by Alexis Davie
It was all Charlie’s fault. Charlie and her stupid suggestion that Madeline liked Ethan. Like, ‘liked him’ liked him. Well, she didn’t. She didn’t like him one little bit; she just didn’t want her first journey toward home to be awkward.
She couldn’t help but think of the moment they had shared outside of the station, though. And there had been a moment. She knew she wasn’t imagining it. She had felt something shift between them when the crowd before her had parted and they had spotted each other. She had felt his eyes all over her body, and rather than being disgusted or annoyed, she had felt tingly inside at the thought of him looking at her, really seeing her, perhaps for the first time.
And Ethan hadn’t been the only one looking. She had found her eyes roaming over his chest and his abs. His t-shirt covered them, but she could see just the tiniest hint of his toned pecs stretching out the material.
She’d caught herself drinking in his body and shifted her eyes to his face. She had given him what she hoped wasn’t too goofy a smile, and then his eyes had settled on hers. She had found herself mesmerized by his gaze, unable to look away. Her heart had been slamming in her chest, and she had been alarmed to feel herself getting wet as she looked into his beautiful, gray eyes. She had kept her stare firmly on his eyes, but she had still taken in his strong jawline, his unshaven stubble that made him look rugged and hot.
She had imagined herself doing unspeakable things to Ethan. She saw herself opening his jeans and pushing him back onto the hood of the car. She saw herself straddling him, riding him right there outside of the station. Her body had been tingling when someone shouted something, breaking their spell. Ethan had cleared his throat and she had seen the awkward look on his face. It told her that she wasn’t the only one who had been thinking dirty thoughts and that realization had made her even wetter.
He had suggested getting her stuff into the car, but she hadn’t trusted her legs to work at that moment. They were wobbly like Jell-O, and she was sure if she tried to move, she’d faceplant onto the ground. She had stayed in place while he loaded her luggage and then when she’d finally managed to get her legs to work, she’d gotten into the car and the babbling had started.
“Are you alright?” Ethan asked her, pulling her back out of her head.
She felt her cheeks blushing as she realized she had let herself think those thoughts about Ethan again. He was so close she could reach out and brush her fingers against his on the gear stick if she’d wanted to.
“Yes, why?” she said.
“Just that you stopped talking for a moment. I thought maybe you were broken,” he drawled.
“Very funny,” Madeline snapped. “Maybe if you don’t want to hear me talking so much, you should actually join in. That’s how a conversation works, you know.”
“But sometimes silence is so much better,” Ethan replied.
Madeline rolled her eyes. How could he be so damned pretty and then be such an asshole underneath it? It just wasn’t fair.
Was he really an asshole, though, or was she just magnifying his faults because she was afraid of the way she felt in her stomach now when she looked at him?
“Charlie, I’m going to kill you,” she muttered under her breath.
Charlie and her damned Dr. Freud impressions. She’d really gotten under Madeline’s skin, and now she was questioning everything.
“Huh?” Ethan grunted, glancing at her.
“Nothing,” Madeline said, shaking her head, embarrassed that he had heard her muttering. It’s not like she could tell him what she had said, because he would want to know what Charlie had done, and she sure as hell couldn’t tell him that.
She was relieved when they finally pulled up to their driveway. She got out of the car and stretched until her back cracked. Ethan pulled a face at her and Madeline laughed softly. He had always hated the way she could make her bones crack. She cracked her knuckles for good measure and went to join him at the trunk. He opened it and she reached in and pulled out a suitcase.
“Are you sure you can manage that, princess?” Ethan said.
She so badly wanted to tell him why she hadn’t been able to help him with the bags at the station, but she bit her tongue. She looked at him. He was waiting for an answer, one eyebrow raised.
“Well, sure. I’d hate for you to have to pretend to be a gentleman twice in one day. You might never recover from it,” Madeline retorted.
