by Blair Holden
“Mom, you have to know that I never liked that guy. If he makes you feel ashamed about who you are, then I don’t understand why you’re even bothering staying with him. You don’t need him or his money.”
She doesn’t. My mother is loaded, courtesy of her own parents and investments. She’s never needed or depended on Ray’s wealth.
She shakes her head again like I’m a naive little child.
“You got one of the good ones, Tess, and that makes me so happy.” We walk in and sure enough, there he is.
My Cole.
Mom looks at him fondly. “He looks at you like you’re the center of his universe and everything he does revolves around you. I know I haven’t been the most supportive of your relationship, but I want you to know that the kind of love the two of you have? It’s so rare and so beautiful. Not all of us are lucky enough to find someone like that, and now that you’ve found it, I want you to hold on to it, okay?”
I feel like this is a moment from a Lifetime movie, the teary-eyed mother and the clueless daughter discussing their love lives while a tragic death looms in the near future.
“Are you dying?” She sputters and then laughs, catching Cole and Dad’s attention. The former comes out with a big smile on his face and kisses my mom on the cheek.
“How’re you doing, Ms. O’Connell?” Mom chose to keep her last name because she’s gotten way too many Louis Vuitton items monogrammed.
Mom hugs Cole and it’s like we’re still stuck in that Twilight Zone where my family actually gets along with and accepts my boyfriend.
“I’m fine, except for the minor inconvenience that my daughter seems to think I’m dying?” She looks at me quizzically and Cole wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me to him.
“Do I even want to know?”
“She’s being nice,” I tell him, “you’re being nice and maternal, and I’m just very confused right now.”
Instead of being offended, Mom laughs, and I even hear a chuckle from my dad. Cole squeezes my waist affectionately and it’s one big laughable matter but they don’t get it, I’m totally serious.
“Mom, if something’s wrong, you can totally tell me,” I say earnestly and she laughs some more.
“I’m not sick, but I’m flattered that you think that it’d take terminal illness for me to act maternal.”
“Don’t blame her!”
“You’re pushing it, Dad!” I chide and he stays quiet.
“No, I think what I’m feeling today is...all the feels, like you kids say. So even though it’s really weird for you and that man in the kitchen who is more likely than not laughing his ass of, I would really love to play my rightful role in your life. Starting with you, young man.”
“Me?” My handsome boyfriend gestures to himself. I haven’t paid enough attention to him today, but he’s in a crisp navy button-down shirt and black dress pants. The color of his shirt really brings out the deep blue of his eyes, and I’m struck again with just how much I’ve missed him.
“Yes, you, Cole. My ex-husband, while usually not being a pleasure to hear from, called me yesterday wanting advice on how to go about saying this to you. While he’d like to take the polite way out of this and deal with it like an adult, I don’t take as kindly to people walking all over my baby.”
“Mom, don’t...” I try to stop her but it’s no use. I think someone added a little too much super-mom to her tea this morning.
“Now, like I’ve told Tess, I think you two are perfect for each other, and I really hope that you’re endgame, is that what they call it?”
“Yes, ma’am.” Cole looks sheepish and not at all worried about what’s coming.
“But if your mother continues to mistreat my daughter and belittle her every chance she gets, neurosurgeon or not, she’s going to have to go through me and it won’t be pretty. Understood?”
Oh My God, no. She did not just physically threaten the closest thing to a mother that Cole has.
That’s it, he’s going to break up with me, and I’ll spend the rest of my life in a broken relationship with my mother, not even talking about her when they ask me where it all went wrong for my biography.
Because of course they write biographies about homeless people who loiter outside their ex’s homes and places of work all the time. Because I will stalk this guy to the ends of the earth if he ever decides to leave me.
“Loud and clear. I’ve told her that unless she’s ready to be civil to Tessa, she can stop expecting to see me, even if it’s the holidays.”
I gasp. “You didn’t! That’ll just make her hate me more.”
“None of this is your fault and you don’t deserve to be treated like that by anyone, least of all by Cassandra.”
“I agree,” Dad chimes in. “I had a good talk with Cole this morning before he left, and I’m glad that he’s holding on to his end of the deal.”
“What deal? Why are we all talking like we’re in the middle of reenacting The Sopranos? I’m so confused.”
Cole pats my head. “We’ve got you, Shortcake. Mr. O’Connell kindly reminded me that either I got Cassandra on board with treating you right or I was never allowed to set foot in his house again.”
“Dad! For crying out loud, you guys are blowing this way out of proportion.”
“I heard you crying, honey.” He’s talking about the little meltdown I’d allowed myself to have last night as I’d come downstairs on the pretense of getting myself some water. I’d uncurled myself from Cole’s arms and then had a little sob fest down here because honestly, I’d been so tired of people never thinking that I was good enough. It gets to a person, being constantly looked down upon, and just never considered to be capable of doing anything right in your life. Perhaps I’d reached my breaking point, but I’d shed a few tears and put it behind me.
Or so I thought.
