo. “You see, Mr. Gavin,” Waldo said. “Mr. Blake bet me twenty dollars that you wouldn’t show for this meeting.”
“Really?” Gavin said, looking at Cody.
“Nothing personal,” Cody said. “I thought it was a quick way to pick up a few bucks. Mr. Wallace gave me five to one odds.”
“I would have bet that one myself,” Ian said.
“Well, gentlemen, shall we order and get down to business?�
�� Waldo said.
“Let’s,” Ian said. “I’m starved.”
After the waitress took orders and gave everyone fresh coffee, Gavin said, “Mr. Wallace, I’ll take your expense money now.”
“Does that mean you’ll get our egg?” Dudley said.
“It means we will do our very best to put it back in your hands,” Gavin said. “From what I read in your notes and at the library where…”
“When did you go to the library?” Ian said.
“This morning,” Gavin said. “I pulled up back issues of every major newspaper and read the stories about the egg.”
“Anything say how they stole it?” Dudley said on the verge of another outburst.
“Then you understand how valuable a discovery it is to the scientific world,” Waldo said to Gavin, ignoring Dudley.
“Yes, I do,” Gavin said. “I also understand how valuable it is to you.”
“Us,” Dudley said. “Valuable to us.”
“Mr. Brown, please,” Waldo said.
“Yeah, Mr. Brown, please,” Ian said.
“Please, what?” Dudley said.
“Please shut up,” Ian said. He looked at Gavin. “Continue.”
“As I was saying, I understand how valuable the egg is,” Gavin said. “And not just to you or those idiots who stole it, but…”
“Idiots,” Dudley said and waved his fist.
“But, to a global scientific community as well,” Gavin said. “That means this job must be done hidden in front of the whole world, which makes this the highest risk kind of job possible.”
“Like robbing a glass house with the lights on in front of an audience,” Ian said.
“Not just for us,” Gavin said.
“No, no, no,” Ian said.
“But, for you and your entire team,” Gavin said.
“The whole shebang,” Ian said.
“Are you saying that you can’t do this job?” Waldo said.
“Exactly,” Ian said. “But, we can still be friends.”
“Because of the odds involved?” Waldo said.
“Like house odds in Vegas,” Ian said.
“Actually, I think this job is doable,” Gavin said.
“You do?” Ian said. “It is?”
“It will require an unbelievable amount of planning, timing and skill to pull this off,” Gavin said.