Ethan shook his head and grabbed the rest of her stuff and they went to the house. Madeline frowned when Ethan put her stuff down and pulled out a door key. He put it in the lock and opened the door. He stood back, gesturing sarcastically for her to enter first. She ignored the sarcasm and stepped inside.
“I thought my dad would have been here,” she said.
That was a lie. She knew he was at work, but she was suddenly nervous again, conscious of Ethan standing so close behind her. Knowing that they were alone in the house together.
“He’s at work,” Ethan said as though she were stupid.
“I know. I guess I just thought maybe he would get off early to surprise me or something. It’s been so long since I saw him. I’ve missed him.”
“You’re obviously not that worried about seeing him, or you wouldn’t be off to some party tonight instead of spending time with him,” Ethan said.
Dammit, Madeline thought. He was right. She should just call Charlie and explain that she wouldn’t be going tonight after all. She would understand. She could still go with Scott or some of her other friends. But Madeline had made such a big deal about the party in the car. There was no way she could change her mind now.
“I have to go to the party, though. I have a big date,” she smiled.
She was sure Ethan frowned when she said it, but she thought it was likely just her imagination. Still, she cursed herself inside. What the hell did I say that for? she thought to herself. Now I have to find a date, because half of Ethan’s friends will be at this damned party, and if it gets back to him that I lied, I’m going to look like a total idiot.
Madeline smiled at Ethan.
“Well, I’d better go and see what I’m going to wear tonight,” she said. “Thanks for the ride.”
“You’re welcome,” Ethan shrugged.
Madeline practically ran up the stairs to get away from him, and she knew she hadn’t imagined the frown when she said she had a date. She didn’t know what this newfound attraction was, and she didn’t quite know what she was feeling for Ethan or why she felt drawn to him with every cell of her body, but whatever it was, she knew he was feeling it too. If he wasn’t flustered himself, he never would have missed the opportunity to lecture her about leaving her bags in the hallway.
Madeline went into her room, taking a second to look around and seeing that nothing had changed. Her bed stood in the center of the room, the purple duvet looking inviting and the fluffy pillows seeming to call to her. Her cream walls were still dotted with the band posters she remembered so well. She smiled to herself, running her finger along the spines of her books on the bookshelf.
Her smile faded when she remembered what she had just done. She moved to the bed and threw herself onto it face down with a loud groan.
What the hell did I say that I had a date for? she thought to herself yet again. God, I’m such an idiot.
She rolled over onto her back and lay looking up at the ceiling as she pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and called Charlie.
“Missing me already?” Charlie said as she answered the call.
Madeline could hear the grin in her voice as she spoke and she found herself returning it.
“Something like that,” she laughed. Her laughter faded when she remembered what she had done and she made a groaning sound. “So I went and told Ethan I have a big date tonight. Don’t ask.”
“I don’t need to ask. You like him and you’re trying to make him jealous,” Charlie interrupted.
“What? No,” Madeline insisted. “It was just some stupid comme
nt I made without thinking it through. Anyway, you know he’ll take any opportunity to make my life a living hell, and well, the thought of him finding out I don’t really have a date is too much. So, can you set me up with one of Scott’s friends?”
“I don’t know if I can do that, Mads. It seems a bit mean setting someone up with you knowing you’re into someone else,” Charlie replied.
She was half laughing, but Madeline had a feeling she was serious.
“I’m not into anyone else. Really,” Madeline protested. “As if I’d ever date Ethan. Come on, Charlie. I’d do it for you.”
“Fine,” Charlie sighed. “I’ll try. But I’m not promising anything. And let’s be real about this, it’s going to be hard to find you a great guy that doesn’t already have a date for tonight.”
“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” Madeline gushed, ignoring the last sentence, sure her friend could come through for her.
“Give me, like, half an hour or so and I’ll text you if I find someone,” Charlie said.