“We might not have been the best parents to you growing up, but you have to know that we’d do anything to protect you.”
“You’re not the only ones,” Cole reminds them and my eyes start stinging. Ideally, the Cassandra situation would not be happening and I’d not want her to hate my guts, but considering how things were going...well, if it took a broken relationship with one person to bring my entire family together? Then I think I could go a round or two with the step-monster.
***
“Everyone’s so well behaved and it’s starting to freak me out a little. I’ve never seen you guys act so, well, normal.”
“Au contraire, soon-to-be sister-in-law. This is how we O’Connells usually are, one big happy family.”
“Are you smoking something? Can I have it? I think I might need it to get through the day.”
I swat Beth’s arm. “We’re getting through this day sober if it kills me. One day, just one day of everyone just pulling it together and not inflicting any kind of physical harm either on themselves or on others and I’ll be able to keep this day for the history books. So no illegal substances, please.”
“Well, it’s legal in some states.”
“Shut it, Bethany, I’m watching you.”
I leave her standing in my walk-in wardrobe. Apparently, she wants to wear a girly-girl dress today but didn’t want to spend money on something that would probably never see the light of day again in her closet. Leaving her to have her pick of my wardrobe, I return to the family soap opera that is this household. Surprisingly, my parents have seemed to call a truce and they’re now discussing all things wedding and football with Travis. I stand to the side and watch them, a kind of contentment settling over me. We’ve never been the traditional happy family with two parents who actually like one another, but this setting works just fine for me.
Smooth, warm lips press to the side of my head and I lean back into Cole. “What are you thinking about?” His arms come around me.
“All of this...it looks so normal. I’m worried if I’m in the wrong house.”
He chuckles. “If you want dysfunctional, you could try coming o
ver to mine. I think our families have switched brains.”
“Oh no,” I turn toward him, “how bad is it?”
He pauses. “Dad slept in the guest bedroom last night, and this morning he told me that it was better if I came to Thanksgiving at your house. He kicked Jay out too, so I’m guessing he and Cassandra are going to have a long but much-needed talk.”
“I didn’t think things would spiral out of control like this.”
He shrugs, like it’s no big deal that just when my family is starting to come together, his is falling apart. “She had no right to treat you like that, and I’m not going to stand there and let her think that it’s ever okay.”
“Still, I’m so sorry. I can’t believe—”
“No apologies, Tessie, not a single one. All I need from you is a tiny favor.” A smile tugs at the corner of his mouth.
“What is that?”
“Have some extra space in your bed for a guy who really doesn’t want to go home?”
“Maybe,” I smile, “but only if the guy’s about this tall,” I raise my hand so that it’s level with his head. “Has gorgeous blue eyes and can wear the hell out of a suit.”
“Hmm, I think I might know someone.”
And that’s the story of how I ended up with a roommate who came with all kinds of benefits for those four days.
***
Now, you might be wondering, if we were all transforming into the Brady Bunch, what is it that could possibly ruin my huge plans for this weekend? Well, just you wait and watch.
The day passes in a blur of great food, even better football, and lots of tears when it came to planning my best friend and my brother’s wedding. I know that it’s hard for Beth, especially since she more often than not refers to herself as an orphan, but I want to let her know that she’s never been alone and has always been part of the family. Now? It’s time to make it official.
Megan and Alex are in town, Cami’s flying over especially for the party, Lan in tow, and some of Beth and Travis’s new friends are also driving in. I’d aimed for a small event but somehow I’m inviting my twice-removed Uncle Harry and the works. Travis and Beth decided against holding the party in a hotel, even though Dad had already offered to cover it, but I think they realized that if given such a huge space to work with, my crazy would go off the charts. Instead I’m working with my own backyard, which isn’t too shabby. Although it’s cold outside, we’ve got the fire roaring and enough food and drink ready to go that the guests will definitely be too drunk to notice the chill in the air.
Speaking of guests...
“Oh my god, you little sneak. Why didn’t you tell me you got this dress?”
A nearly naked Cami stands in my bedroom holding against her body a little thank-you present that I’d gotten her for coming to the party. It’s a tight Topshop number she’d messaged me a ton about, asking me if I thought it was too slutty to wear to Lan’s grandmother’s birthday and I told her the truth, it definitely was. But it’s perfect to wear for your very good friend’s engagement party so, “Surprise!”
She smacks me on the arm, hard. “This was two hundred dollars, you idiot.”
“I’m sorry?”
“You better be. You’re lucky I’d give my right arm for this dress and that it’ll make Lan’s eyeballs fall out, otherwise you and I were going to have a serious conversation about friendship boundaries.”
“Speaking of boundaries...can I come in, ladies, or do I need to find a blindfold?” Cole’s voice sounds just outside of my bedroom door. He’s been so great today, not at all distracting me with his gorgeous body. I think I’d have broken down and cried five hundred and seventy-two times already had he not been there to save the day. Currently, I think he’s been lugging a whole lot of balloons in the house.
