“I’m sure you did—”
“You will give him words.” Her full attention snaps back to me. I close my mouth.
“Words are weapons. He needed a stronger tongue. That is also my gift. He accepted it; it does not matter if you do.”
I glare at Darius. He rubs a hand over his mouth.
“Whatever. Let’s go.” I turn to leave.
“Coroner,” Famon’s voice is soft as a sparrow.
“How did you know who I am?” I look over my shoulder.
He steps forward and thunder breaks open the sky. The rain comes heavier, drenching us and streaking through the layer of dirt on my skin.
“The same way I know we will meet again.” He holds out a tiny, dark purple vial filled with a darker liquid. “Until then, take this.”
I turn and take it gingerly between two fingers. “What’s inside?”
“My gift is Scorn. A potion brewed from rose thorns, lamb’s blood, and pearl powder. Suspended in water, blessed under the seventh full moon, housed in a vial of amethyst.”
I hold it up at eye-level and tilt it so the contents swirl.
“One drop to calm the masses. A swallow to stay one hand.”
“Thank you.” I look into his auburn eyes. “Can I ask you one question?”
“One,” He smiles.
“Why couldn’t I kill the Gnorrer in one shot? I’ve been the Coroner for twelve years. My arrows never fail because of Mrithyn’s power.”
He folds his hands behind his back and straightens his spine. “Gods’ servants and what you’re referring to as monsters, are cut from the same cloth, so to speak. Monsters— beings both malignant and benign, sentient and insentient, were the First Children of Aureum. The Monster and Spirit Dominions reign above Elf and Man—”
“That’s fairly heretical,” Darius says. “Do you not believe the Aurelisan Doctrine’s teaching, that the higher Dominions, born to rule the lower, are those created in the image of the Gods, Elf and Man?”
“Have you yourself looked upon the image of a God? How does any mortal know what the image of a God is, and therefore, who has been made by it?”
“Don’t the Oracles know? Or Blind Ones— the servants?” Darius turns to me.
“I have never seen Mrithyn, nor have I read of any other servant seeing a God. I’ve only heard His voice, and from my experience with Osira, she only hears them too. In the Divine Tongue.”
“So, you see? What may seem heresy against your personal interpretation of the Doctrine, may be canonical to mine. As the Doctrine states in the At’lara, verse fifteen, ‘The Dominions were created by order, and by order shall they abide. So that Elf, Man, Monster, and Spirit, and all between, may live in perfect unity with their Creators. The First Children and then the Second Sons,” Famon says.
“Haf’naar, verse seventy-three, ‘Humble thyselves, putting your spirits of pride to the test and natural order. That one Dominion may rule the other.’ Verse seventy-four, ‘Even among the Pantheon there is such a tree. A tree with roots in both Life and Death,” Darius says. “A tree of natural order, Famon. Nature has asserted itself, giving preference to the Second Sons. Man and Elf rule the world, quite literally, from civilizations which advance. Monsters do not. That sounds like the natural order to me. Would you really prefer to believe the uncivilized First Children were meant to rule the Second Sons? A Gnorrer has dominion over an Elf? Makes no sense.”
“Careful, boy. You’re starting to sound like the Dalis, who believe the Elves are savages and beneath them in the same regard. The divine order of nature is not comprehensible by finite minds. I do not dare to make assumptions of the Gods’ will based on the trivial accomplishments of Man.” Famon gives him a toothy grin.
“It’s perfectly comprehensible by anyone with half a mind—”
“I’m not here to argue religious views,” I put my hands up. “I don’t care who read what, where, or who lives by whose word. I want to know why I couldn’t kill the damned creature with my power-driven arrows— whatever it is.”
“You are the Child of Mrithyn, akin to Him and the First Children,” Diomora says.
“So, you’re saying I’m a monster?” I ask.
“You use that word very carelessly. I do not know if you understand it,” Emisandre smiles.
I glare at her.
“Are the First Children and Gods equal?” Darius crosses his arms.
“The Deities and Dominions are not equal. However, the First Children are closer to their All-Mother and Father in nature than the comparatively domesticated Second Sons.”