Madeline ended the call after a final excited thank you and stayed lying on her bed. She knew the next half an hour was going to drag massively. Ethan’s face floated back into her mind, dancing in front of her. She tried to push it away, but it was no use. She closed her eyes, thinking that would work, but it only made it worse. Her imagination began to work overtime, and she imagined Ethan kissing her, running his hands over her body.
Madeline’s eyes sprung open and she sat up, shaking her head. She got off the bed and went through to the bathroom where she stripped off and got into the shower, thinking of anything but Ethan.
When she finished showering and went back to her bedroom, she had a text message from Charlie. She read it quickly.
“All sorted. His name is Lee and he’ll be picking you up at eight. Charlie x.”
Madeline felt relief flood through her. With any luck, Lee would be hot and she could forget all about this stupid crush she had on Ethan.
She texted Charlie back another thank you and a stream of happy emojis and then she began to think about what she was going to wear.
4
Ethan looked at Madeline across the table, trying to be subtle. It wasn’t hard at the moment as his mom and Vic were both engrossed in a story Madeline was telling them abut college. Ethan thought she looked amazing all done up and ready for the party.
Her dark brown hair hung in loose curls around her face and her skin looked tanned and glowing. She was wearing a short, strappy dress with an asymmetrical hemline that showed off her legs and clung to her body in all of the right places. It was all Ethan could do not to reach out and run his hands down her sides and over her hips.
No matter how much he tried to tell himself he wasn’t into Madeline, that he didn’t even like her as a person let alone anything else, he knew he was fighting a losing battle. Something had changed over the time Madeline had been at college. Ethan didn’t know what it was, but he wished it would change back. It felt wrong craving Madeline this way, even though he thought there was a chance she felt it too.
He shook the thoughts away as his mom turned to him with a smile.
“You went through something similar in your first year at college, didn’t you, Ethan?” she said.
“Huh?” Ethan grunted, looking down at his plate.
He hadn’t been listening to a word of the conversation and now it was clear to everyone.
“Separation anxiety,” Madeline said. “Your mom was just telling me how you started to pee the bed in college because you missed her so much.”
“What?” Ethan demanded. “That’s not…”
He trailed off when he saw the glint in Madeline’s eye and the matching smiles on his mom’s and Vic’s faces.
“Very funny,” he muttered.
“It might teach you to listen,” Madeline said. “We were actually talking about the ton of reading on the list. I bought every book on that stupid list. They cost over four hundred dollars and around eighty percent of them weren’t even mentioned on the syllabus. How do you know which ones to bother with?”
“You don’t. Not until it’s too late,” Ethan said. “But the first year is the worst. They want you to get a rounded knowledge of the subject. After that, the book list is more specialized, and you will actually use most of them.”
Madeline nodded.
“Thanks,” she said.
She brought her fork to her mouth and took a bite of pasta. She chewed it slowly and then licked over her bottom lip. It took everything Ethan had not to moan in pleasure as he imagined her tongue moving over his lips.
He turned his attention to his dinner, trying desperately to think about anything but Madeline’s tongue and what she might do with it. His thoughts turned to the fact that she had a date that night, and suddenly, he was imagining her tongue all over another guy, his hands pawing at Madeline.
He felt sick at the thought of it, and just like that, his appetite was gone. He kept putting the food into his mouth, not wanting to draw attention to himself by stopping eating so quickly, but now it had no taste. It was like chewing cardboard.
Worse than the sickly feeling, he could feel something else, like an itching inside of his head. His wolf was threatening to come out, and he realized he wasn’t the only one who was jealous. It wasn’t just he who had suddenly noticed Madeline. It was his wolf too, and once his wolf had laid claim to a girl, it didn’t like the idea of her with someone else.
He could feel his eyes starting to change and he knew he had only seconds before fur erupted over his body if he couldn’t get control of himself. He thought quickly of Sonia Keller, the girl from college he had a crush on, but it didn’t work. She didn’t even begin to compare to Madeline. He thought of playing football with the guys, and while that worked to an extent, he knew it would only be a couple of minutes before his wolf tried to come out again.