“I don’t know what kinky things you’re into, Stone, but since I’m dating your best friend, I’d rather not be a part of it.”
“Camryn, at least tell me you’ve got some clothes on.”
She looks down at her barely clothed self and whispers to me, “Do you think he and Lan would get into an incredibly hot fight if he sees me naked?”
“Cami, get into that wardrobe and change right now. Under no circumstances are you allowed to flash my boyfriend.” She pouts like a petulant child but follows the direction of my finger. I worry for the people who think they could get any kind of psychological help from this girl.
But Christ, I’ve missed my friends. Megan’s somewhere downstairs trying to calm down Beth, who’s even more nervous than I am, but then again, her panic attacks make sense. She hates parties that take place in the daytime and don’t end up with everyone being rip-roaring drunk. Besides, for Travis’s sake, she hardly drinks around him, and she knows family events like these are difficult for him. More than everything else, she hates being the center of attention, and with what I’ve got planned for her, you bet every single eye in the house will be on her.
“Hey.” I let Cole in, and once again I’m reminded that I cannot maul my boyfriend today just because he looks ridiculously handsome. He’s ditched the tie, of course, but looks rather dapper and rebel without a cause in a black blazer over a white V-neck shirt, and his jeans do wonders for one of my favorite body parts of his.
“Okay, so we might not get time to do this once I tell you what I need to tell you, but damn, Shortcake, are you trying to give me a heart attack?”
I giggle, an honest-to-God schoolgirl giggle, because that’s what he reduces an Ivy League-educated girl to.
“You’ve already seen my dress.” I twirl around for him just a little and hear him groan because guess what? My wine-colored midi lace dress has no back to speak of, and I might freeze off a vital organ, but if it gets that kind of a reaction from him?
Kidding, this girl’s wearing a leather jacket.
Yeah, I’ll take it.
Of course he reaches to caress the exposed skin, my hair in a sleep updo just so that it doesn’t get in the way, but before we get carried away, I hear a bang from within the closet followed by Cami yelling out multiple expletives.
Resting my forehead against Cole’s, I sigh. “I better check on her and make sure she hasn’t broken any bones.”
He peppers my face with soft kisses. “I’m so happy we booked hotel rooms tonight.”
Oh yeah, after the PG-rated engagement party at home, Beth decided that she wanted something wilder, so we’re well and truly having a night on the town later on.
“But for now, there’s something you should know.”
His voice is slightly wary and I know I’m not going to like whatever comes out of his mouth next so I steel myself for it, ignoring Cami’s cries of pain coming from my wardrobe.
“There’s someone downstairs that you might not have invited.”
“Okay. On a scale from Beth’s uncle who’s in a motorcycle gang to my cousin who has an extremely weird toe fetish, how bad is it?”
He looks confused for a minute, “Uh, nothing is as bad as a toe fetish, but it’s probably somewhere in the vicinity?”
“Oh no, who is it?”
And that’s when the screaming begins.
Because when I race downstairs, nearly breaking both legs, because you try running in six-inch heels, I find the sight not many people would like to witness on the day of a party they’ve spent ages planning.
And that’s watching the bride-to-be literally grabbing someone by the hair and holding them underwater, watching the person’s arms and legs flail as she tries to make a run for her life.
Oh no.
I watch Megan, Travis, and my dad attempt to pull her off, and when they finally manage to do so, I get a good look at the person whose face emerges from the water. And she might look like blonde-haired soaked rodents, coughing and sputtering, but yeah, I’d know this gold-digging witch anywhere.
Ladies and gentleman, it seems as though Farrow Hill’s very own Jenny from the Block is back and crashing her ex-boyfriend’s engagement party.<
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Chapter Twelve: I’d Sooner Decline the Dessert Menu Than Fight with Cole
“If you’d told me we had in-house entertainment, I wouldn’t have written up that four-figure check for the band.”
“Dad, in case you haven’t noticed, now’s not the time to be funny.”
I’m currently holding an ice pack to my face, wincing at the slightest movement that talking requires. In front of me, Beth continues to pace back and forth, switching between throwing me apologetic looks and glowering at Travis.
“I still think we should get you to the hospital.”
“I’m fine,” I tell Cole, who’s hovering by my side and has been for the past couple of hours as I dealt with the aftermath of getting in the middle of a fight between Beth and Travis’s ex-girlfriend, Jenny. As a refresher, Jenny is the same girl who broke up with Travis the day he got kicked out of college. She also then thought it’d be a great idea to hook up with his best friend at the time. The fact that everyone thought that they were the high school sweethearts who’d end up getting married was also, at the time, a huge blow to my brother’s ego. Not only had Farrow Hill’s golden boy managed to disgrace his family, he’d also lost his prom queen girlfriend. You get the picture, right? Jenny stomped all over my brother’s heart with her Louboutins, and it’s been years since any of us have seen her. From the gossip heard around town, it appears that she married someone much older than her twenty-five years for money, but given her sunny disposition today, I’m guessing it did not work out.
“Your cheek’s starting to bruise.”