“Did you read that in the Aurelisan Doctrine, as well? Because I never did.” Darius looks unimpressed and unconvinced.
Famon smiles at him, the way I imagine a wildcat would at a bird. “You named the Tree of Order. Stemming from the roots of Life and Death is the Pantheon of Gods which comprise Aureum. Branching from them are the First Children, and then the Second Sons. A fruit of this tree.
“Uh-huh,” I goad, silencing Darius.
“Because you are the Child of Mrithyn, you have been reborn in His nature, but closer to the God-roots of all,” Diomora says.
I pinch my eyebrows together.
“A First Daughter,” Famon nods.
“The Gnorrer and all other First Children are your brethren. Harder for your power to overtake. They have their own powers which the Second do not possess.”
“The Second Sons… meaning Man and Elf? So are the Elves even my kin?”
“What divine servant is kin to any mortal?” Emisandre laughs. “You take part in power they will never know. You speak in a tongue they cannot hear, and you possess the Death Spirit. Clearly, you do not know what you are, but know this. You are no longer of the same blood as the Second Sons. You are in between.”
Her words ignite tingling sparks under my skin, and I feel the flush of my foreign blood from my cheeks to my toes. I push away the idea. Just because she’s saying it doesn’t make it true.
“Thank you, Famon.” I switch the subject and turn, “I will spread the news of your survival, and speak of your kindness to the Queen—”
“No!” Iantharys says.
“We prefer to remain out of her eye for a while,” Famon expounds.
I look at each of them.
“As you wish.”
“Thank you for your gifts,” Darius waves at them, winking at Emisandre before following me back to the orchard.
“We need to collect some bones.” I walk ahead of him.
“What do you think she will do with them?” He takes a few long strides to catch up with me. “How do you think anyone can drink bones?” He nudges me with his elbow.
“Don’t know. Don’t care. All I care about is sawing off enough legs to take back to Osi. We can figure it out later.”
“Okay?” He nudges me again.
I glare at him.
“What?” He steps in front of me so we’re toe to toe. “What’s throwing Keres into another one of her explosive moods?”
My jaw drops, but I pick it up and lock it shut.
“Come on, Keres. You’re this big bad killer, right? An in-betweener?” He steps closer and locks a hand around my throat.
“Give a girl a weapon and she’ll slash you to bits. Give a girl a choice to say how she really feels and she’s the one in pieces.”
I stare up at him.
“Let’s go! Give me what you’ve got bubbling up inside that white-haired head of yours. What things you want to do to me now. You’re jealous she kissed me? Or are you just reeling from the fact that you’re not an Elf anymore?”
“I am an Elf. I will always be an Elf!”
“Good. So, what’s bothering you?”
I hold my breath and his grip on my throat gets tighter.
“You’re possessive of me. Emisandre kissed me and I let her. I didn’t even flinch.” His thumb digs into my pulse. I lift a hand to his, trying to wriggle a finger under his palm and alleviate the pressure.
“Still got nothing to say?” He uses his other hand to yank back my hair.
I drop my bow and scythe and dig my nails into the back of his neck, doing the same to him, winding his curls around my fingers.
“Keres, you want me. You know you do.” That doesn’t work, so he says, “I can still taste her mouth and feel her.”
“Stop.” I push a breath out through my nose.
“Or what? You going to handle me the way you handle all your problems? You kill them or run from them. Which will it be for me?”
“Stop talking!” I shout back. “You don’t know anything about me!”
“Oh, but I do.” He pulls my head back and brings his face right up to mine. His eyes search mine wildly, darting back and forth in his skull as they try to pinpoint a hint of submission in mine.
“Tell me, Keres.”
“Tell you what, Darius?” I growl.
“Tell me what I should do. Should I go back there, march up to that cabin, and call Emisandre out? Take her out for a walk into the woods and have my way with her? I know she wanted me the same way I know you want me. I can smell the desire pouring off you. It smelled just as sweet and promising on her.”