He had to get away from the family. His mom knew about him, of course, being a wolf herself, and he suspected she’d told Vic, but she had begged him not to tell Madeline and he had promised he wouldn’t. That promise seemed even more important now, because knowing who and what he really was could be dangerous for Madeline, and he wouldn’t risk putting her in danger.
His wolf growled again and by sheer force of will alone, Ethan kept it down long enough to smile around at everyone and stand up.
“Well, I’m done. I’m going to go up to my room for a while. Enjoy the party, Madeline.”
He rushed out of the room before anyone could answer. He imagined his mom and Vic raising eyebrows at each other and Madeline shaking her head. He didn’t care. He had done the only thing he could do.
Once he was in his room, he stopped trying to control his thoughts. He could control his wolf in that he could stop him coming right out, and it didn’t matter if his eyes changed or fur exploded down his back when he was alone. Still, though, the thought of Madeline with another guy ate at him.
His jealousy reached new heights when he heard the doorbell ring downstairs. It had to be Madeline’s date. He made a low, growling sound in the back of his throat. Madeline should be his, damn it. He was so pissed off about her date that he didn’t even bother to remind himself of all of the reasons why he and Madeline being together was a bad idea.
He glanced out of the window when he heard Madeline shouting goodbye and then the front door slamming shut. He didn’t recognize the guy she was with, but he instantly hated him.
His cell phone started to ring and he moved away from the window, glad of the distraction. He took the call.
“Hey, bro, what’s up?” his friend, Cole, said.
“Ah, not much, man. You?” Ethan replied, sitting down on the edge of his bed.
“Same. Listen, we’re off to a party tonight. You should totally come.”
Ethan thought about it for a moment. Maybe a party was exactly what he needed to take his mind off Madeline, but he knew he wasn’t in a party mood, and he would only bring the others down wi
th him.
“I’m not really in the mood for a party,” he said.
“Oh, come on, bro,” Cole insisted. “It’s Jackson’s party. You know how epic his parties are. And this one is the best one of the year. Welcoming the first years back from college and all that shit. Seriously, bro, I went to it last year and it was wall-to-wall pussy.”
Ethan cringed at the expression. He didn’t want wall-to-wall pussy. He just wanted one pussy. The one he could never have.
He opened his mouth to say no again, but then he realized that this must be the party Madeline was going to and he heard himself saying yes instead.
“Cool,” Cole said. “We’ll be having a little pre-game at my place before the party. Get here whenever.”
He ended the call and Ethan asked himself if this was really a good idea. Did it make him a creepy stalker type? He dismissed that idea instantly. He had been going to Jackson’s parties long before he even knew Madeline existed. And besides, this gave him an excuse for his too quick departure from the dinner table, something he knew his mom would ask him about. He could just say he realized the time and knew he had to go and get changed.
And as much as he tried to tell himself he didn’t care what Madeline was doing, he liked the idea of being around to make sure her date wasn’t some sort of creep. And maybe even to charm her enough that she ditched the date altogether.
5
Madeline looked around. The party was starting to liven up. The drinks were flowing and the music was loud, bouncing through the whole house. Everywhere she looked, people were drinking, dancing, laughing, hooking up. Normally, she would be having a good time, but all she could think about was Ethan. It was driving her crazy. She was sitting here with a cute guy who seemed to be into her, and all she could think about was her annoying stepbrother and how damned good he had looked when he had come to pick her up from the station.
She pushed Ethan from her head for the fifth time in the last minute and focused on Lee. He was cute. He had blond hair that kind of flopped over his forehead and he had beautiful, blue eyes. He had a little dimple in his chin, and Madeline knew she would find him attractive any other time, but now when she looked at him, she couldn’t help but compare him to Ethan, and he just didn’t measure up.