“If that’s what you want I—”
“Or,” He speaks over me, “Do you want me to lay you down right here, right now.” One of his hands lowers to caress my collar bone and then scales my clothing, dropping down to my hips and wrapping around to grab my ass.
“Do you want me, or should I want someone else? Tell me right now.” He bends closer and bites my neck. My eyes flutter closed. “In case you didn’t notice, I walked into this kingdom for you. I ran headfirst at a monster for you. I’m betraying my brother in arms, your husband, to be here with you. So, do you want me, or do you want me to walk away? I’ll know if you lie. Tell me the truth or I’ll leave.”
“Darius,” I breathe into his shoulder and he begins raining kisses all over my neck, behind my ear, my hairline, my collarbone. His breath is so warm it’s melting me. Shivers arrest my body, climbing up my spine and down my legs. Adrenaline rediscovers my nerves.
“What is it that you want? My body or me?” I ask with greater confidence than expected.
He pulls back. “Only you would avoid answering my questions by asking your own.” His mouth crooks into a sly smile.
“I’m trying to understand what this is. What are we doing, Darius? If I say I want you, then what?”
“Then I give you everything, no holds barred.” His voice deepens and warms, but his grip tightens a bit more. “I can make you one promise, Keres.” He stills. “I won’t ever be the guy who takes from you. The only thing I wish I could take from you is your pain, but I know I don’t have the power to truly do that.”
His eyes burn into mine and everything fades around us. “All I can do is give you what you ask for, if you ask for me. I can give you myself. That’s all I have to offer, and this won’t be an equal exchange, I know. Because if you give me the privilege of holding a place in your heart, it would be worth far more than my attempts to satisfy you.”
He pushes my hair back behind my ear and replaces his hand on my neck.
“Every day since that night we met in the forest, I’ve been waiting for the moment I could tell you that you’re the most inspiring person I’ve ever met. You’ve endured trial after trial with a tenacity I respect and a cleverness I admire. Most of all, with a fire I see as a match to my own.”
Oh, Gods.
“I’m not your noble knight. Knowing you, your naked soul, would be the only honor to my name. Penance.”
My eyes widen but he silences me with a kiss on my forehead. “That’s what I want. That’s what this is. But if you don’t admit your desire, to yourself and to me, I’ll leave right now.”
My heart is pounding against my ribs, hungry for his. Bucking against all restraints.
“Just say it.” He grows against me and crushes his body to mine. I can feel the solid length of him through our clothing. He releases his hold on my neck and—
Silas.
I’m married.
I’m…
“Yes.” It comes out so softly, I’m almost unsure I even said it.
“What was that?” His hands wander all over my body, finding their way to my pants and undoing my belt.
“Yes, Darius.” My voice breaks and I hold his face back. I grab his face in my hands. “You say this won’t be an equal exchange, but that isn’t true because you’ve already helped me claim something worth far more than all the pleasure in the world.”
He leans his forehead against mine.
“Freedom.”
We reunite with a kiss. Hungry and ready to feast.
24. CONTROL
“Darius, take off your clothes,” I command.
His brows shoot up with delight and a smile quickens on his delicious mouth. The breeze is warm and sticky from the rain; and my skin flushes with heat as the dirt is washed away. I can taste him already. I can feel him. My body is ready for him, my nether region already soaking through the linen panties I donned under my leathers this morning.
Slowly, he lifts his shirt above his head. Revealing his golden, glorious body. Rain slicks his skin as I circle him, appraising every inch. He’s a delicacy and I’m starving. Since my first time with Silas, I’ve been feeling hollow. Yearning for a man’s touch. For Darius’ touch.
This isn’t me letting loose. This is me taking control, taking my reins back from unworthy hands. I want him in a way I’ve never wanted anyone before. I can’t keep betraying my truth. If the choice comes down to me breaking an empty promise or being honest with myself… brutal honesty is me.
I lick my lips, thinking of all the delectable things we will do to each other under the rent-open sky. Darkness is falling on us and stars are winking into view. The rain is as persistent as our desire and thunder echoes in the hollow spaces of my body.
His eyes constrict with lust as he watches me rake my gaze over him. I allow my fingers to trace his chiseled abs as I face him. His eyes are filled with smoke and fire. The entire luxurious length of his cock presses against his breeches and I lean into him. It pokes into my stomach and my skin pebbles from a feverish chill. I undo the button and set the beast within free. He growls, grabbing me by a fistful of hair, pulling me into his kiss that still tastes metallic from the blood he coughed up.
Our mouths crash greedily into each other and I allow him to turn my modesty to ash. He pulls my head back and exposes my neck. His warm breath fans against my pulse, which quickens as he presses gentle kisses against it. A shiver erupts over my skin, leaving me covered in goose bumps.
He undoes his greaves and kicks his breeches off his ankles before telling me, “Your turn, killer. But let me do it.”
He turns me around and I feel his hardness pushing against my ass. I arch my back, flaring my hips against him as he pushes my white top further off my shoulders. He bites my neck, kissing his way down my shoulders as his fingers undress me. He pulls my shirt free of being tucked into my pants and lifts it over my head. I hug my chest to shield my breasts from the cold rain.
“Let me see,” he whispers.
I drop my arms down at my sides as I face him again. My nipples stand up at attention and my breasts are heavy with desire, begging him to touch them. He reaches a hand toward me and I freeze, anticipating the feel of his callused skin against my sensitive nipples. He pinches my breast, massages them as he stares. My mouth waters.
He pushes my pants down to my ankles and I kick my feet free. I want him to touch me everywhere. I don’t care about the nearby cabin or the huts in the orchard. My skin craves his warmth, those rough hands.
He embraces me. The heat of his body ignites excitement in mine; our passion melds our spirits together. My bare breasts graze against his chest, setting my core on fire. His hands wander up and down my back, cupping my ass before giving it a rough slap. The sound echoes but is then gobbled by the open air, and his next t
ouch soothes my stinging flesh.
“Mmm,” he moans, “I’ve wanted to do that for a while now.” He laughs under his breath, his whisper sending shivers through me. My legs are weak from his timbre, and his hoarse voice sounds even sexier.
He spins me around and walks me toward the nearest tree.
“Hold on,” he says as he pushes my back to bend me over.
I bend and lean on the tree, holding onto its rough trunk with my hands. He grips my ass firmly in both his hands and shakes it so my body jiggles. He spanks my ass again, letting out low murmurs of approval. He grabs my hair in his fist and pulls me back to nibble on my ear as his cock caresses my entryway.
“I know you feel how wet I am for you, Darius.” I shift my weight on my feet, relishing the feel of him behind me and the rain-soaked grass beneath my feet.
He mutters an agreement against my ear.
“Fuck me, please.” I use his favorite word.
“Lay down,” he orders. I listen, thrilled by the commanding tone of his voice. I turn to face him before lying down in the grass. I want him to dominate me. I lay on my back and open my legs to him. My bared flesh splayed before him. His eyes drink in the dripping wetness of my naked sex. His stare is feral, hungry to feed on me. I lower my hands, desperate for warmth between my thighs as the rain splatters off the tree leaves, splashing on my stomach and legs.
He growls in disapproval.
“No!” He lowers himself to me, catches my hands, and pins them above my head. "I will give you your pleasure."
His body over me exudes so much heat it melts into my skin as he shields me from the rain and sends waves of fiery lust to my core. I tilt my hips upward and graze myself against his long, silken shaft as it hangs between us. He’s heavily endowed and I cannot help but stare. His sinewy body is teaming with raw, sexual power. A hulking mass of muscle laden with desire. The rain soaks his curls and runs down his face, a drop trailing over his lower lip.
He bites my lip so hard he draws blood. He pulls back and licks the crimson juice off my lips before lowering toward my hips. He releases my hands and I place them over my stomach, fidgeting with anticipation as he positions his mouth above the apex of my thighs. His hot breath fans against the sensitive flesh, igniting me. Raindrops spritz my nipples and face as the grass tickles the back of my legs and my neck.
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